Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's Note: Here's the next chapter, there's only one left after this one. It's been a really long run, but hopefully I'll get it out by the time The OC premieres. I have some stories that I've been playing around in my head, but I don't know if I'll be able to get them down because I've been so busy with school lately. I hope you enjoy this chapter, one of my favorite Ben Folds (sticking with the theme of the story) songs is in it. And the song that goes with this chapter is Dare You to Move by Switchfoot Please keep reviewing, and thanks to those who have been faithfully reviewing from the beginning.

Still Fighting It

Chapter 11: the luckiest

Welcome to the fallout

Welcome to resistance

The tension is here, the tension is here

Between who you are, and who you could be

Between how it is, and how it should be

Dare you to move

--Switchfoot

"That was awesome Seth, we couldn't have asked for a better performance. That was tight! Now go out there and do your encore!" Marc was practically jumping up and down, he was giddy. Seth could already see the dollar signs bouncing around in his eyes.

"Well, Newport, I hate to say this but this is going to be the last song I do tonight. It was great having you all here, and I hope to be back here really soon on tour. Thank you all so much for making this night so special for me and Jimmy. This was really special for me to come back home and perform in front of such a wonderful crowd. I think you all know this next song, so sing along with me. Thanks again." He sat on the piano bench and paused to look out at his family before starting to play. This whole trip back to Newport had been a complete whirlwind, but it had really allowed him to grow and understand everything in his life a little more.

I don't get many things right the first time

In fact, I am told that a lot

Now I know all the wrong turns

And stumbles and falls brought me here

Where was I before the day

That I first saw your lovely face?

Now I see it, everyday

And I know that I am…I am…

I am the luckiest

What if I'd been born fifty years before you

In a house, on the street where you live?

Maybe I'd be outside while you passed on your bike

Would I know?

And then oh, I'd see your eyes

I'd see one pair that I'd recognize

And I know that I am…I am…

I am the luckiest

His eyes locked with Summer's as he sang the chorus to her. He wrote her this song. He wanted another chance. Just one more. Hopefully she could put their past where it belong, back there and just forgive him.

I love you more than I have ever found a way to say to you…

Next door, there's an old man

Who lived to his nineties and one day

Passed away, in his sleep

And his wife, she stayed for a couple of days

And passed away

I'm sorry I know that's a strange way

To tell you that I know we belong

That I know…that I am…I am

I am the luckiest

"Goodbye and good night everyone, have a safe trip home tonight. Thank you!"

---

Seth sat backstage, signing autographs and taking pictures with fans. It was a few hours after the concert, but he was still high off the night. It couldn't have turned out better.

"Alright, everyone, Mr. Cohen has to get going, but thank you all for coming." The crowd groaned but slowly dispersed. They disappeared until only one person was left standing in front of him.

"Summer."

"Seth." Cue awkward silence. You want to go for a walk?" He shrugged and followed her out to the beach. She shivered, so he took off his blazer and wrapped it around her. He loved how all of his clothes hung off her petite body. She looked so small. She stopped and he stopped behind her. She just stared for a moment. She didn't say anything.

"So…did you have a good time?" Silences always made him uncomfortable and he always had to take it upon himself to end them.

"Before or after I found out my boyfriend was cheating on me?"

"I'm sorry." He touched her cheek, but she turned away abruptly. This wasn't going exactly as he envisioned it.

"No you're not. You set me up for this. Why didn't you just get a big 'ole sign that says, 'This is Summer, she is stupid and can't see that she's being cheated on.' That might have gotten the message out more clearly."

"Look, I'm sorry it had to go down like that, but it was the only want to make you see it. You wouldn't believe us, and I guess I kind of wanted to get back at Jared."

"At my expense. Now everyone in Newport has new fodder about my personal life. Look at Summer, she can't keep a man at all--they already knew that, but now they've actually got real live proof."

"Well what do you want me to do, Summer? I'm sorry that I embarrassed you, but it made you see Jared for the slime bag he is. I would be lying if I said that I felt completely remorseful for doing what I did! I don't really actually regret it because now he's gone."

"And what? What do you want me to do? Just go running back into your arms like nothing happened? Oh, I'm the poor defenseless princess who has to be saved by the big, macho demigod who thinks he knows how to handle everything. Even if I didn't find out tonight, I would have found out some other time, and I would have taken care of matters myself. Because, I, can take care of myself. I don't need a protector. And I can take care of my son too--I've been doing it alone for seven years." She knew that was a backhanded comment, but she was totally riled up.

"That's not fair."

"You know what's not fair? Having that little boy look you in the eyes and ask if Daddy's ever coming back and not knowing the answer to that question. That's not fair." She was on a roll and was not about to stop for any pedestrians along the way.

"May I remind you, that you kicked me out Summer." His cheeks were flushed and his forehead was starting to dampen. The old Seth would have backed away from pre-rage blackout Summer, but the new Seth flashed her a look that said, "Bring it on."

"But you never came back. And now that you are here, you think everything can be the same again."

"Why can't they?"

