Chapter 2: The Fun Begins
Note: This land has been annexed in the name of Squaresoft. And oh yes, permission has been granted unto me by all characters, except the fictional
ones, owned by Squaresoft.
"Oh, crackers."
"Come on, let's go!", yelled Cid as they all ran out of the galley.
"Are we supposed to do something?", asked Rachel after sitting there for a few moments to Laura while all the alert lights were flashing and sirens blaring.
"I dunno! You wrote the story! AHHH!", she screamed as Tifa ran back in the room and grabbed them. Cid fired up the engines, and they were all thrown back against the wall as soon as they reached the bridge.
"Uh, Laura?", asked Rachel against the force pressing against her body.
"What?"
"The attack of Weapon isn't supposed to be for a chapter!"
"Uh, well, I can explain!"
"Yeah, what?"
"You see, you were drooling all over the table and there were no napkins so . . ."
"YOU TOOK OUT THE PAGES!", yelled Rachel, turning red.
"But it was icky!", whimpered Laura.
"WHAT THE #&%$! YOU DON'T TAKE OUT THE %%! PAGES! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW THE STORY ENDS!?!"
"Uhhh. . . ", cowered Laura. "No. . ."
"AERIS DIES!"
"Oops."
"What? Who dies?", asks Aeris.
"Uh, heh heh, nobody dies. . .", said Laura as she covered Rachel's still yelling mouth. "Look!", Laura hissed. "I've gotten this taken care of!" And the Highwind swooped down to the western coast of the continent, to the shore on the side of the desert.
"We're all gonna die, we're all gonna die, we're all gonna die. . .!", screamed Rachel.
"SHUT UP!", yelled Cid.
"Hey, I should know I wrote this thing!"
"I still don't believe it!"
"Let's do!", yelled Cloud as he left the ship. And Laura pulled a sobbing Rachel to the battle zone,
"Stop freaking out!", yelled Laura. "I have this under control!" And Rachel stopped and just looked at her. "There, that's better."
"I DON'T WANNA DIE!", Rachel continued screaming. Laura took her over to the beach, dragging her as she left scratch marks in the ground. And then they all saw the huge mass of something in the distance. It had gigantic arms, no feet, and two elongated heads with mouths that contained entirely teeth, sticking out like iron spikes.
"THIS IS YOUR WEAPON!", yelled Laura at Rachel. "YOU HAD TO BE INCOMPETENT AT EVERYTHING, BESIDES CREATING MONSTERS! I THOUGHT YOURS WOULD BE A FLUFFY BUNNY!"
"WELL WHAT!? WEAPON IS SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKY!"
"I. . . hate you. . ."
"Get ready!", yelled Red XIII. And all the members of AVALANCHE assumed their fighting stances, bearing all arms.
"Oh, crap. What are we supposed to defend ourselves with? Laura? Not again. . ."
"OH VINNIE WILL PROTECT ME! Won't you Vinnie?"
"YOU SAID YOU HAD THIS ALL TAKEN CARE OF!", yelled Rachel.
"I DO! DON'T RUIN THIS!", whispered back Laura.
"EERRAAHHAARRGGH!", yelled the Weapon.
"YOU SHUT UP!", yelled Rachel at the Weapon.
"IF YOU'RE GONNA SO SOMETHING, DO IT NOW!", Rachel yelled at Laura.
"AND WHY NOW!?", she yelled back.
"BEFORE AERIS DIES, STUPID!"
"How long is this gonna take?", asked Weapon.
"Yeah, we have some carnage and destruction to take care of.", said the other head.
"Hold on, we're almost done.", said Rachel.
"That thing talks?", asked Laura.
"Of course, I'm its creator."
"That doesn't mean anything."
"I like it if all the things I made talk. What?"
"God, you are so STUPID!"
"Just get rid of him before Aeris dies."
"Who dies?", asks Cloud and Aeris in unison.
"You do, now shut up. Get rid of it!", says Rachel.
"Heh heh, this'll be fun. . .", grinned Laura. And she wrote something down on the paper.
"EEEP!", yelled Weapon, as it rapidly shrunk in size.
"HAHA! Now I have a pet!", yelled Rachel maniacally. "Mom and dad can't say anything about this!" But Laura picked it up and squished it. "HEY! What was that for!"
"I wanted to kill it."
"Uh, have you two forgotten about us?", asked Yuffie between the arguments.
"OH I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU VINNIE!", screamed Laura as she pounced on him.
"CLOUDY, I WAS SO SCARED!", yelled Rachel as she ran and tackled him.
"THAT'S IT!", yelled Tifa. THWACK! Rachel was punched out cold. "And now for you. . ."
