Title – Illusions of Grandeur
Author – Jaclyn Riker
Rating – PG
Keywords – R/T & a bit o' P/C for luck
Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were mine. Never gonna be mine. Cause if they were mine the wedding (in Nemesis) would have happened a LONG time ago. Nuff said. Hope you don't sue me.
Summary – Takes place about a year after A Child's Lead (You should read that before this one). All is not well in Imzadi Paradise leading to an event that shocks everyone.
Note: This is in response to a request a couple people on the list made about having some angst. Hope you enjoy...please give feedback.
"Illusions of Grandeur"
By Jaclyn Riker
"Kalila Marie Riker, show yourself this instant!" Counselor Deanna Troi- Riker called out into the dark room. Stepping into the ship's Ten-Forward, she and Beverly Picard exchanged a look. "Your turn."
"Felisa Yvette Picard, don't make me call your father!" Beverly threatened and a soft giggle floated out from behind the bar area followed by a shushing noise. Deanna and Beverly exchanged another look and Beverly pointed for Deanna to go one way while she went the other. Deanna nodded and on the count of three they pounced.
"Got you!" Beverly yelled as they jumped around the bar, but were completely stumped when they found none back there.
"Damn! Where did could they have gone?" Deanna asked placing her hands on her hips.
"I have no idea, but if anyone knows this ship inside and out it is our daughters." Beverly said and Deanna reluctantly agreed.
"I'm gonna kill him." Deanna said moments later and Beverly raised her eyebrow at the other woman's statement. Deanna frowned and said, "My husband. I'm going to kill him."
"This was his idea?" Beverly asked and Deanna shrugged.
"Not directly, but close enough. And I quote: 'The conference is taking place on the Enterprise anyway. It will be good for you and Lily to see all your old friends. How much trouble could she get into in five days?' End quote." Deanna said and bit back a grin at Beverly's small laugh.
"Well let's see. So far, Lissa and Lily have made the warp engine trail be three different colors: purple, green, and Jean-Luc's personal favorite, hot pink. Then they somehow made all the replicators put Klingon hot spices in each food that was replicated."
"I still don't know how they thought that they could put into chocolate fudge cake and not get caught." Deanna said shaking her head.
"Especially with you on board." Beverly said and pretended to ignore the glare that Deanna shot her way. "Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, there was somehow changing every code to the senior officer's quarters, then there was the gathering of the children on the holodeck and locking out all command voices but theirs."
"Lily's to be exact." Deanna interrupted once more and Beverly acquiesced to that one.
"And now they have managed to sneak out of their rooms at 0100 in the morning and play hide and seek on the ship." Beverly finished.
"Our daughters have been very busy for only being together for three and a half days." Deanna said and sighing sank down into one of the bar stools.
"So how have you been? It's been so long. There was your wedding to Will and then the Betazoid ceremony and then came Christmas. That was almost 7 months ago. I haven't seen you since then. Not in person anyway." Beverly said, her voice slightly accusing. She too sat down on a bar stool, both women deciding to rest for a bit.
"I know, Beverly and I'm sorry." Deanna apologized softly placing her hand over top Beverly's hand. "It took a while to get used to being on the Legacy and then we were in different sectors of the galaxy."
"I understand. Really, I do. Just don't make it so long in between visits next time." Beverly told her and squeezing Deanna's hand. Releasing it, she brushed her loose auburn hair behind her ear and smiled warmly at the woman she thought of as her sister. "So how has marriage and motherhood been treating you?"
"Marriage is wonderful. Will is so attentive and honestly cares about everything I say. We are so in tune with each other it scares me sometimes. The bond between us was always strong, but now..." Deanna trailed off, her eyes shining and her voice happy.
"I know." Beverly said and Deanna focused again on her friend's face.
"Yes, I believe you do. If anyone out there understands what Will and I have, it's you and Jean-Luc." Deanna said and after giving her a smile, Beverly frowned.
"Deanna, you didn't answer the other part of my question. How's motherhood?" Deanna was quiet and bit her lip, carefully thinking out her answer. Beverly leaned forward and called her name softly. Deanna looked up and Beverly saw the conflict in her eyes. "Deanna, what's wrong?"
"Oh Beverly, everything was so perfect in the beginning. The three of us were so close and Lily seemed so happy. About a month ago, Will and I began to discuss special schooling for her. You know that she is highly intelligent, to the point of being gifted. She can learn a concept almost as fast as you teach it to her and what's more, loves to learn."
"Yes, I remember how advanced she was in school here during the months that Will...when he was gone." Beverly said and Deanna nodded, brushing aside Beverly's slip when alluding to when he had "died".
