Chapter 14 p.2: War Games
A/N: I HAAAATE NOOOOOTES! ....:Anywaaaay....the drill applies here. Squaresoft owns FF7. LadyTifa26 owns Laura. Others own random other characters, blah, blah blah...
Rachel was on the ground, bleeding from Tifa's last blow.
"Ready to give up?", asked Tifa. Rachel looked back up at her, and before Tifa could do anything else, Rachel had tripped her foot, and caught Tifa while falling in a headlock.
"Shouldn't I be asking that?", said Rachel. Tifa just smirked in the spirit of healthy competition, and reached up and grabbed Rachel's head, and flipped her back on the ground.
"No, I'm pretty sure it's my line."
"WOOHOO!", shouted Cloud. "CATFIGHT!" Vincent just shot him a weird look. "Well WHAT?! You would love to see them mud wrestle, too." Vincent just continued to look.
"Perv. . .", he muttered, shaking his head.
"Owie. . .", mumbled Rachel. "Why did you choose to fight?", she asked.
"Thought we could get all aggressions out this way.", replied Tifa.
"BUT I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YOU! YOU WERE COOL IN THE GAME!", yelled Rachel.
"Game?", asked Tifa.
"When you were saving the world with Cloud. You were one of the coolest characters in the game! And now you're like, entirely different! Maybe you were better, BEFORE Cloud knew how you felt!"
"Oh. GAME?!" Tifa never got past that part.
"Nevermind. . ."
"Okay. . .", said Tifa.
"GAHK!" Rachel never removed herself from the mat, and Tifa's foot came down on her throat.
"NOW, do you care to give up?"
"UNCLE! UNCLE! GAH!" Tifa finally let up.
"And that was all you had to do.", she said.
Rachel spent the rest of the day recuperating in the medical ward, before she was released to accomplish the rest of her training. Today was firing and accuracy with Lieutenant Valentine.
Fun.
"Here, you will learn how to fire you M-16's.", said Vincent, pacing up and down the line of gunmen. "Now, you have your targets. I've already taught you how to load, and when I say fire, fire at will!"
A man ran out of line screaming bloody murder.
"Who was that?", asked Vincent. Laura piped up.
"Um, that was Will, sir.", said Laura, the others were laughing.
"Sigh. . . Continue without him. NOW FIRE!" Rachel began fumbling with her gun, because her thumb slipped and her bullets were falling out. She reloaded them quickly, and in a hurry put her finger up to the trigger, and her finger slipped again, and fired the gun.
"OH, FFUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!!!!!!!" A string of profanities unattainable by even a sailor, or even Cid, came out of Vincent's mouth. Rachel shot him in the butt.
"WHAT WERE YOU DOING, PRIVATE?!", screamed Sergeant Peterson, his eyes bulging out of his sockets.
"Well, first of all sir, when you say, 'doing', and 'private' altogether in the same sentence, it brings horrible things to mind.", said Rachel. "And next of all, I was reloading my gun."
"WELL, MS. I'M SO SMART,YOU WERE TO FIRE AT THE DESIGNATED TARGET! THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, LIEUTENANT VALENTINE DID NOT HAVE A TARGET, STRAPPED TO HIS ASS!", shouted the sergeant.
"You were checking out his ass? Tells a LOT about your "private" life, dude.", said Rachel. The sergeants skull looked like it was about to split.
"YOU ARE SO-!!!!" He was cut off, and he grasped his left arm in pain, and fell to the ground.
"See what happens if you don't chill?! YOU DIE! Now where's that medic. . .?"
After fetching the medic, who was consequently laughing because he knew this day would come, Rachel was sent to be back with her own unit, with Cloud teaching his bayonet class.
"Arm your guns like this!", said Cloud, attaching his bayonet. "And. . ." He did his signature twirl.
"Cool!", said Rachel, while trying to attach hers. She was trying, but it wouldn't fit. She eventually grew so angry at it, she was banging it on the ground, and bent it.
"GIVE ME THAT!", said Cloud, taking it out of her hands. He was able to attach it, and twirled it. "See, it's not that-!" During his twirl, because the bayonet was bent, it cut across his pants, and they fell to his ankles, and he turned a very deep red.
"Oops. . ." Girls in the line began whooping like crazy, and a few jumped for his pants.
"RACHEL!!"
Her week went along much like this, getting chewed out by most of her instructors while Laura did just fine, until one morning, they were called to meet by a podium on top of a dais. Sergeant Frankert strode up to it, wearing a steel helmet and heavy leather boots, with the Shinra flag in the background, giving out a speech.
"It is that time in your training, where you are to go out, and test your abilities. To survive. To give it all you got. And to show the world, you aren't an overall ninny. IT'S TIME FOR THE WAR GAMES!", he shouted. "THE OBJECTIVE IS TO COOPERATE WITH YOUR TEAMMATES, AND BE THE LAST ONES TO SURVIVE, ALL WHILE TRYING TO DESTROY THE OTHER TEAM! HEAD IN TO YOUR RESPECTIVE GROUPS, AND FALL IN! TEAM A IS LIEUTENANT VALENTINE! TEAM B IS MY GROUP! TEAM C IS UNDER LIEUTENANT STRIFE! AND TEAM D IS UNDER MAJOR LOCKHEART! IS THAT CLEAR!?"
