Chapter Sixteen…Things left unsaid do hurt, so never ever hold a grudge J
Duncan and Paul arrived at the scene of the accident, at first the only thing that was still standing in the path of the truck, was an old tree. There were shards of glass everywhere, broken bits of plastic from every part of the truck, and a much dented red telephone booth that was lying on its side. Down into the ditch was the truck, showing its tag, M738 UAJ. It struck both Paul and Duncan that what ever made Lili drive off the road, was indeed meant to fatefully kill her.
"What on?" Paul glanced down into the ditch.
"Paul, give me a moment." Duncan paused, as the rain poured over them both. Eventually the clouds began to clap thunder and more rain dropped from the sky.
"Duncan, it's not safe to go over there, so we're gonna have to wait until morning." Paul tried to reason with him. Duncan wouldn't have any of it. He just turned to a patrolman and asked, "Where is she?"
"She was taken to the hospital, died as she got there, and then onto the morgue. Your friend is right it's best if you both go on home. There's nothing to see here. I could call after the rain breaks." The police man nodded to them, but a motorist not far off in the distance walked up to Duncan and Paul.
"Come on, Duncan." Paul tried to cart him back over to the Police car from the side of the road. Duncan glared at Paul, "Its yer fault, she was down in that gully and not up here with us! Don't ya ever think different of it!"
Paul stood there, as he gave Duncan an odd look, "Don't blame this on me."
"Paul, I'm gathering a lot more than blame towards you!" Duncan hung his head as he glanced back over in the direction of the truck. He felt like crawling right out of his skin so he could die with her. He wanted see if anything of his wife's remained in the truck. He ignored the police man, telling him to not go, and he blew off Paul, before he climbed down the ditch side. Once he reached the truck, or the smashed up box that once resembled one, he managed to get on his hands and knees, and he nipped carefully out from the floor of the driver's side with his hand a small brown paper bag. Inside the bag was Maeve's baby medicine for her sore gums. He clutched the bottle in his hand as he started to cry.
Pray God you can cope.
I stand outside this woman's work,
This woman's world.
Ooh, it's hard on the man,
Now his part is over.
Now starts the craft of the father.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking.
Of all the things I should've said,
That I never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things I should've given,
But I didn't.
Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.
"Duncan." Paul shouted out to him as he clambered down the side of the ditch after Duncan. Paul's feet stopped dead in their tracks as his eyes scanned the paper bag and then bottle. They stood a short distance apart, neither one knowing what to say, as the rain continued to tumble onto their heads from the sky.
Give me these moments back.
Give them back to me.
Give me that little kiss.
Give me your hand.
Lexie pulled herself together as her hand cupped the telephone receiver. She decided to make a faithful attempt at a hello to her husband. "Arch."
I know you have a little life in you yet.
"Lex, what took everyone so long to get to the phone?" Archie demanded some type of an answer without even making note of it in his reply.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
"There's been an accident." She inhaled and exhaled, but Archie could tell on the other end it wasn't just an accident. Something was seriously troubling his dear wife.
I know you have a little life in you yet.
"What kind of an accident? Lex, are you all right? Are the twins?" As Archie started to think 'worse case' scenario, and his mind went into over drive concern for them.
I know you have a lot of strength left.
"No, we're…" She paused, trying to hold back some tears, before whimpering, "Archie, come home. I need you at home."
I should be crying, but I just can't let it show.
"Lex, I miss you too, but there's no reason to get hysterical about it." He heaved a sigh since nothing was wrong with his wife or his children.
I should be hoping, but I can't stop thinking.
"Arch, Lili, Lil's deadthey said she was taken off to the hospital but I know different...I can feel it, she's gone." The rest of Lexie's sentence, consisted of her sobbing and ragged breathing, like she was about to hyperventilate at any given moment. She couldn't seem to stop the flood of tears. Lizzie came over to her with an old remedy a paper bag. Lexie bunched the bag up in her hand as she breathed in and out of it.
Of all the things we should've said,
That were never said.
All the things we should've done,
That we never did.
All the things that you needed from me.
All the things that you wanted for me.
All the things that I should've given,
But I didn't.
Oh, darling, make it go away.
Just make it go away now.
"Dead?" Archie asked amazed, and then baffled, until Lizzie took over the phone. "Yes, dear brother, we believe she's dead. We don't know much else, but your dear wife is extremely upset and now having trouble breathing due to fear of losing youlike she should be and you're not here."
Archie stood there, as Lizzie continued to stand next to Lexie and ramble into the phone. She had one arm wrapped around her sister in law and her other entangled with the phone cord and receiver. "Liz, stay there."
"Arch? Arch!" Lizzie glanced at Lexie, before hanging up the phone. "I don't believe this."
"What?" Lexie whimpered softly between breathing into the poor brown paper bag.
"He hung up on me!" Lizzie grumbled and then gave hug to Lexie. Paul returned from the scene of the accident, and strolled into the study.
"Was it her?" Lizzie asked Paul. He didn't reply, just stood there quietly, unsure of what to say.
"Where's Duncan, Paul?" Lizzie asked again, and watched Paul walk out of the study. Minnie was with the twins and Megan in the front room. Lizzie followed Paul out of the study, leaving Lexie to console herself, while still whooshing air in and out of her lungs and into and out of the bag. She sat in an old high back chair.
