Chapter 10 p.2: Icicle Inn Note: Of course, this has permission granted from LadyTifa26, and hopefully from Sadie or Sephiroth1Ripley8 whatever name she prefers to use . I can't completely remember her pen name, so it might be wrong. And yes, also this
is owned by Squaresoft. ENJOY THE FIC!
"Is everyone ready?" Cloud stepped out of the cabana with a load of suitcases and a Hawaiian shirt, and Laura was tripping along behind him with an unusual reddish like blush on her cheeks.
"I'M SSHUURRE READY CLOUDDD. . .", she said in a slurred voice.
"Uh, Rachel?", asked Cloud.
"Er, what?", she replied in a nervous tone.
"Why is she drunk?"
"Drunk? What is this drunk you speak of?"
"You know, drunk. Wasted."
"Um, looooong story." Tifa and Aeris also began tripping out of the cabana, and Cloud just looked strangely at her, then angry.
"WHY?!"
"Well, we went out for daiquiris and well. . ."
"HIC!" Vincent also came tripping out with his bandanna on tied on his waist and his boxers on his head, and in all other respects, he was completely naked.
"Oooohhhh hheeyy Viinn(hic!)iiiee!", said Laura, tripping forward to hug and snuggle up against him, and he was so drunk to even mind.
"CLLOOOUUDDDY!", said Both of Tifa and Aeris, beginning to hang all over Cloud.
"RACHEL!", Cloud yelled.
"Well what?! Vincent was so down last night, we took him to the bar and well, I'm only fourteen so they wouldn't let me drink. But it was fun, you should've joined us for strip poker."
"STRIP POKER!?"
"Uh heh heh, yeahhhh. . ."
"Wait, then why is Laura drunk? She's only 18!"
"Well, actually to my mistake she's 17. It appears I don't even know her age."
"Wow, what an interesting friendship you must have if you don't even know each other's AGE. Now why is SHE drunk?!", he asked, pointing straight at Laura who was poking at a drunk and unconscious Tifa collapsed on the ground."
"She won at strip poker and was allowed to drink as much as she pleased.", said Rachel, now slowly backing away.
"AND WHO MADE UP THAT PRIZE?!", he shouted.
"EEP! Well, uh, actually, Aeris did.", said Rachel. Aeris was bent over a bush, throwing up.
"Well THAT'S new. A drunk Aeris."
"YEP! FUN!", said Rachel, giving the "V for victory" sign.
"OKAY! FINE! WE'RE STILL LEAVING THOUGH!", shouted Cloud because he didn't want all the packing to go to waste.
"But tell me one thing. . .", said Cloud.
"What?"
"If you were having drunken strip poker, why didn't you invite ME?"
"Meh. Couldn't find you. Although We COULD play strip poker in THERE.", said Rachel, pointing into the cabana. "Oh wait. No we couldn't. Aeris already threw up in there. Oh well. . . Cloudy?" He was already doing a little dance, because every time it seems something comes up where it involves her "habits", God intervenes.
"THANK YOU GOD!", he cried into the heavens.
"Okay, easy.", said Rachel, helping Tifa onto her chocobo. "What happens if you're the drunk driver on a chocobo? Is some sort of traffic police Shinra soldier going to pull you over?" FWUMP! Tifa fell off.
"Ohhh shoot."
"OKEEDOKEE THEN!", said Vincent, pulling out his gun in a still heavily drunken state.
"NO! WAIT!", yelled Cloud. BLAM! The shot hit Cloud, but he didn't even seem fazed. "Ouch."
"Huh?", said Rachel, walking over to him and just looking at the minuscule scratch marks. "I always wondered why that if you get shout or cut up by a sword, you don't immediately die."
"Yeah, well it comes in handy.", said Cloud. SHOOF! All of a sudden, Cloud's pants fell to his ankles, and then flew off.
"I GOT EM'! YESSSS!", shouted Laura, running off with both Cloud's and Vincent's pants.
"I think perhaps she's still thinking that we're still playing strip poker.", said Rachel with a sweat drop.
"HEY! GIVE THOSE BACK!", screamed Cloud, chasing Laura all across the world map.
