Chloe Sullivan and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day
I went to sleep with the newspaper in my hands and when I woke up I had newsprint all over my face and when I got out of bed I found out that the coffee maker was broken and I couldn't even think clearly enough to get a phonebook to see if anybody would make emergency deliveries and I knew it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At breakfast Lana got a love poem from one mutant stalker and a bouquet from another mutant stalker and a bit of hand from somebody else's stalker (because it wasn't a mutant) and all I got on my police scanner was that somebody had run a yellow light.
I'm going to work at the Daily Planet, I said.
On the bus I won a bet with Pete but I was so desperate for coffee I considered asking if I could kiss anybody who had drunk coffee that morning but Clark wasn't around to kiss and I think one of the guys is a mutant whose entire body swells up and so I'd have gotten smushed.
I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At school Principal Reynolds liked Pete's article about the new locker room lockers better than he liked my story about widespread corruption on the school board. Then when the paper went to the printer it came back without page sixteen and they just said who needs page sixteen. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I could tell because Lionel Luthor said that I'm not his best spy anymore. He said that Dominic Senatori was his best spy and that a temp agency is his second best spy and I was only his third best spy.
I hope you sit on one of the cats' hairballs I said. I hope that when you find that vial again you drop it down a sewer grate and it ends up on the front page of the Daily Planet.
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
That's what it was because after school I went to get a new coffeemaker and they only had a four-cup one and they didn't have a ten-cup one like I wanted but they might have one next week.
Next week, I said, I'm applying at the Daily Planet.
So then I went to the grocery store and Pete was there and he said that the coffee had been infested with meteor mutant bug eggs except for the decaf. He can say that decaf is still coffee but he can't make me believe it.
When I picked up dad at the plant he said that I wasn't supposed to put people on the Wall of Weird without asking but I bet none of them would give me permission. He also said that I shouldn't ask pointed questions about Lana and that I shouldn't try to figure out any dirty secrets about the telephone system but I think I called the Daily Planet.
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
There were bright green beans for dinner and I wasn't too sure about them.
I saw Clark and Lana kissing and I hate Clark and Lana kissing.
I thought I saw a mutant when I was washing my hair and I got shampoo in my eyes and I hadn't done laundry for a while so I had to wear my orange pajamas. I hate my orange pajamas.
When I went to bed Lana wanted to talk and she talked about her dead parents and to keep from telling her to shut up I bit my tongue.
It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Mr. Kent says some days are like that.
Even for people who work at the Daily Planet.
I went to sleep with the newspaper in my hands and when I woke up I had newsprint all over my face and when I got out of bed I found out that the coffee maker was broken and I couldn't even think clearly enough to get a phonebook to see if anybody would make emergency deliveries and I knew it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At breakfast Lana got a love poem from one mutant stalker and a bouquet from another mutant stalker and a bit of hand from somebody else's stalker (because it wasn't a mutant) and all I got on my police scanner was that somebody had run a yellow light.
I'm going to work at the Daily Planet, I said.
On the bus I won a bet with Pete but I was so desperate for coffee I considered asking if I could kiss anybody who had drunk coffee that morning but Clark wasn't around to kiss and I think one of the guys is a mutant whose entire body swells up and so I'd have gotten smushed.
I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
At school Principal Reynolds liked Pete's article about the new locker room lockers better than he liked my story about widespread corruption on the school board. Then when the paper went to the printer it came back without page sixteen and they just said who needs page sixteen. I could tell it was going to be a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
I could tell because Lionel Luthor said that I'm not his best spy anymore. He said that Dominic Senatori was his best spy and that a temp agency is his second best spy and I was only his third best spy.
I hope you sit on one of the cats' hairballs I said. I hope that when you find that vial again you drop it down a sewer grate and it ends up on the front page of the Daily Planet.
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
That's what it was because after school I went to get a new coffeemaker and they only had a four-cup one and they didn't have a ten-cup one like I wanted but they might have one next week.
Next week, I said, I'm applying at the Daily Planet.
So then I went to the grocery store and Pete was there and he said that the coffee had been infested with meteor mutant bug eggs except for the decaf. He can say that decaf is still coffee but he can't make me believe it.
When I picked up dad at the plant he said that I wasn't supposed to put people on the Wall of Weird without asking but I bet none of them would give me permission. He also said that I shouldn't ask pointed questions about Lana and that I shouldn't try to figure out any dirty secrets about the telephone system but I think I called the Daily Planet.
It was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
There were bright green beans for dinner and I wasn't too sure about them.
I saw Clark and Lana kissing and I hate Clark and Lana kissing.
I thought I saw a mutant when I was washing my hair and I got shampoo in my eyes and I hadn't done laundry for a while so I had to wear my orange pajamas. I hate my orange pajamas.
When I went to bed Lana wanted to talk and she talked about her dead parents and to keep from telling her to shut up I bit my tongue.
It has been a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.
Mr. Kent says some days are like that.
Even for people who work at the Daily Planet.