Chapter 11: Girl's Night Out
Note: As always, permission of Laura is given by LadyTifa26, and all FF7 characters belong to Squaresoft. Here's the fic! And I THINK Irish coffee is the term for that drink. Don't ask where that came from, you'll know. Oh, and this chapter shows what I think guys do when their girlfriends are out.
"WHAT?!", shouted Laura. "SHE gets to stay with Vincent!" Because Rachel and Aeris already stayed with Tifa and she stayed with Cloud, the only room there would be was with Vincent.
"Do you have a better idea?", asked Tifa.
"I could-
"NO!", the all shouted, except for Lucrecia who was packing her things.
"Sigh. . ."
"I know! She could stay at the house next door! Couldn't she?", said Rachel, hopping on her black chocobo.
"She COULD, I suppose. . .", said Cloud, mounting Knight. Lucrecia came out with a suitcase, and the rest got on their chocobos and Lucrecia went on Vincent's.
"That man stealing little harlot. . .", muttered Laura.
"In case you don't remember," said Rachel. "She DID know Vincent YEARS before you met him a month ago."
"BUT SHE DOESN'T REMEMBER HIM VERY WELL! THAT SHOULDN'T COUNT!"
"Yes, and I should be the queen fairy of Fairyland. Just drop it.", said Tifa.
"Vinnie. . .", sobbed Laura. They sped off back toward Nibelheim, and FINALLY it seemed the rain had stopped.
"AH! HOME SWEET HOME!", said Cloud as he stepped through the doorway. "Huh?!" Someone else was in his house.
"HEHEH(hic)HEH!", said the man in the dark. He flicked a cigarette out of the shadows and stumbled forward.
"Cid?!", said Laura.
"I hhhope ya' don't mind. . .", he said. "Shhheraaa, threw me out 'cause I keep (hic), gettin' drunk. . ."
"I can see why. . .", said Laura nervously.
"WHATSH WITH YOU THEN HUH?! YA' HAVE SHOMTHING AGAINSHT BEING (hic) DRUNK! I'LL KICK YOUR ASS! COME HERE, &%!", yelled Cid at Laura.
"Eh heheh. . . help. . .", she whimpered.
"Come on Cid, we'll help you sort things out with Shera. . ."
"Sigh. . . Here again. . .", said Rachel, unloading her luggage out on her bed.
"Cheer up.", said Aeris. "We should do something to welcome Lucrecia here, don't you think? And besides, it could be an opportunity for Laura to get to know Lucrecia. The LAST thing we need here is another grudge.", said Aeris, looking at Tifa who was glaring at Rachel angrily.
"Sounds good.", said Rachel. "Mind if we take the car?"
"That's right! You have a Porsche, don't you?"
"Not anymore.", said Rachel, shrugging.
"WHAT?! What happened."
"Traded it in for TWO cars. A brand new red Corvette with a white racing stripe across the hood, and a blue Viper."
"Nice."
"Indeed. I CAN OFFICIALLY DOMINATE THE ROAD!"
"What road?", asked Aeris. "There ARE none."
"Oh yeah. . .", said Rachel gloomily.
"Shera?", said Cloud over the PHS. "Did you kick Cid out? Uh huh, so um, do you think you could let him back in? My house smells strongly of alcohol. NOT UNTIL HE STOPS GETTING DRUNK?! THAT'S LIKE STRAPPING BUTTERFLY WINGS TO AN ELEPHANT AND SHOVING IT OFF A CLIFF SO IT'LL FLY! IMPOSSIBLE! Okay . . . Talk to you later. . ."
"I'm guessing he'll have to cut the booze then, huh?", said Laura.
"Yep. And I want him out of here by tonight.", he said.
"Why?" Laura was poking at the unconscious body of Cid with her staff. "Oh, I get it. . ."
"NO! IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!", Cloud shouted.
"Ssssuuuuurrrre it's not. I get it. We ALL know. Except for maybe Aeris. . ."
"Can you keep it a secret?", he pleaded on his knees.
"Fine then, but just because of how generous I am."
"THANK YOU!", he said, bowing.
"Lucrecia, this is where you will be staying.", said Vincent, opening the door to the house next to Tifa's.
"Thank you, Vincent.", she said.
"HIYA NEIGHBOR!", said Rachel, waving as she, Aeris, and Tifa stepped out of their house. "We have something to tell you!"
"Huh? What is it?", asked Lucrecia.