"HUZZAH! WE ARE HERE!", said Rachel as they entered Icicle Inn. Cloud never DID get his pants back, and he was freezing.
"Can I PLEASE have my pants back?", he asked to Laura.
"Huh? Oh yeah, the pants. . . Wait, what pants?", she said, sobering up.
"Oh that's right, she won't remember because she was drunk.", said Vincent, also now sober. "But can I at least have my cloak back?"
"NO! MY CLOAK FROM VINNIE!", said Laura, clutching it tightly, snuggling her head lovingly into it. "Vinnie. . ."
"Where are my pants then?", asked Cloud. He looked over and saw Rachel tightly grasping onto it and sucking her thumb. He reached over to take it.
"HIIISSSSSSSSS!!", hissed Rachel, bearing her teeth.
"FINE THEN!", said Cloud, pulling out another pair of pants and changing.
"Uh Cloud?", said Tifa, also sober.
"What?"
"Why are you changing in the middle of town?" Everybody in the town were giving him strange looks, and some people even dropped whatever they were carrying.
"Uh, heh heh heh. . .", he laughed nervously.
"Yes, three rooms please.", said Cloud at the front desk.
"Oh, so it's one room for him.", said the desk clerk, referring to Vincent. "One room for them.", he also said looking at Laura and Rachel. "And one room for both you and those two ladies? I'm guessing from their current state, you MUST be quite advantageous."
"What?" He turned around, and Aeris was still very drunk, and Tifa grabbed the bottle of sake out of Aeris' hand and took a large swig of it.
"HEY! NO MORE OF THAT!", he yelled at them, swiping the sake out of their hand.
"Ohhhh, but CL(hic) OUDY!", said Tifa, hanging off of him, holding his head VERY close to her breasts. "If you give me that, I'll do something VERY special for youuuuu!", she said in a sing song voice.
"Oh, and don't (hic!) forget abboutt meeeeee!", said Aeris, whispering and now sticking her tongue in his ear, also gliding her hand across his chest.
"AHEM!", coughed the desk clerk.
"Don't bother him, he's too far gone already.", said Rachel with an exasperated look on her face. He had this look of extreme pleasure on his visage, and Rachel quickly snapped a branch off of a potted plant in the inn.
"SNAP OUT OF IT!" WHACK!
"YOWCH!"
"Good, your back out of it.", said Rachel, dragging him by his ear to the front desk. "NOW PAY UP!", she yelled.
"Fine, fine. . . But we're only here out of the kindness of my heart, remember?", he said, shelling out a few hundred gil.
"No, we're here out of extortion and blackmail.", she said. "AND THAT'S WHAT THIS VACATION IS GONNA BE ALL ABOUT!"
"But remember, I can always just take you back to Nibelheim.", he warned. "LOOKY LOOKY!", said Rachel, waving the picture in front of his face.
"HAH! GOT IT!", he exclaimed, snatching it from her grip.
"Oh, Cloudy, I'm not as so foolish as to only have ONE measly copy! I HAVE HUNDREDS!"
"WHAT?!"
"Yessiree bob. I AM evil. NOW BUY ME A SNOWBOARD! MAO! MAO DIDDY MAO! DIDDY MAO!", shouted Rachel, hurrying him along.
"HEY! This is no way to treat a guy you like!", said Cloud.
"No it's not. BUT LIKE I SAID, THIS VACATIONS ABOUT EXTORTION! I'LL GET ALL LOVEY-DOVEY WHEN WE RETURN!", she said, dragging him along, and Laura was traipsing after, taking a few gulps from the sake and stringing Aeris and Tifa along.
"Eeww, this tastes sorta. . .funnnnnnyyyyy. . .", she said, her speech slurring again.
"Did everyone forget about me? Hello?", asked Vincent, stepping out of the bathroom.
"Lalalalala. . ." He heard sweet humming coming from the upstairs. Slowly, he climbed up, the voice all too familiar.
"Ooh! I like that one, Cloudy!", said Rachel, pointing at a black snowboard, decorated with bright red and orange flames.
