Confessions of... by DreamerMatrix
A/N:The 10 Commandments
How To Properly Worship The Only True God
First
"I am The Lord your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the
house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me."
Second
"You shall not make for yourself a graven image, or any likeness of anything
that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the
water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I The
Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the
children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate Me, but
showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love Me and keep My
Commandments."
Third
"You shall not take The Name of The Lord your God in vain; for The Lord will not
hold him guiltless who takes His Name in vain."
Fourth
"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all
your work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath to The Lord your God; in it you
shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your manservant, or
your maidservant, or your cattle, or the sojourner who is within your gates; for
in six days The Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them,
and rested the seventh day; therefore The Lord blessed the Sabbath day and
hallowed it."
How To Live In Peace With Humanity:
Fifth
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which
The Lord your God gives you."
Sixth
"You shall not kill."
Seventh
"You shall not commit adultery."
Eighth
"You shall not steal."
Ninth
"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."
Tenth
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's
wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ass, or anything
that is your neighbor's."
(Exodus 20:2-17 RSV)
DISCLAIMER: Firstly, I don't own rights to the Bible. It's not my style. Secondly, I don't own the characters of the Matrix. What follows is a parody, and is written purely to entertain others, not as a money-making serious thing. PLEASE don't sue me, it wouldn't be worth the lawyers' fees. Besides, plagiarism is the highest form of flattery.
A/N 2: No offence to all you truly religious people out there. I have nothing against religion, in general, just so long as it's not aimed at me in particular. I'm an agnostic/athiest type person, and any flames on *that* subject will lead to poisonous frogs... My frogs rule!
A/N 3: Thanks to Blake, who is probably the only person waiting on this fic. But hey, I'm gonna keep going. You can't stop me.
maniacal laughter
--------------------------------------
Black screen. In green text, is the wording 'TO BE CONTINUED IN ANOTHER FANFIC'. Suddenly the lettering goes all Matrix Code-y and is replaced with 'THERE HAS BEEN A TEMPORARY SERVICE FAULT. PLEASE DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET.' Ten minutes later, the letter goes all Matrix Code-y once again, and is replaced with 'CONFESSIONS OF... NEO'. Then it goes code-y again, and is replaced with "YES! HAH, THIRD TIME LUCKY, SUCKERS! FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT! KNOCK KNOCK! *beep beep beep* Screen explodes outwards, to be replaced with yet another church. NEO walks into the church. The PRIEST runs off screaming. NEO's lip starts to tremble.
NEO: I need to cofess! I'm going to DIE in the third movie!
NEO FANGIRL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's *IMPOSSIBLE*
NEO: Not impossible. Inevitable.
(A) SMITH walks in, and replicates the FANGIRL. NEO breathes sigh of relief. SMITH removes his (it's?) sunglasses, and glares at NEO. NEO sticks his tongue out at SMITH.
SMITH: Aren't you afraid?
NEO: Nope.
SMITH intensifies his glare. The air in his sight line starts to frazzle. NEO puts on his sunglasses, and gives SMITH the finger.
NEO: Didn't read the script, didya Shades?
SMITH: No. I lent it to Morpheus when I was torturing him in the last movie. I think *he* lent it to Zee
NEO: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Well, screw you anyway. You can't kill me, because a) this is a fanfic, and b) the third movie hasn't happened yet. So nyah nyah na nyah nyah to you. Now bugger off and let me confess in piece. And take Fangirl Smith with you.
SMITH and FANGIRL SMITH walk out. A PRIEST moves into the confessions booth. NEO follows.
NEO: Forgive me, father for I have sinned. This is my first confession.
PRIEST: I thought you didn't believe in God?
NEO: I don't
PRIEST: So why bother confessing?
NEO: I'm going to *DIE*, goddammit... Aww Christ, you made me break the third commandment, I didn't have that one before. Aww man, I'm gonna burn!
MORPHEUS: (popping head through door) Yeeeeeeeeeessss!
NEO: You get bent! I can kick your cryptic ass!
MORPHEUS runs off. NEO smirks.
PRIEST: OooooooooooKaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
NEO: Yeah... so... I don't believe in God, I take the Lord's name in vain, I frequently kill sleepers, and I stole a mobile phone in the first movie.
ANNOYED READER: (VO) What the *HELL* is a sleeper?
NEO: A pod-person... still plugged in to the Power Plant... hey, I can pronounce capitals! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
PRIEST: My son, you need to get a life.
NEO: I'm gonna *DIE*, no need to rub it in further
PRIEST: Jeez-us, take a chill pill
NEO: Hehe, you just broke the third commandment! Hehe... these chill pills, what colour are they?
PRIEST: Red
NEO: Screw that.
PRIEST: DON'T TEMPT ME, SON OF SATAN!
NEO: (sweatdrops) riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...
NEO slowly backs away from the PRIEST, then turns and runs outside, pulling his cell phone out.
LINK: (over phone) Operator
NEO: Who the *HELL* are you?
LINK: (over phone) I'm the operator of the Nebuchadnezzar
NEO: Since when?
LINK: (over phone) I don't know. But Zion said to tell you that a new type of Agent is masquerading as priests. They call themselves the Anti-Satanists.
NEO: Right... Met them... they suck...
--------------------------------------
Rather like this ending....
A/N:The 10 Commandments
How To Properly Worship The Only True God
First
"I am The Lord your God, Who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the
house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me."