"Data ended up giving her private lessons in his spare time. She has a million questions in her head and once you answer one, another pops out." Deanna's voice held the tone of an extremely proud parent and Beverly smiled inside. Deanna eyes turned painful and took on a sheen of tears. Beverly knew it must be serious to drive her friend to cry. "Anyway, I heard about this amazing school on Thoreta 2 for young children like her. I told Will about it and he liked the idea. So, without telling her we sent a communication to the school for more information and they sent us back a program about a small trial stay. Will and I agreed that we should check it out, especially with this difficult three-week mission ahead of us. While we are gone, she could go to the school and if she liked it, she would stay. But until we were sure about our decision, we decided not to mention it to her. Only about a week ago..."
"She found out, didn't she?" Beverly asked and Deanna nodded slowly.
"I have never seen or felt so much hurt from her before. It was as if we had betrayed her in some way. We tried to explain to her that it was only temporary, but she was so angry." Deanna said, shaking her head.
"Is she still angry?" Beverly asked and Deanna nodded.
"It's not obvious to others, because she is never disrespectful and still shows some affection. At least, towards Will."
"It's you she mad at? Why?" Beverly asked, sliding down from the stool. Deanna followed her and shrugged.
"I don't know. She won't tell me and she is blocking me from her mind. She is very good at that. As if she had Betazoid blood in her." Deanna told her and Beverly motioned for them to take one last look around the room. Deanna nodded and silently they wandered in between tables and chairs. Suddenly Beverly stopped and motioned Deanna over to where she stood about 3 feet away. Sure enough, underneath one of the tables, lay Lissa and Lily. They were both sleeping soundly, with Lissa laying half on top on Lily. Beverly bent down and carefully shifted them so they fell apart and she hefted Lissa into her arms. Deanna bent down and did the same to Lily, then the two women left Ten-Forward.
At Jean-Luc and Beverly's quarters, Deanna stopped to say goodnight. Deanna shifted so Lily was closer to her, but by doing this Lily woke abruptly. Her head flew up from Deanna's shoulder and with wide eyes she looked around at her surroundings. Beverly watched closely as Deanna talked softly to Lily.
"Hey, Little One. Don't you think you should sleep in your own bed?" Deanna said softly and Lily's eyes met hers. The child smiled warmly at her for a moment and Deanna's heart expanded at the feel of love coming from her. Suddenly, a cloud formed in Lily's eyes and the feeling disappeared, leaving an empty ache inside of the empath.
"I can walk, thank you." Lily said and slid out of Deanna's arms, landing on the ground before she could say a word. The newly turned six year old looked up at Beverly and smiled at her with the love that she had seconds ago shown Deanna so freely.
"We didn't mean to upset you. Liss and I wanted to see the stars pass while in complete darkness and this was the only time we could." Lily told her, placing her hand on Beverly's leg. "I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?"
"Yes, but next time, please tell us when you want to do something like this again. Maybe we can all see it together. Why don't you ask your mom?" Beverly said, hoping to somehow draw Lily's attention to Deanna.
At the mention of Deanna, the child frowned and said coolly, "That won't be necessary. We have all ready seen it now."
Lily yawned slightly and Beverly didn't say anything although it was pretty obvious that it was faked. The child looked into Beverly's eyes and smiled.
"I am very tired, Aunt Beverly. I am going to go to bed now. Goodnight. I love you."
"I love you too." Beverly echoed and Lily blew her a kiss, and then headed to the end of the hallway where their guest quarters where located. It was pretty obvious, now, how Lily didn't even seem to acknowledge Deanna's presence. The child spoke the door command and disappeared into the room, without a glance back or waiting for Deanna.
"I see what you mean." Beverly said and Deanna lowered her gaze to the ground, tears threatening to fall. "Deanna, I think you should talk to her. Make her tell you what is wrong."
"I know. I'll do it tomorrow." Deanna said, knowing inside that she wouldn't be able to put it off any longer. "Goodnight Beverly."
"Goodnight, Deanna." Beverly said and they kissed cheeks. Deanna walked down the hall, her flowing pink silk pajamas making a soft swish as she moved. Beverly watched Deanna brush a tear from her cheek before entering her quarters and she heard the door close behind her hurting friend. Frowning, Beverly finally entered her own quarters and settled Lissa into her bed.
What could make a child who loved her mother as much as Lily loved Deanna, suddenly go so cold? Brushing a kiss onto Lissa's head, Beverly prayed that she wouldn't ever find out. She wasn't an empath but even she could see the soul-tearing effect it was happening to her best friend.