"Okay then.", said the store manager. "Hey! Stock boy! Bring out the black board for these customers!"
"HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU!? I PREFER TO BE CALLED 'ACCOUNTABILITY ENGINEER'!? NOT 'STOCK BOY!", said an annoyingly familiar voice from the back.
"Grumble, grumble, here's your board, miss.", said the black haired, 30 year old stock boy from the back room. "What's your stance? Regular, or goofy? WHOA! Not you guys again!"
"Well, hello there, Hojo.", said Cloud, glaring at him angrily.
"Well well, the spiky-haired runt returns.", said Hojo.
"CLOUDY IS MORE A MAN THAN YOU, HOJO!", yelled Rachel.
"HOJO! Are you insulting the customers, AGAIN?!", shouted the manager from the back.
"Er. . .no boss. . .", said Hojo in a very meek sounding voice.
"YOU BETTER NOT!"
"Haha! Yeah, show some respect, stock boy!", laughed Rachel.
"Just take your stupid equipment, and go, please?", asked Hojo.
"Not without doing this. YOINK!"
"HEY! GIVE THOSE BACK!", screamed Hojo, while Rachel ran out with his glasses.
"I CAN'T SEE!" BONK! Hojo tried running after them as they ran, and he turned and his head hit the wall.
"Hello?", asked Vincent, peering around the corner to see the person humming.
"Oh! Boss?", asked a voice.
"Boss?", asked Vincent as he rounded himself around the corner of the stairs, his eyes meeting a pair of eyeglasses, VERY close to his face.
"AH!", screamed the maid, reeling back, because her head almost hit his. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I get a little clumsy sometimes.", said the maid. "Hey, you look familiar. I remember those eyes. Are you the man from the beach?"
"L-Lucrecia?", asked Vincent.
"That's right! You remember! How nice! Oh yeah, and what's your name, sir?"
"Vincent. . . Don't you remember me?"
"I DO remember you, but I don't remember you ever introducing yourself to me."
"I mean, I knew you BEFORE then."
"Really? I don't remember YOU though. I can only remember this one person."
"Who?"
"His name is Hojo. He works at the ski shop in this town."
"HA HA! A STOCK BOY! A MAD SCIENTIST TURNED STOCK BOY! Oh, how the evil have fallen. . .", said Rachel, turning red from laughing.
"Shhtock boy?", asked Tifa, STILL drunk. "Hee hee, sshhtock boy!"
"What's so funny?", asked Rachel. "YOU didn't even come into the store with us. You were too busy making snow angels in a MINI SKIRT!"
"Funnyyyy woorrds. . . SHTOCK BOY!", she said gleefully.
"Yes a see. . .", said Rachel, looking around strangely. "Cloud? When she gets drunk, is she always like that?"
"I've only seen her getting drunk once before, and that was at a Christmas party.", he said, recollecting his memories back to that point in time.
"WWOOOOOHOOOO CLOUD! FFUUUNNNNNN!", shouted a drunk Tifa at the Christmas party. "Letsh drink shinging shongs! I mean shink, er dink, er. . . who are you?", she said, looking at a picture on the wall of Cid's house, where the party was held. "What are YOU looking at thar? SHTOP LOOKING!", she yelled at the inanimate picture.
"Uh, Tifa? Why are you talking to a picture.", asked Cloud.
"Hey you! Why don't we go someplace more. . .private?", she said, jumping into his arms.
"WHOA! Tifa, are you sure you're okay?", asked Cloud.
"Oh come on. . .", said Tifa, taking her party hat off and putting it on Cloud's head, while also moving her face closer. "I know! I'll just give YOU your present EARLY. . ."
"Uh. . . Tifa?", asked Cloud nervously, a sweat mark getting bigger.
"Come on, I'll give YOU a merry Christmas. . .", she giggled.
"Uh, um, I don't know. . ."
"OH, AND WHAT?! YOU DON'T LIKE ME?!", she said, hopping back out of his arms. "THEN HOW DARE YOU TRY AND MAKE ME SLEEP WITH YOU!", she screamed, slapping him and leaving the room, while everyone turned around and looked at them. "Uh, heh hehehh. . .", he laughed nervously.
