For info see the previous 7 chapters, I'm just sooo tired.

I had to update, its in my blood. Warning - Violence.

Sirius paced erratically in front of the first in the Gryffindor Common Room. And then he was there. His mind was spinning. He could see Remus. Hear him. Smell him. But he wasn't there. Sirius felt as if he was in another world.

He could hear screams. His mother. Remus was waiting outside. He was 7. Sirius was 6, a week to 7. Sirius dashed outside, his mother throwing a pot after him, missing him by, quite literally, a hair. The pot had hit Remus. Blood was everywhere. But neither boys did anything except run. Had to get away from that house.

Sirius was drawn out of the memory, one which he had always kept buried inside of him. 'My mother hates Remus' The 16yr old thought. And he know it was true. But he couldn't force the bad memory's to go away. Sirius collapsed on the couch, which was a lot easier to do than to try and sleep.

The room was spinning again. He was 11. On his way to hogwarts. A Blonde haired boy had bumped into Remus, knocking him over. Sirius bent down and smiled at him. Remus smiled back. Thats when Snivellus' cart went haywire, no doubt James' fault, and nearly took Remus' skull clear off his head. But it missed him. He was fortunate.

Sirius ended up with a broken toe, but the whole day he had thought about Remus' smile. Remus always smiled. But his eyes..they always held sadness. Sirius never knew why.

As Sirius was drawn out of that memory he was aware of the sensation of small tears streaking his cheeks. He could hear Remus and James talking just outside the portrait. Any second they'd be in. Sirius sighed. Everything had been horrible. And now.. now he felt worse. Nothing could make it better. Nothing. Except Remus.

Remus looked to the Fat Lady and bowed, "Fiddle bug" he said, and the portrait opened up and Sirius was there. Crying and all. Remus stared. He was looking right into Sirius' emotions, Sirius was letting him feel.

Remus felt guilty, Sirius' guilt. Remus felt horrible because in truth, he had caused Sirius' tears and he would never want to do such a thing. James felt the guilt too, it was like a cloud that hung over the room. James stared at Sirius and Sirius stared back.

"Gosh Padfoot.." James whispered, glancing back and forth from Sirius to Remus, "I didn't think you were that embarrassed.." Remus glared at James, "He is NOT embarrased!" He said, raising a brow at James. "You were hardly in -this- world for the past few days, you haven't been paying ANY attention!" Sirius yelled.

Remus looked at Sirius. His eyes still held sadness. A sadness all its own.

James strutted the rest of the way to Sirius like a peacock, and Sirius stood, glaring. "And Lily is worse." Sirius muttered. James gave Sirius a harsh shove, forcing Sirius to fall down. "Don't talk about Evans like that!"

"Why, you're not going out!" Remus said, rushing over to help Sirius up. James gave Sirius a harsh kick in the ribs while he was down. Sirius yelped as James dashed to the boys dorm.

"Fuck him." Remus said, helping Sirius up and over to the couch. "No thanks, don't want to bang him. Wouldn't in a million years." Sirius said in a mere whisper, forcing a smile.

"Its okay Sirius. It'll all be okay."

They both knew it wouldn't.

A/N : James had to have a reason for suspecting Sirius for Voldemort's right hand, right? Well, heres part of it..I guess.