"YES SIR!", shouted everyone. Rachel wasn't listening and yawned widely, when everybody turned around.
"What?"
"MOVE OUT!", yelled Sergeant Frankert. Everybody ran to their designated transport vehicles, and they rode to the site of the war games.
"WOOHOO! War games!", shouted Rachel with a big smile. "All we have to do is bump off all the others, right?"
"That's exactly it.", said Cloud. "And since you are all under my jurisdiction, AND since my group wins every year, WE WILL BE WORKING HARD!" An audible sigh was heard, and they all stopped with a jolt. The door opened, and they were at their command post, which was only a cabin, big enough for one person, because it was filled with radio equipment.
"This is the commander's cabin.", said Cloud. "Which means, STAY OUT! All the rest of you, pitch your tents!"
"Tent? That's what this is?", asked Rachel, throwing down her back pack. "Looks like cloth and sticks."
"And THAT is what you're going to make your tent out of."
"Holy CRAP!"
"Okay! We're here!", said Tifa, leading her group out of the transport. "We set up camp here. Nobody stays in the radio cabin, we're all out here."
"But somebody else can stay in there!", protested Jessie.
"We're all sticking together.", said Tifa. "I'm going to gather wood. Laura, you're in charge while I'm gone. DO NOT SCREW UP!"
"Er, yes ma'am!", saluted Laura.
"Rachel, you are going to fetch the wood! You are in charge of it! GO!", commanded Cloud.
"Yes, SIR. . .", grumbled Rachel, taking her paintball gun that resembled her M-16, and began to trudge through the woods.
"Yeah! Laura's in charge!", said Shannon. "What's you're command?!"
"Um, I don't know. . .", said Laura.
"Come on! You're in charge! You can do ANYTHING!"
"Um, okay well then I guess we should go scout ahead. Jessie, Shannon, come with me."
"Hey! I meant something FUN!", said Shannon.
"Unless you want to lose miserably, you'll come. Now move your butt!"
"Grumble, grumble, stupid Cloud. . .", mumbled Rachel with an armful of firewood, trudging back to camp. "Here you go, Sahib.", said Rachel, dumping it on the ground in front of Cloud, who's feet were kicked back and relaxed.
"There you go knave- er, I mean, private.", said Cloud. "Now start the fire!" Rachel put the wood in the circle of stones and pointed her finger. "No! WITHOUT materia."
"GRRRR!", growled Rachel. She picked up a flint rock and scraped it against another rock to produce sparks and light the fire. "Anything ELSE, master?"
"Yeah, rub my feet.", said Cloud, beginning to toast some marshmallows.
"You MUST be joking."
"Get rubbin'!", he said, kicking off his boots.
"OH SWEET JESUS!"
"I hear something!", said Shannon.
"What?", asked Laura. They turned around and peered through the bushes, and spotted a pair of lookouts. The cocked their guns, and proceeded.
"DROP EM'!", shouted Laura, catching the scouts by surprise, prompting them to drop what they had.
"Woohoo! Prisoners!", said Jessie. But they celebrated too soon; more of team B had popped up behind them. "Whoops."
"Where's Private Cruz?", asked Tifa when she got back.
"She left to scout.", said another soldier.
"AW CRAP! There are team B members there!", she said urgently.
"So? They took their guns. They should be fine."
"EEP!" One soldier put a gun to the back of Laura's head.
"But team B excels at sneak operations!"
"Aw crap. . ."
"Move out!"
"What do we do with the prisoners?", asked one soldier to another.
"Take them back to the base. If they resist, shoot them.", said the commander.
"Laura!", whispered Shannon.
"What?"
"WHY THE HELL DID YOU BRING US ALONG?!", she hissed.
"FREEZE!" Tifa popped out in front of them, holding them at gun point, with the rest of the team surrounding them, outnumbering the other soldiers 1:3.
"EEEEEEW!", thought Rachel, walking over to the nearby stream to wash her hands from rubbing Cloud's feet. "I like him, but I don't like him enough to rub his FEET!"
"PRIVATE DISTLER!", called Cloud.
"Oh great. What ungodly thing is he asking me to do NOW?", said Rachel.
"Up the tree.", he said.
"WHY?!"
"Lookout duty. It's getting late.", he said. "And since you never put up your tent, you might as well do this. Goodnight.", he said, walking into his cabin.
"Stupid bastard. . .", cursed Rachel behind his back.
"We agree!", said the rest of the soldiers.
"Huh? What did he do to you?", asked Rachel.
"He made us hunt! THE NERDS! HUNT!", said one.
"And he yelled at us for putting up the tents too close to the cabin, so we had to move them FOUR times!", said another.
