Jack set the last bowl of pretzels out on the living room coffee table and stood back to take a good look around the room. Carter had been right - the yellow streamers were a nice touch. He hadn't wanted to go overboard with decorations, but they did need to do something to make the house look more cheerful. The mood around here was depressing.
"People should be arriving soon, Sir," Carter said as she walked into the room. "Do you think I should give Daniel his treatment now, so he'll sleep through it?"
Jack shook his head. "No, that would probably be a bad idea. Wait until everyone's gone home. At least then he'll probably sleep through the night."
She cocked her head towards the window. "Is he still out there?"
"Yeah," Jack replied. "He's been out there almost all day as far as I can tell."
"It's getting dark now. Shouldn't someone bring him in?"
Jack gave her a dark look. By 'someone,' she obviously meant him. "Fine," he grumbled. "I'll try. Go check on Fraiser for me, would you?"
Carter nodded and retreated upstairs while Jack made his way over to the front door.
It wasn't that he didn't want to go out there and talk to Daniel; it was just that he knew what kind of a reception he would get from him. He'd been in a foul mood all day, presumably over the party. Fraiser had told Jack when he'd come by that afternoon that Daniel had barely spoken a word to her since his visit the day before. He'd watched TV for the rest of the day, suffered silently through his nightmares all night, locked himself away in his office while he had a hallucination in the morning, and had been sitting outside on the porch ever since. She was worried about him, and rightly so. Daniel's depression, or whatever the hell it was, was rapidly growing worse.
Jack hunched the collar of his sweatshirt higher over his neck at the blast of cool fall air that hit him as soon as he stepped outside. He quickly closed the door behind him to keep the heat in the house. "How's it going, Daniel?" he asked as he stuffed his hands deep inside his pockets to keep them warm.
Daniel didn't even acknowledge Jack's presence. He was lying on his back across the length of the porch swing, his knees propped up and his hands on his stomach, staring up at the tree in the front yard. He'd been in the same position for well over an hour, and it was starting to get spooky.
"Hey," he said in a sharp tone, "Earth to Daniel. Why don't you come on inside, huh? You'll freeze your butt off out here."
"That's why I'm wearing a jacket."
Jack drew his hands out of his pockets and clapped them together as he sat down on the porch chair nearest to Daniel. "Ahh, a sign of life," he said. "That's progress."
Daniel folded his arms across his chest and turned his face towards the back of the swing. "Leave me alone, Jack."
"Why? So you can mope out here all by yourself? I thought misery loves company."
"I'm not moping."
"Sure looks like you're moping."
"Well, I'm not. I'm staying out of Janet's hair, just like you told me to."
Jack paused a moment before he responded to this. He may not remember every word he ever said verbatim, but he knew he'd never said that. "I believe I told you not to give her a hard time, Daniel, not avoid her completely."
"Same difference," he mumbled.
Jack let out an exasperated breath and swallowed the urge to slap some sense into the guy. He felt bad for what Daniel was going through, but his patience was wearing thin in regards to his attitude. "Do you know why I told you not to give her a hard time?"
Daniel didn't answer.
"Because she deserves better than the crap you've been giving her, Daniel."
"I know she does," Daniel said quietly.
Jack softened a little at the wistfulness he heard in Daniel's voice. "Then try, Daniel," he said. "Try breaking out of this funk, huh? Treat her a little better. At the very least talk to her."
A hard edge crept back into Daniel's tone as he responded to this. "That's easy for you to say, Jack. You're not the one whose head is all screwed up. I can't even think straight half the time, and the rest of the time I can't seem to control my own actions." He sat up then to look Jack straight in the eye. "You wanted to know yesterday why I lock myself in my office? It's because I'm scared, Jack. I'm scared as hell that I'm going to hurt somebody and not even know I've done it until it's too late. I would already have killed the dog if I'd had something heavier than my pillow to throw at him the other night. Now you're bringing a bunch of people here tonight who are all going to be watching me. They'll analyze everything I do, watching for some sign that I'm about to lose it. And I will lose it, Jack. They will make me lose it. Only with the house full of people, I'll have nowhere to run!"
Jack was so stunned by this long speech that he couldn't even formulate a reply.
"You think I don't know Janet deserves better than me?" Daniel continued. "Well, I do. Everyone deserves better than me, so why don't you all just leave me the hell alone?"
"Because we care about you, Daniel. And because we know this isn't permanent."
"No, because Mackenzie told you to stick with me no matter what I do or say. Isn't that right?"
"Mackenzie has nothing to do..."
"Don't lie to me, Jack. You, Sam, and Teal'c haven't even had the guts to come visit me more than once since I got here. Why? Because you're only willing to do as much for a jerk like me as fits into your own little sense of duty, that's why."
