A/N
Disclaimer: If I owned these characters I would probably have a deal with a publisher and would not be writing on websites. Sadly I don't, so I am.
This bears a few similarities to other fics about lists/Hermione/Snape but to my knowledge I haven't totally nicked the plot off anyone else.
It was the day after the end of the Christmas holidays. In the corner of the Gryffindor common room Ron and Harry were playing chess. Hermione (studying for NEWTs, as usual) noticed they were playing it even more than normal recently. She gingerly rubbed her bushy-haired head and grimaced. She hadn't had much sleep with all the partying that had gone on after Voldemort's downfall ten days ago. No one talked of him anymore. Harry seemed generally happy, though he was still bitter and felt lonely after Sirius' death two years ago.
Her eyes scanned the book in front of her, but she wasn't concentrating properly. Her head was full of thoughts nothing to do with studying. Harry – great wizard. Snape – gotta love the git. Dumbledore – be dead without him. Ron – idiot, but means well. Ginny – brilliant friend. Fudge – arrogant bastard.
She had described nearly every wizard she knew in this manner before realising NEWTs were only six months away and she had wasted half an hour of perfectly good revision time.
Parvati, Lavender, Neville, Seamus and Ginny came over and began whispering urgently to Harry and Ron. Suddenly, the lot of them erupted into fits of laughter.
"I'm trying to study here!" Hermione said indignantly. They turned around to face her and placed a piece of parchment on top of her book.
Out With A Bang Competition
The idea is to see who will be remembered longest for being the most exciting seventh year student.
#1 Students wishing to enter must be seventh years
#2 The winner will be announced at the graduation ceremony
#3 Judged by Messrs. Fred and George Weasley
#4 Your dare will be decided by a fellow student in an appointed place, at an appointed time
#5 A dare can consist of anything, unless life threatening
#6 Miss Ginevra Weasley will judge whether something is life threatening or not
#7 BEWARE: we'll know if you cheat!
#8: Good luck!
Hermione snorted.
"That's got to be the stupidest idea ever. Why were you laughing so hard, anyway?" Harry looked nervously around and said:
"Um...well...that would just be our ideas for some, uh, dares..." he trailed off.
"Come on, Hermione, I'm overseeing it, it will be fun!" exclaimed Ginny. "You need to lighten up sometimes! Oh, and read this." She produced a smaller scrap of parchment.
Seventh years wishing to enter will meet in the Room of Requirement at midnight tonight – Friday January 4th. Dares will be chosen, etc. Bring your wands.
"Well, I sincerely hope you're not forcing me to participate in this rubbish." Lavender and Parvati began giggling uncontrollably.
"Please, 'Mione!" Ron said excitedly. "You can keep check on me and Harry. Ginny's going to be there – it will be fun!" There was obviously something they weren't telling her. She sighed.
"Alright then. But you owe me big time. If I wasn't in such a decent mood after last week I'd say no for sure, but... well... OK..."
The gang (minus Hermione) went back to whispering in their corner. She sighed. There was a funny sensation beginning in her stomach that told her she'd just made a massive mistake.
The Room of Requirement had become a large, circular space lined with cushions for the meeting. Hermione's uneasy feeling tripled when she noticed the gang of Slytherins.
"Harry! Why the hell didn't you tell me those gits would be here?" Harry instinctively cowered back.
"Well...look Hermione, I'm really sorry...I knew you wouldn't come otherwise..." She stormed towards the exit, but it had sealed itself. Everyone was present.
"Damn. Damn. Damn. Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, I am going to KILL you!"
Ginny got to her feet hesitantly.
"Well," she began, "You all know why we're here, I guess... I'm kind of representing Fred and George – I'm gonna make sure none of you guys cheat or anything. OK. Everyone put your wands in front of you. Right. POINT US!"
The circle was illuminated with eight colours between the wands.
"Now," Ginny continued, "Whoever has the same colour as you at the end of their wand is your partner. Go and stand by them." Hermione had a feeling she knew what Ginny was going to say next. She groaned when she saw Pansy Parkinson heading for her. Harry had got Draco and Ron, Goyle. As if on cue, Ginny said, "Your partner will decide your dare and you your partner's." Hermione's feelings were turning out correct too often for her liking. Pansy grinned ecstatically.
"When I point to you, you will tell me your partner's dare. This dicto-quill will record the exact terms of the dare for future reference. Anyone wanting to take a look should come and see me. By the way, these dares last up to graduation. There's no backing out. You were under oath from the second you stepped into this room. When everyone's finished I will cast a second spell to make sure you keep exactly to the terms of your dare. Most of you know my hexing ability – I would not like to have to demonstrate. Please keep to the rules.
"Right, I think that's the formalities out the way. You first then, Terry." The Ravenclaw prefect looked up and said:
"Lavender has to tell Flitwick at least once a lesson she has foreseen that they will be married and have nine children." Everyone sniggered and Lavender gave Terry a death glare.