"Get back! I have the pen!", Laura yelled. And they all backed off, remembering how gruesomely she squished Weapon. "Haha! You will now all be my eternal slaves!", she said and she turned around to face Vincent. "And guess who'll be my love slave?!", she said in a singsong voice.
"Oh merciful Jesus!", he screamed. "If you had any say in this, smite me down now!" And there was nothing but silence. "Darn."
"And so it shall be written!" And she put the pen down on the paper, and they all winced. "Stupid pen. . . won't WRITE!"
"YEESSSS! GOD DOES LOVE ME!", cried Vincent.
"Uh, hi guys. . .", she said as she was being ganged up on. "How's it going? AAHHHHHHHHHH!" And all hell broke loose as they all jumped on her. By the time they were done, she lay there in a bloody heap on the ground twitching.
"Nice kick Tifa.", said Cloud.
"What are we supposed to do with them now?", asked Barret.
"On one hand, they are the most annoying things ever created on this planet.", said Aeris, and they all shook their heads in agreement. "But on the other hand, they DID save my life."
"You're not serious!", yelled Cid.
"Sorry Cid. . ."
"Cloud, she likes you, ya' gotta say somethin'!", pleaded Barret.
"I DO hate them. . .Especially this one.", he said as he kicked at Rachel's body. "But they DID save Aeris. . . I suppose we have to until they find a way to leave."
"Oh what hell has this man unleashed?", said Vincent. "Sigh...Let's take them back. . ." So they issued out a stretcher and piled Rachel and Laura onto it.
"Huh?", said Rachel, regaining consciousness. She looked around, and she was in Tifa's house. She could barely move, and had no idea what was going on. Cloud then walked in, and she tried to jump on him.
"Don't even try that." And when she looked, she was bound with chains.
"Okay, here's the deal. You are allowed to live with us." And he heard a high-pitched excited squeal from under her facial bandages. "But only because you saved Aeris. You WILL have to earn your keep here. And as for your friend. . .", he said as he turned around to Laura, who was completely bandaged and still twitching. "Will do the same. Got it?" Rachel nodded rapidly. "Good. Now get some rest. Your chores start tomorrow." And he heard a "SQUEE!" from under the bandages. "I'll take that as a yes. Good night." He left the room and shut the door. "Oh dear God, what have I done?"
HAH! Yeah that was bad. But next time WILL be better. Swear it.
Note: This land has been annexed in the name of Squaresoft. And oh yes, permission has been granted unto me by all characters, except the fictional
ones, owned by Squaresoft.
"Oh, crackers."
"Come on, let's go!", yelled Cid as they all ran out of the galley.
"Are we supposed to do something?", asked Rachel after sitting there for a few moments to Laura while all the alert lights were flashing and sirens blaring.
"I dunno! You wrote the story! AHHH!", she screamed as Tifa ran back in the room and grabbed them. Cid fired up the engines, and they were all thrown back against the wall as soon as they reached the bridge.
"Uh, Laura?", asked Rachel against the force pressing against her body.
"What?"
"The attack of Weapon isn't supposed to be for a chapter!"
"Uh, well, I can explain!"
"Yeah, what?"
"You see, you were drooling all over the table and there were no napkins so . . ."
"YOU TOOK OUT THE PAGES!", yelled Rachel, turning red.
"But it was icky!", whimpered Laura.
"WHAT THE #&%$! YOU DON'T TAKE OUT THE %%! PAGES! DON'T YOU KNOW HOW THE STORY ENDS!?!"
"Uhhh. . . ", cowered Laura. "No. . ."
"AERIS DIES!"
"Oops."
"What? Who dies?", asks Aeris.
"Uh, heh heh, nobody dies. . .", said Laura as she covered Rachel's still yelling mouth. "Look!", Laura hissed. "I've gotten this taken care of!" And the Highwind swooped down to the western coast of the continent, to the shore on the side of the desert.
"We're all gonna die, we're all gonna die, we're all gonna die. . .!", screamed Rachel.
"SHUT UP!", yelled Cid.
"Hey, I should know I wrote this thing!"
"I still don't believe it!"
"Let's do!", yelled Cloud as he left the ship. And Laura pulled a sobbing Rachel to the battle zone,
"Stop freaking out!", yelled Laura. "I have this under control!" And Rachel stopped and just looked at her. "There, that's better."
"I DON'T WANNA DIE!", Rachel continued screaming. Laura took her over to the beach, dragging her as she left scratch marks in the ground. And then they all saw the huge mass of something in the distance. It had gigantic arms, no feet, and two elongated heads with mouths that contained entirely teeth, sticking out like iron spikes.
