Disclaimer: I do not own nor have I ever owned Dragonball/Z/GT or any of its characters. They belong to Akira Toriyama. I am making no money from writing this.

Author's Notes: I've had this written for over a week. I've had zero free time so I took what little time I had to proof read. I also had to go back and make a minor rewrite or two since there had been some parts I hadn't been all that happy with yet. I don't like posting anything until I'm sure it is done and revised more than once. I hope you enjoy.

Remember to review. Constructive criticism is accepted. If you want to flame me then flame me. I don't really care.

Warnings: Yaoi, Shounen-ai, M/M relationships, Language, Mature humor, Immature humor

Lessons for the Yaoi/Shounen-ai Writer

Raidne the Silent Siren

Lesson: 3

Vegeta stands behind the desk scowling. He doesn't want to be here but he has a point to make. In fact, he won't wait for the class to begin. He turns to the class. Behind him is a chalkboard that reads: Lessons for the Yaoi/Shounen-ai Writer. Underneath that message are the words "No Talking!" and they are underlined several times.

"I'm going to keep this short and to the point," he begins. A foolish student raises her hand. "First rule: No questions. If you interrupt to ask something you will be forcefully removed from the classroom." The hand quickly lowers.

A student in the back says something to the point of Vegeta could remove her anywhere he wanted. The girl in the desk next to her just gives her an odd look.

Vegeta glares at the whispering students. "There will be no talking while I am speaking, or even breathing for that matter. There is nothing that you need to know besides what I'm going to tell you, and there is nothing that you could say that I would find the least bit interesting or would even want to hear."

Everyone in the class is sitting quietly. Each is too afraid to ask what today's lesson is or why they are starting before 5:00 which is the normal time for this class.

"You will listen to everything I say, and you will act on any orders I give you." He suddenly looks very annoyed. He stares at something at the back of the room with loathing.

The students have been sitting with their faces forward obediently and their hands on top of their desks. They were too scared to make any sudden movements. Now that something seems to have captured Vegeta's attention they feel it is safe to turn and see what it is.

There in the corner. A student's hand is raised. All fellow students in her near vicinity quickly try to move their desks a couple of feet away from her without drawing the Prince's attention.

Vegeta just glares at the girl without speaking. A few more desks suddenly begin moving. Each of these desks was originally sitting between Vegeta and this foolish insect of a student. There is now a clear path between the two. The girl looks nervous and lowers her hand but opens her mouth to speak as she does so.

Vegeta's scowl deepens.

"Uh, sir, I thought that this class was supposed to make suggestions and encouragements to writers," she began tentatively.

Vegeta gave her a look that clearly said 'what kind of idiot are you?'. "Do I strike you as the encouraging type?"

"N-no sir."

"Then why in the hell did you interrupt me?"

"Uh…"

"Leave."

The girl's eyes go wide. She looks around the classroom for support from the other students but each of them has found something on the wall, ceiling, floor, or carved into the desks to interest them. She begins to sniffle when no support is forth coming.

"But-"

"Now."

Tears are now streaming down the girl's face as she slowly pulls herself out of her desk to stand.

"Quickly," Vegeta growls as his patience begins to slip. "I don't have all day."

She bolts for the door. Her cries echoing behind her. As the door slams shut, Vegeta turns to the class. "Any other questions?" He scans the terrified faces quickly before returning to his lecture. It is so silent that you could still hear the cries from the now expelled student. No one dared raise their hands again.

*********

In another part of the building, three people sit watching the security monitors in front of them.

"Your dad certainly has a way with the students."

"I just hope he doesn't kill anyone."

"I wonder why he seems angrier than normal?" asks a third voice.

"I haven't the foggiest idea," the first voice replies.

"Juunana…" the second voice says warningly.

"Yes, Trunks?"

"What did you do with those fics about Dad and Gokou?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Remember when you told me that you got rid of them," the third voice says helpfully.

"…Shut up Goten."

**********

Vegeta has continued with his lecture. "I think it goes without saying that if even one of you considers firing any spit and or paper projectiles anywhere near me that it will be the last thing you do." Everyone in the class nods nervously. There are a few girls in the back that are sobbing quietly.

Vegeta stands at the front of the class room for a few moments as he tries to think of anything he has left out. Deciding he'll just eject or blast anyone that tries to bother him, he decides to start today's lecture.

"Today's subject, and the only really important one, is on making realistic couples." He glares at the class. "For starters I am MARRIED to Bulma Briefs. I would never, in this world or the next, be with that imbecile Kakkarotto!" He has uncrossed his arms while speaking. His clenched fists are now straight down his sides. His expression dares anyone to offer herself as a sacrifice to his wrath and contradict him.

The intercom on the wall suddenly crackles to life.

A voice comes out of the speaker. It sets Vegeta into a cold rage. The loyal Juunana fan girls begin to swoon; momentarily forgetting the danger they are still in.

"What about all of the Alternate Universe fics? You know, the ones where Bulma is dead and you're a free man again."

"Both of us are married!" Vegeta begins to shout and glare at the intercom. The sound on the security cameras must have been on because Juunana heard his reply.

