My first fanfic! Yay! I actually typed this up before, but then my computer deleted it. Please tell me if you think the genre/rating is wrong or if you think I should have a different title or something. Before I forget, text means flashbacks, "text" means speech and 'text' means thoughts.

Blood ran in thick rivers from twin slices on each wrist and various other cuts, forming red puddles on the ground below the branch he was lying on, stomach down and face turned to the side. A breeze blew, brushing jet black hair in crimson eyes and chilling a bare chest. He didn't care, he was cold anyway. He was slowly dying of his own accord. He had left nothing up to chance this time. He was dying, but he didn't care. There was nothing left to live for.
"Yukina." A rasping whisper that was soon swirled away.
'She would still be alive if I had been there.'
They were climbing up the hill on their latest mission. Nothing was out of the ordinary until Botan flew in on her oar.
"Hiei. Come with me, now." Her voice held none of its usual pep. It was so out of the ordinary Hiei didn't respond for a few seconds.
"Hiei. Now."
"Hn," was all Hiei said, but he hopped on anyway.
"What." They were whipping through the air now.
"It's Yukina. She's ill"
They landed outside the temple and Hiei rushed to Yukina's room. She was so beautiful and pale lying on the futon, eyes closed, long lashes faintly glistening with moisture of barely suppressed tears of agony. She looked like a china doll that could be shattered with but a touch.
"Yukina," He whispered, kneeling beside her. Yukina's breath was coming in shallow gasps and Hiei could tell she was in pain.
"Hiei-san." She smiled a sweet smile and turned her head to face him, her thick eyelashes fluttering as she opened her eyes with difficulty.
"Shhhh, don't talk. You need to rest." He gingerly brushed away a strand of turquoise hair.
"Please, stay with me, Hiei-san."
"I will. I promise." He clutched her frail hand in both of his. He stayed like that for fifteen minutes, watching her, until Botan came into the room.
"Go away," Hiei growled.
"I'm here to take her."
"No!" He wheeled around. "You can't." tears filled his eyes, choked him. The same tears were in Botan's eyes.
"I'm sorry Hiei. Really. But… I have to."
"No!" Yukina's hand grew cold. She was gone. Dead.
'I should have been there.' Tears formed and dripped down over the bridge of his nose, crystallizing to become perfect ebony spheres.
'I'll be there for you now… don't worry. It's the least I can do. I was never there for you before, I'll be there for you now.'
"You can come back you know, Yukina," informed Koenma.
"I know, but I can't help but think that... maybe my brother is here. He wasn't anywhere in Nigenkai, and I can't help but wonder if maybe he was killed. Hiei-san was always reluctant to tell me anything about onissan, so… I want to look for him here."
Koenma sighed. "All right. But if you change your mind you can come back. However, that option is only available for one month. After that, you're stuck here."
"Arigato, Koenma-sama."
'If I had just told her she would have come back. I knew she would've accepted me. That's not why I wouldn't tell her. It's because even if no one else sees it that way, I'd be a blemish on her pure heart. Everyone says I choose to forget the good I've done. It's not that. It's that the bad outweighs the good. I thought maybe Yukina knew. She's not stupid, or naïve like people think. Now I know she didn't know. Now she will.'
"Hiei!" Kurama's voice cut through Hiei's muddled thoughts.
'How did he find me? I have to run.'

There you go! My first chapter of my first fic! I'll try and update soon. Please, R&R! Any comments or suggestions would be helpful.

This chapter has been revised as of 1/9/05