"Uh, hehheeh, hoo boy. . .", laughing Cloud nervously, coming out of the flashback.
"Well, what? Was she like that?", asked Rachel.
"Erhm, uh, let's just say it was a very interesting holiday.", he said. "Come on, let's go to our room. Shall we?", he said, pushing Rachel and Tifa forward. "Okay Aeris! Let's go!", he said grabbing her wrist, stopping her from continuing her little drunken dance, and Laura followed.
"Lucrecia, do you have ANY memory of a man named Vincent?", asked Vincent to Lucrecia, as she sat down on a bed.
"I have vague memories of someone with eyes like yours.", she said. "But nobody named Vincent. But I do hear Hojo sometimes talking about someone named that. Why?"
"Tell me, what's your earliest memory?", he asked.
"Well, that's hard to say.", she said. "The earliest, clearest memory was when Hojo woke me up from some sleep, and he said 'Do you remember anything?'. I remember shaking my head 'no' and he helped pull me out of a bed. I looked around, and he tried and helped me regain my memory. I owe him a lot. Say, if you don't mind me asking, how did you get your arm like that?", she asked, pointing to his golden arm.
"Hojo did this.", he said quietly.
"Hojo? The same Hojo I'm talking about? YOU are the Vincent he talks about?"
"The same one.", he said. "Do you remember EXACTLY where you woke up?", he asked. She nodded back. "Could you take me there?" She nodded again. He took his metal hand, and led him to a nearby house, and led him into the basement.
"VINCENT! Are you here?", asked Laura, stepping into the room of the inn. 'Hmph, I guess he left. And I don't think the maid has been here either."
"Well, you get your sobriety back quickly, now don't you?", asked Rachel.
"Sorry. . . I always wondered what sake tasted like. . ."
"Uh HUH. Where did Tifa and Aeris go?", she asked. They were passed out, Tifa on the bed, Aeris on the floor. "I never knew Aeris could drink like THAT.", she said, stepping carefully around her, into the bathroom. The next time she stepped out, she was wearing a powder blue coat, snow pants, snowboard boots, and goggles.
"Haha!", she said, putting on her gloves and picking up her board. "Wait, aren't you going to rent a board or something?", she asked Laura.
"NOPE! I HATE cold weather. . ."
"You're just chicken.", said Rachel.
"Oh NO, that's not gonna work."
"BUCK, BUCK, BUCKAW!", clucked Rachel.
"SHUTUP!", said Laura, growing steadily annoyed.
"LAURA IS A CHICKEN! BUCKUK!"
"OH YEAH! WELL I AM GOING TO SNOWBOARD! NOW SHUTUP!", she shouted, ramming her staff into Rachel's face.
"Rachel! Are you ready? Rachel?", asked Cloud as he opened the door. He looked down, saw Rachel unconscious with her nose bleeding, and Laura fuming with her staff.
"Heh heh. . ", he laughed nervously, with a sweat drop.
"Here is the bed.", said Lucrecia, pointing to the bed she had woken up in. It had a light and some weird monitor built into the bed, and the house felt completely abandoned. "Now, please. Tell me how Hojo, could have POSSIBLY done that to your arm."
"Well, you see," he began. "I used to work for an organization called The Turks. I worked along side with Hojo under this organization, and you were his assistant. He hated me, so one day, he performed a genetic alteration on me, and when I woke up, I had this arm."
"I don't see why Hojo could've possibly hated you.", said Lucrecia. "You haven't done anything to hurt me like he said you would."
"I would never hurt you.", he said. "But Hojo did this because I was in his way. I couldn't let him harm you."
"What do you mean? He HELPED me. With my memory."
"I tried to stop him, from an experiment he wanted to do to you. He wanted to make you the surrogate mother of an Ancient, and he failed.", he said.
"I don't believe it.", she said.
"I have proof."
"Then show me." He led her upstairs, and put in a tape, the very last one marked, "Confidential." It began playing, and she saw Hojo a couple years younger, and heard him give the order for the soldiers to fire on that innocent married couple. Her lips trembled, and a tear grew larger. She didn't want to believe it.