"Paul? Are you going to answer me?" Lizzie tapped her foot impatiently as she noted him staring at Minnie as she crawled along the floor playing with toys with her cousins. Megan and Martha glanced in Paul and Lizzie's direction.
Archie ran into his 'bedroom' at the condo. He was supposed to go to work in an hour. He couldn't go to work, who was he kidding? He had to get home to Lexie and the twins. Lili, poor girl, Lexie—oh my gd, she's a mess. He found his suitcase in the closet. He had only been in New York for 24 hours, five minutes and thirty seconds. What would Killwillie think? He didn't take any time phoning him…
"Archie, dear boy, calm right down!" Killwillie replied as he could tell Archie was out of sorts on the other end of the phone.
"Killwillie, I have an emergency. I have got to catch a flight back to Glenbogle."
"I know dear boy, I know." Killwillie paused, as Archie could sense there was more to Killwillie's statement.
"What do you mean you know?" Archie asked, as he didn't care for riddles. It didn't matter if Killwillie was his 'employer' or not.
"You see Archie, Badger and I witnessed Lexie's cousin Lili going off the road. We were heading over to the house to talk to Paul and it was raining so awful out. Badger and I hiked down to the site even called the medics. I don't know much about her fate, I assume she was gone when she got to the hospital."
"Gone, what exactly happened?"
Killwillie found himself at odds with his next choice of words and sadness crept into his voice, "She went off the road, Archie, a stag cut her off while it was down pouring on us all. She ruined the red phone booth just before the drive of house." He concluded then, "Archie, you need to do what's right for your family. I am flattered that you took a position to manage one of my restaurants, but your family needs you. Lexie needs you."
"Lili crashed the truck into the red phone booth?" Archie asked, while trying to make sure he had the story right.
"Yes."
Archie ended his call with Killwillie, "Thank, you. I'll let you know once I am home."
"Very well, Archie, very well." Killwillie hung up his end of the phone.
The call motivated Archie more to finish unpacking and packing. He didn't even have time to fold clothes. He just pulled clothing out of the drawers, balled and piled his pants, his shirts and other belongings into the luggage. He picked up his return ticket that he had to order because a round trip ticket from Scotland to Boston and back again cost less at the time and clutched it in his hands. I'm going to have use for this after all.
Two days later, it was just as dreary as the day of Lili's accident. Archie sat in the passenger's seat next to Paul after he had picked him up from the sleeper. Paul was quiet when he picked up Archie, and he didn't even respond to him when he asked if he was okay.
"Thanks for the lift on such short notice." Archie piped up.
Paul sat still, before carefully adding, "Not an issue."
"Why are we stopping?" Archie asked as he noted that Paul had stopped the truck on the side of the road. He caught a glimpse of where the red telephone booth used to be. Paul got out just as Archie climbed out of Wildlife Center's truck. "This is the scene of her accident, isn't it?"
Paul nodded, as he didn't speak of the incident, even though, Archie wanted him too. Paul walked back over to the drivers' side of the truck and sat down in silence. He was at lost for words, no cheery hellos, no time to be happy, as he was sad, solemn, and sullen.
Archie felt awful, but instead of standing there continuing to gawk at the once accident scene, he climbed back into the truck and turned his attention to Paul. "Let's go back to the house. I need to see Lex."
The truck drove down the Glenbogle House drive as Paul parked it up front, as Archie got out of the vehicle, closed the door, and retrieved his luggage at the back. Paul wandered off, away from people, and down past the house to the loch. Archie didn't have time to yell out to him to 'wait up', as his mother and wife came running out from the house with the twins in tow. Megan had the day off and Ewan was cooking away in the kitchen.
"Archie! Archie!" Lexie bolted from the front door as she practically knocked him off his feet. She hugged him tightly, as her kisses were planted firmly on his lips then cheeks, and then everywhere else on his dear face. For Lexie it had been too long far too long, even though Archie was gone for a total of three days.
"Hello Sweet Alexandra." Archie replied with a sure grin. He agreed too, three days was long enough to be away from his dear wife. He then went straight for his mother, giving her a hug, kissing her cheek, and giving smooches and hugs to the twins, before setting his sights of Lizzie and then Lexie again.
"I see you missed us so much you had to come back." Lizzie remarked, as Archie caught on he upset her some how.
"Lizzie…"
"Arch, you had us all worried like some axe murder killed you on your journey back!" Lizzie replied, before giving her brother a huge hug.
Archie winced, as he realized he didn't end on very good terms with Lizzie over the telephone. Lizzie then snickered, "You hung up on me! We were worried, and wondering what was going on with you. Lexie even called the restaurant and they said you had some emergency and wouldn't be there."
"This is my emergency." Archie stated straightforwardly as he picked up Jayne and Wayne, who were both eagerly saying, "Dadadadadadada!".
Archie, giving them warm squeezes and kisses, then added,"I am happy to be home."
As the family were about to journey inside a hire car came trolling up the driveway. When it stopped, a older gentleman got out of the car, paid the driver, and then claimed his luggage from the back of the taxi.
Molly gasped, as she remembered Lili mentioning something about her father getting ready to arrive. They had tried calling him, but couldn't reach him at home. They just assumed he was on his way to Scotland.
Lexie shouted out, "Hello Uncle Phil!" She voyaged over to him and engulfed him in a huge hug.
