Disclaimer: CSI and the song used are both not mine

Spoilers: none

a/n: the song used here is 'Almost over you' in Cath's POV

Chapter sixteen: Almost over you

I saw an old friend of ours today

She asked about you

I didn't quite know what to say

I'm getting a little worried, Lindsey's teacher called me for a parent-teacher conference, and it's not that this is the first time but she looked really serious and worried when I saw her. She went outside to get something which she wanted to show me....

We have just celebrated Lindsey's birthday the other day, all her friends, her cousins, my sister, Sara, Nick, Greg, Jim even Doc Robbins and his wife came by to greet her a happy birthday, and of course the person whose been beside me all along ... Warrick, was there.

Lindsey woke up really early that morning, which didn't seem too strange since it was her birthday so I bet she wanted to look for her birthday present, and as to my surprise she didn't look or even asked me about it. Instead, you know what she did? She sat down beside the phone with enthusiasm and excitement dominating her every time it rings. And every time she puts it down a frown is seen and though there's disappointment illuminating in her eyes there's also hope and expectation and faith.

I tried to ignore it and tried to cheer her up, afternoon came and so did the visitors and she started to cheer up, no longer sitting beside the phone. But night came, everybody left and my dear daughter again sat beside the phone till she fell asleep.

"Sorry to keep you waiting"

"It's okay"

"So, where's Mr. Grissom?"

When Eddie died and even before Gil and I became lovers he has been going here in Lindsey's school. When we were STILL and ONLY friends he only came with me to accompany me on family programs, but when we became MORE than friends he accompanied me with all the parent-teacher conferences which he insisted on going to. Linds of course was just so thrilled to the idea, coz Eddie never went to any parent-teacher conferences.

"Well, um. He's not around"

"Oh well, please tell him I said hi. Anyway, first I wanted to show you this..."

Ms. Andrews handed me an essay paper with Lindsey's handwriting, titled 'Valuable possession'

I really want to read it but something tells me there's more, it's so obvious with her tone.

"Ms. Andrews, is there something else you'd want to tell me?"

"Well, your daughter got into a fight yesterday"

"She did!?"

"And this morning too."

"Why?"

"Well, I was really hoping you could tell me"

Heard you've been making the rounds 'round here

While I've been trying to make tears disappear

And I walk back to my car holding Lindsey's essay paper on my hands. I don't know what to do, I don't even know what's happening to my daughter.

I really think I am the luckiest kid. Aside from having the best mom I also have the best dad any one could ever have. Daddy G isn't really my biological dad, but he still is my dad. Both my daddies loved me so much and I love them too. I've known daddy G ever since I can remember, he's my mom's best friend and now they are a couple, they're not yet married, but they will be. Two months ago daddy G told me he wanted to ask my mom to marry him and was just waiting for the right time. I really think he's gonna ask her when he comes back from Africa. Mom said that daddy G's trip was sudden so he wasn't able to say good-bye. My mom didn't know that I cried coz I wasn't able to see daddy G, but when I opened my bedside table drawer where I keep my diary, there was a letter there. I haven't mentioned it to my mom, anyways the letter was from my daddy G. And that's one of my most valuable possessions. You see I have three, the first one is the music box my daddy gave me before he passed away, the second is the locket my mommy gave me for my 10th birthday which she got from Grandma and of course the letter my daddy G gave me.

This is an excerpt from my daughter's essay. And I've been reading it again and again.

But I still don't know how to react. My daughter adores and loves Gil, an hour ago I decided this would be the day to tell her, but I don't think I can. Not after reading this. And he left her a letter?

Just when I thought I'm already over him.

Now I'm almost over you,

I've almost shook these blues

So when you come back around

After paintin' the town

You'll see, I'm almost over you

No more sleepless nights.

No more heart shattering pain.

No more tears unshed.

No more Gil.

And now as I read this essay, I know I'm reading through my daughter's own feelings, and I know that I lost more than just a boyfriend, more than just a best friend. But I lost one of the greatest foundations of what have kept me going, and that's my family.

Gil is family.

There was no ceremony, no wedding bells, no contract and no ring. But we HAD love, care, understanding, a vow and a silent agreement that he belongs to me and that I belong to him. And that's how it's been for two decades.

And so I know I still am not over him.

But I'll be, I'm almost there.

You're such a sly one with your cold, cold, heart

Maybe leavin' came easy but it tore me apart

As days pass by when little by little I'm getting over him were the same days I see my daughter feeling that loneliness I once felt.

And as I stop my car outside my house, I gather all my strength and courage to be able to talk to my daughter.

"Hey Linds!" I open my daughter's door and greet her with a smile

"Don't you have work?"

Don't you have work? What happened to hi, hello, and I'm glad to see you?

Where's my kiss? And what, not even a smile? What in the world is happening to her, she's been very distant to me lately

"I do, but I wanted to talk to you"

"About what?"

"The fight at school you had."

"It was just a little argument"

"Not according to your teacher, now talk to me Linds" and she glares at me.

"Hey! You don't do that to your mother young lady!!"

And as I look at my daughter, her eyes were almost as furious as mine.

"What the hell is happening to you Linds?"

"I saw you! I saw you!! I saw you!!!" Lindsey screamed at the top of her lungs

"Lindsey..." I don't understand her so I try to hold her but she moves away from me, "Lindsey what are you talking about?"