"You can't change what's happened in the past, Seth. You and I both know that it was a long time ago, but since you've been here, you haven't really shown me that you care at all. If you cared about me, you wouldn't have pulled that immature little stunt out there tonight. You're not playing for bragging rights, Seth. You're playing with real emotions and people get hurt. It's one thing to look like a hero to the strangers who don't know anything about us, but you know me better than that."

"You're right, I do know you better than that. And I know you would've done the exact same thing. But whatever, you're the better person, you've always been the better person with the superior judgment. And I know that deep down inside you really want to forgive me and maybe have some semblance of a familial relationship again. I know you do. And I know that you still love me, like I still love you. And I know you want to kiss me right now."

She turned to face him and her eyes flashed in anger at him. But he was used to that. It was a famous Summer reflex that would chase off others, but he couldn't be chased off. He knew her. He ran his hands up and down the length of her arms to warm her. He moved in closer to her and kissed her. Several moments later, she broke their kiss. And he heard her hand smack against his face before he felt the sting.

She turned and started walking briskly.

"What the hell was that for? Summer don't walk away from me. This is real,

Summer," he grabbed her and turned her around, "We are real."

"Seth, you are an asshole."

"Ohhh, good comeback."

"Stop being a smartass. Not everything in life is a joke waiting to happen, you know. Look, I have to go home and put our son to bed."

"I don't know why you just can't admit it. We could be happy together, Sum. You know we could. You know we could work it out this time. I'm not the stupid 25 year old I once was anymore. You can't hold out forever."

"Watch me." She pulled away from his grasp, just to be grabbed again.

"I'm not going to let you go again, Summer. I love you. You know I love you--you've known ever since we were in high school. I love you and Danny more than anything and I wouldn't hurt you again. I've made lots of mistakes in my past that I wish I could take back, but I can't. I wish I were perfect and kept every single promise and did everything perfectly, but I'm not. No one is. But you have to know that I would try for you. I just need you to trust me and believe me." She turned back towards him and he could see the effect of his mini-speech. Her eyes were glazed over with tears. Her nose was bright red, he had forgotten that characteristic. Her nose always got really red right before she was going to cry.

"And, how do I know it's not going to happen again? My whole life, I've been abandoned. And look at me, again, some guy has cheated on me and left me behind once more. I don't think I can deal with this again. I mean, what's wrong with me? How can I expect this not to happen--guys get bored of me, they always do. But what do I do, I go back out there and find the ones that hurt me most."

"Summer, stop. Listen, that's not true. You know it isn't, stop blaming yourself for everything. I couldn't imagine anyone not wanting to be with a beautiful, intelligent, caring person like yourself. But, they can't be with you because I want to be the one who is there for you. I want to be with you."

"This is scaring me Seth. We can't just go back to the way things were seven years ago. A lot has changed. I've changed and so have you. We can't be the same."

"Summer, even if we've both changed, that doesn't mean that we love each other any less. I know you're afraid of being hurt again. But you know me too, Sum. You know me. I won't hurt you. I'm sorry about tonight. I fucked up, I should've come to you and talked. I just wanted you to see so badly. I can be better this time. I promise."

"You said that before, but look where that's gotten us."

"You have to trust me. Our relationship needs to be built on trust. I need you to trust me. I love you. I always have loved you. I love you and I love our son. I want to be with you."

She looked at him earnestly, with tears in her eyes. "Seth, I'm not ready for this again. I just can't." She took off across the sand, and this time he didn't even try to stop her. The ocean's waves broke harshly behind him, but to anyone who was near, they could have been mistaken for the sound of his heart crashing apart.

---

He watched as all the guests congregated in his parents' backyard. This was a throw back to the old days, lavish parties at his house, while he watched, an outsider to everything. Even though he was rich and famous, he was still on the outside of everything, even his own going away party. Perfect couples danced on the makeshift dance floor. Newpsies sipped from their thousand dollar champagne flutes. He spotted his grandfather making a deal in the corner, while Julie looked on, beaming. She was proud of her husband. He saw his songwriting partner, chatting away with one of his father's colleagues. His wife was at his side, supporting everything he did. He saw Ryan twirling Marissa around on the dance floor. Holding her, being there for her. He saw Luke feeding Stacy one of those disgusting mushroom-feta-leek stuffed crapcakes that his mother insisted ordering for every party. Their happiness was evident. Their laughter contagious. Seth spied his own parents sharing a kiss near the bar. Thirty-some years of marriage, and they were still more in love than anyone else he knew. He wanted what everyone had. He wanted Summer to love him, support him, be there for him. He wanted to do that for her. He saw her sitting, by herself near the poolhouse, her hands resting on a table, propping up her chin, looking off into space. If he had a camera, he would have taken a thousand pictures to remember what she looked like at that moment. He loved her so much.

She looked over and caught his eye. He looked away quickly. Her stare burned him, just like those words had. He was going back to New York for a little while. He had to start a tour, and maybe try to forget about her for awhile. He walked into his house, and upstairs to his room. Danny was sleeping soundly on his bed. He didn't want to leave his son again. He'd be back this time, he needed to be there for Danny. He rubbed his hair gently and kissed his cheek before walking over to his desk. He looked at the papers that sat there, and with the quick flourish of his pen, the papers were signed. She was now free.

The Luckiest by Ben Folds