Chapter 11

In the breathless little silence that followed the sudden distraction. Turning away, Buffy blindly shoveled in the chopped vegetables and sautéed them with fierce concentration. When they began to brown, she quickly added the pasta just long enough to heat through, and stirred in a sprinkling of the gated parmesan cheese that she kept in the freezer.

"Just help yourself," she instructed.

"Now sit down," he commanded, when she continued to hover as he helped himself to food. Buffy sat down and then helped herself.

Buffy found herself fighting a losing battle against the growing tension which slowly quieted their aimless conversation. Even when her eyes were lowered to her plate she was aware of every bite that Angel took, every shift of his legs under the table, every dip and tilt of his dark head and flex of his fingers against the glass of iced water, which was all she had to offer him to drink.

"This is delicious!" Angel's sigh of satisfaction forced her to look up to acknowledge his compliment. She watched the fork slide between his lips and the motion of his mouth as he savored the pasta. He chewed slowly, making the process look like a sensual act of erotic satisfaction, and when he washed down his food with a sip of water the sheen of moisture left on his lower lip made Buffy want to lean over and lick it off.

Scared by the twinge of sexual aggression, she flushed when a piece of pasta slipped off her suspended fork and fell back onto her plate, splashing a little of the cheesy sauce onto her forearm. Unthinkingly she scooped it up with her finger and popped it into her mouth, a social mistake that she would never have dreamed of committing if she has been dining with someone else.

She cast an embarrassed look across the table and froze, finger in mouth, at Angel's fiery expression. His eyes were black with arousal as he watched clumsily release her finger. His lips parted and his tongue automatically circled the edge of his mouth.

"Do you know that the pleasure of food is often linked to a sensual nature?" he asked huskily.

"Sorry?"

"I said that appreciation of food is often linked to an appreciation of all things...physical."

The general idea of what he was saying crawled into her head. He stuck his fork into his pasta and looked at her. "You are a very sensual woman, Buffy."

Buffy stared at him, nor quite believing him. She carefully took a deep, steadying breath.

"I don't think we should be having this conversation." she said in a whisper, clearing her throat.

"I'm paying you a compliment, not launching into an argument." He said exasperated.

"Stop it!"

"I know you're used to being complimented by men. Why are you incapable of accepting one from me?" Buffy felt guilty because he sounded genuinely offended.

"Is not that...it's just..." She was desperately seeking for the right words to say, but her brain was a blank slate.

"Or maybe you find it uncomfortable to think of yourself as a woman who might enjoy sex. Was Hank so inhibited when it came to talk of sex?" he pressed on, watching as her face went from pink to white. "Was it something that was never mentioned at home? What is it Buffy...are you ashamed of your body? Of how it feels when you're turned on?"

Buffy was mortified. Why was he doing this? Why was he pushing her to the limit? What did he want her to say? That she liked being touched? That he turned her on? That she couldn't lay eyes on him without every pore in her body going into hypersensitive overdrive.

"I can't go on pretending that nothing is happening between us," he said softly. "Even though. I know that's what you want more than anything else...isn't it?"

"I don't see the point of discussing it." she whispered miserably.

"But it won't go away." He whispered sadly as she got up and left.

Buffy was ready to scream. He was driving her crazy.

Four days later, her uninvited house guest was still firmly ensconced, and Buffy's peace and quiet had been irrevocably shattered. The phone was constantly ringing and Angel was a continuous tornado of activity. If he wasn't sending memos and faxes or conducting conference calls, he was dispatching his self-imposed domestic duties with maddening efficiency or doing some of the needed repairs on the house with tools he took from the garage.

If she escaped to the backyard he forced his presence on her there, too, leafing over reports or pestering her with conversation that was impossible to ignore.

"Don't you ever relax?" she had complained at him on the second evening, when he was once again harassing her to play a game of chess with him. He wouldn't let her lift a finger but he seemed determined to involve her in everything he did.

He looked genuinely surprised. "I am relaxed."

"If this is you relaxed I'd hate to see you exited," she said dryly, and instantly regretted her words when his eyes gleamed with amusement.

"You already have," he reminded her. "And you didn't hate it at all."

She scrunched deeper in the comfy lounge, wishing he didn't look so impossibly sexy in black shorts and a plain white cotton shirt.

"I meant you seem to think you have to fill every waking moment with activity. The only time you rest is when you're sleeping."