"In order to welcome you and learn more about you, we're inviting you to come out with us!"
"Er, where?"
"Anywhere you want.", said Aeris.
"I know, let's take her to see the electric chair down at the penitentiary.", mumble Laura, walking out of Cloud's house.
"SSHHHH!", hushed Tifa.
"Fine, we'll leave her stranded in the desert around the Gold Saucer."
"SHHH!"
"Okay, I'll come! Is it okay Vincent?"
"Just as long as THAT one stays sane.", said Vincent, pointing to Laura.
"She looks sane enough.", said Lucrecia. "I'll go then!"
"WOOHOO! GIRL'S NIGHT OUT! I'M DRIVING!", shouted Rachel, taking the keys out of her pocket.
"I'LL drive, thank you very much.", said Tifa, taking the keys.
"Darn. . ."
"VINCENT!", shouted Cloud. "I'll need your help with Cid here!"
"Cid?", said Vincent.
"Yeah! He was thrown out by Shera, so we need to get him back!"
"Fine. I KNEW he'd get in trouble one of these days. . ."
"Darn, I was going to invite Shera, but I guess she has her hands full with Cid.", shrugged Rachel.
"No way, she'd enjoy some company after spending her time alone.", said Aeris. "We'll bring her along, too."
"Duh, duh, duuuuuuh! Duh, duh, duhNUUHHHHHH!!", sang Rachel along with the bass guitar on the radio. They drove out of an empty barn in the brand new Corvette, and headed toward Rocket town.
"YES! FREEDOM!", shouted Laura.
"Freedom from what?", yelled Lucrecia over the song that was blaring loudly, scaring miscellaneous monsters away.
"I DON'T KNOW! I JUST THOUGHT I'D SAY THAT!", Laura shouted back.
"WE SHOULD MEET YUFFIE IN ROCKET TOWN, TOO!", yelled Tifa. "SHE'S WAITING AT THE BAR!"
"WOOHOO! BAR!", screamed Rachel, now over the loud purr of the engine. They raced over, across SOME road they didn't know existed, and pulled up in front of the bar.
"Hey guys!", said Shera, sitting next to Yuffie at the bar. "What's up?"
"Who's this?", asked Yuffie, looking at Lucrecia.
"Hi, I'm Lucrecia.", she said.
"HOLY &%! Really?", asked Yuffie.
"Uh yeah. . .", said Rachel. "It's a long story. But Hojo's dead!"
"I thought he WAS dead. I helped kill him.", said Yuffie.
"Um, that's what we ALL thought. But the good news is, that before we killed him, he had a fate WORSE than death."
"What?"
"HE WAS A STOCK BOY!", Laura and Rachel shouted together, trying not to laugh.
"Any good materia on him?", asked Yuffie.
"Only this.", said Rachel, handing her a folded plastic thing. "And it's not even materia. But YOU'LL see what kind of guy he was from it. . ." Yuffie unfolded it, and threw it away in disgust, while some other guys in the bar scrambled for it.
"EEEEW! AN INFLATABLE GIRL!!!??? DISGUSTING!"
"HAHA! WHAT A PERV! I wonder how much money he had to pay for those girl's fawning over him that other time in Costa del Sol.", laughed Rachel.
"Probably enough to put him into debt.", said Tifa, ordering a beer. "That's most likely the reason he was a stock boy."
"Probably.", agreed Laura. "So Lucrecia. . .", she said. "What's it like waking up first thing in the morning, not knowing what's going on and having to live with a middle-aged ex-mad scientist who probably gets horny just by examining female DNA?"
"Huh? Well, first of all, I didn't even think of the fact he DOES get horny by that.", she said. The rest were all chortling over how sad it must have been for him to go throughout his life scaring away all the women in the room. "And well, freaky. His face was really close to mine and his breath smelled like garlic."
"EEEEEW! HOJO BREATH!", said Laura, sticking out her tongue.
"I'd have to agree.", said Aeris, pulling up a bar stool and ordering some sake. "When he put me in that glass chamber, he gave me the choice of being free at the price of giving him a kiss, or sticking me in that glass chamber to be probed. It was an obvious choice."
"Okay Cid. We need to get you thinking straight.", said Cloud. They were sitting in his living room, and he and Vincent were trying to give him a self help seminar.
"I DON'T NEED ANY OF YOUR $&$#! SELF-HELP SHIT! I'M DOING JUST FINE WITH ME AND MY GOOD FRIENDS!"