"Hello Lexie. Where's my daughter? Is she down at the cottage? Where's Duncan? Where's my grandchild?" Phil MacKinney, had all sorts of questions, as pain on Lexie's face transferred to his when she informed him of what had happened. It took moments, for Phil to understand that Duncan and Minnie were down in the cottage, and Lili had passed away. He wanted to know how? Who? What? When? Molly decided to take over for a very sad Lexie.
"Actually, I'd like a word with you, Phil. Lexie, darling, go inside, spend some time with your husband. I'll talk to Phil about all of this, okay?" Molly draped an arm around Lexie as a way to comfort her. Lexie smiled, "Molly, I understand."
Molly then waltzed up to Phil, "Let's take a stroll in my rose garden."
Phil and Molly walked for quite awhile before talking about Lili. And what they would do about her burial, aside from funeral services. "Lili, wonderful girl, Phil, I'd like to suggest something to you. If you don't mind, I have high respect for your daughter. If you don't agree with me, it's quite all right." Molly and Phil took a seat on the bench over looking her flowers.
"All right, tell me what you're thinking?"
"I made funeral arrangements all ready for Lili. I'd like it if she was buried here. I'm sure Duncan would too. You see, Duncan's taking this very hard, worse than most of us, since he had just married her less than a week ago."
"Okay, when's the funeral service."
"I was waiting for you about configuring a time. We'll talk more about those details. I'd like her to be buried in the MacDonald cemetery. You see, it's only for family and Lili is Lexie's dear kin."
Phil smiled, as his mind lapsed out, 'Lexie and Lili were a quite a pair' before he bowing his head in agreement with Molly. "I see."
"As I told you I'd like for her to be buried on the hillside. I lost my husband years ago. I didn't have an idea of where Hector should have been buried. I felt it was my duty to help Duncan, who's a dear soul out. He's family, Phil. Your grandchild, the little sweets, is family too." Molly plead her case, like she was talking in front of a jury as Phil continued to listen to her.
"It sounds like a delightful idea." Phil's face saddened, "I came to visit my daughter, but not in a wooden box."
"I know." Molly's voice faltered as the pair sat on the bench over looking the flowers and thinking fondly of Lili.
This Woman's Work by Kate BushJ I love this song! J
Chapter Seventeen...Good bye to Lili
The next morning was Lili's funeral service. Instead of having her traditionally viewed in a funeral parlor, Molly had Lili's goodbye arranged at the burial site. The sky was dark and cloudy and looked like it was going to thunder. In a few moments each mourner gathered around overlooking the flower topped casket. Lexie was teary eyed, while Archie spoke empathetically, as he held an arm around her.
"She's gone Archie."
"Alexandra, she's in a safe place." Archie pulled her closer to him as he provided her comfort through the storm.
"Safe?" As she tipped her head towards her husband and looked at him through her tears. "Do you believe in heaven, Arch?"
"Of course I do. We spoke of it, you and I when my father passed on. It's the same for dear Lili, she was a good soul, and so she'll go onto heaven." Archie spoke softly to her.
"Poor Dunc, how do you s'pose he'll carry on?" She replied, staring at her old mate. Duncan could barely keep himself together and his emotions in check. He tried to do it and the more he tried, he became helpless. Duncan, who was a constant jolly soul, who always cracked a joke, and making silly faces, was in desperate need of the return affection.
Archie pondered and then paused, as he rose his hand to wipe away a fleeting tear from his wife's cheek, before carefully concluding, "He'll carry on well Lexie as long as we're all here for him. Dear Sweet Alexandra, there's no need to worry."
Lexie forced a small smile while replying back, "I will worry. I dun no how to carry on without her myself."
Archie leaned in gracefully, and quietly as his lips touched her forehead. "I love you Alexandra with all my being, mind and heart. Nothing will ever happen to you, do you understand me?"
Lexie gave a nod of her head, as tears escaped her eyes again, as she cried in Archie's arms.
Duncan placed a rose, one of the last from Molly's garden on the casket before him as it his mind formed a personal mental note to Lili:
I didn't exactly expect for you to pass on, just as you you didn't expect to leave me here raising Min by meself. I'm in love with you, Lil, and I will always be. What do I tell Maeve when she gets older? This is all rubbish, Sugar! Ye're s'posed to be here with me and not in some pit in the ground!
What do I say to her when she asks how you passed on? Me magic wand is broken, I can't just poof and make you appear again, can I? Lil' s me heart is broken and where are you to help me pick up all of those blimey pieces?
Duncan then felt someone wrap their arms around the back of him. It was Lexie, as she had crept right up to his side and placed a rose beside his on the casket. They stood side by side, like best friends do, as she spoke to him gently, "Let's go, Dunc."
"Lex, I dun no if I can." Duncan glanced out into the distance, beyond the mountains and then up to the sky.
"You can." She urged.
"This is pure rubbish, Lex, she shouldn't be down there."
"Shh, I agree, but ya have another duty, poor wee man, yer daughter still needs you here," as Lexie's words powered some hope and strength within him. She gave him a wink and carted him away from the casket, by wrapping an arm around him. Duncan took a moment for himself and decided on a one man stroll. He went up to Molly, gave her a hug and a 'thank-you' before finally walking away.
