Hey! I was bored and listening to songs one day and thought, "This has Sesshomaru written all over it!" So I spent the rest of the day writing this. Not for Angst haters. Just so you guys don't think Sesshomaru is a hentai spelling? RIN IS 17 IN THIS FIC! This way, I won't get flamed. I don't own this song, for all you idiots who didn't figure that out already. I set it to 'In The End' by Linkin park.
It starts with one thing, I don't know why. It doesn't even matter how hard you try.
Sesshomaru walked up to a small, polished stone underneath the shade of a tree. He had kept the place a secret for years, although he'd been asked many times. He ran his fingers gently over the marble, lightly tracing over the black lettering. It seemed that just yesterday she was right there, picking flowers for him. "Rin..." He thought back to that day. :flashback: Naraku grabbed Sesshomaru's sword right out of it's sheath and threw it backwards, over the cliff and into the abyss below. Sesshomaru was overcome with anger. Sure, he couldn't kill much with it, but it had saved Rin's life before. He heard a cry behind him. Rin was leaning against a tree, bleeding badly. When he turned back around, Naraku was nowhere to be seen. :end flashback: He had done all he could to save her.
Keep that in mind. I designed this rhyme to explain due time. All I know, time is a valuable thing.
Those days they had spent together. Looking back really had meant something to him. Although he would never have admitted to himself. If only...
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings. Watch it count down to the end of the day, the clock ticks life away. It's so unreal.
"In the life of every being, there is a clock. It's counting down to the end." He sighed and looked back down at the gravestone. "That means there is one for me too. It's true. Nothing really can last forever." He remembered Rin in her last moments, frail, weak, and helpless.
You didn't look out below; watch the time go right out the window. Tryin' to hold on, didn't even know. I wasted it all just to watch you go.
He felt like he had wasted his life, passing up the right time whenever it came. She had tried to hold on to life, she hadn't wanted to leave. Sesshomaru could see it in her eyes.
I kept everything inside, and even though I tried, it all fell apart.
All those years, his emotions were bottled up. Even when Rin died, he forced himself not to cry. But now, looking at her grave, he just couldn't take it anymore. He would never see that sweet smile, hear her laughter ever again. He began crying. At one time, he thought it weak, but he didn't care anymore. Tears rolled down his cheeks. Why hadn't he ever told her? His entire body was shaking. In-between sobs he said, "I never told you..." It seemed as if his entire life fell apart, right there at that grave.
What it's meant to be will, eventually, be a memory.
What was there between then was gradually fading into a memory. Like a tale of long ago, disappearing within the folds of time. He knew this, and only cried all the harder.
Of a time, when I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end it doesn't even matter.
The part that hurt the most, was that he knew once he was gone, no one would know about her. This whole struggle didn't even matter.
I had to fall, to lose it all. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
He had lost her. He had lost everything. Sesshomaru continued to cry, letting out the emotion of all those years. The worry, pain, and hurt. He was shaking so hard now it would have appeared to someone else he was extremely cold.
I'm surprised it got so far. Things aren't the way they were before. You wouldn't even recognize me anymore.
Everything was so different now. Rin would have thought it was another person; he was letting his emotions out so freely. He thought for a moment. He had become so attached to this human.
Not that you knew me back then, but it all comes back to me, in the end.
She had never known who he truly was. And she never would. That thought pierced through him like a knife. How could someone even put up with his cold exterior? It came to him again. Rin would never know who he really was. Nothing in the world could have stopped the barrage of tears. It was too much for one youkai to handle.
I've put my trust in you, pushed as far as I can go. For all this there's only one thing you should know...
He remembered her dying words. They had been relentlessly haunting him every day. Rin had looked up at him, her eyes dull and tired, and her face stark white. She looked up into his golden eyes, which for the first time ever, met hers. She whispered the most meaningful thing that he had ever heard in his life. "Sesshomaru, I love you." He had pulled her into an embrace, and only one tear fell. That was nothing compared to how he felt now. He had never said anything back. Sesshomaru desperately tried to regain his composure. As he stood up, a small sakura blossom floated down and landed beside her grave. It was pink at the tips and gradually faded into a white center. He looked once more at her grave before he turned away, marveling for a moment at the small flower. Sesshomaru wiped his eyes and walked backed to where Jaken was. Jaken noticed something strange about this master. It looked as if he had been...crying? He gathered up his courage and asked the question. "Lord Sesshomaru, what's wrong?" "Nothing, I'm fine." The tone in his voice was the kind where you can tell anything you might say would make them cry again, since their voice is already on the brink of tears. "We need to get moving then." Jaken wondered what had been strong enough to bring the Lord of the Western Land to tears. The toad youkai had been told Rin had gone away (he had not been present at the time). Jaken moved on ahead and Sesshomaru looked back in the direction of her grave and whispered, "I love you too Rin."
I tried so hard, and go so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall to lose it all, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.