Buffy was fidgeting as she walked home, Willow and Dawn walking sullenly behind her. What they HELL had the witches seen? What was so terrible that Bella and Willow had both completely wigged out? And why wasn't anyone telling her about it?

The Summers home was dark and quiet when they returned. Dawn set to the kitchen muttering something about chocolate chip cookie dough and microwave popcorn for dinner. Buffy knew that she should suggest something a little more nutritious, but Dawn's menu sounded pretty appealing to her. Willow was still withdrawn. She hadn't said a word since they left Sunnydale High School. Buffy was sure that seeing the powers of the other witch brought back some painful memories for her. And then there was this -- whatever -- Willow and Bella had both seen. It had scared the bejesus out of both of them.

"Will,"she approached her friend tentatively. Willow tried to smile. Tried to put the Slayer's mind at ease. But she was finding that increasingly difficult to do.

"It was... it was the First, wasn't it Will?"

Dawn was busying herself in the kitchen. Buffy could hear the popcorn popping, the pop and fizz of a soda can being opened, baking pans clanging, the refrigerator opening and closing. She was glad Dawn was occupied with making their make-shift dinner.

Willow was thoughtful. The First, well, yeah. Kind of. More like a glimpse into a very desolate future. She'd seen it all. The rising of the ancient ones at Hell's threshhold. There were so many of them; all weathered with age, fangs a gnarling mess across their grey and shining faces. It had made her wonder if this is what Spike would look like if he survived the amount of time that these dispicable creatures had. She'd never really thought about it, but he was a really good-looking vampire. Sexy, even... if she was into that kind of thing. Is that how they'd all started out? Like him?

"It was horrible, Buffy," she suddenly blurted out. "There were hundreds of them... and they all looked like something out of Shadow of the Vampire. Just really ugly, evil, nasty things... and so many. Buffy... I'm really scared. What if magick is the only way to defeat this?"

Buffy could understand Willow's apprehension when it came to magick. Especially big magick. The witch had lost herself to the darkness for a span of time that felt like a lifetime. But Bella was there. Of course, that was why Angel had sent her. Because he knew that Willow needed someone to guide her and to teach her how to responsibly use her magick. It made Buffy think about that line from Spiderman... what was that that Uncle Ben had said? With great power comes great responsibility. Didn't she know that! And what was up with Peter Parker getting a kick-ass costume and the ability to fling webs? She pictured herself wrapped in a black velvet cape and a bustier with BtVS emblazoned across it. What the hell was she thinking? She shook the thought out of her head with a little laugh.

"What? What's so funny?" Willow asked with a curious grin.

"Nothing... just losing my train of thought," Buffy saw herself again. She sure could benefit from Wonder Woman's power bracelets or her invisible jet... "Will, Angel wouldn't have sent Bella unless he knew she could help us, right?"

"Well, yeah. Right. I mean, Angel promosed he'd always take care of you. I guess that's what he's doing."

"Yeah. And if Bella is this big, bad witch... well, she must be here to help you, too. Willow, I don't think she's going to lead you into something that you can't handle. Just be honest with her when you get all weirded out." She tried to sound reassuring. "Willow... what else did you see?"

Willow saw the door in her memory. And she saw through the door as she had when they were in the basement. It had been so vivid. All the ancient ones... they hadn't come out yet, but she could hear all of them. They knew she was there. They were cajoling her. Telling her that her magick couldn't stop them. Telling her that she'd use it and that the consequences would be deadly to her and to her friends. They taunted her addiction. And then she saw Tara. And she'd wanted to go through the door and pull her out. But she heard Bella. Don't open the door. And then Bella was in her head. That isn't Tara. I know how much you want it to be and how real this is, but it is not Tara. And you have to hold onto that no matter how much it hurts. The First will take everything you know and pervert it. Don't let it pull you in, Willow. Bella saw her, too.

"Tara." She said simply to Buffy.

"Tara? What about Tara, Will?" Buffy wanted to know.

