It's been so long since I've updated, I'm not even sure if anyone is still interested. I'm sorry it's been so long , but I promise I have a really good excuse. Actually, there's more than one excuse. But I won't get into it here.

Sady I don't own any of the characters of the O.C. I'm just playing around. (Get your mind out of the gutter!)

Even though Ryan had cited curfew as an excuse to leave Theresa, he had plenty of time to get home unless he got caught in major gridlock. He just didn't want to stay and listen to Theresa talk about giving up their baby – if it was their baby. In his heart the child was already his, even if it didn't share the same DNA. No one else could see it or understand it.

Everyone else was too focused on the pitfalls of being a teen parent. But what they – Sandy and Kirsten - couldn't comprehend was that he had never done anything spectacular. His entire childhood had been all about survival. Making sure that he had enough to eat and clean clothes, when his mother was too drunk to worry about mundane household chores. He had to worry about Dawn's latest boyfriend and if he would treat him well or use him as a punching bag.

Ryan Atwood had been even less than ordinary. And now he was part of the miracle of life and they couldn't understand that he wanted to live up to his responsibility and to make something great of the accident of life. He clenched his jaw as all his thoughts swam through his head until it hurt. He didn't know if he could make them understand.

When he reached the development where the Cohens lived he decided at the last minute not to go home yet. He wasn't ready to sit down with Sandy and Kirsten for the inevitable talk. So Ryan just drove, not really pay attention to where he was going. Instead, he concentrated on emptying his mind of all thoughts. Marissa had once described how she did it when she took yoga classes.

Marissa. Ryan hadn't called her since he had come back to Newport. He didn't even think he was interested in seeing her anymore. He guessed they could try and be friends, but Ryan didn't want to get caught up in her drama. She hadn't called him either, and since she was living with Caleb and her mother, he assumed she knew he was home. If not Summer would have told her.

At eleven thirty Kirsten's cell phone rang, breaking him out of his reverie. He glanced at the caller ID. It was either Sandy or Kirsten. He was late and they were checking up on him. He didn't know why, it was as if a stubborn streak possessed him, but he turned the phone off. He knew they'd yell at him when he got home so he turned the car around and started back. Even so, he didn't get back until midnight.

Both Sandy and Kirsten were waiting for him with worried expressions.

"Where were you? Theresa said you left her house over two hours ago."

"And why didn't you pick up the phone when I called?"

Innocently, he glanced down at the metallic flip hone he held in his hand. "Sorry. I forgot to turn it on."

The look Kirsten gave him told him she knew he was full of crap.

"Theresa wants you to call her, no matter what time you get in." Sandy's voice was softer than Kirsten's. "She's worried. Call her. Then we have to talk."

Ryan nodded. He turned to go find the phone, but stopped to ask, "Am I grounded?"

Kirsten put her hands on her hips. "What do you think?"

"Okay. Dumb question." In the family room, he dialed Theresa. "It's me," he said. "Sorry, if you were worried."

He could hear her smile at the other end of the line. "Oh. I figured you were just driving around. Sulking. I saw how you left."

Ryan glanced over his shoulder and saw that Sandy and Kirsten were deep in conversation. "So, why did you really want me to call?" He sank into the couch and brought his feet up to his chest.

"Because I thought of something after you left. I just need you to listen to me. Don't interrupt. Okay."

"'kay.'

She took a deep breath. "You're so insistent that you want to raise this baby. That you're ready to take on the responsibility. But I think you like being the kid."

"What?" He wasn't following her train of thought and she had just started.

"Shut up and listen Atwood." She paused. "You were really pissed when Sandy came to get you. I mean. I know you wouldn't talk to him for days. But it's just two weeks later and you haven't complained for a while. For some reason, I noticed that tonight."

He started to interrupt, but Theresa cut him off.

"You said you would listen. I can tell you're not mad about that anymore. I know how you are when you're angry. And it hit me. You're not mad, because the Cohens were doing what parents do. And you never had that. But now you do. So why do you want to give it up? We can give this kid a better life and you can keep being a kid."

He chewed on his lip until he tasted blood. "Can I talk now?"

"Yes."

"I just need to think. Okay? I don't want to put too much effort into thinking about this until we have the results of the paternity test. I know it's a cop out, but what's the point of thinking and stewing if this kid isn't mine. I won't get to decide."

"Oh. Um." Theresa swallowed. "Okay."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Theresea."

"Nothing. Maybe you should talk to the Cohens."

"As soon as I hang up with you."

"Then good-bye."

"You sound like the AOL lady."

She laughed. "Shut up Atwood." And she hung up the phone.

Ryan stood to put the receiver back on its cradle.

"Ryan, are you ready?"

He sighed. His eyes were getting droopy, but he knew that this was about more than just being an hour late and not checking in. He sat in the chair and let them sit on the sofa.

"The lab called while you were out."

"Oh." So that was why Theresa had suddenly turned so cryptic. He couldn't imagine that the lab would call in middle of the night, but then again, he knew Kirsten and Sandy had thrown their weight around to make sure the results were expedited and that they were informed right away.

"You're the baby's father."

He nodded. His stomach did a strange flip-flop, but he couldn't tell if it was because he was sad or happy, nervous or tired. His arms and legs tingled all over. He Ryan Atwood was going to be a father.