"What the hell kind of bull is that?" Jack's temper was rising now. He couldn't believe the accusations that were coming out of Daniel's mouth. "We've been busy this past week, Daniel. I've wanted to spend more time with you and Fraiser, I just haven't had the chance."
"Right," Daniel said with a roll of his eyes.
"And for your information, none of us are doing this out of a sense of duty. We're doing it to help our friend through the worst time of his life. Can you really not understand that?"
"Just shove it up your ass, Jack."
Jack gaped at Daniel as he hopped off the swing and charged down the porch steps. "Daniel!" he yelled as he got up to follow him.
"Leave me the hell alone, Jack!" Daniel yelled back from the driveway. "I'm not running away, if that's what you're afraid of. Just have your precious party and leave me alone!"
As much as he wanted to go after him and force him to listen to reason, Jack decided it would be best to let him go. So, he just stood there watching as Daniel stormed off, heading around the corner of the house and into the backyard.
"Colonel?" said a soft voice behind him.
"Sorry, Doc," he said without turning around. "I can't seem to get through to him no matter what I do."
"Don't worry about it. He'll come around eventually. He always does."
Jack looked over his shoulder at her, surprised by the resignation in her tone.
"You should come inside, Colonel," she said. "It's cold out here."
Jack cast one last look in the direction Daniel had disappeared, and then nodded and followed her back into the house.
Janet had a hard time playing hostess while Daniel was God knew where doing God knew what, but she forced a smile for each of her guests whenever they spoke to her. She also managed to look thrilled over each gift she received, even though all she wanted for her birthday was for someone to fix the colossal mess her life had become.
Colonel O'Neill, Sam, and Teal'c's gift was the most difficult for her to ooh and ahh over, because it made her want to cry instead. They had somehow found a place that created customized teddy bears, and had made two just for her - one was obviously female and was wearing a white coat with a tiny stethoscope around its neck, and the other was male and was wearing an olive green jacket, bandana, and glasses. They had even attached a miniature SG patch to the boy bear's shoulder.
"Their names are Danbear and Janbear," Colonel O'Neill informed her with pride. He held Danbear up for everyone in the room to see. "The resemblance is uncanny, don't you think?"
This comment earned a few laughs from the others, but Janet had to quickly look away before she lost control of her unstable emotions.
Just when she decided to steal away from the crowd for a little while, she felt a light touch on her elbow. "Is everything okay, Janet?"
She turned to see Andrew looking down at her with worried eyes, and it took all of her strength and willpower to force a wobbly smile for him. "Yes, everything's fine," she said. "Thank you."
"It doesn't look fine," he said. With one hand still resting on her arm, he brought his other up to touch one of the dark circles under her eyes. "It doesn't look like you're getting much sleep. Have things been bad the last few days?"
"No worse than usual," Janet lied. She sighed as his hand moved to cup the side of her neck, his thumb gently brushing her jaw. She felt as though she should feel uncomfortable at the way he was touching her, but instead she found that she liked it. It felt like it had been a lifetime since a man had touched her with such tenderness and concern.
"Where is Daniel, anyway?" he asked. "I haven't seen him in all the time I've been here. Is he okay?"
Janet hesitated, not sure how to answer this in a way that wouldn't make it sound worse than it was. "He's..."
"Daniel's right here," a loud voice suddenly spoke up from the kitchen doorway.
Janet winced as she saw the man in question striding down the hall towards them. He did not look happy. Thankfully, Andrew quickly withdrew his hands from her face and arm as soon as he heard his voice.
"Daniel's just fine," Daniel said, his gaze fixed solely on Andrew as he came to stand next to Janet. His stance said it all - his feet were set wide apart, his hands were on his hips, his back was straight, and his head was tilted upwards just a little. He was mad.
Andrew cleared his throat nervously. "I'm glad to hear it," he said. There was really nothing else he could say without running the risk of getting his head chewed off, it seemed.
"So, Janet," Daniel said in a forced cheerful tone. "Why don't you introduce me to your friends? I know I've probably met them all before, but I'm damned if I remember any one of them." He wrapped his arm around Janet's waist as he spoke, and pulled her tightly against his side. "Present company excluded, of course," he added with a sharp glare at Andrew.
Janet's face grew boiling hot from embarrassment and anger at Daniel's behaviour. He seemed to be finding great enjoyment in humiliating her. If there hadn't been so many people around, she would have kneed him in a certain sensitive part of his anatomy quite happily. Luckily for Daniel, the fact that every eye in the room was upon them was enough to hold her back.
A few seconds of uncomfortable silence passed before Sam took pity on her and spoke up. "Um... Daniel, do you remember Pete? We've been seeing each other for a couple of months now." Pete smiled and stepped forward with his hand out for Daniel to shake. Janet wasn't sure how Daniel would react to this, but thankfully he took the proffered hand quite cordially.
"Hey, Daniel," Pete said. "Good to see you looking well."