"It was Tara. It... well, it wasn't Tara. But it was. So much Tara," the witch's eyes bean to fill with tears. "Oh, Buffy. I saw her. And she told me that we could be together again. But that I would have to turn away from all of my friends. I would have to help them... the ancient ones. The First. But I'd be rewarded. We'd be together again." Willow bowed her head shamefully. "And I believed her... wanted to believe that it was really Tara. I was willing to do what she wanted."

Buffy looked troubled. She knew how much Willow loved Tara. And she knew how much her friend had suffered after Tara's senseless death. She couldn't help but be worried by what Willow had seen.

"Bella... I heard her in my head. She was telling me that it wasn't Tara. That it was the First trying to manipulate me. And I've got to tell you, Buffy. It was working. But Bella kept telling me that I needed to trust my third eye. And then I remembered the anointment and the oil and how she said that it would open my eyes to what was really going on. And it was ugly. It was so ugly and it scared the shit out of me, Buffy. It wasn't Tara. It was so horrible. Bella's right. I need to stay away from the Hellmouth."
Bella sat in the calm of her apartment. Her mother. She'd seen her. Just as she'd seen Tara. She knew how Willow had felt. How tempted she had been to say to Hell with this world. She knew it all too well. And given Willow's past, she was petrified that the witch would do something stupid. That's why she stressed to her that she did not want her to ever go back there again. Oh, sure. The First wouldn't give up. It would come to them over and over. It would come as their worst nightmares. It would come as their greatest wishes. But for Willow Rosenberg, it would come as the very thing that had made her lose herself before, her lover, her friend, her Tara. Bella couldn't afford for Willow to be that close to the Hellmouth. It would be hard enough for her to fight the draw from afar.

She snuggled into the smooth leather of her sofa. What a way to end her first day. And still not done. She knew that the Slayer would be out patrolling that evening. And the others. They apparently helped her. Including the blonde vamp who had been so cagey around her. He must sense what I am, she thought. He must sense that there is something different about me. She rubbed her chin. Spike. He sure was a pretty thing. And just as arduous as Angel had warned. She remembered the tone in Angel's voice as he discussed Spike. William the Bloody, he'd called him at one point. Bella chuckled at that moniker. Great name for a vamp. And then to find out that's what he'd been called when he was alive. William the Bloody, writer of bloody bad poetry.

"Was it really all that bad?" She'd asked Angel, stifling the urge to unload a rising guffaw.

"You have no idea," Angel had told her with an uncharacteristic grin.

She liked Angel. He was on the spot. Told her just enough about each of them; the Slayer, the Witch, the Watcher, the vampire, the sister, the vengeance demon and that boy. Xander. He was even more annoying than Angel had warned.

"He means well," Angel had told her. "But he doesn't have any special powers. He doesn't have Slayer strength. He isn't into witchcraft. His girlfriend used to be a vengenace demon. Anyanka. She's been around for centuries. She comes in handy from time to time. Just don't mention bunnies around her though," Angel warned. Bella hadn't even asked. Didn't want to know about Anya and bunnies.

"So why do they keep him around?" She'd asked.

"Bella, don't you remember having friends?" She hadn't. "Humans, they latch onto each other. For Buffy, he's useful. He's her friend. And he has been helpful. Although I mentioned to her once that he seemed to be more of a hindrance than a help... that didn't go too well. Let's just say that she made it clear that he was not going anywhere."

"And the vampire?" she had asked. She remembered the look on Angel's face as he discussed Spike. No love lost between father and son.

"I sired him," he'd simply stated. "And he'd exceeded my expectations."

She'd noted that this didn't sound like a good thing. Daddy wasn't all that proud of his platinum progeny.

"And now?" she'd asked, trying to suss out more info.

"Now... I don't know," Angel had rubbed his temples. Just the mere thought of Spike being accepted among the Scoobies had made his head hurt.

