Daniel couldn't sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, the image of Andrew Carmichael kissing Janet flashed across his eyelids, and it was driving him insane.
He could hear Janet's steady breathing beside him and knew that she was sound asleep. He didn't know what to think about that. How could she lay there next to him so relaxed and at peace when she was doing what she was doing behind his back? How could she so calmly betray him?
After a couple of hours of sheer torture, Daniel rolled over to face her and propped himself up on one elbow. She had turned onto her back at some point, so he had a good view of her face. She was smiling that small, sweet smile he remembered loving so much not that long ago. Now it only caused him even more pain, knowing that it wasn't him who had put it there.
She sighed in her sleep and moved slightly as though to get more comfortable. Daniel knew these movements well - she was dreaming. A very nice dream by the looks of it. He just hoped it wasn't about who he thought it was.
As he lay there gazing at her, an intense feeling of longing washed over him until he felt like he was about to split in two. He loved her so desperately and needed her so much, but she was slipping away from him. Once she was gone, he knew there was no way he could win her back. He'd just end up all the more heartbroken in the long run, so what use was it to even try?
She sighed again, and her smile grew even sweeter, and finally Daniel just couldn't resist. He slowly lifted himself up and reached an arm over to rest on the other side of the bed so that he was crouching over her. He knew that if she woke up now, it would probably scare her enough that she would throw him out on the spot, but he didn't care. After looking down at her lovingly for a moment or two, he closed his eyes and brushed his lips against hers.
The feeling was heavenly, but he didn't allow himself to push his luck by letting it go on for more than a second. He vaguely remembered stealing the occasional light kiss from her while she slept throughout the course of their relationship, and he never remembered it waking her up. He hoped that would hold true in this case as well.
To his relief, she didn't wake up, but what did happen made him freeze in surprise. As soon as their contact was broken, Janet squirmed a little and parted her lips as if anticipating a deeper kiss.
Daniel didn't know what to do. As much as he longed to kiss her again, he didn't want to participate in her fantasy dream about another man. The thought of that made him shudder. Still, the sight of her lying there so innocent and filled with expectation was almost overwhelming.
His heart pounding and his entire body shaking with his efforts to restrain himself, Daniel hovered over her with his lips almost touching hers. He could feel her breath on his face, and it sent shivers down his spine. He brought one shaking hand up to her cheek, but stopped a hair's breadth away from actually touching her skin. He didn't want to wake her, after all - he didn't want the moment to end.
He lifted his head a little and began to pass his fingertips over her entire face, recommitting every inch of it to his memory, but never once did he allow himself to touch her skin. It became a sort of game as he tried not to miss even one little spot. Every wrinkle, every freckle, and every curve was burned into his mind one by one.
Daniel paused when he got to her mouth. It was still open just a little, and he felt her sigh against his fingers. It made him want to cry.
After a moment of deliberation, he gently pressed his fingertips to her lips, and gasped when her mouth twitched in a tender kiss. "Love you," she breathed.
Daniel balled his hand into a fist and quickly pulled it away from her. "I wish I knew who you were saying that to," he whispered. He slowly rolled back onto his side of the bed, careful not to disturb her, and lay there staring up at the ceiling.
He winced when Janet started sighing and making various other soft, contented sounds. It was obvious that she was dreaming about making love to someone, and it sure as hell wasn't him.
With one last long, wistful glance at the woman he loved, Daniel got up out of bed and quietly left the room. He couldn't stand to lie there listening to that all night. He took his broken heart downstairs and attempted to drown his sorrows in home-baked cookies and the rest of the Indiana Jones movies.
Janet could hear the ocean waves rolling onto the shore somewhere close by, but she didn't open her eyes to see it. The warmth of the sun on her body was so relaxing that she didn't want to move.
She frowned as the warmth suddenly faded and a shadow fell across her eyes, but her disappointment didn't last for long. The feeling of soft, gentle lips pressed against hers made up for the lack of sun anytime. She sighed into his mouth and wrapped her arms around his strong shoulders as the kiss deepened. She felt his fingers caress her face and the skin along the outline of her bathing suit, and she smiled. 'This is perfection,' she thought contentedly. 'I hope this lasts forever.'
