Chapter 6: Let the Spy Games Begin

Note: Yeah it's official. I'm running out of ideas. But never fear, I'll
come up with something. Soon. I swear. This belongs to Squaresoft. And
Laura belongs to LadyTifa26. Why? Well, they're one in the same, THAT'S
WHY!!

"Hold still Vinnie. . .", whispered Laura looking into the sight of a tranquilizer gun. She could see Vincent through the window of the Shinra mansion, and she aimed directly for his neck.
"Laura?"
"WAUGH!" Laura screamed and let off the shot, and it hit a squirrel, knocking it clear out of a tree.
"Rachel?!?"
"Quiet! I'm spying. . ."
"On who?" She pointed to Cloud's backyard, where Cloud and a girl sat. "It's just Cloud and Tifa. . ."
"No, it's Tifa and my future husband!"
"You ARE delusional."
"Yeah, well I don't hunt down people with tranq guns. WHERE did you get that?"
"I found it under Vinnie's bed."
"Uh, now tell me why you were even in there in the first place."
"The reason for any noble goal of a fan girl. To at least see the bedroom of her future husband!"
"You ARE delusional"
"Who's delusional?"
"WAUGH! VINCENT?!", yelled Rachel as she was taken completely by surprise. "Jesus! Why do you do that? And why are you here?"

"I was about to ask the same."
"I'm spying and Laura is hunting you down with your own gun. Now what good excuse do YOU have for being out at midnight?" He merely glared at her statement, and sat down. "Now SHHH! I must see what happens next. . ." Cloud and Tifa moved closer and kissed. "NO! THAT'S MY FUTURE HUSBAND YOU'RE KISSING THERE, MISSY!" THWOT! Laura fired a tranq into her neck to shut her up.
"Cloud, did you hear something?", asked Tifa. "It sounded like a badger on drugs."
"Badgers? There are Nibel Wolves and Nibel Dragons, but no badgers.", he replied.
"Okay. . ." And they started kissing again.
"I knew I would be using this.", said Laura as she polished the scope of her gun.
"Why do you have my gun?", asked Vincent.
"Uh, er. . ." THOT! She hit him in the neck as well. "HAH! I've bagged me a Vincent!"
"Cloud, the noise is coming from above your house.", said Tifa.
"Oh, crap.", said Laura, trying to move both Rachel and Vincent.
"HEY! Who's that on my roof?!", yelled Cloud.
"Uhhh, nobody here but us squirrels and repairmen!", said Laura.
"Laura? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!", yelled Tifa.
"Eh, heh heh. . ."

"Okay, talk.", said Tifa, who strapped Laura to an interrogation chair under a bright lamp in a dark room.
"Well, it's a long story really. . ."
"We have all night to hear your story."
"Have I mentioned that you look lovely under bright piercing lights?"
"Talk."
"But. . .I am."
"EXPLAIN NOW!"
"Eeek. . . Well, you see, I wasn't spying. SHE was spying." Rachel shot a look of anger back at Laura, knowing that when this was over, she was doomed unless she bailed them out. "Who uh, WAS LOOKING FOR ALIENS!"
"Wrong answer."
"Can you tell me what the answer is then?"
"We already know you were spying."
"Then why are you interrogating me?"
"Because we are here to hear your explanation."
"You're not getting anything outta me, sister." Tifa just glared at her name and walked around her chair for a while.
"Well then, if you won't talk, maybe you will.", she said, now circling Rachel's chair.
"Can I go to the bathroom first?", asked Rachel.
"Are you gonna tell me what's going on?"
"No, probably not."
"Then we are forced to bring in the heavy artillery."
"HAHA! BRING IT ON!"
"Rachel, I don't think it's wise to do that."
"Come on, they don't have anything." Tifa wheels in two television screens and turns them on.
"HAHAHAHA! Behold, your ultimate demise!" She turns on the TVs and the Teletubbies are on.
"AAAAHHHNNNOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S HORRIBLE! AHHH! AHHH! AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Losing. . .sanity. . .losing. . .free will. ." The lights flicker on to reveal Aeris, who is looking at Tifa with a look of annoyance, and yet at the same time was bewildered.
"Tifa, why are you strapping them down here in the kitchen? And why are you showing them teletubbies? Even Sephiroth doesn't deserve that!"
"They were spying on me and Cloud."
"Wait, YOU and Cloud?" Aeris turned around and looked at him. "YOU and Tifa?"
"Uh well, you know it's late and she is a little angry uh. . .pie anyone?", he said nervously. "I'm just gonna go now. . ."
"Tifa, let them go. I'LL deal with them."
"Sigh, okay but just because I trust you." Tifa walks up the stairs to her bedroom, put whispers something to Aeris on her way past. "But if they get out of hand, I've got that marathon on tape."
"Let's get you thinking like regular human beings here.", said Aeris as she unplugged the TVs.
"Huh? Oh my God! I can think again!", exclaimed Laura as she woke up. "Rachel, are you okay?"
"Tele. . .tubbies. . .hee hee. . .", she said as if she were in her own little world.
"Oh no, she been brainwashed!", screamed Laura. "Rachel! Snap out of it!"
"Don't worry, I can cure her.", said Aeris. She walked up the stairs and then came back down with one of Rachel's shirtless Cloud pictures, and put it in front of Rachel's face.
"CLOUDY! SQUEE!", cried Rachel, who then broke out of her bonds and tried to grab the poster.
"HEY NOW! HOLD ON! I have something I want you two to do for me. . ."

"WHAT?! SPY?!", cried Rachel and Laura in unison.
"Yes."
"But why?"
"I need to see where Cloud's loyalty lies. With either me, or Tifa."
"So I see you want to know what the answer is to the whole love triangle thing if you weren't first killed by Sephiroth.", said Rachel.
"Exactly. But be very discreet, and when you aren't checking their movements, make sure you get information by just tricking them into answering your questions."
"Wow, Aeris asking us to spy? I thought you were nice."
"I can't be nice all the time. Now will you do it?"
"What's in it for us?", asked Laura with a greedy smile.
"What is it you want?"
"Now THAT'S the right answer. Personally, I want Vincent, but if you can't do that, I'll take whatever it is that I think of when I find it. Now what do I want other than Vinnie. . ."
"And what about you?", asked Aeris to Rachel.
"What I want? ULTIMATE POWER!", she yelled.
"SHH! Something I can give you."
"So I guess Cloud is out of the question then, huh? Then I just want hmmm, no I can't take the Highwind. Umm, how about some other FF7 bishonen?"
"Can't do that either."
"Geez, you can't really offer much."
"How much gil do you want?"
"Okay, NOW I'm listening."
"I can offer about 50,000 gil."
"50,000! How much gil do you REALLY have?"
"That's pretty much all I have. You can have the gil whether or not Cloud picks me or Tifa. All I really want to know is whether he loves me. That's all that matters."
"Wow, that was kinda pretty.", said Laura. "But we'll take your offer."
"Good. I'll arrange for someone to help you with your sneaking techniques. You're not going to last long if you keep getting caught like tonight. Oh and Rachel. . ."
"What?"
"Can I have this shirtless Cloud picture?"
"Sigh. Fine. But that's just because we share the room."
"YAY! SHIRTLESS CLOUD!", she squealed.
"Well, THAT is one thing I never thought I'd hear Aeris say."
"Uh, Rachel?"
"What?"
"What happened to Vincent?" THUD! They saw a dark figure in a cloak roll off the roof.
"Well, I think he USED to be on the roof."
"Ouch."

Yeah, you're probably wondering where I got this idea. I have no idea where I got it, so DO NOT ask me what I was thinking. And as always, I'll try and update soon.