Kirsten hesitantly put a hand on his knee. "You look green. Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah," he breathed. "I knew it was my baby, but now I really know."

"I know that means lots of decisions for you," Sandy started.

"I want to be part of my kid's life."

A meaningful look shot between Sandy and Kirsten, but Ryan didn't understand what it meant.

"It's obvious you guys want me to consider adoption. Unless Rosa was the one leaving all those notes. I particularly enjoyed the one about smoking making your teeth yellow."

Kirsten pursed her lips. "You're trying to change the subject. And don't think I'm finished about the half carton of cigarettes that was found in your room."

"Why was she snooping in my stuff?"

"The bag and its contents fell out of the closet when she went to put your things away. But you're trying to get off topic, and I won't have it. This is serious. You're too young to be a father."

"It's not fair to have Theresa raise this kid on her own."

"She's talking about adoption. You're the one hindering that decision."

Ryan looked at Sandy who was unusually quiet. "You think I should agree to the adoption?"

Sandy sighed and leaned back on the couch. "Yeah. I do. Being a parent is more than just a monetary support and making sure a kid is healthy, dressed and well-fed."

"I know that."

"Give me a chance."

Ryan folded his arms across his chest and despite his sullen expression Sandy knew he would continue to listen.

"Part of being a parent is giving up a part of you. After Seth was born, I never felt complete without knowing he was happy and safe. And this year, when you came to live with us, that feeling extended to you. But I was an adult when Seth was born. I had my opportunity to be a child, so I was ready to lose the small part of yourself that you give up. Ryan, you just became a child in some ways. Don't give it up just yet. In the end, you'll just resent this kid and how will that affect him or her?"

He cast his eyes to the floor, not sure how to respond to Sandy. "I'd never hurt my child."

"I didn't say you would. But kids are smart. Don't you sense when Kirsten or I are mad at each other or when we need some alone time?"

"You guys are sort of obvious."

"It's a perception kids have."

Ryan knew what he meant. Even as young as three or four he knew when his father was mad or when Trey was sick of taking care of him. When he got a little older it was which boyfriend wasn't interested in dealing with kids. Last year he had perceived that Kirsten was weary of her choice to bring him into her home, though he knew she no longer felt the same. So he knew that Sandy was right, his kid would pick up on these things. The question was would he really resent this child?

"We said a lot Ryan. The result of the paternity test in its self is a lot to handle. So go to sleep. Give it some time and think about it."

"What if I decide to keep the child?"

"We'll burn that bridge."

"No. I mean, what if I want to keep it and Theresa doesn't? Will you kick me out?"

"Ryan!" Kirsten's voice was sharp. Not sympathetic. "We've gone over this. You're part of this family. What do have to do to make you believe in us?
"Nothing. Sorry."

"It's okay kid." Sandy slapped him on the knee. "Go to bed."

Sandy and Kirsten were holed up in their room all morning, talking in hushed whispers. A few times, Ryan approached their room and picked up his hand to knock, but each time he stopped, pressed his ear to the door, couldn't make anything out, and walked away. He knew they were talking about him. It seemed like lately they were always talking about him.

Finally, he decided to find Seth and see what he was up to. Ryan found Seth sitting by the pool reading his tattered copy of Kavalier and Clay.

"How many times have you read that?" He slid into the lounge chair next to Seth.

"I lost count." Seth put the book down and looked at Ryan. "What are you up to today?"

"Nothing. Grounded."

Seth raised his brows. "Golden boy?"

"Shove it."

"So what are you in for?"

"I'm not sure if it's being late or not answering your mother's phone once I was late. Either way, Kirsten was annoyed. But it's just for the day."

Seth nodded. "Sure beats my sentence."

"They'll ease up eventually."

"Yeah, but I have to go to court in a couple of weeks. Then they'll just be reminded yet again of what a screw-up I've been."

"They don't think you're a screw up Seth. If anything, that title is reserved for me. The results for the paternity test are in. I'm the father."

Seth whistled under his breath. He stole a sideways glance at Ryan and then looked out over the pool. "So what's next?"

"Theresa seems serious about adoption. And your parents are pretty obvious in what they want."

"What do you want, Ryan?"

He shook his head, his bangs fell into his eyes. The sinking and fluttering feeling in his stomach was again. He thought about how the baby was something great that he could do. He thought about what Theresa had said about him wanting to be a kid. He thought about how Sandy said being a parent meant giving up a part of your self. And Ryan didn't know how to answer. But he didn't have to.

Sandy and Kirsten came out to the pool and stood in front of Ryan and Seth. Sandy snaked his arm around Kirsten's waist and she leaned into him.

"Ryan, we just got off the phone with Theresa. She's driving down here for lunch. Go get ready. We're going out to eat."

"I'm not invited?" Seth chimed in.

"You're grounded," his mother reminded him.

"So is Ryan."

"We just need to talk with Ryan and Theresa alone," Sandy explained.

"You should have just said that in the first place. It's more baby talk. Fine with me. But if I got a vote, I'd say Theresa should give the baby to us and you guys should raise it. I know I'll make a great big brother."

Seth didn't see Sandy's grip tighten around Kirsten's waist or the look that Kirsten shot at Sandy. Ryan saw it. He just thought they were thinking that Seth had finally done it; their son had finally gone over the edge.