"He's been implanted with a chip," he'd told her. Explained how the Initiative had basically made him impotent in the vampiric sense.

She remembered that she'd made some comment along the lines of "That sucks... or in his case..."

Angel had laughed a little. Then told her that Spike had become all wrapped up in the Slayer. He'd convinced himself that he was in love with the girl. She could tell that just saying it bothered Angel.

"And the Slayer? She loves this vampire?" She'd asked.

Angel had paused. She thought that the question had caught him off guard. That maybe he had never really given it much thought.

"She doesn't love him. Couldn't love him." He had sounded more hopeful than sure.

"Is he all that bad?" Bella heard herself prying.

"Yeah. Yeah... he's... "

"He's one of us, though, Angel. To say that he's unredeemable is to say that you're unredeemable. That I am. Is that what we're talking about, here?" She had issued a challenge to the older vamp. He had turned it over and over in his head. She could see his face working the thought.

"I guess that's what I'd be saying. And I guess I'd be wrong, right?"

Bella hadn't known. She didn't know this chipped up vamp. All she knew was that Angel wasn't a fan. Not at all.

"He has a soul." She'd thought that she had misheard him.

"Come again?" she asked incredulously.

"He... he has a soul," Angel reiterated. Went to Africa. Battled a demon. Got a soul.

Stupid Vampire. That's what she'd thought when Angel told her and when she had first met him. Yes, indeed. Stupid, stupid beautiful vampire. The soul worked for him. Worked all too well. She felt the spark the moment she laid eyes on him in the Magick Shop. And she had felt something... else.

She pulled the red leather-bound book from her coffee table. It was well- worn from age and from her leafing through it for comfort on numerous occasions. It was Mamma's diary. She loved reading through her mother's memories, recorded in black ink, flowing handwriting.

"Oh, Mamma..." she whispered, fighting back tears of frustration.

She turned to a dog-eared page marked by a frayed satin ribbon. It was one of the last entries her mother had recorded. Just days before Artemius arrived and took her away from this world.

13 June He's near. I can feel him. And I know what must be done. I've made the arrangements. I've spoken with the Grigori. And I've thrown myself on the mercy of TPTB. My life would have meant nothing without Bella. The darkenss would have taken me forever. Not just for a night. Bella saved me. And I have been blessed to have had her for as long as I have. I've made my peace with TPTB. I've done my penance. Done their bidding. And now she belongs to them. They have plans for her. They have a future mapped out for her. And he will be the one to save her. And together they will save the world.

He. He will be the one to save her. Save me. He will save me and together we will save the world.

Artemius had come on her 18th birthday. Just the way Mamma thought he would. And he'd tried to turn her. Killed Mamma. And took Bella's life. Took her choice to live or die. At least he thought that's what he had done. She remembered the look on his face when he realized that she was going to win. She was going to destroy him. And that he had not been able to destroy her. No. She would never let that happen.

And now twenty years she had walked this earth killing him over and over. Killing her own kind. Killing vampires. Her only source of joy. She closed herself off to everyone. Didn't bother to make friends. Made plenty of enemies once word got out that she was hunting vampires for sport. Music and killing. All that really mattered to her.

His soul had screamed to her. Why hadn't Angel had that affect on her? Why hadn't the humans? Why him? He was smug and reckless. He was snarky beyond belief. She knew he was evil at one time. She felt all of the kills in which he had once prided himself. But something else, too. Remorse. Regret. Conflict within him. He, who Angel had sired. He, who had fallen in love with the Slayer. He, who had fought for the missing link; the one thing that had kept her from loving him. And she still didn't love him. She still thought he was beneath her.

From beneath you, it devours.

She heard the words spinning in her head. It would. It would drive them all apart if they couldn't get it together.

She found herself in the kitchen, rifling through cabinets. Such a human thing -- emotional eating. She couldn't help but laugh as she dug out a bag of peanut M&Ms and a bottle of Merlot. She was busy separating colors and sloshing wine straight from the bottle when her cell phone rang.

