Disclaimer: I so TOTALLY do not own LOTR, HP or POTC.

A/N: YAY! Someone other than my friends reviewed! Gracias Silverflashpup! Oh, and Legolas is WAY better. And Jack Sparrow has dreadlocks.

Chapter Four: Jenny's Weakness

So Jack's plan had worked. Now all they had to do was figure out a way to stop Jenny Penny from taking over the world. And stop the former S.O.L.F.s from cloning Legolas. For there can only be one Legolas. And he is MINE.

"No he's not!"

Shut up Katherine.

"Yeah Katherine, he doesn't like blondes."

"Uh, Jen, he is blonde."

"Oh, what do you know, Jenna?"

GUYS, SHUT UP! I am trying to write a story here!

"Yeah, and besides, you guys can have Leggy, I think I'll have Jeremy Sumpter."

"WHAT? You'd rather have Jeremy than Leggy?"

"Um...yeah. He's closer to my age, so we wouldn't be breaking the law. Unlike someone I know..."

Stop giving me that look Hanna. You're just mad cause I nanced off into the distance with the hottest elf of them all. Besides, I age faster than him, so when I'm 27 we can so totally get married.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! He's mine!"

"Back off Jen, he will be mine!"

Oh gah, this is getting annoying.

BACK TO THE STORY...

"Okay, so what're we supposed to do now?" Amanda asked.

"Uh..."

"You mean there's no part two to your plan?"

"Not yet."

"Well, if we're not doing anything dashingly brave at the moment..." Adrienne then went back to making out with Draco.

"Since do we do stuff that is dashingly brave?"

"On a Monday, I am waiting...by Tuesday, I am fading, and by Wednesday, I can't sleep..." Frodo sang.

"ARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!" Jenny Penny dropped her knees and covered her ears.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH....It seems like I can finally rest my head on something real...I like the way that feels...."

"MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!!" Jenny was now rolling around on the floor, and her leg was twitching.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...It's as if you know me better than I ever knew myself...I love how you can tell....all the pieces...pieces...pieces of me!"

Suddenly, a lightbulb appeared above Michelle's head.

"QUICK! Grab the Ring!"

Amanda did a fancy back flip and grabbed the Ring from Jenny. They all ran out the door, just as Jenny started to recover.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO! Come back here with my ring!!!!!"

"NO! It's mine...my preciousss!"

Meanwhile....

"WOOT WOOT!" Gimli shouted, "We got the ring!" Gimli did a jig.

"Stop it Gimli, you're rather frightening when you dance." Hermione said.

"Hey you guys," Frodo said, "You know what I just noticed?"

"What?"

"That song, Pieces of Me, has A LOT of different meanings."

"How so?" Ron asked, seeming very interested.

"Like the part where she says, 'I like the way that feels'-"

"We are SO not getting into that now." Diana interrupted, "I don't like Ashlee Simpson."

"WHAT?" said Frodo, in utter bewilderment. His mouth was hanging open. "She's awesome and mad hott!"

"Uh...no." Hayley said, "Anyway, we need to get these guys home so they can destroy the Ring."

"Right...How're we going to do that?"

"Oh, I know!"

Orlando sat across from a heavily bandaged Kate Bosworth. He had been to very many therapy sessions after the little...incident a couple of weeks ago.

"Hmmmr frmmmro mmmmgh!"

"I can't understand you Kate," Orlando said, "The bandages are muffling your voice."

"Hmmmmmrgh!!!!" Kate lifted a bandaged hand and pointed behind the hottest man of them all.

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" Orlando cried fell off his chair. "It's YOU!"

"Yup, it me!" Diana said. "We need to...HEY! What crap is SHE doing here?!!"

"Uh...she...I..."

Diana rolled up her sleeves and made an attempt to duff the she-devil up, but Aragorn and Legolas held her back. Diana struggled for a moment until she realized that she was in the arms of two of the hottest men in the Lord of the Rings.

"Yeah," Lydia said, "We need to use your portal to Middle Earth to get these guys home."

"Why did they come back in the first place?" 'Lando asked.

"Well, Jenny Penny-"

"The Jell-O lover?"

"Yeah, she took the Ring from Frodo, and almost took over the world. But we got the ring back from her, so now we have to go back and destroy it."

"Um...sure. I guess you guys already know where my room is."

"Thanks a bunch!" So they all hopped along. Literally. They hopped.

And Diana gave Kate the evil eye.

"Okay..." Hayley opened the underwear drawer. In it was the portal to Middle Earth.

"Are you sure this is it?" Anne asked.

"Well, DUH!" Diana sighed and smacked her forehead, "There's only a sign that says, 'PORTAL TO MIDDLE EARTH! RIGHT THIS WAY!'"

"What...?"Anne pondered for a minute, "OH."

"Blondes..."

"I HEARD THAT!"

They all jumped through the portal and landed on the hard marble ground in Minas Tirith.

"What the...whoa. We're in Gondor!" Hayley said, stating the obvious. It was then that they noticed the millions of orcs and uruks surrounding the city. But strangely, they didn't attack.

"Why aren't they attacking?" Candi asked.

"Cause we're still on Time-Out." Frodo answered.

"Oh."

"Okay," said Diana, "I think we should all split up..."

Woot woot! Fourth chappie done and over with! I would've updated sooner, but I got distracted by school and the grasshoppers.