Disclaimer: See part 1

"Illusions of Grandeur"
By Jaclyn Riker

A week passed by slowly for the people onboard the Enterprise. Jean-Luc had insisted that Will and Deanna stay on board and neither had been in any condition to object. Will had gotten past the grief and moved into the stage of anger and determination. He drove himself harder than ever before, trying to come up with a way to find Lily. Jean-Luc and Beverly were worried about him, but the one who worried them all was Deanna.

She had withdrawn into herself as soon as she had awoken from the sedative, calling out for Lily. Will had tried to explain what had happened, but she had just kept on calling out for her "Little One". After finally getting through to her, she had stooped speaking all together. She wouldn't talk to anyone, not even to Will through their telepathic bond. Deanna barely ate and even then it had to be forced by either Will or Beverly. She was already starting to lose weight and that worried be a lot. The worst part was that Deanna would lie on the bedroom with the lights at 50%, holding Lily's teddy bear to her chest. Her eyes would be open, but unseeing. They forever seemed to have the shine of unshed tears in them although she never cried. Not after that first day had she shown any emotion whatsoever.

It was a week to the day that Q had taken Lily away when Beverly decided that she couldn't take it anymore. Late in the afternoon, after enlisting the help of Will and her own husband, she strode into the dim room and stood directly in front of Deanna.

"Computer, lights to 100%." She ordered loudly. Deanna cringed and closed her eyes as the machine obeyed. Beverly placed her hands on her hips and stared down at her listless friend. Throwing a glance at her the men behind her she motioned for them to help.

"Time to get up, Counselor." Jean-Luc said cheerfully and then after a moment's thought spoke again. "I'll tell you what I'll do. I'm going to go replicate us all some hot chocolate and some of my grandmother's croissants."

Beverly gave him a loving smile and he put his hand on her arm as he walked out into the living room. Will knew it was his turn and gazed down at the broken woman on the bed.

"Dee, honey, you have to get up." Will told her, brushing a lock of hair away from her pale face. He tried to probe her mind, but she resisted him even in her weakened state.

"Why?" Came her voice, raw and scratchy from not being in use, but full of pain. Beverly and Will exchanged a glance with each other and then one with Jean-Luc, who had come to stand in the doorway again.

"Because you aren't helping Lily by just laying there." Beverly said, hoping to get a reaction by mentioning the child's name. And did she ever get one. Deanna's eyes shot open to pin her friend down with an angry glare. She sat up slowly in the bed, her eyes becoming focused for the first time in a week.

"Leave me alone, Beverly." Deanna said in a low voice that was easily interpreted as "back off". It was that was rarely heard from the calm and patient woman before them. Beverly's eyes widened at the tone, but raised her chin and shook her head.

"I can't do that Deanna. I'm your friend and that's what friends do." Beverly told her, smiling softly. "I feel your pain, Deanna, and I know you're hurting. We all are, but..."

"You don't know anything." Deanna interrupted her, causing all of their eyes to widen.

"Deanna..." Will said, but she rose from the bed, ignoring him completely.

"Where is your daughter, Doctor?" Deanna asked, advancing on her slowly like a predator with its prey. Beverly backed up slightly at the look in her eyes. Deanna reiterated her question, just as much force in her voice. "Where is she, Beverly?"

"She..." Beverly started, her voice soft, but then it firmed. "She is in the schoolroom."

"I see." Deanna whispered, nodding her head and then said, "Do you know where my daughter is, Beverly?"

"Deanna, please don't do this." Will said to her, touching her shoulder, but she angrily shook him off.

"No, of course you don't. No one does." Deanna answered her own question. "Your daughter is safe and sound, not more than 100 meters from your touch at this very moment. My daughter is out there somewhere quite possibly 100 million light years from mine."

Deanna swung her arm out in the general vicinity of the window, never taking her eyes off of Beverly's stunned face.

"I have no idea whether she is ever coming back to us or if she even thinks about us anymore. Does she even remember what home looks like? Does she cry because she isn't with us? These are things I may never know the answers to, Beverly. While you can watch your daughter grow up, I may never see mine again." Deanna said harshly, advancing towards Beverly with each sentence.