She pulled it from her pocket wondering who could be calling her. So very few had her number.

"Bella Grimaldi, whaddaya want?"

"Nice to know that Cordelia isn't the only one with stellar phone etiquette," a familiar voice told her. It was Angel.

"And the point of this call?" She wasn't in the mood for joviality. She was beginning to enjoy her deep-blue funk. Didn't need vampy one-liners fucking it all up.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of the coffin this evening..."

"Let's just say I had a not-so-good experience at the door to the Hellmouth. Saw a few hundred of the evil-dead ready to do the First's bidding, saw Mamma and had to convince myself and Willow that neither she nor Tara were really there. Even with the anointing spell... it was pretty rough," she told him, popping a blue M&M into her mouth.

"Anointing spell, huh?" he sounded concerned for her. "You know, Bella, when we discussed this all in person, I thought you understood that this was not going to be easy--"

"Hey, man, I get that, okay? I'm just trying to piece together what I have to do with SunnyHell and these spoiled brats and that snarky-ass vampire."

She heard Angel's laughter, felt his smile through the phone and wanted to stake him for finding this all so amusing.

"So, you've met Spike."

Simply put. Met. Spike. Yes. Wanted to kill him. Wanted to choke him. Wanted to... to... wanted him. What the hell?

"You didn't tell me how difficult he was," she fumbled. Sloshed back more wine. Knocked candy on the floor... green, yellow, blue, red. Dammit!

"Difficult?" She had the feeling Angel was enjoying this a bit.

"Yes, difficult!" She was yelling. "He's a fucking baby! Whines about things he should know better about! He-- He NEVER - -and Angel, I mean NEVER - -shuts up! Know-it-all, smart-alecky pain in my a--"

"He's him."

Him? He's who? Who? Him?

"What the Hell are you talking about, Soul Asylum?" she barked out at him.

"Him. That's all I know Bella. TPTB told me that you were the one who would save the world. You and him. You and--"

"Spike?" she asked incredulously. She sighed heavily. Shook her head. Him. "He's... him."

"Yeah."

"You called me for that, then?" she asked, suddenly feeling very anxious.

"Yes. And no. I wanted to check up on you. Part of the whole working with TPTB thing. They like to make sure things are going as planned. Sounds like you're running right on time. With the Hellmouth too."

Now she really wanted to stake him.

"Hey Angel?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time you and TPTB want to fuck with my life... don't."

Angel sighed. "But isn't it their life to fuck with, Bella?"

She hung up on him. Peaches. Fuck you, too, Peaches.
Bella wasn't sure when she had dozed off, but she awoke with a start to a ringing cell phone. She squinted to see the time. Almost sunrise. Someone sure was an earlier riser. Or a late-nighter.

"Nobody I know would call at this hour," she said.

"I-I'm sorry to call this late... early. Sorry I woke you." It was the Slayer.

"What's up Buffy?"

"Something not real good. I need you at Sunnydale High. You remember how to get here?"

She remembered. Threw on a jacket and ran out the door. Fucking sun threatening to rise at any time. And she was almost there when something jumped out and knocked her off her feet. Not one of them. It was human. It was vile and nasty and human. Trying to rip off her clothes, trying to touch her. And she went into game face. It was automatic. It was her defense against the others. Didn't think about it much.

That's when she heard him scream. Saw his shaking finger pointing at her. Saw... fear. Spike had watched as she vamped out on her assailant. Watched as she'd kicked the man's feet out from under him and smashed his face into the concrete. Watched as she hissed that this was his lucky day, but if she ever saw him again, she'd snap his neck and drain him dry. She stood up, wiped her hands on her jeans and shook off the ickiness that the man -- and the face -- had made her feel.

"Daywalker..." he whispered frantically. "Bloody Daywalker! Knew you were different..."

She growled at him and glared.

"Sun's about to come up, Vampire. Why don't you hide under whatever rock it is you crawled out from before you start to sizzle."

