Part 2
I woke up the next morning in exactly the same position I had fallen asleep, on my side, gripping the bed tightly. Unravelling my fingers from the cold metal, which had now sapped my hand of warmth, I sat up slowly, the physical aches and pains returning with a flourish, a second before the emotional ones did. The cuts on my fists because of beating the walls stung, as did my rubbed wrists and ankles. My head pounded with fatigue as I slithered off the bed to make the best of the bathroom. It wasn't too bad, a little grimy, but then what wasn't in this place? I washed my cuts, wincing as they smarted under the hot water in the shower. I had no clothes except those I was wearing and I reluctantly pulled them on as I heard the sound of soft, cat-like footsteps in the first room. Walking out, I saw Malfoy had brought in a plate of food, and was placing it on the dresser. "Sleep alright Granger?" he said turning around, "not that I care whether you've slept or even if you starved to death, but you wouldn't be much use to me dead". I walked over to the bed and started to straighten the covers.
"Why do you want me anyway?" I asked more boldly than I felt, realising that this was the first time I had spoken to him, "why me of all people"?
"For someone who was top of the year every year you're pretty stupid" he said, looking slightly surprised as he leant casually against the wall, his arms folded.
"Well why?" I asked again.
"You're Potter's best friend right? Well you have to be now Weasley is dead; so, by stumbling onto you in that corridor I figured the best way to get Potter was to lure him here by using you, instead of one of his other room-mates. I figured he'd go to any lengths to save his remaining friends, seeing as your house was burnt down yesterday in an attempt to kill Weasley. I suppose the fact that I'm going to kill you, and that your parents were in the house too was just an added bonus. Four less Muggles, Mudbloods and Blood Traitors in the world".
He smiled that cocky, sure-of-himself smile, and I felt a new emotion burn through me like fire. This wasn't sadness, grief or denial. This was hate and anger as I'd never known it before. I lunged at Malfoy ready to kick him right where it hurt and slap him senseless, when he whipped out his arm with a lightning speed reflex to block my slap. The force of his block caught me off guard and I fell backwards to the floor, hitting my head on the bedstead. My head span with the pain and my eyes blurred with blood and tears as I steadied myself up onto one hand. I could see him leaning over me, standing, a thin towering figure sneering down at me. "You bastard" I whispered.
He kicked me hard in the stomach and left.
I walked away from the room and turned left and right out of the maze. Pretty soon I reached the entrance hall again, and to my annoyance saw two very unwelcome visitors standing and talking in low voices. I strode over and they turned in shock as they realised I was standing there.
"Bloody hell Draco, you're really quiet, I didn't know you were so close", said the dark haired man smiling.
"Well it pays to be on your guard Macnair", I said coldly turning to the other man "next time it could be a member of Dumbledore's Army".
He gave me a glare and stalked away into a room at the opposite side of the hall.
When I was sure he had gone, I faced the man in front of me, meeting his cold, steely eyes with my equally frosty stare.
"There's no need to look like that Draco", he said, a smirk playing about his mouth "you look unhappy to see me".
"Fucking hell, unhappy doesn't cut" I spat, "you said you'd leave me to do at least one thing by myself this year, I'm not at Hogwarts anymore".
The slight smile that he had been toying with vanished as he flicked a blond hair away from his face. "This is not just something Draco" he said dangerously, "it's the pinnacle of the whole bloody operation we've been working on for a year, you get to do the practical side, just because you need a bit of practice".
I sighed angrily, "A bit of practice? Have I not proved countless times that I'm capable of anything you and the rest of this sorry section do"?
I faced him again, my eyes angry, mouth spitting words of frustration.
"I have murdered 3 people up to date, exploded two buildings, committed arson and executed a perfectly planned kidnapping; and all of this was in the last 24 hours! Why can't you just leave me alone for a change, to my own devices, to make my own decisions"?
I knew as soon as I had said the last part that I had shot myself in the foot. He stopped looking simply annoyed and gave me a threatening glare.
"You've really asked for it now haven't you Draco"? he said softly bringing his face near mine. I didn't flinch once or step backwards. He wasn't going to get me. Not this time.