"GERONIMO!", shouted Rachel enthusiastically as she began her descent down the mountain.
"EEEEEEEEEEK!", screeched Laura, flailing her arms, flying down the slope.
"Come on Laura! This is completely safe!", yelled Rachel back to Laura. "Except for the possibility of broken bones, shattered tendons, snapped ligaments, etc!"
"Oh I feel just DANDY now!", yelled Laura. "YAAAAAAH!" She almost went off the trail. "Um Rachel! I think there's something you overlooked about this trail!"
"What?!"
"Remember this trail makes us- YAHHHH!!!!!!!" They both flew off the track, because she didn't remember that at the end of this trail, they would fly off into the path to the Great Glacier.
"Hojo? But how could this be the same one?", she asked. "How do I know I should trust you? There's still no proof that you knew me."
"Here.", he said, handing her the note that Laura gave him for his birthday. She read it quickly, and slowly handed it back. "I guess it all fits now. He always said he wanted to make it back into the scientific world. I just never knew how he acted. And he was so nice. . ." He wrapped his cloak around her, and her tears stained the delicate scarlet cloth that made up his cloak.
"Do not worry. I will keep you safe. I will not fail this time."
"Safe. . . from who?", she asked.
"Hojo."
"What will he do?"
"Anything to kill me."
"Has he lied this entire time?"
"I don't know. What did he say?"
"He promised me we would find a quiet place, where we could be alone together, and I didn't have to work as a maid anymore.", she said. "But I never liked him THAT way. . ."
"Ouch. . .", said Rachel, her body half buried in the snow. A bandersnatch was nearby, looking at the two bodies in the snow, and suddenly bit her. "OW! WHAT'S THAT ON MY ASS!? GOD, IT HURTS!", she screamed. Laura climbed out of the snow, and saw the wolf-like animal attached to Rachel's butt. Rachel's legs were pumping furiously, and she finally got out of the snow. "OWIE, OWIE, OWIEEEEEEEE!" She began running, but she couldn't get it off. SHING! A flash of a blade, and the monster was cut in two. Cloud had boarded down, and killed it.
"What are we going to do about him?", asked Lucrecia to Vincent as they walked back to a room at the inn. Being the maid, she had the keys, and opened the door, but it wasn't the same room they had been in before, where Aeris and Tifa were still unconscious, but it was the room NEXT to it. It also looked the same as the other room, and they stepped in.
"What do you mean? I would think you want to stay with him.", he said.
"I couldn't be with a man that could hurt people so much.", she said. "And he hurt you, too. I just. . . can't be with him."
"It's not like I haven't hurt anybody myself.", he said. "I was a Turk. We are murderers and criminals. That's who we are. Are you sure you would prefer to stay with me?"
"Yes. Your eyes aren't as cold as his. I KNOW you are a good person. And you can help me also with my memory. WHO were you exactly? I want to know HOW I REALLY knew you. Not just that you met me as his assistant, but how well you knew me."
"We. . .loved each other.", he said after a few moments. "It's just really hard to see you again, and you can't remember how it was."
"But we can try.", she said. "I know you can help me remember! And maybe you can teach me even more than Hojo! All the things I wish I could remember, all the feelings I don't have anymore, and maybe I can remember how to love you again. . .", she said as she smiled behind her glasses. He missed that smile so much, her and her cute freckled face.
"Sure we can.", he said.
"YOWCH!", screamed Rachel, with tears welling in her eyes. "STUPID BANDERSNATCH! AAAAAAGGGGGHH! EASY WITH THE ANTISEPTIC!"
"Sorry. Yow, HOW did you get this again?", asked Aeris, applying the antiseptic.
"A bandersnatch bit me in the posterior. ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW!?", shouted Rachel.
"Calm down! Sheesh, apply it to yourself, the antiseptic won't go through the snow pants. There is NO way I'm going to see your butt."
"As if I wanted another girl to see it anyway.", replied Rachel. But could you pry that thing sticking out? I don't know what it is, but I can feel it there."
"Yeah, sure. Grrrrrr. . . ."
