Chapter 4: Weapons shopping
Note: Squaresoft owns this. Or maybe I do. What do you think? But Laura is
owned by LadyTifa26, thus her permission is granted! SO NO PROBLEMS HERE!
"Vincent, I think you go get her.", said Cloud. "Me?! Why me?" "She likes you." "That's precisely why I'm NOT getting her." "But neither of us have rope, Tifa's slightly acrophobic, and I can't swim well." "What a wimp. . .", mumbled Vincent. He took of his boots, cloak, and shirt, and jumped over. And he also gave a 10-point landing while doing so. He wrangled the river chocobo out of its frenzy and untied Laura, and he rode it back up to the beach, then up to the cliff where the others sat. Laura was waterlogged and blue, gasping madly for air, muttering curses under her breath for Dwight, the river chocobo she was riding.
"Vinnie. . .I knew you'd save me...Stupid river chocobo. . . It HAD to take a swim while I was on its back, LYING DOWN!!!"
"Are you okay?", asked Tifa.
"Yeah, I'm GREAT! I JUST HAPPENED TO BE STRAPPED TO AN IDIOT CHOCOBO AND FALL OFF A CLIFF, AND YOU ASK IF I'M OKAY!!!?", she yelled.
"Jesus, calm down! You should at least be happy I'm not on your case."
"Hey, while you're in such a great mood, could you do something for me?"
"What?"
"Could you remove the rock stabbing my spleen, then stem the blood flow? I'm feeling woozy. . . Ugh..."
"Uh oh. She's unconscious. . ."
"Yeah, you can take care of it.", said Vincent, and he promptly dropped her.
Laura was cured, although still unconscious and muttering "Vinnie. . ." as she became delusional, and strapped her back on. "Ooh, pretty colors. . ."
"Do you think she'll be fine?", asked Rachel, poking her with a stick.
"If we're lucky, no.", said Vincent.
Cosmo Canyon was within sight, across the sun-scorched desert, and they rode to the front entrance, and they saw that weird guy who always stays out there.
"Do they ever let him go to the bathroom?", asked Rachel.
"Hey Cloud! I see you brought your, ahem, 'friends'.", greeted Red XIII.
"Hey, Red. We're here to give them work equipment. They'll be working for us in return for their stay."
"What kind of equipment?"
"Stuff like weapons for the monsters."
"Are you sure you trust them with sharp objects?", he asked, watching Rachel still poking Laura with a stick.
"Of course I don't."
"Then why give them weapons?"
"Maybe we'll be lucky enough for them do dispose of themselves. . ."
"God willing. . . Come on, we'll go to the general store first."
"Hi there! What'll you be needing?", asked the storekeeper.
"Oh, Tifa, this might take a while, so you go and take them to get materia."
"Got it." And she led them to the materia store next door.
"Ooooh! Shiny!", said Laura, breaking out of her delusion at the sight of all the materia. "Hey, why's the guy asleep?"
"I dunno.", said Rachel. "Hey, if he's asleep, why do we even have to pay him?"
"STOP THAT!", yelled Tifa. Rachel was poking him with the stick, and Laura was shoveling all the materia she could find into a bag.
"Whatever you say, Madam PMS. . .", said Rachel.
"Look, I've got the materia, I'll just leave the money on the counter.", said Tifa the sleeping guy. "I SAID QUIT IT!", yelled Tifa to Laura, who was drawing a moustache on the man.
"Cloud we're finished.", said Tifa as she dragged the unconscious bodies of Laura and Rachel out of the store.
"What happened? I felt the ground shake."
"Just taking care of some business. . .", said Tifa while hiding her piko mallet.
"Well, I've gotten everything we need here. Let's go get their weapons."
"WWHHEEEEE!", they squealed when they received their weapons. Rachel received a katana, and Laura received a staff. They were dueling back and forth, and the others just watched.
"Why does it feel as if I've given scissors to hyperactive children?", asked Cloud.
"More like rabid monkeys and knives.", said Tifa, watching Laura pretend to get stabbed and die melodramatically. "Okay, this is how you insert your materia.", said Vincent. "You put them in the slots shown." And he put a green materia into Rachel's Titan bangle.