It didn't take long for Phil Mackinney and Maeve to set their roses free over Lili too. Followed by Lizzie and Molly, and then Golly and Jess. Paul stood off in the far distance, watching the poignant scene as he couldn't bring himself to join them or say good bye to Lili. Duncan and Paul still had issues to talk about, it was Lexie and Lizzie's suggestion nights ago that Paul actually apologize to him for causing so many problems for the pair. He really wanted Lili happy, regardless if she was with Duncan. He knew Duncan still found fault with him for Lili's accident and not spending time with her rightful husband the night before she died.
After funeral, Paul stood looking out at the loch, everything from four nights ago, hit him very hard. He remembered discussing Lili's decision to get married to Duncan and how she figured out he had loved her deeply too. He just respected her marriage to Duncan because she wanted it to work. He was deeply frustrated at how he had led her on that he had kissed her for show in front of Rolph, when he had kissed her because he wanted too.
Losing Lili days ago nearly killed him too. It wasn't just Lexie and Duncan or Minnie who went through a loss, Paul did too. He heard a voice from behind him, but he didn't turn around.
"Standing there is peaceful isn't it?" Archie walked up to Paul.
"I dun no, depends of who it's supposed to put at ease." Paul added, as he turned and gave Archie a manly hug, but the hug deepened more, as if it were something that Paul needed.
"Holding up? I didn't see you at the service, why is that?"
"I'm holding as best as I can, considering the circumstance." Paul continued to chatter on, because he wanted someone to listen to him and knew Archie would. "I miss her, Arch. I was the last one to see her alive that morning and I can't see myself standing over her grave because I don't except her death. She came bounding up to the house and took the truck keys from me." Paul hung his head. "She smiled, actually hugged me, said things with Duncan were pretty back to normal, thanks for that chat that night and then wandered on."
"You can't blame yourself, Paul for something none of us could control."
"Arch, she was perfect in my own eyes. It didn't matter if Duncan and her were married. I love her just as much and maybe more. She figured as much too."
"What do you mean?" Archie asked, as he tilted his head to scan Paul's face.
"That chat she thanked me for was all about her wanting to go home, about what would have happened if she had chosen me over Duncan and if we would still be close. I just told her that I wasn't going anywhere. Arch, I kissed her the night before the accident, it was for show in front of the Immigration officer, but I meant every inch of it."
Archie listened before adding in another subject, "Paul, I have a connection to the phone booth, poor Lili hit."
Paul glanced at him quietly, urging his brother silently to continue.
"Paul, the red phone booth, is a sign. A sign of fate that I am not supposed to leave Glenbogle ever again."
"Okay, how did you make this decision?"
"The day I arrived back here years upon years ago, the phone company was going to tote that booth away, and I stopped it. Mother and father had the bills so messed up and that's why they were going to take it away. I fought with the workers over and over again to keep it here."
"A sign that you had to come back and work stuff out? I know someone else who has stuff to work out."
"Duncan's upset. He lost his wife. You're his friend too, you know this. He did talk to you? Have you talked to him? " Archie inquired, as Paul stood beside him still unconvinced.
"I haven't had a moment to exchange words with him." Paul's statement was partially true, but also false. He had a moment to natter on with Duncan about everything that had happened the night before Lili passed, but he couldn't bring himself to have words with Duncan about it.
"Oh, well. Come on now, come inside, it's getting chilly out. Ewan made some stew for afternoon lunch."
"Arch, I'm not hungry. Thanks for the offering." Paul walked away from his younger half brother. He shut himself up, closed him down, and Archie couldn't figure out how to start his brother up again, like a robot running out of battery power as Paul was now kaput.
Chapter Eighteen…Drinking, Broken Hearts, and Mega Trouble…
Archie wandered down to Duncan's croft after the afternoon lunch that Lexie and Ewan had provided. He wasn't sure of what he was going to say to him exactly, but he had to tell Duncan that he'll be all right. When Archie arrived, he knocked on the door and strolled in, "Duncan?"
"Duncan?"
Duncan made himself get up from bed as he put the children's book down and placed Maeve into her crib before leaving her room. Archie met Duncan in the hall. "There you are. We hadn't had much time for a good ol' chat since I returned."
"Well, been busy." Duncan muttered, but Archie knew what he had meant by busy. There wasn't any humor in Duncan's voice, as he just stood there, staring at Archie blankly.
"I know, Dunc. I'm sorry about it all. Lexie would like for you and Maeve to join us up at the house more often."
"That's very kind of you Arch, but I'm not sure we're up for it." Duncan replied as Archie insisted.
"Look, Paul's taking this pretty hard too. I just thought that…"
Duncan walked over to Archie and very quietly, but hesitantly sighed, "I cannot spend time talking about Paul, Archie. Sorry. Just…"
"Duncan, I know about everything, but you cant go around here avoiding Paul or Paul avoiding you." Archie persisted.
"I'm not avoidin' him." Duncan spoke flatly, sternly and showed no real emotion.
"Fine, perhaps, then you'd take kindly to Lexie watching Maeve, so the three of us could go have a drink down at the pub?" Archie suggested, thinking he's find someway to mend the bridge between his half brother and great friend.
Duncan paused, a long pregnant pause, before finally concluding, "Aye."
"Great, be up at the house in an hour with Min and we'll see to you having a good time, aye?"