"So if neither of you were married you would-"

"Don't worry Dad. I've taken the microphone away from him," says a new voice over the intercom.

"Trunks?" Vegeta looks confused for a moment. "Which one are you?"

"It's Mirai Trunks, Dad."

"Shut him up somehow so I can finish."

"Uh, sure."

"Anyway," he draws the class's attention back to him. They had been looking back and forth between the intercom and their teacher like a crowd at a tennis match. "Try to use common sense, even though I'm sure none of you have any, while writing. For example, if a man is shown dating or married to a woman then if follows that they must be straight…."

**********

In the security room, life goes on.

Mirai Trunks releases the button that allows his voice to be heard in the classroom that his father is teaching in. He then looks over to Juunana who is being held against the wall with Mirai's free hand as a way of keeping the microphone out of his reach.

Juunana smirks at him. "So, what exactly are you going to do to keep my mouth busy?"

Goten looks back and forth between the other two occupants of the room. The stare they are sharing reminds him of the way his father would stare at an all you can eat buffet. He quickly sets the popcorn they had been eating on the floor. He leaves his chair and turns to walk out the door.

Goten then quickly returns to the room and picks up the discarded bowl of popcorn. It wasn't like those two were going to need it. Then he leaves.

As he hears the door close, Mirai Trunks places the mike on the desk next to him and uses the other hand to pull the smirking android to him.

**********

"…for example neither of my sons has dated many girls but that doesn't mean-"

Vegeta's lecture is cut off by sounds coming from the intercom again. The noises were obviously not meant to be heard. Everyone in the room stares at the intercom. Vegeta can actually feel it as all of the blood drains out of his face. Somewhere in the room a pencil falls from nerveless fingers and clinks against the tiles of the floor. No one notices.

"…Trunks…."

Vegeta stares wordlessly at the intercom. Slowly his left eyebrow begins to twitch. It gains speed as a vein in his forehead begins to bulge. No one notices.

He points at the intercom; his finger is shaking from rage. Actually his entire body is shaking from rage. "Keep you filthy hands off of my son, you damn android!"

**********

"Keep you filthy hands off of my son, you damn android!"

In the security room, two pairs of eyes suddenly sprang open and two sets of hands stilled. Both individuals hold very still for a few seconds. Slowly they move their eyes to stare at one of the near by monitors. On it they can see a classroom. In the class room desks are piled and smashed against one wall, as though a giant hand had come through and shoved them aside. The students aren't fairing much better than their desks. Where Vegeta had stood there is just a scorch mark on the floor.

Juunana and Mirai Trunks look at each other again without saying anything. Then they look down at the desk. Juunana had leaned against the button for the microphone. They look at each other again.

They open their mouths at the same time.

"Oh shit."

That was when a nearby wall exploded.

**********

"Trunks?"

"Hmm?" The present day Trunks doesn't look up from where he's pulling out his lunch. Both he and Goten are in his office at Capsule Corp. Trunks is behind his desk and choosing to ignore the paperwork that he had promised his mother he would get to once he had finished with a meeting.

"Remember how I had wanted to tell our families about us?"

"Yeah." Trunks bites into his sandwich.

"I think we can wait longer. In fact, we don't have to tell your father ever."

Trunks just grins as he chews. After swallowing, he asks, "So how much damage was done?"

"You know Armageddon?"

"Yeah?"

"It was worse then that."

Trunks groans. "We just managed to get everything fixed after my fight with Mirai."

Goten suddenly chokes on his own lunch. He eventually manages to swallow. "Fight? You call that a fight?"

"Shut up, Goten."

"I mean, you got your butt handed-"

"You can stop talking at any time." If looks could kill, Goten would have been on a slab. He decides it is time to stop teasing Trunks and finish his lunch.

A few minutes pass in silence.

"There's something I don't get."

Goten throws away a greasy fast food bag. "What?"

"Shouldn't there have been another teacher there with Dad?"

**********

Trunks doesn't know it, but he's right. There should have been another teacher there. I've found out what has happened to that missing teacher. It wasn't easy though. I had to search, pry, blackmail, bribe, and do extensive research into black holes and the chaos theory. When none of those worked, I begged. Baba is a stiff negotiator.

Earlier that very day, Gokou stood staring uncomprehendingly at a letter in his hand. While this wasn't an unusual expression for him, it is still enough to catch the attention of his oldest son who was dropping off his daughter at her grandparents.

"Hey Dad," Gohan said. He had left Pan with his mother so she would be fine for a while. "What's up?"

"Hey Gohan." He turned and smiled at his son. "Guess what. I've been asked to teach a class!"

Gohan just stared at his father for a few moments.

"Teach a class?"

His father nodded.

"You?"

Another nod.

"A martial arts class?" Gohan ventured.

"No."

"Oh," Gohan's expression couldn't possibly get more incredulous.

"Gohan," Gokou looked confused again, "I was wondering if you knew what 'Yaoi' and 'Shounen-ai' were?"

"What?"

"Why is your face turning so red, Gohan?"