"OK," said Ginny. "Lavender next." She pointed to the blonde witch.
"Terry must insist he's allergic to Hagrid and run away sneezing every time he sees him." Ginny turned to her brother.
"Goyle," Ron said, grinning, "has to stand on the Slytherin dinner table at least once a week and declare his undying love for Madame Hooch in the form of a self-written poem. All the teachers must be able to hear and Madame Hooch must be present." Malfoy whispered something in his bodyguard's ear before his turn and he turned to Ron, saying confidently:
"Ron has to yell a random statement such as, 'Rabbits do not eat chocolate cake' at every single meal – and he has to attend every meal – so the teachers can hear. He will give hints that he needs mental treatment every now and then." Ginny's finger moved to Blaise Zambini.
"Seamus must decorate every Transfiguration essay with love hearts and on the bottom write: 'by Seamus Finnegan, who is madly in love with Minerva McGonagall'. He is to do this even if he is told not to, even if he is given detentions or loses points." Seamus turned brick-red and retorted:
"Blaise is going to fake falling asleep at the beginning of every Herbology lesson, and will refuse to wake up even if prodded, yelled at, or tickled." The dicto-quill finished scribbling and Ginny's finger moved on again.
"Ernie," began Padma Patil, "must spend every Wednesday and Saturday in total silence. If he wants to answer a question in class he must write it down."
"Padma," Ernie said, dumbstruck at his not-evil dare, "Has to suck her thumb in Potions. She must not stop under any circumstances until she is completely out of the door. If the potion requires using two hands, she must get someone to do those bits for her."
Harry was almost shaking at the thought of what Malfoy would make him do, so he made his partner's dare as funny and unkind as possible while he had the chance.
"Draco," he smirked, "must stand on the table with Goyle while he does his dare, then when he's finished he must sing at least two verses of a love song to him and beg him to love him and not Hooch. He must ask him to marry him." The Gryffindors laughed loudly, Malfoy scowled and Goyle – did he just blush?!
"Harry," Draco said venomously, "must ridiculously faint at least once a week in the middle of dinner, clasping his scar and yelling: 'He's back! He's back! Mummy, Daddy, help me!'" It was the Slytherins' turn to laugh now. Ginny looked sympathetically at Harry before pointing to Parvati. The dares were starting to get embarrassing.
"Loony – oops, I mean Luna – must never stop wearing a t-shirt depicting one of those Crumple-Horned Snorkack thingys. She must loudly explain to someone at least once a day that 'yes, they do exist – really!' She must try to sell one of these t-shirts to someone at least once a week. One of these people must be Dumbledore." Luna scowled, obviously about to start defending the Snorkacks' existence, when Ginny interrupted.
"Luna? Parvati's dare, please." Still looking daggers at anyone foolish enough to snigger, Luna said:
"Parvati must do a strip-tease in front of the teacher's table during dinner. Dumbledore and Snape must be present. When she is naked, she will give Snape a lap dance. Between now and graduation, she must do this three times." Parvati's grin fell promptly.
"WHAT?!" she yelled, pouncing at Luna. The two girls were on the floor fighting, until someone had the good sense to put them both in a body-bind. Ginny said simply:
"Ignore them," and pointed to Neville.
"Err," he stuttered, "Once Goyle has done his dare, Crabbe must jump on the table and wait for Draco to do his bit. Then he must very loudly announce his homosexuality and snog Draco and Goyle. He must do this every time the others do it." The non-Slytherins started wetting themselves thinking of what would be happening at mealtimes soon. Crabbe, with his fat fists clenched, began:
"Neville must tell Snape at least once a lesson that he invented Veritaserum and is only pretending to be crap at potions." Poor Neville looked ready to faint, but Hermione thought he had got off fairly lightly. Hermione began inadvertently trembling as it neared her turn. First, though, she got to do Pansy's dare.
"Pansy has to watch Crabbe's dare, then jump on the table herself and yell 'How could you?! I thought you loved me!" at Crabbe, throw food at everyone and run out sobbing." Gods, Hermione thought, even if I have to snog FILCH it'll be worth it to see this little episode every week! Pansy blanched and then recovered, grinning evilly again.
"Hermione must snog Snape passionately at the beginning of every potions lesson. She must blow him kisses suggestively whenever she catches his eye or passes him in the corridor. When she gets an essay back from him, she must sit on his lap, throw her arms around him and thank him whole-heartedly for her grades."
Hermione glanced around at the horrified expressions on all but the Slytherins' faces. She felt about ready to faint herself.
A/N
This is my fist fic, so don't be too harsh. I know it's awful! I don't have a beta or anything so there's probably a lot of mistakes – though I've corrected as much as possible.
Anyways please please please R&R! I welcome (constructive) criticism too so whatever.
Love you guys!!