Duncan shrugged, and just nodded his head. He wasn't in the mood to argue with Archie because well, to him there just wasn't anything worth arguing about right now. His mind kept going back to Lili and everything about Lili. He was surrounded by her belongings, her things, her silly snowshoes, her coats, jackets, oversized backpacks, hats, mittens, and her knitting, just everywhere and everything reminded him of his wife. He could picture them sitting on the sofa, cuddled right up together, and reading a book or leafing through an old photo album. It dawned on him, the albums and photos, letters, everything else that he had lost—the memories. His expression on his face pained when…
Laughter, everything that came out from their mouths at that moment, was pure laughter…Duncan had stashed away a photo album of pictures of him growing up, and Lili was too busy tickling him in order to get him to hand them over!
"Stop!" He giggled, before she poked his sides and tried to get him to hand over the album.
"Not until I see those photos!" She replied, with a smile and a chuckle.
When some body loved me
Everything was beautiful
Ever hour spent together
Went to my heart
And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
And when she was happy
So was I…
"Look, I'm the last of the MacKay men, so it's not important for you to see these…" He toyed with her and then teased her by dangling the album over her head. He had much longer arms and a higher reach then she did on the sofa. Also Lili was six months along with her pregnancy and could just barely move, but she could still tickle and with vengeance!
"So? It is important! If I'm giving birth to your child, I'd like to see these for future reference!" Lili challenged with a pout, one of which Duncan couldn't give into, and then she rubbed her well-rounded abdomen.
"Lil, I…"
She continued to pout and sniffed as he eyed her closely.
When she loved me
Through the summer
And the fall
We had each other
And that was all
Just she and I together
Like it was meant to be
"All right." He gave in…as she shouted out in delight, "YAY!"
Duncan continued to laugh as their faces inched closer, she stole a kiss from him, before snatching the book away from his hands. They began to leaf through the pages of cute baby photos that Duncan's Aunt Liz had given him when she first found out that Duncan and Lili were going to have a baby.
And when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her
And I knew that she loved me…
She loved me…
"Duncan?" Archie stood there, trying to figure out if he was intently listening to him or just agreeing with him because he felt he had too?
"Sorry, Arch. I'm thinkin' about her." Duncan shrugged again. Archie's face showed empathy right away, before carefully and wisely speaking back, "I understand. Bring Min up to the house and we'll leave from there."
Archie and his diplomatic delegations left Duncan's croft seconds later as he high tailed it back to the house in search of Paul. On his way, he ran right into Jess, she had a yellow backpack strapped to her back as she was making way to Duncan's. She waved at Archie as he waved back.
"Hello, Jess."
"Hello, just wondering how the widow is?"
"Weepy, but other than that, all right. How's Golly?"
"Da, Da is Da. He's going to be returning to home in the morning. The doc came up to the house and he's doing quite well."
"I'm sorry to hear of…"
"It's in the family, his condition. He's lucky that he found out about it now, terribly lucky. Anyway, I'm off to University after I say bye to Duncan."
"You wouldn't have happened to see Paul in your travels?"
"Yea, he's down at the loch again. Last time I checked he was setting his kayak afloat."
"Thanks."
As Archie set off on foot again to find Paul, Jess walked up to the door stoop and knocked. It took a few moments for Duncan to answer. "Jess?"
"I'm going back to school. Molly's going to take me to the station." As she entered the small croft, right behind Duncan as he shut the door. "You'll be okay, right?"
Duncan piped up, "Aye, yea, fine."
Jess paused, wondering if his answer was true. His expression, his distance sad face, seemed to tell her its own story. He looked like he hadn't slept the past three days. "Oh."
"Yea, I better be sending you off then." He gave a nod of his head, engulfed her into an awkward hug and then he held her for a few seconds, longer than he should have, before breaking down. His own tears trickling down his cheeks as Jess managed speak up, "It's all right, Dunc."
"Sure…it. Is." He released her immediately, wiped his own face with his hands and then forced a grin. Jess could tell it was false, just for show, just to show her that he's be able to handle everything on his own, which was far from true.
"Da also said he'd be down your way very soon. Things happen, Duncan, and they are hard on explainin' but you'll move on. You will." Jess turned away, opening the door, and started her journey back to the house. Duncan stood in his kitchen, as moments, minutes and seconds lapsed on, before he opened the door and then hollered out to her, "Jess!"
Jess turned after already walking far down the path, waving at him 'good bye'. Duncan stood still, before raising his right hand and waving back.
The pub was crowded that night as Paul, Archie and Duncan sat at a table. Archie of course was the only one talking, as Paul and Duncan didn't breathe a word to one or another. Archie wasn't sure how much longer he could take between the sulking, bruiting, and silence. He just wanted everyone to some how get along and get on. Playing peacekeeper wasn't something Archie always looked forward too. He just wanted everything back to normal.
"This is nice, we're sitting here, men to men, and able to enjoy a stiff drink." Archie replied, but Duncan and Paul didn't give him an answer. Duncan instead slugged down and finished off his pint and nodded towards the bar, "I believe that means that I need more."
Duncan got up from the table as Archie and Paul looked on. Duncan strolled off towards the bar, in hopes to 'escape' what Archie was trying to do, make him talk. Duncan was one, who always had words, just for now, he didn't see reason for wasting them on Paul.
"This isn't going well, you do realize this?" Paul spoke up as Archie glanced at him.
"It speaks." Archie joked, but Paul didn't catch the humor in it.