"YAY! It's like jewelry, but with DESTRUCTIVE POWER! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!", she foamed. "Now, I can take over the world! I shall become Sephiroth's protégé!"
"As if, I'd give you a destructive materia.", said Tifa. "That one you have on is a Time materia."
"Darn."
"Ooh! What do I have?", asked Laura.
"That's a heal materia. I noticed that so far in 2 days, every 15 min. you're getting some form of injury. Here are the other materias, at least one of each, your items, and. . .", she said as she reached for something in a bag. "Your PHSs"
"COOLNESS!", shrieked Rachel. "Hello, I'd like to order a pizza. . ."
"Who the hell is this?!", said Cid.
"Cid? You work at Domino's?"
"STOPPIT!", yelled Tifa, and she quickly grabbed the PHS and turned it off. "Now as for your summon materia. You have to be careful with this stuff."
"Oops.", said Laura as hers began to glow.
"OOPS!? WHAT'S OOPS!?", she yelled. And somewhere in the pasture around there, a mog on a chocobo was running towards Cosmo Canyon.
"Hmm, nothing happened. What a rip.", said Laura. BOOM! A chocobo charged in with a mog, ran everyone over, picked the mog back up and ran. "Ouch. . .", she said with a chocobo print on her face.
"HAHA! TAKE THIS!", shouted Rachel to Laura as she was practicing her Fire materia, and Laura was practicing her Ice. They were leaving Cosmo Canyon, and returning to Nibelheim.
"NOT ON CHOCOBOS", yelled Cloud. Rachel hit Laura's chocobo, and set it on fire, and the chocobo ran off the cliff again.
"WHY?!?!?", shouted Vincent up into the sky. "WHY MUST I REPENT FOR MY SINS THIS WAY?! EBOLA VIRUS WOULD BE MUCH KINDER!"
piko mallet-mallet in anime that they just seem to whip out outta nowhere.
Hideeho there. I know this probably gets worse every time I update it, but you should notice I update this pretty frequently. So, yeah, that's about all I have to say.
"Vincent, I think you go get her.", said Cloud. "Me?! Why me?" "She likes you." "That's precisely why I'm NOT getting her." "But neither of us have rope, Tifa's slightly acrophobic, and I can't swim well." "What a wimp. . .", mumbled Vincent. He took of his boots, cloak, and shirt, and jumped over. And he also gave a 10-point landing while doing so. He wrangled the river chocobo out of its frenzy and untied Laura, and he rode it back up to the beach, then up to the cliff where the others sat. Laura was waterlogged and blue, gasping madly for air, muttering curses under her breath for Dwight, the river chocobo she was riding.
"Vinnie. . .I knew you'd save me...Stupid river chocobo. . . It HAD to take a swim while I was on its back, LYING DOWN!!!"
"Are you okay?", asked Tifa.
"Yeah, I'm GREAT! I JUST HAPPENED TO BE STRAPPED TO AN IDIOT CHOCOBO AND FALL OFF A CLIFF, AND YOU ASK IF I'M OKAY!!!?", she yelled.
"Jesus, calm down! You should at least be happy I'm not on your case."
"Hey, while you're in such a great mood, could you do something for me?"
"What?"
"Could you remove the rock stabbing my spleen, then stem the blood flow? I'm feeling woozy. . . Ugh..."
"Uh oh. She's unconscious. . ."
"Yeah, you can take care of it.", said Vincent, and he promptly dropped her.
Laura was cured, although still unconscious and muttering "Vinnie. . ." as she became delusional, and strapped her back on. "Ooh, pretty colors. . ."
"Do you think she'll be fine?", asked Rachel, poking her with a stick.
"If we're lucky, no.", said Vincent.
Cosmo Canyon was within sight, across the sun-scorched desert, and they rode to the front entrance, and they saw that weird guy who always stays out there.
"Do they ever let him go to the bathroom?", asked Rachel.
"Hey Cloud! I see you brought your, ahem, 'friends'.", greeted Red XIII.