She had backed her out of the bedroom and into the living room with Jean-Luc and Will watching and following her closely. Finally Will grabbed a hold of her arm so that she didn't back Beverly up into the sharp corner of the dining table.

"So don't you tell me that you 'feel my pain'. Gods forbid that you ever have to experience what I feel." Deanna finished and Beverly couldn't meet her eyes. Deanna ripped her arm out of Will's grip and stalked away to stand in front of the view hole.

"I think we'd better go." Jean-Luc told Will, who nodded in agreement. Jean-Luc wrapped his arm around Beverly's shoulder and started to lead her out.

"Beverly, I'm sorry." Will said and she squeezed his arm as she passed. The doors shut with a soft "swish" sound and Will turned to where Deanna was still fuming by the window.

"Deanna, how could you say those things to Beverly? She was just trying to help." Will asked her, walking to stand close to her.

"I don't want or need her help. Or her pity." Deanna retorted hotly, refusing to look at him.

"It isn't pity. She cares about you very much." Will tried to argue, but she cut him off.

"Do you think I can't feel it, Will? I thought that you would be able to feel it too. Or are you too busy enjoying the sympathy you are getting from people to notice the other things?" Deanna threw at him and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. He grabbed her roughly by the shoulders and spun her around to look at him.

"Deanna, I was raised never to hit a woman, especially one's wife, but if you were a man you wouldn't be standing at the moment." Will seethed, angrier than he had even been with her. "Don't ever tell me that I am enjoying having my daughter stolen from me! I would die a thousand deaths to have our daughter back in her own bed, where she belongs, but I can't do that. All I can do is to try and figure out a way to find her, which is more than you've been doing."

The slap that Deanna gave him across his face sounded through the room followed by a gasp of realization of what she had just said and done.

"Oh, Gods, Will." Deanna whispered, her body shaking and tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

She reached up and gently caressed the red handprint that was now appearing on his cheek. Suddenly her knees buckled and Will's anger quickly evaporated as he helped her down to the ground. Gut wrenching sobs came from her mouth and the instant he wrapped his arms around her body, she tried to bury herself into his chest. He just held her as she cried and sent her all of the love and strength he could, knowing he could do no more than that. All of the pain and anger that had been kept inside her this past week, now escaped her body in the from of never-ending tears. Deanna's small frame shook without the force of her cries, Lily's name rolling of her tongue in a language only a heartbroken parent could understand.

It was a very long time before Will heard no noise coming from his wife. He looked down at her and smiled softly when he saw that she had worn herself out from crying. He could feel the occasional shudder still run through her body as he lifted her up into his arms to carry her into the bedroom. Will placed her down gently onto the mattress and he knew that things would not be like they were when she woke up. Kissing her on the lips softly, he stripped down and took a quick shower. Then he climbed into bed and pulled her back to spoon into him, which she did instinctively. Seconds later he was in as deep of a slumber as Deanna.

Morning came and they talked about what had happened the night before. Deanna decided that she needed to go back to work to help take her mind off of Lily. Will agreed wholeheartedly and after a nice breakfast together, he headed for the bridge, while she called Ensign Tenorre. The young woman had just recently acquired a fear of heights, but the reason was unknown. Deanna scheduled her as her first appointment and within the hour, her day had been booked. However before any of that happened, there was one person in particular that Deanna needed to see.

Walking into sickbay, Deanna looked around for Beverly. Alyssa saw her and pointed towards the office without a word. Deanna nodded her thanks and taking a deep breath headed for the door. She knocked on the frame of the door and Beverly looked up from her computer, visibly surprised by the sight of Deanna. The auburn haired doctor rose, coming around the desk to stand in front of it, but moved no further. Beverly watched her with cautious eyes and Deanna flinched, knowing she had put the caution there.

"Beverly, I..." Deanna began, her voice soft and guilt ridden. "I don't know if I can ever say or do anything to make up for the things I said to you yesterday. Just know that I am truly sorry and that I hope you can forgive me."

Deanna had turned to go when she heard her name called softly. She turned back around and saw Beverly shake her head.

"There's nothing to forgive." Beverly said and held out her arms. Deanna gave her a waterlogged smile and fell into them, holding tightly to the woman she considered her sister.

TBC