"Arch, I see what you're trying to do, but you can't push people to chatter on an' on." Paul gave a nod of his head, before finishing off his own drink. "I believe I'm out." He got up from the table too, leaving Archie sitting there, in complicated despair.
Paul approached Duncan, as he had two more pints and one shot glass of whiskey in his hands. "Since you here, take it." He gestured, before thrusting one of the pints into Paul's hands.
Paul answered him, "Duncan, there's a lot to talk on about, I'm…"
"Talk later, drink now." He shrugged, still avoiding any issues that dealt with talking to Paul about his dead wife.
Duncan waltzed back up to the table and set down Archie's pint, before slamming his shot back, and smiling at Archie, "Going out, good idea Archie, what's next playing tennis in a cemetery?"
Archie now wasn't sure if bringing Duncan to the pub was such a great idea. Within the hour he had consumed two-three pints and at least two shots of stellar whiskey. Paul of course hated the smell of the whiskey, but Duncan bought him a shot and tried to dare him to drink it anyway.
"Go on, drink it." Duncan urged, as he hiccupped. Archie sat between the two dueling men. He remembered they had placed bets before. As one in particular came to Archie's mind about Lili's affections, but this bet was getting very out of hand, you see, Duncan not only challenged Paul to drink whiskey, but to also drink him under the table.
"Ah, no, thanks." Paul added, but he had at least two or three pints in his gullet too.
"You know, Archie, your brother is sure a wimp when it comes to drinkin' isn't he?"
Archie would have sensed trouble brewing between Paul and Duncan if he was sober, but he was buzzing on too so his tongue added out, "I agree there, Dunc."
Paul shot his brother a look of astonishment, "You agree?"
"Yes, aye, sure do." Archie replied with a huge smile plastered on his face as he gave Paul a strong pat on the back. "For a laird, you should be willing to drink ol' malty whiskey."
Paul spoke right up, "You're the laird, Arch, I was the stand in."
"And an awful stand in at that." Duncan announced, before finishing off another shot. Paul stared at him wondering what that meant as Archie in a failed peacekeeping attempt, wrapped one arm around Paul's neck and another around Duncan's before adding, "Play nicely men."
"What do you mean by that, Duncan?" Paul gave him a stern look and shrugged off Archie's arm.
"I meant, ye're an blithering, slithering, slimy laird, Paul. Ye think the moon and the stars revolve around you, only when they come crashin' down on yer head, you stand there saying, 'Dafty me, I didn't do that.'"
Paul gave Archie a look, a 'Shut-him up or I will' look.
Archie smiled again, "Men, there's no need to be…"
Duncan interrupted before nailing the first verbal nail to the 'coffin', "She was my wife, ya know. There was no need to kiss her and no need to talk her into going back to America!"'
Paul retorted back before nailing in the second verbal nail to the 'coffin', "She married the wrong man, and not my problem. I would have never ever talked her into such an idea, if you had actually been there for her!"
Duncan snapped out, while wedging in a third verbal nail, "What's that? You think she would have been better off betrothed to you? Lass and Lads, there he goes again, moon and stars, and now the sun and sky fallin' on yer head. Get a life, slug and go back under the rock you crawled out from."
Paul staggered the drink of whiskey down, as he slammed in the final verbal nail of the 'coffin' which hid and closed up their true feelings for each other on the matter of Lili. Paul gave a horrendous face as the bite of the whiskey fired down into the core of his being. He drank the horrid stuff, in hopes to shut Duncan right up. He wasn't going to blow a gasket, or to argue with Duncan any further. He convinced himself (even though he now beyond three sheets to the wind too) that he understood Duncan was dealing with grief and dealing with pain and then…
Archie within a moment, noticed Paul get up from the table, before Duncan followed him. "Where ye goin'? Don't ya think ya have blithering things to say? I'm'a not done talkin' if ya wanna talk ya, bumbling meathead!"
"Duncan, I wouldn't…" Archie stood up from the table as he observed Paul and then turned his attention to Duncan. Paul remained silent and finally strode away. Just as Duncan staggering his words, stuttering on, tried to take a tremendous leap and swing at Paul before tripping over his own two feet, and hitting his head on the bar on the way down to the floor.
Duncan's head continued to pound, as he groaned aloud, Archie stood there as he opened the ice box and took out a bag, a frozen bag. Duncan grumbled again as he looked down his body, his boots were still on, his kilt was ripped, and his leather jacket and shirt were still on and in tact. He didn't want to know who or what brought him into the kitchen of the house. He was laying there on the countertop. Finally, he tried to sit himself up, only to lie back down. "Och, my head."
"Here." Archie thrust the bag into Duncan's hands. "I do believe we're experiencing de'ja'vu?"
"But I'm not hungry, Archie."
"Exactly, de'ja'vu. You know, you'd think I'd have learned my lesson since the last time about you drinking after a break up, with, who was it, Irene? The house keeper you and Gol had the hots for? Just use the bag on your head, Duncan. It'll take the blasted swelling down." Duncan did as he was told, before sitting himself up again. "We're out of peas, so I had to grab…"
"Carrots?" He exclaimed, right before grabbing his thumpin' head at his own raised voice. He then pouted out quietly, "Lili loved carrots."
"Aye, well, now, just relax." Archie stated firmly.
"Wha-d happened?" Duncan asked, before Archie heaved a heavy sigh.