"And they would be. . .?", asked Vincent.
"Jim Beam, Captain Morgan, Jose Quaribo, and of course, my old buddy, Jack Daniels.", he said with a proud smile.
"Needs more help than I first thought.", said Cloud. "Now, let's see. . .", he said, flipping through a book called, "Self-Help Psychology for Dummies.", with Vincent also peering over, and Cid was flipping through a nudie magazine. "PUT THAT DOWN!"
"Of course. I mean, what's the difference between kissing him and making out with a rabid female squirrel?", asked Tifa.
"About a third of a manliness point, that's what. And that statistic is of COURSE in favor of the squirrel.", cut in Rachel.
"Oh, he wasn't THAT bad.", said Lucrecia.
"Of COURSE not. . .", said Rachel. "He only TRIED and get rid of Vincent, and erase your memory, right?"
"Okay, if we don't do something exciting, I'm out of here.", said Yuffie.
"What do you have in mind?", asked Aeris.
"Look at those guys over there.", she said pointing. Some of them looked back, and a few kept staring at Tifa's chest.
"Grrrr. . ."
"And?", asked Aeris.
"Let's get them to do something. . .", she said with a hint of insanity behind it.
"Nothing happened.", said Cid.
"Come on, so far, you have ignored almost ALL the reasons behind your alcoholism.", said Vincent, while Cloud sneaked a look at the nudie mag.
"So far, it's neither peer pressure, depression, stress, or habit, so there's only one left."
"Oh, and what's THAT?", he said with mock interest.
"A bad childhood."
"HAHA! What a bunch o' lies! What kind of $&#! book is that?!"
"Just answer me.", said Vincent. "Did you have a bad childhood?"
"Of course not!"
"Really? Did you not get hurt, or disappointed, or sad?"
"NO WAY!"
"Cloud!", he whispered, pulling his attention away from the magazine.
"Not now! I'm looking at Miss October!", whispered back Cloud.
"He's not admitting anything!"
"Fine, I'LL do this.", he said.
"Okay Cid.", he said, looking in the book. "According to this, I have to. . . Be nice and give you a hug? Okay, this book IS weird. Cid?" Cid was bawling in tears. "What did I say? I guess he doesn't like hugs. . ."
"DADDY NEVER GAVE ME HUGS!", cried Cid.
"What?!", said Cloud and Vincent together.
"Daddy never gave little Ciddy hugs. . .", he whimpered. "And that's why I drink! To forget about him! DADDY NEVER LOVED LITTLE CID!"
"Whoa! Um. . .Vincent, you have a lot of yaoi stories with him! YOU hug him!", shouted Cloud.
"OH NO! NOT ME!", he said backing up.
"WAH! NOBODY LOVES CID!"
"Thanks boys!", said Aeris, walking away from the table of those men.
"Nice job, Aeris.", said Yuffie to Aeris. As Aeris and Yuffie were sweet talking them, she was stealing all they had.
"Hmm, let's see here. . .", said Rachel. "Aeris hops in their laps and starts talking dirty to them, while Yuffie steals. I can get the Yuffie stealing part, but a naughty Aeris? THAT'S new. . ."
"Come on, lighten up!", said Aeris, taking down more sake. "It's girl's night out! We SUPPOSED to act this way!"
"Yeah, but Tifa hasn't done ANYTHNG. If there was anybody here that I'd expect to talk sexually to a bunch of sad, lonely men, she'd be my first candidate on my list of who'd be the most likely."
"What's THAT supposed to mean?", asked Tifa, getting up from her bar stool.
"Nothing. . ."
"All right! They were loaded! We have 150,097 gil! And 15 materias!" , said Yuffie. "Okay Tifa. Do YOU want to try?"
"You know, that was actually kind of fun.", admitted Aeris. "Although I DO feel bad that we just robbed them. . ."
"If you'll stop, FINE.", said Tifa, walking over to another man at the bar. He looked VERY cute, and she sat next to him.
"Nice night, huh?", she said. He looked over next to him, and saw the impossibly perfect looking woman next to him.
"...", he couldn't say anything.
"So uh, how would you like to uh, maybe buy me a drink?", she said, growing closer to his face and seating a hand on his lap.
"Uh, um. . .", he stuttered. "Sure!"
"She's not bad. . .", said Rachel.
"What's going on?", asked Lucrecia, coming out of the women's bathroom.
"Tifa's trying to play somebody.", said Laura.
