Part 5
Draco didn't want himself to make a mistake. He knew it would happen, but that didn't change his thoughts on the mistake itself. Whoever had told him that he would learn and change from his mistakes wasn't wrong. He did not care for the consequences.
Through the nights of anguished mental confusion he had deduced this one fact.
That he was in love.
Slytherin's most eligible young man had never felt this way before and this was what made him so sure that this was much more than pure lust.
He knew enough to not let such a thing slip by him. He knew her. The foundations of friendship had been built.
As for her being a Muggle, Draco selectively chose to ignore that fact, knowing full well that it would be violently revisited.
Draco often sat alone when he needed to contemplate. It was the best thing for a troubled man. Or boy. He lingered between the two, not really sure where he should belong, or even what his duties and responsibilities were anymore. The inevitability of it was something Draco had always anticipated, but never prepared for, and now that it had, quite suddenly, fallen upon him, he wanted to experience it.
The snow swirled outside in a great vortex of flakes and head leaned on the glass, Draco stared into the white on black. Life on death. The confusion of each individual snowflake on the inky night sky, his disbelief that each one is actually different. A different combination of molecules to make each one different. Some to melt on his hand as he opened the window, some to sweep into his room, others to swirl around him and entice him to jump, right into that whirling mass.
A soft knock on the portrait awoke him and he jumped off the ledge near the window and back into his warm room. Hands and feet frozen he went to open the door, hoping it was Cameron, wishing that it wouldn't be.
Cameron stood there, hands behind her back, eyes straining to look up at him, although he was the one weighing them down. She stepped in and he didn't stop her. It was simple really, he thought sitting on an armchair and indicating that she should do the same. He would explain simply, that he loved her. That was why he had told her to leave. He loved her too.
"Draco I'm sorry" she said looking him straight in the eye from where she stood opposite him, almost silhouetted against the blaze of flames that rose in the fireplace behind her.
What inadequacy filled that statement, and he could see that clearly from her eyes.
"It doesn't matter Cameron. Do you know why? Nothing matters anymore. Because I've broken all the rules. I'm in love with you. So go ahead and reject me. Because I'm too cruel and lonely and inhuman to have a relationship. Just leave me alone and-"
He was stopped, because in reply Cameron kissed his lips with such fervour and passion Draco could do nothing except kiss her back.
He also realised the inadequacy of clothes.