Confessions of... by DreamerMatrix
A/N:The 10 Commandments
How To Properly Worship The Only True God
First
"I am The Lord your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the
house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me."
Second
"You shall not make for yourself a graven image, or any likeness of anything
that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the
water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I The
Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the
children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate Me, but
showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love Me and keep My
Commandments."
Third
"You shall not take The Name of The Lord your God in vain; for The Lord will not
hold him guiltless who takes His Name in vain."
Fourth
"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all
your work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath to The Lord your God; in it you
shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your manservant, or
your maidservant, or your cattle, or the sojourner who is within your gates; for
in six days The Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them,
and rested the seventh day; therefore The Lord blessed the Sabbath day and
hallowed it."
How To Live In Peace With Humanity:
Fifth
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which
The Lord your God gives you."
Sixth
"You shall not kill."
Seventh
"You shall not commit adultery."
Eighth
"You shall not steal."
Ninth
"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."
Tenth
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's
wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ass, or anything
that is your neighbor's."
(Exodus 20:2-17 RSV)
DISCLAIMER: Firstly, I don't own rights to the Bible. It's not my style. Secondly, I don't own the characters of the Matrix. What follows is a parody, and is written purely to entertain others, not as a money-making serious thing. PLEASE don't sue me, it wouldn't be worth the lawyers' fees. Besides, plagiarism is the highest form of flattery.
A/N 2: No offence to all you truly religious people out there. I have nothing against religion, in general, just so long as it's not aimed at me in particular. I'm an agnostic/athiest type person, and any flames on *that* subject will lead to poisonous frogs... My frogs rule!
A/N 3: Thanks to Blake, who is probably the only person waiting on this fic. But hey, I'm gonna keep going. You can't stop me.
maniacal laughter
A/N 4: Yes, this *is* going at the top of every chapter more maniacal laughter
A/N 5: Technically, this isn't a screenplay, the layout's wrong. But soddit.
--------------------------------------
Black screen. In green text, is the wording 'TO BE CONTINUED IN ANOTHER FANFIC'. Suddenly the lettering goes all Matrix Code-y and is replaced with 'THERE HAS BEEN A TEMPORARY SERVICE FAULT. PLEASE DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET.' Ten minutes later, the letter goes all Matrix Code-y once again, and is replaced with 'OOPS, WRONG CHAPTER.' Another five minutes on, and it changes to 'CONFESSIONS OF... TRINITY'
TRINITY: (VO) What does VO stand for?
NEO: (VO) Voice Over
TRINITY: (VO) Geek
SCREEN WRITER: (VO) *A-hem*
NEO: (VO) Who said anything about sewing?
Smacking sound as SCREEN WRITER hits NEO upside the head.
NEO: (VO) Meep!
SCREEN WRITER: (VO) I'm getting back to my Bacardi Breezer. Get on with it!
FADE TO
Church in the Matrix. Not the church MORPHEUS was in, because that got blown up by NEO. A different church. TRINITY appears out of nowhere, scaring all the people waiting for Confession away. She moves into the Confession Booth.
TRINITY: Forgive me father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession.
PRIEST: It's ok my son-
TRINITY: Daughter!
PRIEST: For give me, it's just...
TRINITY: What?
PRIEST: I thought you were a guy.
TRINITY: Most guys do.
NEO appears out of nowhere and bitch-slaps the PRIEST
NEO: My lines! Hands off!
PRIEST: Meep!
NEO: Oi! I warned you!
PREIST: You didn't hit Morpheus when he meeped in the last chapter.
TRINITY: Yeah, Neo, meeps are universal.
NEO: Dammit.
NEO does his superman thing.
PRIEST: Where were we?... Oh yes. It's OK my daughter, God is all forgiving. How have you sinned?
TRINITY: I'm a thief. And a killer. And I frequently take the Lord's name in vain. Goddammit.
PRIEST: A thief, a killer and a blasphemer? Sorry lady, when you die, you're going to hell.
TRINITY: But I'm Trinity! I'm the One's girlfriend. I can't die! It's in the script for Reloaded, hah! I'm revived by Neo!
MORPHEUS pops his head through the church door. A security scanner bleeps as his sunglasses pass through.
MORPHEUS: Read the script to Revolutions, fool
TRINITY pulls out her copy of Revolutions, flicks through, then stops.
TRINITY: Meep!
MORPHEUS ducks back out of the church.
TRINITY: For what I am about to do, may the Lord God forgive me.
TRINITY pulls out a couple of guns, and runs out of the church
TRINITY: (screaming) Andy and Larry Wachowski! Get your rotten asses out here
The WACHOWSKIS appear. TRINITY shoots them both. NEO appears out of nowhere (again) and stops the bullet.
Wachowskis: Mee...
NEO: What are you doing?
TRINITY: The bastards killed me off!
NEO: No, that was Kid. He hacked their computer and changed the script so he wouldn't get killed off.
TRINITY: OK, they were going to kill *you* off
NEO: But I'll be resurrected in the next Matrix
TRINITY: Hey, Mr Attention-span-of-a-goldfish, you die, but the war ends. No more Matrixes... Matrices... Matri... Aahhh goddammit.
NEO turns on the WACHOWSKIS. They cower.
WACHOWSKIS: *gulp*
NEO: You're gonna kill me off? I'm the star of the films!
WACHOWSKIS: Well, yeah.
NEO lets the bullets fly off again. WACHOWSKIS die.