"Let you make your own decisions Draco" he said sarcastically, moving his face and looking thoughtfully around, "leave you to your own devices, yes that worked perfectly well last time. Didn't it"?
I just stood there, expressionless, anger no longer colouring my face.
"How many times must you be reminded of this Draco"? he continued, beginning to walk around me, circling me like some vicious bird of prey.
I stared straight ahead, afraid that the slightest show of emotion would cause him to snap.
There was silence as he stood behind me. I could feel his glare as I stared at the opposite wall.
Then, without warning, his arm came down sharply towards the back of my head, and the impact threw me forwards onto the floor. I landed face down banging my lip and tasted blood, cat like agility, dignity and superiority gone in an instance.
Turning around, still crouched on the floor, I saw him advancing on me where I was sprawled, huddled to the mosaic floor. He stood imperiously above me and looked down at my bloodied face with an expression of pure loathing. "I 'm not coming down to your level Draco, and neither are you coming up to mine" he whispered dangerously "just learn the lesson from there".
I was quiet for a moment, wondering whether to agitate this already livid man.
"I already have" I whispered, "why do you insist I learn it over and over again"?
He seemed to go rigid at the fact that I still dared to breathe, let alone speak in his presence. Raising his wand from his side he bellowed "Crucio"!
The pain erupted through my body like fire. Bursting through every cell in my body, it soared through the nerves, arteries and blood, ridding my body of all emotion except the destruction and dehumanisation it hunted to spread...this unbearable pain...that I had felt so many times before.
The physical pain swept through my body every time I moved. The aftermath of the Cruciatus Curse always left me drained of energy and will power. I could not resist it much, although I had thrown it off a couple of times. The strength of the Unforgivable Curses are at their most powerful when fuelled by pure hatred, and I had never thrown off that curse from my father in my life. Which says a great deal about how he feels about me.
But the emotional pain, now that was something a hot bath and hot chocolate couldn't even come close to curing. If the Cruciatus Curse was painful, then I doubt anyone, including me could survive what I felt every single day of my life. Guilt, sorrow, grief, love and undying passion was too much for one person to feel, day after day, month after month, for a whole year. The burden of feeling, what makes us human, the driving life force fights to unleash itself from the automatism I have spun around myself. Suppressing it only makes it stronger, ignoring it only makes me remember more. Memories that come flooding back melt my stony exterior and penetrate my infinite depths, where no one else but her has reached before.
The reality of the emotion that had caught me off guard, swept me away into a world I had never experienced, one that was abrupt, that fell sharply from beneath my feet just as I had acknowledged it.
The love swallowed me whole, like a burning flame consumes a matchstick, leaving a pure black charred stick, which at the slightest force, crumbles into a million pieces of ash.
Every time, without fail, after I have been put through this physical pain, thoughts come rushing like a streaking flame into my mind. Every small thing about her that I have locked into a small section of my heart and mind, tucked away into an infinitesimal package, bound with iron chains melts just like ice on a hot summers day. This is the one time when my guard is down completely, and not even the tasks that await me can put me in the frame of mind required for a soldier, the one thing I pride myself on. Time passes again, and I know that he knows. Every time he does this to me, he wants to see how long it will take before I can get a grip on myself. He blames me completely for my mistake, and by subjecting me to torture he thinks I'll forget her. I blame myself anyway, I always have.
I couldn't believe it when I found out what a stupid mistake I had made.
How much love had blinded me, I can only measure by the consequences of those mistakes.
I'm missing Harry and Ron. It's been almost two weeks now, and the only person I've spoken to is Malfoy. I'm going mad from it, because I have no idea of anything anymore. I don't know where I am, who else is here, or how long I'm going to be here for. My mind is one giant turmoil, a mixture of emotions rolling around in my body, and I've spent so long trying to decipher my mixed up feelings over Ron. I know its only been two weeks since he, well, died, but I've realised I did love him. It's such a strange thing, love, confusing and so powerful. I was worried that I had wasted two years of my life loving him, and was responsible for his death, but I now know that even though he's gone, I'm glad he was here. I loved him so much and although it took me this long to figure out, I know I'll always have feelings for him as more than a friend, but being my rational self, I have to get over him. The pain is sometimes unbearable when I think of him, but logic always resumes when it does. All I can now think is that I'm glad I loved him, and he loved me, because I'll never forget him, whatever happens.