"Thanks," Daniel said. "I don't remember you at all, but any friend of Sam's is a friend of mine."
Pete clearly didn't know how to respond to that, so he just nodded and went back to Sam's side.
Daniel then looked down at Janet, who was still pressed up against him rather painfully. "Come on, Janet, be the wonderful hostess I know you are," he said. "Introduce your guests."
Janet was seeing red by this time, but she didn't want to make more of a scene than was already being made. With a heavy sigh, she gestured to the man and woman standing closest to them. "This is Dr. Brian Flietstra and his wife Faith," she said, hoping her tone was calmer than she was feeling.
Without letting go of Janet, Daniel leaned forward to shake Brian's hand. "You're the morgue guy, right?" he asked as he looked closely at Brian's face.
"I... don't think I've ever been called that before, but yes, that's me," Brian replied. He gave Janet an almost imperceptible wink as Daniel turned to greet his wife, and Janet smiled back at him in appreciation. She knew it was his way of telling her that there was no reason for the situation to embarrass her. They all knew that Daniel wasn't exactly himself these days.
"Well, I would have used the proper term, but I can't remember it at the moment," Daniel said. "I can't really remember much about you, either, but I guess that doesn't really matter. We'll be getting to know each other pretty well soon enough. Or at least you'll be getting to know me... inside and out."
"Daniel!" His words were starting to make Janet nauseous.
"No offense to your wonderful medical care, Janet," he said, squeezing her roughly. "Nor yours, Andrew," he added.
"Okay, that's enough, Daniel," Colonel O'Neill broke in at last. He stepped through the small crowd and grabbed Daniel by the arm. "Come on. You're leaving."
"But I don't want to leave, Jack," Daniel said, his defiance plain to be seen in his posture and expression. "This is Janet's birthday after all. Doesn't she want to be with the people she loves?"
"Not when they're acting like complete jackasses, no." The colonel tugged so hard on Daniel's arm that he staggered a few steps toward the kitchen. Unfortunately, he didn't let go of Janet, and she was dragged along, too.
"Get your hands off me, Jack!" Daniel yelled, finally losing his temper.
Janet broke away from him as soon as Daniel brought the arm that was holding her around to pry Jack's hands off his other arm. Andrew pulled her to him so she was safe from the struggle that was going on between the two men in the hallway. She leaned heavily against him, panting for breath as she watched the scene unfold.
Daniel kept trying to push Jack away, but Jack was much stronger and maintained his firm hold on Daniel's arm. Failing that, Daniel started trying to hit him, but after his first strike missed, Teal'c and Pete rushed over and grabbed his free arm. Together the three men managed to push Daniel into his office and slam the door behind them.
Janet felt overwhelming relief as soon as Daniel was out of sight, and that in itself frightened her.
"Are you okay?" Andrew murmured into her hair.
She suddenly realized that he had his arms around her waist and was holding her almost intimately with her back pressed tightly against his chest. Though his hold on her wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as Daniel's had been, it made warning alarms go off in her brain. She quickly stepped out of his embrace and turned to face him. "I'm fine," she said. "He didn't hurt me."
Andrew looked more than worried now - he looked scared. "How do we know you'll be fine the next time this happens?" he asked, brushing a loose strand of hair back from her face. "What if he gets that way while you're alone, and there's no one to stop him from hurting you? I really think you should send him off to Colonel O'Neill's."
"I appreciate your concern, Drew, but it's really not necessary," she said.
"I agree with Andrew," Brian spoke up. "I don't think it's safe for you to be alone with him anymore, Janet."
Janet shook her head in disbelief, but before she could reply, Sam stepped in.
"Wait a minute," she said, "I think you're all speaking a little too soon here. I'll be giving him another treatment tonight, and chances are he'll calm down again."
"What if he doesn't?" Andrew asked, folding his arms across his chest. "For all we know, this little outburst was just the tip of the iceberg."
"And what was all that about me getting to know him inside and out?" Brian said. "There's nothing medically wrong with him at this point that could turn fatal, so what exactly did that mean?"
"Has he seemed at all suicidal?" Andrew asked.
Janet could only stand there with her mouth hanging open as everyone focused on her, waiting to hear the answer to his question. "I... don't know," she finally said. "I don't think so. I agree with Sam, though, we should wait and see how he is after his next treatment."
Andrew and Brian looked like they were about to argue this point, but Sam stepped in before they could speak. "One of us will stay here until we know for sure," she said with finality.
"That sounds like a good idea," Janet agreed.
She looked over at Daniel's office door when she realized the men inside had gone very
quiet. She hoped she could take that as a good sign, but couldn't help but feel a sense
of dread at the same time. As brave as she tried to appear to her friends' anxious gazes,
on the inside she was shaken to the core. Would Daniel really have hurt her? To her
dismay, she found she didn't know how to answer that question anymore.
To be continued...