"OOOOOOOHHHHHHGGGGGOOOOOOOD! WHAT WAS THAT?!", shouted Rachel.
"The fang was still in there."
"Owwww. . .", whimpered Rachel.
"I'm going to my room.", said Cloud.
"I'll go with you.", said Tifa. "It's MUCH quieter in there, and PLUS. . .", she said, now lowering her voice to a whisper. "Being on vacation, I'm SO far behind on my. . .work.", she whispered in his ear with a smile
They moved to the room next door, and when they entered, Vincent and Lucrecia's eyes widened to the sight of Cloud and Tifa, wildly making out in front of them.
"Um . . .excuse me.", said Lucrecia. Both Cloud's and Tifa's eyes widened as they looked at both of them looking back at them, and quickly moved apart.
"What are you doing in here?", asked Tifa, brushing herself off.
"Um, I'm the maid. I HAVE a key for this room. Vincent, do you know them?", she asked.
"Times like this, I wish I didn't.", he said. "But I DO know them. There's Tifa, and that is Cloud."
"Hi there!", greeted Lucrecia warmly, as though the previous events never happened.
"Uh, Vincent, who IS this?", asked Cloud.
"I'm Lucrecia!", she said.
"I thought you disappeared!", said Tifa.
"I'm here right now, so how could I have disappeared?"
"Vincent said you did. He was always complaining about his lost love."
"Really? That sounds so sweet!"
"Wait, what are we supposed to do with Hojo?", asked Cloud.
"I don't know.", said Lucrecia. "I think I should tell him I can't stay with him anymore though."
"Are you SURE that's a good idea?", asked Tifa.
"Yeah, you can't just run out on people like that! I think I should just go and tell him right now."
"If that's what you feel is best. . .", said Vincent.
"Let's go bring the other three.", said Cloud.
"Why can't you just use cure instead of using the old method?", asked Rachel, rubbing her butt after the excruciatingly painful procedure.
"Oh, I never thought of that.", said Aeris. "Sorry."
"WHAT!? Jesus. . .", moaned Rachel.
"HA HA! I'm still fine!", laughed Laura.
"You won't be for long. . ."
"Hey guys, look who we found!", said Vincent.
"She looks familiar. . .',said Rachel.
"Oh, I know HER. . .", said Laura.
"Who?"
"Lucrecia. . ."
"I thought she was gone. Either that, or under that waterfall near Nibelheim."
"Wait, WHAT?", said Vincent.
"Nothing. . ."
"Well, we're going to see Hojo before we leave this place. Are you coming?"
"If we can kill him, yes.", said Rachel, pulling out her special katana.
They arrived at the ski shop, and Hojo was there at the cashier.
"Hi, welcome to the Ski Shop. How may I help you t-HEY! Lucrecia, what are you doing with that VAMPIRE?", he asked.
"I AM NOT A VAMPIRE!", Vincent yelled.
"I'm sorry Hojo, but you lied to me.", said Lucrecia,
"Plus, you're a weenie.", mumbled Rachel.
"So she's coming with us.", said Cloud, coming up to the desk.
"Oh yeah? I said it before, and I'll say it again. What are you going to do, draw your SWORD?" Cloud takes out his sword and quickly stabs Hojo.
"As a matter of fact, I DID.", he said. Everybody was staring at him. "WHAT?! I THOUGHT WE ALL HATED HIM!"
"I wanted to kill him . . .", whined Rachel. "Oh well, I'll just stab at his dead carcass then. . ." She pulled out her sword, and began stabbing at his body. "Heh heh, that's for also hurting Cloudy, ya' pencil necked weenie. . ."
sake- a Japanese alcoholic drink, made from rice and traditionally served with sushi.
Yes, yes, another horrible, sugar inspired chapter by yours truly. Next time is a SPECIAL welcoming Lucrecia episode. . . WHY? I don't know. You tell me. Oh and again, thank you Sephiroth1Ripley8 for the usage of that little ending joke. HUZZAH! And if you want to be a character in the series, SEND ME AN E-MAIL! Just tell me if you want to or not, and I'll send you an e-mail giving you the necessary criteria. But as if anybody reads theses little ending notes. . .