"Not that guy!", exclaimed Lucrecia. "I saw his girlfriend in the bathroom! She began bragging about him and how they got over a fight they had, and how everything's better than ever!"
"Why did they fight?"
"He was cheating."
"Then let the match begin. . .", said Laura nervously.
"Hey thanks.", said Tifa as the bartender gave her her drink. She looked at his drink, and being a bartender herself, she took his and began mixing it with hers. "You know, I'm a bartender myself.", she said to the man. "Try this." She bent closer to him, handed him his drink, and he drank it.
"Pretty good."
"It should be.", she said, breathing softly in his ear. "Being a bartender, I know how to. . .mix it up, if you know what I mean." The man was now blushing furiously as her hand moved up his thigh.
"ALL RIGHT! SCORE!", said Yuffie.
"You're more evil than Sephiroth in your mind, aren't you?", said Aeris. "I mean, having us do this to a bunch of men."
"I'm a thief. I have to survive."
"You live as the daughter of the ruler of Wutai. I DON'T think you're poor."
"As if Godo let's me have what I want out of life.", she said. "He's way to restricted. OOH! LOOK AT WHAT THEY'RE DOING NOW!" Tifa and the man were kissing, and before he left his seat, they saw him hand over his number and a little bit of money.
"WOOHOO! Not bad.", called Yuffie. But before Tifa could come back over, the man's girlfriend came over.
Cloud was patting Cid's back, and Cid was weeping over Cloud's shoulder, and Cloud was wondering when he'd stop.
"Uh, Cid? Could you let go please. . .?", asked Cloud.
"Daddy, no. . ."
"Sigh. . . How about this Cid? Lie down here, and you can tell me ALL about your father. Just let go."
"Sniff. . .okay. . ."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY BOYFRIEND!?", asked the woman.
"What do you think?", replied Tifa.
"Hmph, you're nothing but some tramp, aren't you? By the looks of you, you're not even a virgin.", said the man's girlfriend scornfully.
"Oh, I'm sorry, but it was all your daddy's fault!", retorted Tifa smartly.
"OOOH! BURN!", cried Rachel. The woman peered over at her, and then walked over to the rest of them.
"So I see you're all together then, huh?", she said.
"Oh, how brilliant Einstein.", said Yuffie.
"Look, don't mess with them, okay?", said Tifa. "You're here to insult me, right? Not them."
"Oh yeah? I'll mess with whoever I want, okay? Let's take this outside.", said the woman.
"Um, lady, that's not a good idea. . .", said Shera nervously.
"I don't want to fight you.", said Tifa.
"You're just worried you'll lose!", said the woman.
"No, I don't want to murder you.", said Tifa.
"I swear lady, you DON'T want to do that.", said Rachel.
"I see your little gang of sluts here are backing you up, huh?"
"OKAY TIFA, HIT HER! HIT HER NOW! OR MAYBE YOU HOLD HER DOWN AND I'LL HIT HER! LET ME AT HER! COME ON!", screamed Rachel at the woman, ready to kill.
"BACK RACHEL! DOWN!", Laura said, holding her back.
"Okay, I'm sorry I have to do this..", said Tifa
"Bring it!" DOOF! In one swift punch, the woman fell to the floor.
"Sorry lady. . .", said Tifa, bowing.
"And when I was 10, daddy said I wasn't his child just because I didn't make the football team and I really liked science. . .", said Cid. Cloud and Vincent were being bored to death hearing about Cid's childhood. "And I always used to see him drink, so I thought, 'Maybe daddy would love me if I was just like him.' So I began to go down that sad road. . ."
"OKAY CID! WE GET THE POINT! YOUR FATHER WAS REALLY LOUSY! GET OVER IT!", screamed Cloud.
"Cloud, handle it like this.", said Vincent. "Cid, the source of your problem is deep within yourself. But you need to have enough strength to get over this. You don't want to be like your father. Your father apparently sucked. So, don't be like him, and be yourself. He DID love you, but he just couldn't see you as an individual. So be strong, hang tough, and STOP being your father. Okay?", said Vincent.
"How do I NOT be him?", asked Cid.
"First of all, STOP talking about your childhood.", said Cloud.
"Next, stop drinking.", said Vincent. "Got it?"
"O-okay. . .", said Cid. "THANKS YOU GUYS!", he cried, then he gave Vincent a big hug.
"Why does this feel extremely uncomfortable?", said Vincent.