The sound of a child's laughter finally broke them apart, and they opened their eyes in time to see their child run towards them with a bucket full of water. Before they could move or react, the child had emptied it all over them and run away.
Daniel laughed and remained crouched over her, dripping wet and cute as a button. "I guess we were asking for that," he said. "Are you okay?"
Janet smiled up at him, her heart threatening to burst with love and happiness. "I'm perfect," she said.
"Yes, you are."
Janet thrilled at these softly spoken words. She fixed her gaze on his mouth, wanting him to kiss her again, but not wanting to move in order to make it happen.
He smiled and leaned down to press his lips briefly against hers. "I love you," he said.
Janet sighed. "I love you." She meant it with her whole heart.
Daniel didn't waste any time then in capturing her mouth again in a long, deep kiss. He lowered his body down onto hers, and she wrapped her arms around him again, stroking his back as he kissed her with such tenderness and passion that it took her breath away. She could hardly believe how wonderful it felt.
"Mommy! Daddy! Look at me!"
Daniel lifted his head and rolled away from her as they both looked over at their child. Janet felt a great sense of loss once she could no longer feel his body pressed against hers, but she couldn't help but smile as he got up and ran off to chase their squealing child into the water.
"Janet!" he called. "Come with us!"
"Oh, what the heck," she muttered to herself, and she got up to follow her family into the waves.
Janet woke up slowly, the wonderful sensations and emotions from her dream still with her even as she opened her eyes. The room was still in darkness, so it wasn't time to get up yet. She was glad of that. More sleep meant more dreams, and if the rest of her dreams were as beautiful as the one she'd just had, she wanted to stay asleep forever.
She rolled over onto her side to face Daniel, but to her great disappointment, he was gone. She reached out a hand to stroke the sheet he had been lying on, and found it was still slightly warm. 'He must have gone to the bathroom or to get a drink of water,' she told herself. She hoped he would come back soon. It surprised her just how much she missed him when she woke up and he wasn't there.
While she waited for him to return, she thought back over the last couple of days. She still hadn't figured out why he had destroyed that picture, but since then things had really been improving. She didn't know what Colonel O'Neill must have said to him while he was there a few days ago, but she was thankful that he had. Daniel was finally starting to act more like himself again, and it made her want to dance for joy.
Even Andrew had started to notice a difference in her over the last couple of days. He'd said as he'd given her a ride home that night that she was looking more relaxed than she had in weeks. She had to agree. Things were finally starting to look up for them again.
Thinking about Drew brought to mind the last thing he had said before she had gotten out of his car to come into the house - "Daniel's a lucky man to have you, Janet. He knew that once, and I'm sure it won't be long before he figures it out again." Then he had leaned forward, kissed her cheek, and added, "Just give him time."
The words had warmed her heart, as she really hadn't thought of their relationship in that way before. She had always felt that she was the lucky one to have found such a wonderful man as Daniel and to have him actually love her and want to be with her. It astounded her at times that Daniel had such strong feelings for her, especially after he'd had such a perfect, though short-lived, marriage with Sha're. It had been quite a surprise to her, though a very welcome one, to find that he had the capacity to love wholly and completely more than once in his lifetime.
"We'll get it back again soon," she whispered as she started to drift off to sleep. "I think we're halfway there."
Cassie and her sacks of cookies left the next morning, as she wanted to get back to the dorm by the evening to watch some kind of game with her friends. Daniel was sorry to see her go so soon. They'd had a fun couple of days together, and he'd missed their old camaraderie.
It didn't help that he could hardly stand to look at Janet. Whenever he did, he found himself looking for signs that she had transferred her affections onto someone else. He almost choked when she mentioned Andrew's name during lunch. It was all he could do to keep himself from hurling his plate at the wall as she prattled on about what they had done together the day before.
He heard her call Sam that morning to ask her to take a look at her car, which was still parked at the SGC as far as he could tell. Inwardly he cursed that damn car. Who knew what Carmichael had gotten up to with Janet during their drive home? He could only hope it was fixed by Monday morning when she would be going back to work.