"And he won't share the porn!" They all turned around and looked at the one soldier. "Okay, maybe that was just me. . ."
"Yeehaw!", shouted Laura. "And BANG! Out like that!" When Tifa saved her hide, instead of just taking prisoners, the paintballed them all, and kept one to lead them to their camp.
"How do we know he's not leading us to a trap?", asked one. Tifa didn't answer, and just pressed her gun harder into the back of the prisoner.
"He's not.", said Tifa. The prisoner smiled, and said, "Just beyond those bushes." Tifa squinted her eyes, and took a step forward cautiously, the prisoner's smile getting larger.
"HERE!" Tifa took the prisoner's sleeve and threw him forward, and a net snared him. "As long as he was out in front, he shouldn't have led us to a trap. Unless he wanted to get caught himself. Now get him out, he still has to take us there."
"REBELLION!", said Rachel to the other troops, who had elected her as their leader.
"We don't need him!", said the others.
"Another leader!", said somebody else.
"We strike tonight!", said another.
KNOCK KNOCK! Cloud woke up to a knocking at his door.
"Who is-!" When he stepped out, he was blinded with red pointers aiming for his head, and he saw somebody walk forward.
"This Cloudy,", said the person, taking off the helmet the covered their face. "is what you get for not being nice." It was Rachel of course, with a huge smile, and put her gun to his neck. "Let's have some fun."
"When I tell you to move, we do, okay?", whispered Tifa. It was nighttime now, and they all looked through the bushes of Sergeant Frankert' team. The orange embers reflected off their war-painted faces, and they loaded their guns, readying, when they heard screaming.
"AAHHHH! THE ENEMY!", they heard somebody yell, but their team was present and accounted for, and when they arrived, they had already shot their prisoner. They saw somebody from a different team run in and shoot some of team B, and during the skirmish, they saw a man with ebony hair walk in front of the fire, his hair swaying back and forth. Team A was here as well.
"Think he's had enough?", asked Rachel to some other female soldiers.
"I don't know, what do you think?" All the female troops were outside with Rachel, and the guys were inside, because Rachel had strung up Cloud by the ankles and undressed him down to his boxers and put duct tape over his mouth, and the guys were inside, looking at his porno.
"Oh, I don't know. . . Hey gimme that marker.", said Rachel. She walked up to Cloud and put a mouth on the duct tape. "HAH! Now he looks as stupid as her deserves. So Cloudy, learned anything yet?"
"MMHHFFFHHFFMMM!", he said, the duct tape muffling his words.
"Oh, sorry, wrong answer. The lesson is, I DO NOT RUB FEET!"
"I thought the lesson was that you're just sadistic and evil at times.", said another soldier.
"Meh, that's good, too.", shrugged Rachel.
"Okay, all that's left is teams C and D.", said Vincent, team D still watching through the bushes. "Take what you need, and move out. We'll attack while they're asleep." They moved through the tents and the other shot soldiers, unconscious from being hit with so many paintballs, particularly in the head, and took what they needed, and all gathered around the fire, where Vincent stood. "Are we ready? Let's move out." They headed for the bushes.
"Oh crap!", said Laura.
"Follow me!", said Tifa. Vincent's team beat through the bushes, with no sign of Tifa's group, and carried on.
"AGH!", he heard one of his soldiers scream.
"What's going on?! AGGGGH!" Tifa landed on him from the trees, the rest of her troops falling out on top of them, and blasting whoever they missed, and took very few casualties so far.
"Nice to see you, Vincent.", said Tifa with a happy smile. "Now stay still. . ." She pulled out a revolver, and shot him with a paintball.
"Cool! A paintball revolver!", said Jessie.
"Enough of that though. We have to find team C still. . . Let's move."
"HA HA!", laughed Rachel. "Okay, he's learned his lesson.", she said. "Just give him back his clothes, but not his gun. After this, he'd DEFINITELY not hesitate to shoot any one of us. But most importantly, ME."
"Rachel, what horrible torture methods have you employed, NOW?", asked a familiar voice.
"Wha?" She turned around to see Laura holding a gun to Rachel's forehead, and the other people in team D had taken the rest as hostages, and the guys in the cabin were pelted with red paint.
"YOU LOSE!"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA!", laughed Laura, holding the trophy for winning the war games as they walked to Tifa's house to relax.
"Shutup.", said Rachel.
"YOU are just jealous.", said Laura.
"And YOU are gonna be in pain when I jam that thing up your-
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!", yelled Aeris when they opened the door.
"A-Aeris! I thought you were at Costa Del Sol!", said Cloud.
"I WAS, about two days ago!"
"Oops. That's right, it was a two-week course.", said Vincent.
"AND I'VE BEEN WORRIED SICK! GET BACK HERE CLOUD STRIFE!", yelled Aeris to Cloud, running away.
"And that's the man you love?", asked Laura to Rachel, watching with a sweat mark above her head.
"Heheheheheh. . ."