"AW! You look so perfect together!", teased Cloud, almost laughing.
"SHUTUP!"
"I can see why there are so many Cid/Vincent yaoi fics. . ."
"SHUTUP!"
"HAHAHAHAHA- BANG! Vincent shot his gun at him. "OKAY, I GET THE POINT!"
"Good." Cid finally released him, and they sat back down.
"Um, guys?", asked Cid.
"What?"
"Please don't tell the others."
"Oh, we won't. . ." , said Cloud with a smile, holding a tape recorder behind his back.
"Okay, so where do you want to go?", asked Rachel to Lucrecia. They managed to get Tifa drunk enough before they left the bar for Rachel to drive.
"Are you sure I shouldn't drive?", asked Aeris.
"YEP! I'M QUEEN OF THE ROAD!"
"Well then ma' lady," said Laura. "Shouldn't I drive?"
"NO! My car!", said Rachel, hugging the steering wheel.
"How about we just drive for a while?", said Lucrecia.
"DONE!", said Rachel, starting up the car. "I know where we can go if you want to drive. . ." They swerved out of Rocket town, and the men they conned out of their money followed. Ironically, they were a bunch of bikers, called the "Planet's Angels" and when they saw them getting away, they followed.
"Uh guys? Are they the same ones from the bar?", asked Shera.
"Oh, futz.", said Rachel.
"We're gonna get you!", yelled the hairy leader.
"Aeris! Do something!", shouted Rachel. She, Shera, Tifa, and Lucrecia were all back there, sitting above the seats, and moved uneasily during the high speed chase.
"I'M NOT SURE WHAT I CAN DO!", shouted Aeris.
"ANYONE! DO SOMETHING!", yelled Laura.
"I knnnoooow!", said a drunk Tifa.
"What?!" Tifa lifted her shirt and flashed the bikers, and Aeris went along with it and flashed them as well.
"WWOOOOOOOOOO!", yelled the bikers enthusiastically, but their thinking was diverted, so they ran off the road while still looking.
"ARE THEY GONE!?", yelled Rachel.
"I THINK SO!", shouted Laura. "I know my vision is almost, though!"
"WHY?!", asked Rachel.
"Uh, they flashed them!"
"Really?! NICE THINKING TIFA!", shouted Rachel.
"HIC! NOO PROB!"
"Where are we going?", asked Yuffie.
"You'll see!"
"Whoa, look at that!", said Vincent in amazement. Since they were done curing Cid, Cid happened to have brought with him an entire box of porno tapes, and Cloud was staring at the screen.
"Did that.", said Cloud.
"WHOA! WHAT ABOUT THAT POSITION! HOW DO THEY DO THAT!?", Vincent shouted.
"Did that, too.", said Cloud, munching on some popcorn.
"Why are we even watching this?", asked Vincent. "Don't we have anything else to do?"
"Nothing better than watching porno.", said Cloud.
"But then again," said Cid, "What IS better?"
"Dude, you're SICK!", said Vincent.
"Then why are YOU watching?", asked Cloud. "God, I did that, too!"
"Wow, Tifa must be flexible for THAT one.", said Cid.
"JESUS! You're all SICKOS! I'm leaving!", said Vincent, removing himself from the couch.
"Whatever dude. . .", said Cid.
"Are you SURE this is all we can do?", asked Vincent before he left.
"Pretty much, yep."
"GOING!", said Vincent on his way out.
"DID THAT, TOO!", yelled Cloud to the screen.
"We're here!", announced Rachel. It was an empty strip of road.
"Where's here?", asked Aeris.
"Hold on.", said Rachel.
"New challengers, eh?", asked a large man, leaning on a souped up Corvette.
"YEP!", replied Rachel.
"Er, what are we competing about?", asked Lucrecia.
"A 'vette match. In other words, WE'RE GONNA RACE!", said Rachel.
"Um, is that such a good idea?", asked Aeris.
"Why not?"
"Nevermind. . ."
"A STRAIGHT!", said Cloud with a visor over his head, laying out cards.
"ROYAL FLUSH!", said Cid, laying out his cards, raking in the poker chips.
"How about you Vincent?", asked Cloud. Vincent came back after some persuasion that there wouldn't be anymore porn.
"Nothing. . .", he sighed.
"HAH! That's 10,000 gil you owe me now.", said Cid, smoking a cigar.
"Grrr, pass me a beer, will ya'?"
"Get ready!", said the racing judge.