Second
"You shall not make for yourself a graven image, or any likeness of anything
that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the
water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them or serve them; for I The
Lord your God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the
children to the third and the fourth generation of those who hate Me, but
showing steadfast love to thousands of those who love Me and keep My
Commandments."
Third
"You shall not take The Name of The Lord your God in vain; for The Lord will not
hold him guiltless who takes His Name in vain."
Fourth
"Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all
your work; but the seventh day is a Sabbath to The Lord your God; in it you
shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your manservant, or
your maidservant, or your cattle, or the sojourner who is within your gates; for
in six days The Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them,
and rested the seventh day; therefore The Lord blessed the Sabbath day and
hallowed it."
How To Live In Peace With Humanity:
Fifth
"Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land which
The Lord your God gives you."
Sixth
"You shall not kill."
Seventh
"You shall not commit adultery."
Eighth
"You shall not steal."
Ninth
"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor."
Tenth
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's
wife, or his manservant, or his maidservant, or his ox, or his ass, or anything
that is your neighbor's."
(Exodus 20:2-17 RSV)
DISCLAIMER: Firstly, I don't own rights to the Bible. It's not my style. Secondly, I don't own the characters of the Matrix. What follows is a parody, and is written purely to entertain others, not as a money-making serious thing. PLEASE don't sue me, it wouldn't be worth the lawyers' fees. Besides, plagiarism is the highest form of flattery.
A/N 2: No offence to all you truly religious people out there. I have nothing against religion, in general, just so long as it's not aimed at me in particular. I'm an agnostic/athiest type person, and any flames on *that* subject will lead to poisonous frogs... My frogs rule!
A/N 3: Thanks to Blake, who is probably the only person waiting on this fic. But hey, I'm gonna keep going. You can't stop me.
maniacal laughter
--------------------------------------
Black screen. In green text, is the wording 'TO BE CONTINUED IN ANOTHER FANFIC'. Suddenly the lettering goes all Matrix Code-y and is replaced with 'THERE HAS BEEN A TEMPORARY SERVICE FAULT. PLEASE DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET.' Ten minutes later, the letter goes all Matrix Code-y once again, and is replaced with 'CONFESSIONS OF... NEO'. Then it goes code-y again, and is replaced with "YES! HAH, THIRD TIME LUCKY, SUCKERS! FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT! KNOCK KNOCK! *beep beep beep* Screen explodes outwards, to be replaced with yet another church. NEO walks into the church. The PRIEST runs off screaming. NEO's lip starts to tremble.
NEO: I need to cofess! I'm going to DIE in the third movie!
NEO FANGIRL: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That's *IMPOSSIBLE*
NEO: Not impossible. Inevitable.
(A) SMITH walks in, and replicates the FANGIRL. NEO breathes sigh of relief. SMITH removes his (it's?) sunglasses, and glares at NEO. NEO sticks his tongue out at SMITH.
SMITH: Aren't you afraid?
NEO: Nope.
SMITH intensifies his glare. The air in his sight line starts to frazzle. NEO puts on his sunglasses, and gives SMITH the finger.
NEO: Didn't read the script, didya Shades?
SMITH: No. I lent it to Morpheus when I was torturing him in the last movie. I think *he* lent it to Zee
NEO: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Well, screw you anyway. You can't kill me, because a) this is a fanfic, and b) the third movie hasn't happened yet. So nyah nyah na nyah nyah to you. Now bugger off and let me confess in piece. And take Fangirl Smith with you.
SMITH and FANGIRL SMITH walk out. A PRIEST moves into the confessions booth. NEO follows.
NEO: Forgive me, father for I have sinned. This is my first confession.
PRIEST: I thought you didn't believe in God?
NEO: I don't
PRIEST: So why bother confessing?
NEO: I'm going to *DIE*, goddammit... Aww Christ, you made me break the third commandment, I didn't have that one before. Aww man, I'm gonna burn!
MORPHEUS: (popping head through door) Yeeeeeeeeeessss!
NEO: You get bent! I can kick your cryptic ass!
MORPHEUS runs off. NEO smirks.
PRIEST: OooooooooooKaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay...
NEO: Yeah... so... I don't believe in God, I take the Lord's name in vain, I frequently kill sleepers, and I stole a mobile phone in the first movie.
ANNOYED READER: (VO) What the *HELL* is a sleeper?
NEO: A pod-person... still plugged in to the Power Plant... hey, I can pronounce capitals! COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL!
PRIEST: My son, you need to get a life.
NEO: I'm gonna *DIE*, no need to rub it in further
PRIEST: Jeez-us, take a chill pill
NEO: Hehe, you just broke the third commandment! Hehe... these chill pills, what colour are they?
PRIEST: Red
NEO: Screw that.
PRIEST: DON'T TEMPT ME, SON OF SATAN!
NEO: (sweatdrops) riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...
NEO slowly backs away from the PRIEST, then turns and runs outside, pulling his cell phone out.
LINK: (over phone) Operator
NEO: Who the *HELL* are you?
LINK: (over phone) I'm the operator of the Nebuchadnezzar
NEO: Since when?
LINK: (over phone) I don't know. But Zion said to tell you that a new type of Agent is masquerading as priests. They call themselves the Anti-Satanists.
NEO: Right... Met them... they suck...
--------------------------------------
Rather like this ending....