"THIS IS YOUR WEAPON!", yelled Laura at Rachel. "YOU HAD TO BE INCOMPETENT AT EVERYTHING, BESIDES CREATING MONSTERS! I THOUGHT YOURS WOULD BE A FLUFFY BUNNY!"
"WELL WHAT!? WEAPON IS SUPPOSED TO BE FREAKY!"
"I. . . hate you. . ."
"Get ready!", yelled Red XIII. And all the members of AVALANCHE assumed their fighting stances, bearing all arms.
"Oh, crap. What are we supposed to defend ourselves with? Laura? Not again. . ."
"OH VINNIE WILL PROTECT ME! Won't you Vinnie?"
"YOU SAID YOU HAD THIS ALL TAKEN CARE OF!", yelled Rachel.
"I DO! DON'T RUIN THIS!", whispered back Laura.
"EERRAAHHAARRGGH!", yelled the Weapon.
"YOU SHUT UP!", yelled Rachel at the Weapon.
"IF YOU'RE GONNA SO SOMETHING, DO IT NOW!", Rachel yelled at Laura.
"AND WHY NOW!?", she yelled back.
"BEFORE AERIS DIES, STUPID!"
"How long is this gonna take?", asked Weapon.
"Yeah, we have some carnage and destruction to take care of.", said the other head.
"Hold on, we're almost done.", said Rachel.
"That thing talks?", asked Laura.
"Of course, I'm its creator."
"That doesn't mean anything."
"I like it if all the things I made talk. What?"
"God, you are so STUPID!"
"Just get rid of him before Aeris dies."
"Who dies?", asks Cloud and Aeris in unison.
"You do, now shut up. Get rid of it!", says Rachel.
"Heh heh, this'll be fun. . .", grinned Laura. And she wrote something down on the paper.
"EEEP!", yelled Weapon, as it rapidly shrunk in size.
"HAHA! Now I have a pet!", yelled Rachel maniacally. "Mom and dad can't say anything about this!" But Laura picked it up and squished it. "HEY! What was that for!"
"I wanted to kill it."
"Uh, have you two forgotten about us?", asked Yuffie between the arguments.
"OH I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU VINNIE!", screamed Laura as she pounced on him.
"CLOUDY, I WAS SO SCARED!", yelled Rachel as she ran and tackled him.
"THAT'S IT!", yelled Tifa. THWACK! Rachel was punched out cold. "And now for you. . ."
"Get back! I have the pen!", Laura yelled. And they all backed off, remembering how gruesomely she squished Weapon. "Haha! You will now all be my eternal slaves!", she said and she turned around to face Vincent. "And guess who'll be my love slave?!", she said in a singsong voice.
"Oh merciful Jesus!", he screamed. "If you had any say in this, smite me down now!" And there was nothing but silence. "Darn."
"And so it shall be written!" And she put the pen down on the paper, and they all winced. "Stupid pen. . . won't WRITE!"
"YEESSSS! GOD DOES LOVE ME!", cried Vincent.
"Uh, hi guys. . .", she said as she was being ganged up on. "How's it going? AAHHHHHHHHHH!" And all hell broke loose as they all jumped on her. By the time they were done, she lay there in a bloody heap on the ground twitching.
"Nice kick Tifa.", said Cloud.
"What are we supposed to do with them now?", asked Barret.
"On one hand, they are the most annoying things ever created on this planet.", said Aeris, and they all shook their heads in agreement. "But on the other hand, they DID save my life."
"You're not serious!", yelled Cid.
"Sorry Cid. . ."
"Cloud, she likes you, ya' gotta say somethin'!", pleaded Barret.
"I DO hate them. . .Especially this one.", he said as he kicked at Rachel's body. "But they DID save Aeris. . . I suppose we have to until they find a way to leave."
"Oh what hell has this man unleashed?", said Vincent. "Sigh...Let's take them back. . ." So they issued out a stretcher and piled Rachel and Laura onto it.
"Huh?", said Rachel, regaining consciousness. She looked around, and she was in Tifa's house. She could barely move, and had no idea what was going on. Cloud then walked in, and she tried to jump on him.
"Don't even try that." And when she looked, she was bound with chains.
"Okay, here's the deal. You are allowed to live with us." And he heard a high-pitched excited squeal from under her facial bandages. "But only because you saved Aeris. You WILL have to earn your keep here. And as for your friend. . .", he said as he turned around to Laura, who was completely bandaged and still twitching. "Will do the same. Got it?" Rachel nodded rapidly. "Good. Now get some rest. Your chores start tomorrow." And he heard a "SQUEE!" from under the bandages. "I'll take that as a yes. Good night." He left the room and shut the door. "Oh dear God, what have I done?"
HAH! Yeah that was bad. But next time WILL be better. Swear it.