"YEEHAW!", said Rachel.
"GO!" The tires screeched forward, and the man was out in front.
"WWWOOOOHOOOO!", yelled Tifa.
"CALM DOWN!", said Laura. "COME ON! PUNCH IT RACHEL!"
"ARE YOU SURE!?"
"MOVE THIS THING!"
"OKAAAY!" She slammed down on the acceleration, and they jolted forward.
"YEAH! WE'RE MOVIN' NOW!", said Laura, as they came side by side with their opponent. But he STILL move forward, even at 120 mph.
"I know how to move faster!", yelled Lucrecia against the force of the wind against her.
"How?!"
"Everyone! Duck down!" She ducked lower, and so did Aeris, Shera, and Tifa. The car began to accelerate. The force of the wind blowing against them was so strong it was pushing back their faces, and the large, hairy man looked in his rearview mirror, and saw them approaching. He pushed even farther down on the accelerator.
"We won't catch up!", shouted Aeris.
"Oh yeah! This thing was SO expensive, and it's only for one reason!", shouted Rachel.
"It's a Corvette?", guessed Laura.
"Besides that!", yelled Rachel.
"The paint job?", guessed Shera.
"No! I had the guy give this a special engine that could use nitro!"
"NITRO!", they shouted.
"YEP! LET'S GIVE IT A TRY!" Rachel pulled a lever beside the emergency brake, and it activated the nitro.
"WWOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!", Rachel cried maniacally. "We're movin' now, BABY!" She passed the man, and adjusted the rearview mirror with the purple fuzzy dice, and she could see him disappear, and they crossed the finish line.
"Bored, bored, BORED!", said Cloud. Vincent had left to go back to his mansion and perhaps read more about the Jenova project, and Cid was asleep on the couch. "I wonder what the girls are doing. Hmmm. . ." he peered over his seat and saw a bottle of nail polish. He picked it up and wondered, "Why do girls like this stuff? I see them apply it, and they seem almost entertained. Hmmm. . ." He looked around to see if anybody was looking, and he twisted off the top and he began applying the polish.
"YEAH! I WIN!", said Rachel, jumping out of the car. The others were still adjusting to the stop, their hair very windblown, and Laura stepped out with Rachel.
"What do we win?", she asked.
"Bragging rights.", said Rachel.
"THAT'S IT?!", screamed Laura. "I THINK I ALMOST DIE IN A CAR, AND ALL WE GET ARE BRAGGING RIGHTS! JESUS! HOW DID YOU BECOME MY FRIEND IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"
"I pummeled that guy insulting you in the lunch line.", said Rachel.
"We go to an all girls school, genius.", said Laura.
"Well, the girl was so huge you'd THINK it was a guy.", said Rachel.
"Congratulations, you beat me.", said the man.
"Do we win anything?", asked Rachel.
"Yes."
"All right!", thought Laura. "I DIDN'T almost die for nothing!"
"What do we get?", asked Aeris.
"A pine freshener!"
"DIH!", went Laura, collapsing to the ground.
"WOOHOO! PINE! Laura?", said Rachel.
"Are we going anywhere else?", asked Lucrecia.
"It's your decision."
"I'm a little tired now."
"AWWW! But it's only midnight!", said Rachel.
"It's her decision, Rachel.", said Aeris.
"Fine. Let's go."
"Yeah. Anyway, I think it'd probably be best for Tifa, anyway.", said Shera. Tifa was lying unconscious on the hood of the car.
"This is WEIRD.", said Cloud, looking at the bright pink coat of nail polish on his toes.
"CLOUD! WE'RE HOME! Er, nice toes. . .", said Aeris.
"EEP!", he shrieked.
"Er, yeah, what's up with that?", asked Rachel, helping in Tifa.
"Er, um, uh-
"And what's up with the porno tape in the VCR?!", asked Aeris.
"UH!"
"Nevermind. It's late. You were probably bored."
"Um, yeah. . . What about you guys? Did you do anything exciting?"
"Us? Nah, nothing really.", said Rachel. "Oh yeah, and I guess Shera took Cid back, he's not there anymore."
"Wait a second. Shera was never here!", realized Aeris.
"Wait. The where's Cid?" They heard the TV turn back on, and the video began to play again.
"EEEW! GROSS!", shrieked Rachel.
"BLIND!", screamed Aeris.
"CID! THEY'RE BACK!", yelled Cloud.
"Oh. Oops. . ."
"EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"