"My plan to get you and Paul to talk well, it didn't back fire…however, that is positively the last time I step in where my brother's affairs are a concern. He'll have to find his own closure for now on."
"Och no." Duncan replied, as Archie nodded his head, "Och yes."
"What did I say to him?"
"I might I mention what didn't you say to him instead?" As Duncan's face dropped, before Archie added, "You said to him things that you needed to say, Duncan in an altered mind state."
"Oh. So sorry, Arch."
"Eh, it was bound to come out sooner, than later and I for one am okay with it coming out now." Archie replied, "I guess you get what you paid for? Anyway, you knocked yourself out before you could do anything else regrettable."
Just as Archie and Duncan sat there, Lizzie came blazing into the kitchen yelling out, "Archie! Duncan!"
"Whad?" Duncan groaned as his head continued to pound at the yelling, but Lizzie was frantic and screaming in a full out panic!
"Archie! Duncan!"
"Lizzie, we can hear you. What is wrong?" Archie steadied Duncan with his hands after helping him up and then went to his sister's aide. "Come quick! Come quick! Oh Archie! For Pete's sake, for once do as you're told! Come quickly!"
"What?" Archie shrugged, before being tugged by his arm towards the kitchen back door and opened it wide. In the short distance, flames were spotted, as a building was going up in smoke on the estate property.
"There's a"
"Fire?"
They then rushed back into the house to alert the fire squad, as Duncan about to holler out, and gave another groan at his headache, before shouting out finally, "Where are you going?"
"Duncan, to get the fire squad!" Archie yelled as he scurried from the kitchen.
"Whad? Why?"
"'Cos yer croft is on fire!" Lizzie shouted back, trailing behind her brother…
The next day, after a long night of trying to put out the croft fire, Archie, Duncan and Paul went to assess the damages. There was nothing left, just pure blackened rumble, as Duncan's face grew long. He didn't know what to do. How did this happen? "Everything, is gone, Archie. I have nothing left."
"Yes, well, it's all right, but just good, you and Minnie weren't hurt or even killed inside." Archie added, trying to shed some light on the subject. Duncan's life, everything he had in that croft, went up in smoke and Duncan didn't see any light at the end of the tunnel, just newfound darkness.
"Apparently the place had faulty wiring as the code enforcer informed us this morn." Paul replied, pointing out the cause.
Duncan walked onto the floor and foundation, which was the only thing still visible, he neared the living area, as his eyes fell upon the charcoaled mound of a couch, once resembled blue easy chair, which was now a scorched onyx lump. They walked into what was once the small kitchen area, glanced over to the once white but was now gray refrigerator. Duncan opened the door as it fell off the hinges, and tossed the door down with a sigh. He proceeded to Minnie's room, or what was left of it, as Minnie's toys were either ash or melted plastic, and the crib that Duncan had helped Golly build was just a bunch of ashes and a wired frame, which was once a mattress too. He finally braved the bedroom, wired bed mattresses and frame was the only thing visibly left. The devastation was overwhelming, his wall of books was gone, and then his eyes glanced at the snowshoes, Lili's snowshoes survived. He laughed a loud before contemplating crying, as Archie and Paul came up behind him.
"What's funny? Duncan? You all right?" Paul asked, but Duncan, was now ready to ball as well.
"Duncan?" Archie asked.
"Lil an' her shoes an' kayak sleddin'." Duncan replied as Paul gave him a blank stare.
Paul remembered Lili's wise idea of snowshoeing with Maeve in an infant carrier strapped to her chest surrounding their bodies in her down coat and boots. She also had a hat on her head, scarf wrapped around her face, and also mittens covering her hands. She was bound a determined to get out in the snow. Paul and Duncan both thought she was out of it. As she had just given birth to Maeve weeks ago and it was just after Christmas, in the beginning of January. Lili wanted to do something fun, just like a little kid would do. No one could stop her from enjoying the winter...especially since she would go on and on about winters in Maine. She'd shout good bye with the poles in her hands, the shoes strapped to her boots, and off she'd go.
"Kayak sledding. Let's go kayak sledding!" She shouted out on brisk, cold, and sunny afternoon to Archie, Lexie and Duncan. "Come on! Let's go!"
Archie and Lexie shrugged to each other, "Are you sure about this dear cousin?" Lexie yelled out to Lili but she already schemed their fun for the afternoon.
"Lili, where are you going?" Duncan asked, before picking up on her idea and beaming proudly. "That's...me woman."
"What on earth?" Paul replied, as he caught them running off with three of his most prized possessions-his kayaks from the boating area. Lili just urged Paul to join her and Duncan for a sledding feat. Duncan urged Paul too. Archie, well, he insisted upon it.
"We're going kayak-sledding, Paul! Join us!" Lili shouted aloud as she helped Archie and Duncan move a kayak away from the wood landing.
"Yeah!" Duncan shouted aloud.
Archie rooted on, "Come on, we'll put them back when we're through. No harm to be done. This is a fun thing to do…join us!"
Paul shook his head and then went along with them on Lili's crazed idea.
The gang of them made way for the hillside, as Archie, Duncan and Paul portage kayaks to the sledding hill, which Lexie and Lili chose. They had the twins, who were eight months of age, bundled well up for the occasion as Maeve was with Molly being watched for the hour.
