A/N: Well folks I'm fresh out of ideas for my other story, so I'm doing this one-shot fic. Cause I'm bored. Well here it is. When you read the pickle lines on pickle use sharp p's and k's for pickle

Disclaimer: You must have rocks for brains I don't own it.

Chapter 1: Ti-pickle life.

Ring, ring.

"Hey honey another morning." Said a farmer named Bill. There was no response. "Hello?" He said as he walked outside. He looked over at his garden where the hens and the pigs were still sleeping. He saw the ugliest thing in his life. Then he said.

"That's the largest cucumber I ever saw, it would get a grand-prize at the fair." It was about 6'2 and was really really fat.

"IM A PICKLE AND YOU BETTER FIX ME OR I'LL DIVORSE YOU!" It said.

"Ahhhhhh, evil giant pickle, hed for the hills."

Draco Malfoy was watching this snickering. I can't believe that, idiots. He thought.

"Well, on to the next one." He said. Same results every time people screaming and Harry going to the houses that had been hit.

"Well, how did you become this cucumber?" A reporter asked.

"I'm-a-PICKLE." "And I was talking to my daughter when I was turned in to a pickle." It said. "Don't know how don't really care as long as I'm changed back, so that's all I know." Harry came right then and changed her back to a human and modified their memories and apparated to the next and so on.

"Ah, mudblood's house." Draco said. And sure enough there was a sign there saying Granger's. (She isn't married yet.) He went in and with effort He kept yelling.

"PICKLE PERFECTION!" But she dodged and blocked. "Finally," He said. He got her.

Hermione's POV: Crap, I'm a freaking pickle. Hermione thought.

Why's Harry here, wait he's arresting Malfoy. Yes.

"Could you change me back Harry, I'm starting to feel clammy and I'm getting warts.?" I said.

"Oh, sorry." He said. And he changed me back. "Oops, yeah your still green, sorry. "Let's try again." "Ok." "Now we got it."

Back at the farm.

"Ahhh, its still coming, run." "Evil, evil pickle. "And its offspring, run." One large pickle bouncing after him, and five small pickles bouncing after him.

"Hed for the hills." Bill said. "They're coming, they're coming. He ran fifty miles then the pickles pined him down.

Finally Harry came and turned the pickles back to normal and modified their memory.

Well folks that was the end of this one-shot, ok. Well what do you think you better tell don't be to harsh though.