I walked up to her room with the tray of food, my muscles nearly giving way to the pain as I did so. Memories were still fresh in my mind and the last thing I wanted to do was to bring this food to that stupid girl. I placed the tray on the floor and went through the procedure of entering the room. As I sealed the door behind me again I noticed that she was asleep on the bed. She sometimes was when I brought up dinner, but this time it seemed her rest was less disturbed and more peaceful. After setting the tray down on the dresser I turned to poke her roughly awake with my wand, but stopped when I saw her face. The smooth pale face was slightly thinner than the last time I had seen her this closely, and her eyes were closed, lost in peaceful slumber. Her chest rose and fell with each breath and with a sharp intake of breath I remembered another girl who had lain asleep on a bed like this one, so peacefully...
It must have been 15 minutes before I snapped out of my daydream. I turned around quickly to leave, but she had woken up and the last thing I wanted to do was talk, so I hurried to the door and started to open it.
"Thank you".
I ignored her and turned around to try and reopen the door but with a panic realised that it wouldn't. While I was lost in the midst of my daydream the time lock had sealed it and being the idiot that I was I hadn't even noticed. I cursed loudly and kicked the wall.
"What's the matter"? she asked quietly.
I didn't answer but slid down the wall and put my head in my hands. I don't believe this, fucking hell, I'm going to be stuck here for twelve hours with her.
"Why aren't you leaving"?
"Because" I yelled, raising my head angrily, and indicating the wall behind me, "the bloody door has sealed, and I'm going to be stuck here with you all night"!
She merely slid off the bed and put half of the food I had brought her on the floor next to me.
"I thought you might-"
But I snapped before she had finished.
"I don't want it"! I shouted slamming it at the opposite wall, "I'm too bloody pissed off with the fact that...that, I'll be here for so long, with you of all people. A Mudblood. Fucking hell I'd rather be stuck here with Potter".
She lay down on the bed and stared at the ceiling.
I stared straight ahead, back against the wall, legs spread out in front of me.
I looked at the magical timepiece on my wrist after the silence became unbearable, and saw with utter disbelief that only an hour had gone by since I had first entered the room. I was too high on emotion, I wanted to smash something, wanted to run as far as I could, away from everything that haunted me.
"Why the hell are you so hostile"? came a quiet voice from the bed.
I jumped slightly, forgetting that she was still here, and stared out into the meagre light cast around the room by the dusty old lamp on the bedside.
"What"? I said crossly, annoyed that she had spoken.
"Why are you so hostile"? she repeated stubbornly sitting up on the bed and facing me.
I could only see the vague outline of her face in the gloomy light, but was irritated by her presence just the same.
"Why do you care anyway"? I snapped.
"Well" she said getting up and walking towards me, "I don't. But I figured that since we'll be here for the next 11 hours we'd better talk or one of us will go mad".
"You already are", I said turning away from her.
"Why can't you just answer my question"?
"Why should I"?
"Well unless you're seriously cowardly, I think you should. I mean whatever you say will stay with me what, two weeks max until you kill me too"?
I turned to face her, and was startled to see that she had seated herself right next to me.
"If it shuts you up I'll talk" I said, sighing heavily.
"Deal" she said hugging her knees.
What do I say? The last person I would have thought on this Earth is asking me about my feelings, and I've never spilt this out to anyone. No one bothered asking me what was wrong or why I had become increasingly vindictive over the past two years. Now here is Hermione Granger sitting next to me, shit next to me? I slid away from her, disgusted I had come so close to a Mudblood, though she looked thoroughly unruffled at this. I guess it wouldn't hurt to use her as an outlet for the bottled up emotions I was harbouring, it wasn't like she'd live long to tell the tale anyway. And it would pass the time I suppose.
"Ok Granger" I said hugging my own knees and giving her a cold look, "you asked for it".