"Hey, Red. We're here to give them work equipment. They'll be working for us in return for their stay."
"What kind of equipment?"
"Stuff like weapons for the monsters."
"Are you sure you trust them with sharp objects?", he asked, watching Rachel still poking Laura with a stick.
"Of course I don't."
"Then why give them weapons?"
"Maybe we'll be lucky enough for them do dispose of themselves. . ."
"God willing. . . Come on, we'll go to the general store first."
"Hi there! What'll you be needing?", asked the storekeeper.
"Oh, Tifa, this might take a while, so you go and take them to get materia."
"Got it." And she led them to the materia store next door.
"Ooooh! Shiny!", said Laura, breaking out of her delusion at the sight of all the materia. "Hey, why's the guy asleep?"
"I dunno.", said Rachel. "Hey, if he's asleep, why do we even have to pay him?"
"STOP THAT!", yelled Tifa. Rachel was poking him with the stick, and Laura was shoveling all the materia she could find into a bag.
"Whatever you say, Madam PMS. . .", said Rachel.
"Look, I've got the materia, I'll just leave the money on the counter.", said Tifa the sleeping guy. "I SAID QUIT IT!", yelled Tifa to Laura, who was drawing a moustache on the man.
"Cloud we're finished.", said Tifa as she dragged the unconscious bodies of Laura and Rachel out of the store.
"What happened? I felt the ground shake."
"Just taking care of some business. . .", said Tifa while hiding her piko mallet.
"Well, I've gotten everything we need here. Let's go get their weapons."
"WWHHEEEEE!", they squealed when they received their weapons. Rachel received a katana, and Laura received a staff. They were dueling back and forth, and the others just watched.
"Why does it feel as if I've given scissors to hyperactive children?", asked Cloud.
"More like rabid monkeys and knives.", said Tifa, watching Laura pretend to get stabbed and die melodramatically. "Okay, this is how you insert your materia.", said Vincent. "You put them in the slots shown." And he put a green materia into Rachel's Titan bangle.
"YAY! It's like jewelry, but with DESTRUCTIVE POWER! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!", she foamed. "Now, I can take over the world! I shall become Sephiroth's protégé!"
"As if, I'd give you a destructive materia.", said Tifa. "That one you have on is a Time materia."
"Darn."
"Ooh! What do I have?", asked Laura.
"That's a heal materia. I noticed that so far in 2 days, every 15 min. you're getting some form of injury. Here are the other materias, at least one of each, your items, and. . .", she said as she reached for something in a bag. "Your PHSs"
"COOLNESS!", shrieked Rachel. "Hello, I'd like to order a pizza. . ."
"Who the hell is this?!", said Cid.
"Cid? You work at Domino's?"
"STOPPIT!", yelled Tifa, and she quickly grabbed the PHS and turned it off. "Now as for your summon materia. You have to be careful with this stuff."
"Oops.", said Laura as hers began to glow.
"OOPS!? WHAT'S OOPS!?", she yelled. And somewhere in the pasture around there, a mog on a chocobo was running towards Cosmo Canyon.
"Hmm, nothing happened. What a rip.", said Laura. BOOM! A chocobo charged in with a mog, ran everyone over, picked the mog back up and ran. "Ouch. . .", she said with a chocobo print on her face.
"HAHA! TAKE THIS!", shouted Rachel to Laura as she was practicing her Fire materia, and Laura was practicing her Ice. They were leaving Cosmo Canyon, and returning to Nibelheim.
"NOT ON CHOCOBOS", yelled Cloud. Rachel hit Laura's chocobo, and set it on fire, and the chocobo ran off the cliff again.
"WHY?!?!?", shouted Vincent up into the sky. "WHY MUST I REPENT FOR MY SINS THIS WAY?! EBOLA VIRUS WOULD BE MUCH KINDER!"
piko mallet-mallet in anime that they just seem to whip out outta nowhere.
Hideeho there. I know this probably gets worse every time I update it, but you should notice I update this pretty frequently. So, yeah, that's about all I have to say.