"Come on, Paul! Just get on the kayak and go down the hill! It's great!" Lili stood in shin-deep snow. As there were many footprints left in the snow, showing where they had come from.
"They do this in America? This kayak sledding?" Paul shot her a look, wondering if it was such a nifty idea to go floating down the hillside where Lexie and Archie had once gotten married.
"Spoil sport!" Lexie replied as she laughed aloud. She had the twins very well bundled up in blankets and snowsuits, hats and mittens sitting on a sled that she had toted behind her.
"This was your suggestion to go sledding way out here, wasn't it?" Paul sat himself down on the kayak. He wasn't sure if the kayak would actually go down the hill, but Duncan snuck up behind him and gave the kayak a huge heaping push!
Lexie yelled out, "See you at the bottom, Paul!"
Paul shouted out, "Who-aaaaaa!" as he went flying down the hill with snow flurrying everywhere, as he'd go over a bump, beforecrashing into a huge snow drift and falling off the kayak. Shouts and hoots of laughter came after as Paul stood up, shaking the snow off, and waving that he had survived the trip. "I'm all right! OK! Aye, who's next?"
Archie scooted onto a kayak as Duncan sat on the other one while giving off evil child-like grins. Before challenging each other...
"Last one to the bottom is a…" Duncan started and Archie completed his sentence…
"A rotten egg!" As they raced down the hillside.
"Paul?" Archie replied, as he zapped him back into reality. They stood there in the ruins of the croft. "Paul, are you all right?"
"Aye."
In my place, In my place,
Were lines that I couldn't change,
I was lost, oh yeah,
I was lost, I was lost,
Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed,
I was lost oh yeah...
Yeah
how long must you wait for it?
Yeah
how long must you pay for it?
Yeah
how long must you wait for it?
Oh for it...
I was scared I was scared,
Tired and under prepared,
But I'll wait for it,
And if you go if you go,
And leave me down here on my own,
Then I'll wait for you,
Yeah…
A day passed as Lili's father decided to journey home. He had spent a greater portion of the time with Maeve up at the house. Lexie had made sure her Uncle Phil was comfortable. He knew about the croft fire, and considered Duncan and his granddaughter lucky for not being inside it at that hour. He had his bag packed, as he walked the luggage down the steps into the front foyer.
"Oh I wish, you'd stay longer." Lexie added, as she smiled, giving her uncle a hug.
"No, I'd only be in the way. I had my chance to spend time with Maeve and it was nice seeing you and your family. I must be going, Alexandra." Phil said simply.
"Well, come back to see us."
"I will. I don't believe you'll be keeping me away from my granddaughter for very long. I might try to come back in the autumn."
"Well, you're certainly welcome." Molly winked as she held Maeve in her arms.
"Good luck with your shop." Phil nodded.
"Yes, well, my daughter is doing a wonderful job keeping it up for me." Molly gave a mention of Lizzie, who was absent because she was working at the shop.
"Give her my regards too and the same for Archie."
Phil stood there before Golly nodded to him, "Time to go?"
"Yes," Phil gave Golly a solid reply, before hugging Lexie one more time. "Come visit me very soon."
"I might be able to take you up on that offer since Archie will be leaving for Boston again soon." Lexie spoke of her husband. Molly glanced over to Golly. They had their own conclusions about Archie going back to Boston to work in the restaurant.
"Well, then, hopefully, I'll see you then." As Phil and Golly walked out of the house, Lexie and Molly followed them on.
Golly gave Phil a lift to the sleeper and dropped him off at the front entrance. Just before Golly drove away, he got out helped Phil with his luggage and in part of his send off he quipped, "Your daughter was a wonderful lass. Very bright, and if it weren't for her I wouldn't be standing here today."
Both men nodded in agreement that Lili had been there when they were both diagnosed with adult diabetes. She had managed to tend to them both at one time or the other.
"I agree with you there, as I myself wouldn't be here standing if it weren't for her." Phil stood there, before grabbing his luggage. He then turned to face Golly, before extending out his hand, "Take care of Duncan and Maeve. However, if things get hairy for them, don't hesitate to phone me. I suggested to Duncan to move himself with Minnie to the states. I'd have a job set up for him when he got there, but my son in law declined. He said that he had to allow his daughter to grow up here. However, he'd make note of the offer."
"I'll be sure to let you know if anything changes with him. Take care, Phil."
"Take care." Phil walked into the station leaving Golly standing there.
That night at Glenbogle…
"Archie, you're really sure about this? About staying on and not going back to Boston?" Lexie lie in bed beside her husband in the middle of the night.
"Yes, Lex, when that old red phone booth was destroyed, it came to me, I'm not meant to leave Glenbogle. I'm meant to stay here, it's a sign. Just like the day I came back to Glenbogle from London."
"Yea, but that was so long ago." Lexie whispered.
"Besides I can't leave Paul to run things here smoothly, and I have qualms about leaving my dear wife and our children." Archie kissed Lexie's forehead, which invoked a smile upon her face.
"Archie, you're the best husband ever!" Lexie snuggled closer to him.
"I'm your only husband." He mocked, as they both laughed together as Lexie's lips crashed down upon his…
"You better be." She replied back, breaking free from the kiss. "I'm just so happy you're home now and you're indeed staying put."
The End.
When Somebody Loved Me by Sarah McLachlan Duncan's memory of Lili
In My Place by ColdplayPaul's memory of Lili