He shrugged. "It comes naturally to me. I've worked hard all my life. In fact, this is the closest thing I've had to a holiday for years. Speaking of holidays, what are you planning to do for Thanksgivings?"

She looked at him a little bit suspiciously. "Staying at home, Jenny is coming over. It's the first time I don't have to organize a big party."

"Spend it with me. Let's go to Hawaii."

Buffy glanced up quickly, surprised to see a pleading look on his face. It went so quickly that she might have imagined it, but just for a minute it had been there and it stopped any quick reply.

"I...I don't think it's a good idea...besides as I told you Jenny and I have plans and anyway..."

"And anyway you can think of much better things to do than spending time with me," he finished for her.

"I wasn't going to say that. You just took me by surprise."

"Did I?" he got up and began to pace around, suddenly annoyed. "God! I wish holidays had never been invented. The last two years it's been to your house. Counting the time when I could decently visit your house again without imposing myself into the place."

"I didn't know you like the house that much." Buffy said awkwardly. "No wonder you were happy to buy it."

"I wanted to see you!" he swung back to her with a wild look that changed to curious amusement when she looked back at him a wide-eyed. "I'm obsessive about you, Buffy. Didn't you know?" Her cheeks flooded with color.

"I'm sure Cordelia would have been only too willing to..."

"Stop it, for God's sake!" he came and sat beside her again, he took her hand in his. "I wanted you the moment I first saw you. It doesn't take much for a dream to turn into an obsession. Behaving like a teenager doesn't exactly suit me," he finished with a frown.

"Angel..."

"Don't say no before you've thought about it, Buffy. I'm not asking you to spend Thanksgiving alone with me. Before you came into my life I used to go to Hawaii to get away from it all. My grandmother lives there. You'd like her. She can't live in Ireland because of the weather."

"Grandmother? I didn't know you had any family."

"I have a cousin too. Lindsey, but we don't get along. But my grandmother's a dear. My mother's was an only child and her family was rather wealthy. My father was far beneath her. He came to do some gardening work at my grandparent's house and they met. After that she saw and married him secretly. He took her away from all of them and for a long time they didn't even know I existed."

"How did they found out?" when he spoke of his mother that same old resentment came into his voice.

"When my mother died, I looked for them. I blamed them for lots of things, mostly for not rescuing her. By then there was only my grandmother. She told me the whole story. I've been close to her ever since." He sighed and looked at her intently. "Come with me Wesley and Fred are coming too."

"I'll think about it."

"Jenny is coming as well," he said with a smile, his shoulders relaxing. "I've got her right under my thumb."

"We'll see about that," Buffy said trying to keep the smile off her face, and he looked right into her eyes, lifting her hand to place it against his lips.

"What does it matter? When we're married she can take care of both of us." He stood and moved to the door. "I'll arrange the tickets."

"I haven't said I'll go," she began, but he looked back at her in amusement.

"I know you will."

"When are we going back to work?" she asked trying to wipe the smug satisfaction from his face.

"I spoke to your doctor this morning, according to him you are ready to go back if you want."

"Excellent! Can it be tomorrow?" the prospect of going back to work thrilled her, she needed to occupy her mind and think of something else.

"Sure, it's time we go back to the office."

"Does this mean you'll move out?"

"You don't need me anymore. But I can stay if you want me to." He replied mockingly.

"Very funny."

"I'm a funny guy."

Buffy flew out to Hawaii with Angel two days before Thanksgiving. Jenny had agreed excitedly to the trip. Later, she announced her decision to spend Thanksgiving with her married sister, and from the way she talked about it Buffy could see it had all been planned from the moment she had heard about Hawaii.

Angel just said it was very unfortunate, but his amused looks told Buffy that he had expected it all along. Maybe he had even planned it with Jenny. It seemed that everyone was quite free to follow their wishes, except her.

Now, as she sat beside Angel, she mused about how he had changed her life. She had been cold and withdrawn, quite sure of her hatred and fear of him. It seemed now that her fear was about her own feelings. She was getting used to being swept up into his life.

She knew he was ruthless and had settled on her with a fixed determination. She knew all about his affairs and she knew most certainly that he didn't love her at all. It seemed to be inevitable, though. They were drawn together by an unwilling attraction and they both knew it.

