Disclaimer: Harry Potter, Hogwarts, or anything that has ever been mentioned in the Harry Potter books does not belong to me. I would like to own them, and make billions of dollars every year, but the only thing in this story that is mine is my plot, if you can call it one. I am simply one of those very sad people who obsess over something that isn't real. So please, don't sue me, all I have that is of any value is a cello and a computer. Thank you for your time

Chapter 5

The Date

Sirius Black

Remus Lupin

Peter Pettigrew

8 o'clock AM, The Great Hall

Padfoot, remind me again why we are stalking James and Lily on their date?

Because we must know what is going on. And you know as well as I do that Prongs isn't going to tell us anything interesting.

So?

I MUST HAVE BLACKMAIL!

Dear lord, you should be locked up in a padded cell.

I was. I escaped.

Why are we writing everything down rather than talking.

So that James can't hear us talking, and understand that he's being followed. How idiotic are you?

I resent that!

Tough. Also, we must record for the sake of posterity! When a munchkin James comes along, he must learn of his parents' first date.

Sirius, shut up. Lily's here.

I MUST RECORD! What's going on?

She gave him a hug, and kissed him on the cheek. Now they're walking out of the great hall with their arms around each other. It's very sweet.

That is so heartwarmingly cheesy that the cheese melted and I drowned in it.

Padfoot, do you ever get tired of that joke?

No.

Well, for the sake of the rest of us, please pretend like you have gotten tired of it.

Why?

Because the joke is dead. I'm serious

You can't be Sirius. I'm Sirius. You're Remus.

THAT JOKE IS DEAD TOO!

Wow, you're cranky. Is it that time of the month?

I don't get it.

Wormtail, Padfoot, shut up. We have to get to the statue of that hump back witch. They're probably already at Hogsmeade.

Well, why didn't you say so? Let us move onward.

10 o'clock AM, Honeydukes

They're being really boring.

They're on a first date. Of course they are going to be boring compared to your standards.

Is that an insult?

It's simply pointing out that you don't have real dates. You have snogging sessions.

True. But they don't have to be boring.

I give up.

12 o'clock PM, The Three Broomsticks

I'm hungry. Let's get something to eat.

NO!

Why not?

Because then Prongs would see us, know that we were following him, and all hell would break loose.

Oh. Well, It's not like it would matter. They're not doing anything interesting. They're just talking.

Wormtail, my idiotic nonentityish friend, this is interesting.

Why?

Because for the past seven years Lily has refused to acknowledge Prongs's existence in any way, shape, or form. Therefore, a miracle has occurred, and we must record.

Exactly. So, however boring it may seem to be, we must continue to watch. Perhaps we will learn something.

But it's Prongs.

True. Alright, never mind what I just said. But I'm a bit hungry too. Think anyone would mind if we ate Wormie?

Doubt it.

HEY!

But, it would be a bit unappetizing. Not enough muscle. Too much fat. Fat isn't tasty. Fat tastes like orcs.

Huh?

Muggle book. You actually can learn things by reading. Where you aware of that, Padfoot?

Read? In my spare time? Of my own free will? Banish the thought!

And now I know why you are failing History of Magic.

Oh, shut up. Anyway, so we can't eat Wormtail, and we can't go get food. That's a depressing thought. No food. Oh, wait a second. WE HAVE CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLATE MEANS SUGAR!

NO, PADFOOT, DON'T DO IT!

Too late.

SIRIUS, STOP SPINNING!

Why?

Because you're going to make yourself throw up.

No, I'm not.

Fine, then you're going to make ME throw up.

So?

Fine. I give up. Get up you guys, The Couple have left the building.

OH GOODY! Let's be quick like bunnies!

What if we can't be quick like bunnies?

THEN MOONY EATS YOU!

No more sugar for you. Ever.

5 o'clock PM, The Great Hall

And so we have wasted a day watching the boring couple of Lily and Jamsie. A day when I could have gone to the astronomy tower with my new flavor of the week.

Don't you mean flavor of the day?

Yeah, that works too. But still, what on earth has happened to Prongs. He's not being himself. HE'S BEING SENSITIVE!

Yeah, well, Sensitivity got him a date with Lily Evans, the girl of his dreams. Maybe you'd like to try sometimes.

Are you implying something?

Two words. Anna, Smith.

I DO NOT LIKE HER! I COULD NEVER LIKE HER! How did you find out?

Your journal.

YOU READ THROUGH MY PERSONAL THINGS!

You do that with my stuff.

So? You're unimportant.

Now, I'm getting offended. You're mistaking me for the worm.

Terribly sorry old chap. I shan't do it again.

My God. Are they… snogging?

I do believe they are, Moony, old chap. I can't believe it. My Prongsie-Wongsie is growing up. We must record this for posterity's sake.

We are already recording it for posterity's sake. But, in all honesty, today was a very significant day. James spent an entire day with Lily Evans without getting yelled at or hexed. They do seem to be made for each other after all. Now, if only Prongs can keep her. I have a feeling he's going to have a difficult time. A very difficult time indeed.

TBC

OH, MORE CLICHES! WE LOVE CLICHES!

Massive snaps go to…..GryffindorGoddess28! She gave me the idea of the date stalking thing in her review, so YEAH FOR YOU!

AND I KNOW THIS CHAPTER ISN'T EXACTLY NOTES! I THINK IT COUNTS THOUGH, SO EEEP!

Now, go review. Please. It would mean so much to me, and it only takes a few seconds. I'll accept anything, but I prefer compliments (who doesn't) and constructive criticism. If you want to flame, I can't really stop you, but I will flame you back, and it will be bad. (If you doubt me, go back and read the response to sapphire beauty in the chapter two author's note.) If it's some grammatical error, then tell it to me nicely, please. You can just say, "You did this wrong, here's how to fix it," and you don't need to go on about how stupid I am. I get enough of that at school.

Now, to answer everyone who did review-

MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus- Thanks

phred da phish – OMG! I was there term 2 also! What class were you in? Ands, though it is very sad, Lily will find out about the bet. James isn't that lucky. The question is, who will inform her?

SilverCrystal Thorns0 Thanks. I try very hard to make it comical. But please, don't laugh your head off. If you did, then you wouldn't be able to review, and that would be very sad.

Jen Riddle- Wooden spoon. Ought to keep that in mind.

Hikaru- Oh, yes, lets! And then we shall force feed him to MINIATURE DONKEYS!

GryffindorGoddess28- Your review doesn't suck at all! In fact, I should probably make you my plot advisor or something. You came up with the greatest suggestions. I had thought of some of them, but your stalker idea was brilliant. And I love moony too. Except he was claimed by a friend of mine. Sigh

EmeraldEyedEvans- Well, then Chapter 11 should be up. And I have had sugar now, because I had a smoothie. I love smoothies.

Danu3- Thanks

allie – Thanks

Maya- I need it back now. Hand it over. And I liked that reference too. And it was sad. DIE, EVIL RAT!

makoto-47- My heart bleeds buttermilk. And I have impossible homework every day, so I say blah to you. And I feeled loved that you have forgiven me.

The Sweet New Zealander- YAY! I FEEL LOVED! OH SO LOVED!

So, since I have heard that the human brain doesn't comprehend something until the fourth time. REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW! REVIEW!

Later,

Sally