"I saw you, I saw you that night! You were kissing uncle Warrick! You were kissing him! And that's probably why daddy G didn't call me on my birthday and why he's still not here coz he knows that you're kissing uncle Warrick while he's in Africa!!"

"Lindsey!" I reprimanded my daughter from saying anything more. My God. Did my daughter just accuse me of adultery?

Yes, she did.

"You got mad of my daddy and divorced him coz he was cheating on you, and now you're cheating on daddy G, and if he knows then he'll leave us just like what you did to daddy! And he'll be gone just like daddy!"

I walk over to my daughter, and this time she allows me to hold her as she cry. "Lindsey ..."

"I thought you said you loved daddy G"

"I did"

"And now?"

I don't know if I love him, but I don't think I do, coz frankly, a big part of me hates him.

"Things change sweetheart."

"What do you mean?"

"Well. Linds, Gil and I, are not together anymore"

"Why?"

"It's hard to explain. I'll tell you in another time okay?"

"Can he still be my daddy G even if you're not together?"

I don't think so Linds, how can you if he's with somebody else there in Chicago??

"I don't know"

"Guess, I don't have a daddy again"

"Well, you still have me, and uncle Warrick would always be there for us too."

And my daughter looks at me sternly.

"I already have two daddies I don't think I can make room for him anymore."

"Linds – "

"I'm gonna go brush my teeth now." I watch as my daughter got out of my embrace and headed out to the bathroom.

I know what she thinks I was going to say before she interrupted me, and believe me I wasn't going to say it. I wasn't going to say that Warrick could be her dad, coz I could never say that. I would never say that.

Even in Gil's case, I never told her or even implied that Gil would be her dad, it was her decision, how could she even think that I'm gonna want her to think Warrick is her new dad? Oh jeez, why am I even asking this question when in fact I already know the answer. She hates me, and she hates Warrick, she probably thinks that Warrick is the reason Gil and I broke up.

She adores Gil, she loves him so much and I don't think I could destroy his name. At first I did, thinking he wasn't worthy of my daughter's love when he just left like that, but knowing that he did left something for my daughter, that he did not leave her just like that, without a good-bye ... well it only means he really cares for her.

And no matter what has happened between the two of us I could never deny the fact that he really did loved Lindsey and Lindsey loved him just as much ... just as what I said earlier – family, Gil was family, he was a part of my family.

So tell me, how could I ever destroy the name of the one man my daughter looks up to?

The man she loves so dearly.

The man she has treated like her father ... the man who treated her like she's his own.

Time heals all wounds they say

And I should know

Cause it seems like forever but

I'm letting you go

And as I walk around the lab, thinking of the things that happened earlier, thinking of my daughter and .... her daddy G.

I could definitely say that I'm so over him.

Okay maybe not that over, but almost. I'm almost over him. At night I could sleep soundly, and I could last days without thinking of him, and I guess all I need is to help my daughter with her struggle of this news and both of us could get over it.

I'm not pained anymore, maybe the wounds are already healing, or maybe it's just because all the pain has now been converted to anger.

It took me a while, it took me a very long while, and at last I'm almost over him. I sit and work inside of what used to be his office and now, unlike before, I can no longer smell his scent. Not even the slightest hint of it. Not anymore. Not anymore.

I really am moving on and letting go, but I won't go without my daughter, I'm gonna have to help her through that. Through this.

Now I'm almost over you,

I've almost shook these blues

So when you come back around

After paintin' the town

You'll see, I'm almost over you

I've already packed all the stuff he left in my house ... boxers, shirt, pants, coat, books.... All this things which he left in my house, along with all that he gave me are all inside a box. A box which I hid behind my closet just so that if ever I find anything else I could put it there and when I'm sure it's all there, when all that he owned is there I'm gonna burn it.

When I came back from Chicago and started filling that box, the real reason I couldn't burn it is not because of something I can't place inside, but of something I found hard to get out.

As I said, in that box lies all that he owned, and I had such a hard time getting my heart out from the box, and now that I have, all that's left there are material things, things which I would gladly burn and if given the chance even throw it on his face – now that would be sweet!

I can forgive you and soon I'll forget

All my shattered dreams

Although you left me with nothing to show

All of misery

Maybe I could somehow learn to forgive him.

To forgive him for leaving me

For cheating on me

For looking for another woman

For shattering all my hopes and dreams

For breaking my heart

For putting me through this

For putting my daughter through this.

Someday I'll forgive him for all of this, then I'll forget of all of this. All of this actions and experiences along with the person who has caused it.

I'm gonna forget all about this, all about him. I'm gonna forget him.

I'm almost over him, I'm so near to my goal. Only a few more steps.

Now I'm almost over you,

I've almost shook these blues

So when you come back around

After paintin' the town

You'll see, I'm almost over you

I have been dating Warrick, so you see my love life is on the railway again. But I'm not that serious, and he understands, we take it one day at a time, and no one from the office knows that we're dating. It's far better this way.

Lindsey is my only concern, once I've helped her, I could say that's when I'm really over him.

And that day will come soon. Maybe even sooner than what I think – At least that's how I would like it, the sooner the better!

And when I see him – though I doubt I will and I really hope I won't, I'll tell him,

"You are just someone who I USED to love"

When you come back around

After paintin' the town you'll see

I'm almost over you.

TBC