NEO: Kill off *that*, bitches!
A/N:The 10 Commandments
How To Properly Worship The Only True God
First
"I am The Lord your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the
house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me."
Second
"You shall not make for yourself a graven image, or any likeness of anything
that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the
water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I The
Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the
children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate Me, but
showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love Me and keep My
Commandments."
Third
"You shall not take The Name of The Lord your God in vain; for The Lord will not
hold him guiltless who takes His Name in vain."
Fourth
"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all
your work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath to The Lord your God; in it you
shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your manservant, or
your maidservant, or your cattle, or the sojourner who is within your gates; for
in six days The Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them,
and rested the seventh day; therefore The Lord blessed the Sabbath day and
hallowed it."
How To Live In Peace With Humanity:
Fifth
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which
The Lord your God gives you."
Sixth
"You shall not kill."
Seventh
"You shall not commit adultery."
Eighth
"You shall not steal."
Ninth
"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."
Tenth
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's
wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ass, or anything
that is your neighbor's."
(Exodus 20:2-17 RSV)
DISCLAIMER: Firstly, I don't own rights to the Bible. It's not my style. Secondly, I don't own the characters of the Matrix. What follows is a parody, and is written purely to entertain others, not as a money-making serious thing. PLEASE don't sue me, it wouldn't be worth the lawyers' fees. Besides, plagiarism is the highest form of flattery.
A/N 2: No offence to all you truly religious people out there. I have nothing against religion, in general, just so long as it's not aimed at me in particular. I'm an agnostic/athiest type person, and any flames on *that* subject will lead to poisonous frogs... My frogs rule!
A/N 3: Thanks to Blake, who is probably the only person waiting on this fic. But hey, I'm gonna keep going. You can't stop me.
maniacal laughter
A/N 4: Yes, this *is* going at the top of every chapter more maniacal laughter
A/N 5: Technically, this isn't a screenplay, the layout's wrong. But soddit.
--------------------------------------
Black screen. In green text, is the wording 'TO BE CONTINUED IN ANOTHER FANFIC'. Suddenly the lettering goes all Matrix Code-y and is replaced with 'THERE HAS BEEN A TEMPORARY SERVICE FAULT. PLEASE DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET.' Ten minutes later, the letter goes all Matrix Code-y once again, and is replaced with 'OOPS, WRONG CHAPTER.' Another five minutes on, and it changes to 'CONFESSIONS OF... TRINITY'
TRINITY: (VO) What does VO stand for?
NEO: (VO) Voice Over
TRINITY: (VO) Geek
SCREEN WRITER: (VO) *A-hem*
NEO: (VO) Who said anything about sewing?
Smacking sound as SCREEN WRITER hits NEO upside the head.
NEO: (VO) Meep!
SCREEN WRITER: (VO) I'm getting back to my Bacardi Breezer. Get on with it!
FADE TO
Church in the Matrix. Not the church MORPHEUS was in, because that got blown up by NEO. A different church. TRINITY appears out of nowhere, scaring all the people waiting for Confession away. She moves into the Confession Booth.
TRINITY: Forgive me father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession.
PRIEST: It's ok my son-
TRINITY: Daughter!
PRIEST: For give me, it's just...
TRINITY: What?
PRIEST: I thought you were a guy.
TRINITY: Most guys do.
NEO appears out of nowhere and bitch-slaps the PRIEST
NEO: My lines! Hands off!
PRIEST: Meep!
NEO: Oi! I warned you!
PREIST: You didn't hit Morpheus when he meeped in the last chapter.
TRINITY: Yeah, Neo, meeps are universal.
NEO: Dammit.
NEO does his superman thing.
PRIEST: Where were we?... Oh yes. It's OK my daughter, God is all forgiving. How have you sinned?
TRINITY: I'm a thief. And a killer. And I frequently take the Lord's name in vain. Goddammit.
PRIEST: A thief, a killer and a blasphemer? Sorry lady, when you die, you're going to hell.
TRINITY: But I'm Trinity! I'm the One's girlfriend. I can't die! It's in the script for Reloaded, hah! I'm revived by Neo!
MORPHEUS pops his head through the church door. A security scanner bleeps as his sunglasses pass through.
MORPHEUS: Read the script to Revolutions, fool
TRINITY pulls out her copy of Revolutions, flicks through, then stops.
TRINITY: Meep!
MORPHEUS ducks back out of the church.
TRINITY: For what I am about to do, may the Lord God forgive me.
TRINITY pulls out a couple of guns, and runs out of the church
TRINITY: (screaming) Andy and Larry Wachowski! Get your rotten asses out here
The WACHOWSKIS appear. TRINITY shoots them both. NEO appears out of nowhere (again) and stops the bullet.
Wachowskis: Mee...
NEO: What are you doing?
TRINITY: The bastards killed me off!
NEO: No, that was Kid. He hacked their computer and changed the script so he wouldn't get killed off.
TRINITY: OK, they were going to kill *you* off
NEO: But I'll be resurrected in the next Matrix
TRINITY: Hey, Mr Attention-span-of-a-goldfish, you die, but the war ends. No more Matrixes... Matrices... Matri... Aahhh goddammit.
NEO turns on the WACHOWSKIS. They cower.
WACHOWSKIS: *gulp*
NEO: You're gonna kill me off? I'm the star of the films!
WACHOWSKIS: Well, yeah.
NEO lets the bullets fly off again. WACHOWSKIS die.
NEO: Kill off *that*, bitches!