Disclaimer: DBZ and it's characters do not belong to me. I'm merely borrowing them.

Author's Notes: I know. I know. It's been a while. But don't you feel better knowing that I haven't completely forgotten about you.

Lessons for the Yaoi/Shounen-ai Writer

Raidne the Silent Siren

Lesson: 4

Every student in the class is staring at their two new teachers. None of them could honestly say that they had ever expected to see either of these two cross this room's threshold. Some of the students try not to ogle the taller of the two while others try not to giggle at the blush staining the shorter teacher's cheeks.

Piccolo and Dende stand in front of a black board that reassures any concerned students that they haven't wandered into the wrong classroom. "Lessons for the Yaoi/Shounen-ai Writer" is written on the board. Dende is staring at his feet as though he wishes that the floor would open up and swallow him. Piccolo is glaring at the back wall. The look on his face saying clearly that he will have absolutely no part in what his going on around him.

Dende begins to stammer. "Um...we've been asked...to teach today's class."

Several hands suddenly shoot into the air. Piccolo sighs. "Yes. We are asexual. Yes. You are in the right room."

The hands drop again except for one particular arm that continues to wave around in an agitated manner.

Piccolo groans, "No. We are not open to experimentation and no you may not try to convince us to have that changed."

The arm lowers.

Piccolo seems to think that he's used up his daily allotted words and remains silent. Dende shifts on his feet nervously until he decides his companion has no intention of starting things off.

He stares at the floor as he starts, "You already know where you are so I'll just start off with today's lesson." He blushes brightly and doesn't bother with trying to hide the embarrassed expression he has on his face. "I'm supposed to explain to you how to write a realistic story with an asexual character."

Piccolo gives a snort of disdain.

Dende shoots him an annoyed glance. "Piccolo, if you would like to take over, I would be more than happy to let you."

Piccolo promptly quieted.

"Alright then." Dende pulled out his best stubborn face and did his best to stand as his full height. It didn't do much good since he was standing next to someone like Piccolo. "Does anyone know what asexual means?" A few people raise their hands.

"No one?" The hands begin to wave in the air. "I guess I should just continue then."

Piccolo looks mildly impressed by the rudeness that was just displayed by his height challenged friend.

"Asexual does not just mean that we are not female. It means that we are neither male nor female. We have no sexual organs. Nope. Not a one. Nothing down there. Nadda..."

"I think they get the point," Piccolo growls. There is a visible twitch coming from a vein over his right eyebrow.

A few girls are now wearing strange expressions while the rest are still trying to visibly wrap their minds around that fact that the world's guardian is standing in front of them and talking about yaoi of all things. What does this say about the state of the world?

"The depressing thing is, that this may not be the strangest thing I've ever seen."

"That says something about you."

"Kiss my ass, Juunana."

"Get in line."

"To summarize we are not male or female."

"Yes. We are not capable of those....those......things!" The last word was said in disgust and a flurry of arms by Dende.

Piccolo sighs. This isn't going well.

"I think you catch the gist of everything we were going to teach today, so get lost."

Everyone in the classroom stares at Piccolo. Class has only been in session for maybe five minutes.

"Do I have to call Vegeta!"

The room emptied.

"Well.............do you want to get a drink?" asks Dende.

Goten glances at his watch. Both he and Juunana are in their usual spots in the security room. He curses under her his breath.

"Told you their session would be the shortest," chuckles Juunana.

"Fine. I owe you twenty bucks." Goten gets up to leave. "Seriously though, who would trust Piccolo with any more students. I mean, look at the emotional damage he did to my brother."

Author's Notes: I know it's short. Let's be honest though. Look who the teachers are.