He stepped back from her. He'd never seen one like that, one who could walk in the sun. How could Angel send something so lethal? It would be the death of them all.

"You know what, Spike? You're totally clueless. Just..." she straightened her back and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Just go. You'll have plenty of time to rat me out later."

Spike knew he didn't have a choice. The sun was threatening to break out at any time. He took off hastily muttering that he wouldn't let her hurt them.

Bella shook her head as she watched him leave. Stupid, insolent vampire.

"Sorry to get you out so early!" Buffy's voice startled her.

"It's okay. No big."

"Well, something isn't sitting right, if you know what I mean," Buffy told her. She followed the Slayer toward the school as Buffy told her about the odd noises and smells.

"Rats? Gym lockers?" Bella joked.

"Not even... no, this was really thick. And it was blood. It was so strong that I could smell it."

Bella felt her fangs threaten to show themselves as she walked into Sunnydale High. It was blood. Thick, swarming. It was strong. It was old. Ancient. A smell she recognized as older than Artemius.

"Turok-Han...." she whispered, wide-eyed.

"Chaka Khan?" Buffy questioned.

Bella's eyes were gleaming. Preternatural. Buffy felt a chill creep up her spine.

"Turok-Han," Bella repeated. "AKA one bad mutha... holy shit, it just reeks." She shook her head, trying to erase the scent.

"Sun's about up, Slayer. Do your day job. Let kid sis do the school thing. But NOBODY is to be here after dark. No extra-curricular bullshit that would have them lingering around here. We're talking Uber-Vamp central. And it just isn't time."
Bella wasn't sure how she got there, but she found herself on Giles' doorstep, smoking a pacing frantically. Knock, don't knock. Knock, don't knock. Knock, don't --

The door flew open, Giles in his usual Gilesy tweed and spectacles, brow worried by Bella's nervous presence.

"Well, don't just loiter about, Bella. Come in," he instructed.

She flicked her cigarette and ground it out on his doorstep making a mental note to pick it up and toss it out later. She followed Giles into his apartment. Fried eggs, toast. Human food. The kind Mamma used to make for her on chilly mornings. Smelled good.

"I was just finishing up breakfast. Can I get you a cup of tea? Something to..." he stopped and peered at her, quizzically. "Do you eat?"

She smiled and shook her head. "I'm good, Giles. Thanks. Had some M&M's and Merlot a few hours ago."

He had an uneasy smirk. "I was just rather curious... Spike eats. I mean, he drinks blood, of course, nature of the beast -- of -- " he was afraid he'd offended her, "His nature... but it seems he's always the first one to rummage through the pizza boxes when they arrive." A bit of nervous laughter from the Watcher.

"Yeah... Spike..." Bella sunk into his sofa and rubbed her hands over her face. "Problem, Rupes..."

"Problem, you say?" Giles wasn't sure he wanted to hear this.

"He knows," she told him.

"Knows?"

"Knows, y' know? Knows what you know. Y'know?"

Looked like a teenager. Spoke in those ridiculous circles like a teenager. But had walked he earth nearly as long as he had.

"He saw my game face this morning, Giles. Some asshole jumped out of the bushes at me and started tearing at my clothes and I kneed the fucker in the dabbly-doos and the game face just... it just kinda happened. Does that sometimes when I'm cornered."

"Oh my." About time the Watcher got it. He knew.

"Yeah. And, Dude, he's gonna make a raging stink about it later. He was all stinking of fear and then stinking of ooh-I'm-so-gonna-tell-on-you. Not real mature for one that old, is he?"

Giles chuckled in spite of the situation. No. Spike wasn't known for acting his age. Or even a fifth of his age, at that.

"Bella, dear. Don't worry about Spike. Just... just go get some rest. We'll deal with this later."

Bella was skeptical. "Shouldn't we, like, do some damage control or something? Get to the kiddies before Big Bad goes barging in and blowing steam?"

"Bella... go home. Rest. We'll deal with this later."