She glanced across at him and he was looking at her with triumph gleaming in his eyes. It had been there since they had boarded the plane, a deep excitement in him that had swept around her almost tangibly.

"How are you feeling?" he looked at her possessively and she as annoyed with herself to find that it thrilled her. She must be going quite mad. She wanted to belong to Angel, to be his possession, his lover, anything.

"I'm feeling fine. You know that anyway. They said I would be back to normal in a week and it's been nearly three weeks already. I can do anything now, apparently."

"I'm glad about that," he murmured wryly and she flushed deeply, looking away from the dark, mocking eyes, not even pretending to misunderstand.

"I hope your grandmother doesn't think I'm intruding." she had to make some sort of ordinary conversation because he was intentionally making the air around them thick with sensuality. With work left behind he was concentrating his whole magnetism on her, and even his looks made her tremble, his dark power swirling around her.

"You're not intruding, Buffy. She's expecting you."

"What have you told her?" she looked across at him with anxious eyes and his eyes quirked.

"I've told her that with any luck you'll marry me," he confessed, looking straight ahead. "I didn't have to promise not to take you to bed at her place. She's too old-fashioned to even give the matter a thought."

"So am I!" Buffy looked out of the window, her cheeks red, and his hand covered hers as it trembled on her lap.

"For what it's worth, so am I," he assured her tenderly. "I don't want to seduce you. I want to marry you. In any case, you're still quite fragile from the surgery."

"I'm not!" she swung her fair golden head round and glared at him. "I'm completely healthy." It was only then that she saw the laughter dancing in his eyes.

"All right. So you want me to seduce you. I'll think about it, but don't hold out too many hopes." He began to laugh softly when she looked at him ferociously and he took her hand again, rising it to his lips with a tender gesture he had never shown before.

"Calm down," he murmured quietly. "I'm teasing."

When she leaned back and tried to obey, her heart beating wildly, he ran his lean fingers on her pulse, testing the rapid, heavy throbbing of her heartbeat in the fragile blue veins, feeling the texture of her skin, and his voice was warm and low when he spoke again.

"You can feel my heartbeat if you like. It's beating just as fast as yours. I really don't know what's happening to me," he confessed wryly. "I like you, Buffy Summers. If I didn't want you so damn much I think I would have you for my best friend."

He couldn't have said anything to please her more and she didn't try to move her hand from his. She loved him and it was no use trying to fool herself. Angel had become the very center of her life and the thought of having him out of her life seemed too depressing to imagine.

A car was waiting for them at the airport, it was a convertible and the soft wind blew Buffy's hair away from her face. She felt carefree, happy and completely at one with Angel, even though he didn't know it.

After a while he drove away from the road and down to a secluded inlet where great rocks towered from a deep blue sea. It was beautiful, breathtakingly so, and Buffy sat spellbound as he stopped the car and sat quietly, letting her enjoy the scene.

"Is your grandmother's house close to the beach?" she turned to him excitedly and he was watching her engrossed face. He only nodded and went on looking at her, not speaking until her questioning looks forced him to say what was on his mind.

"I want you to do something from me, Buffy. You can refuse if you want."

"What is it?" at this moment she felt so close to him that she was taken aback by his uncertainty.

"My grandmother's health isn't too good; that's why she lives here. She wants me to settle down. While we're here I want...I would like..." He hesitated and made a cynical face. "I may as well come right out with it," he muttered in self-disgust. "I want to make her happy. Wear my ring while you're here, Buffy. Let her imagine we're already engaged to be married."

For a minute she just looked at his uncertainty and his unpredicted shyness. It wasn't like Angel to beg.

"If you care about her, how can you let her believe something that's not true?" Not knowing what else to say, she fell back on argument and his face darkened, his eyes flashing with the old anger.

"I intend to marry you anyway. I'm just getting ahead of myself a little. If you don't feel ready to do a small favor, look at it this way. I gave you a fair amount of time for you to learn about the business. I've been fair. You've been ill and I'm prepared to extend the time. All I want in return is a little harmless acting. I want to introduce you as my fiancé."

"Angel! You're talking as if I've already agreed to marry you," Buffy protested.

"All I want is a small favor. What is it, Buffy? Are you scared?"

"I'm not scared! I just don't like lying, for any reason, and you staring to worry me."

"Because you don't trust me." he said flatly.

Tbc...