On top of all of this, Daniel's sleepless night and late night snack of too many cookies had left him feeling rather sick and irritable. He tried not to take it out on Janet, but he could see that she noticed his sudden withdrawal and was disturbed by it. She kept a wary eye on him all day, and by mid-afternoon, it was starting to get on his nerves.
"I'm not going to explode, you know," he said after the tenth time that he looked over at her just in time to see her turn her face away from him. "You don't have to watch me like that."
"Sorry," she said. "You just seem... are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he snapped. He regretted his tone as soon as he'd said it, but he didn't apologize. He just turned away and ignored her until she left the room.
The day grew progressively worse, especially when the phone rang and Daniel answered it. He hadn't answered the phone in weeks, but Janet was in the basement doing a load of laundry, and he was right there in the kitchen anyway.
He paused for a moment when he picked up the receiver, unsure of what to say. He was sure the phone call wouldn't be for him, so saying, "Daniel Jackson," like he would on his office phone wouldn't make much sense. He finally settled on a simple, "Hello?"
"Hello... Daniel?"
Daniel cringed. "Dr. Carmichael," he said through gritted teeth. "What can I do for you?"
"I was just calling to have a quick word with Janet. Is she there?"
"Yes, she's here," Daniel replied, keeping his tone flat and devoid of emotion. "She's busy. Is there a message?"
"Is that for me, Daniel?" Janet asked as she suddenly appeared at Daniel's side.
Daniel turned and gave her a fake smile. "It's Andrew," he said. It came out much more taunting and nasty than he'd meant it to, and he kicked himself when he saw the confused look that passed over Janet's face.
"Thank you," she said, holding her hand out for the receiver.
Daniel slapped it into her hand and marched out of the kitchen. He definitely wasn't in the mood to hear whatever she was going to say to her new boyfriend. He grabbed his jacket and headed out onto the porch instead. It was nearing the end of October by now, though, and it got quite cold as the sun started to set. He had only been out there for about an hour when he got sick of it and went back inside.
The sound of oldies music greeted him as he entered the house. Janet had turned the living room stereo on while she was making dinner, he realized. He remembered that this was her favourite radio station, and that she often used to listen to music while she did housework. She hadn't been able to lately what with him sitting around in front of the television all day every day. He started to feel guilty about this, and as soon as he'd hung up his jacket, he went through to the kitchen to see if she needed any help.
He couldn't help but smile as he came to the doorway and saw her moving about the kitchen swaying her hips in time to the music. She was humming along, too, and until then he'd forgotten what a pretty voice she had. He folded his arms across his chest and leaned his shoulder against the doorway as he watched her, and for that one moment he forgot everything that had happened to push them apart. She was lovely, and he was absolutely smitten with her.
After a moment or two, he noticed that she was getting a bit agitated, looking in first one cupboard and then another and muttering to herself. Without thinking twice, he went over to her to see if he could help her find whatever it was she had lost. She had just bent down to look in one of the lower cupboards when he reached her side, and as he leaned down to speak to her, he laid his hand on the small of her back to prevent her from moving too quickly out of the way.
Little did he know what a grave mistake that would turn out to be. Just as he touched her, she swung her hips again in time to the song that was playing, and Daniel's hand ended up landing a lot farther down than he'd been aiming.
Janet hadn't even known he was there, so the shock of suddenly feeling someone's hand on her bottom was enough to get quite a reaction. She gasped, spun around, and slapped him as hard as she could.
Time seemed to freeze. The two of them stood there staring at each other for what seemed like forever. Daniel's face was numb at first, but soon started to sting. He could almost feel the handprint appearing on his cheek. He didn't say a word, and neither did she. He knew that if he opened his mouth to speak, he would only say things he would end up regretting.
Once the numbness had faded, the anger and humiliation started to overwhelm him, and he knew that if he didn't get as far away from her as possible, pronto, he wouldn't be able to control his actions. Before she could regain her voice to speak, he turned and walked out of the kitchen.
He didn't stop at the living room, and he didn't turn and head up the stairs, he just
kept on walking straight ahead. It barely even registered in his mind as he opened the
front door and stepped outside, but as soon as he heard the door slam behind him, he
started to run and didn't look back.
To be continued...