Chapter 20: Countdown to the New Year
A/N: I may look ahead, but I'm really behind, considering I'm posting what's almost a year old. . .Anyhoo...Squaresoft owns FF7 and LadyTifa26 owns Laura. It never changes...
"Rachel?"
"Grumble, grumble, waffles please. . ."
"WAKE UP!"
"WHO, WHAT, WHERE?! WHERE ARE THE ENEMIES, CAPAIN?!", yelled Rachel, waking up. "Oh, hey Laura."
"GUESS WHAT DAY IT IS!", Laura yelled.
"Ow, not so loud. . .", complained Rachel. "It's too early. Um, is it Kwanzaa?"
"I don't think so. . . But we don't celebrate that anyway!"
"Aww. . . Okay, is it Wednesday?"
"Yeah, BUT THAT'S NOT IT!"
"But it's hump day! What's more important?!"
"Hump day?", asked Laura. "WHAT THE HELL KINDA HOLIDAY IS THAT?!"
"No, that's the nickname for Wednesday. It's like that because it's the hump, or top, midway point of the week, and it's all downhill from there. Got it?"
"Yeah, I know you're just covering for the REAL meaning. . .", said Laura, suspiciously. "I know it's REALLY just a cover for some sicko thing."
"Whatever. So, what day is it?"
"NEW YEARS EVE!"
"Can I drink?"
"NO!"
"Darn. . ."
Tifa was sitting in the living room, with a laptop in her well, lap, tapping on the keys, when an e-mail came up.
"YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
"AGH!" The speakers were turned up way too loud when the computer blared that out. "Ow, stupid AO-SMELL!"
"Tifa, don't insult the computer.", said Aeris, walking in the door from watering her rose garden.
"Sorry. . .", she said. "It's from Reeve."
"What's it say?"
"It says. . . We are cordially invited to his New Year's Eve party." Aeris clicked on the TV, and there was a bulletin on the news.
"News flash!", said the reporter. "There has been a report, that George Palmer, head of some department we don't care about, has been attacked."
"Palmer?", asked Tifa. "Meh, that loser deserves it."
"I actually agree with you."
"He is currently at the shock trauma center in Midgar, after what seems to be suspicious swords marks all over his body. He was found in an alley, and sources say, that the apocalypse is coming."
"Huh? So, he got mugged by some dude with a knife. Big whoop. Change the channel." Aeris changed it to a talk show, but they were also talking about this.
"Sources say, that these markings are from the formal general himself, Sephiroth. But of course, we all know this is impossible. He died, and here is one of the saviors of the planet herself, Princess Yuffie of Wutai! Bring her on out!" Yuffie walked onstage, waving to the mass of clapping people, waving and cheering.
"Yuffie?", said Aeris. "Why not any of us? Or all of us?"
"Hey there, Mitch.", said Yuffie, sitting down on the couch, next to the star of the show. "It's great to be on your show."
"Ah, but it's a pleasure to have such a lovely lady, AND she's single guys, MROW!" The men in the audience cheered.
"My god. . .", sighed Tifa. "Get the chocobos."
Rachel and Laura walked downstairs, expecting to see Tifa and Aeris, but they were gone, with the TV still on.
"So Yuffie, what was it like, saving the planet like you did?"
"Well, it was nothing really, Mitch.", said Yuffie, leaning into the chair comfortably, holding her head up with one hand, polishing her nails on her shirt but rubbing them. "A couple tosses of my shuriken, and the dude was toast."
"So, you did it by yourself?"
"Of course I did. Too easy."
"WHY THAT &$##$! &$&! &&$#$&&!", yelled Cid at the TV in Rocket Town.
"THAT'S IT! I PITY THE FOOL THAT KNOCKS DOWN MY WORLD SAVING CREDIT!", yelled Barret, leaving his house in the currently under construction town of Corel.
"BY THE NAME OF MY ANCESTORS, SHE WILL PAY!", shouted Red, running out of Cosmo Canyon.
"What?", said Reeve, lifting an eyebrow. He picked up his cell phone to his head. "I'm calling my lawyer."
"She will pay from this moment on, the Chaos she has released!", said Vincent, pulling out the Death Penalty.
"Zzzz. . .snort, huh?" Cloud woke up to the TV he left on the night before. He got out of bed in his boxers, and five seconds later he was running out with his sword over his head, in his boxers.
"Wow, the others are gonna get mad. . .", said Rachel, with a sweat mark.
"You're telling me. . .", said Laura, with the same expression. BAM! A knock was at the door.
"LET'S GO!"
"Um, nice look for you Cloud.", said Laura. Rachel was blushing. Cloud looked down, at his boxers.
"FORGET IT! MUST DESTROY YUFFIE!" Vincent jumped down from the roof and cocked his gun.
"I agree with him. Let's go."
"And you're a princess, is that correct?"
"I don't like to refer to myself as that, but, sure, whatever.", replied Yuffie.
"You hear that! A princess saved us all!"
"NO SHE DIDN'T!" Tifa was storming onstage, with Aeris pulling her back by the arm.
"RATIONALIZE YOUR THOUGHTS FIRST, TIFA!", yelled Aeris with great difficulty of calming Tifa down.
"MUST. . .KILL. . .", said Tifa, almost able to grasp Yuffie, who was cowering in the corner of the couch.
"WHO SAVED THE PLANET?!" Red and Barret came out of the left side of the stage.
"Um. . ." Yuffie was looking extremely nervous. The loud sound of engines was heard, and then Cid came in.
"I DIDN'T DOUBLE-PARK JUST TO SAY FUCKIN' HOWDY-DOO!", bellowed Cid, turning red. The Highwind took up two parking lots, and part if the highway.
"SAY IT, YUFFIE!", said Aeris, struggling more than ever with Tifa. "BEFORE I LOSE CONTROL OF HER!"
"PREPARE TO DIE!", yelled Tifa.
"Um, uh. . ."
"LOOK OUT!" Rachel and the rest were in the viper, and destroyed the back of the set by ramming into it with her viper. "AW, NOW YOU MADE ME SCRATCH THE PAINT!" Cloud's hands were on the wheel, instead of Rachel, and he jumped out in his boxers. On live, national television.
"YUFFIE, YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING THIEF! YOU STEAL THE MATERIA, THE GIL, BUT NOT THE GLORY! NEVER, THE GLORY!" He was fuming, and Vincent stepped forward with Death Penalty.
"This bullet will belong to you, if you want the credit.", he said, rather calmly.
"I represent a Mr. Reeve.", said a guy in a business suit. Reeve walked on with him. "He is willing to drop the charges if you hand over the share of the credit he owns."
"My viper. . ." Rachel was hugging the hood of her car. "YUFFIE! YOU OWE ME A PAINT JOB!"
"WHOOPS!" Aeris couldn't keep Tifa under control.
"YOUR HEAD IS MINE!"
"EEEEEK!"
"WE ARE HAVING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES! SORRY!" On TV screens everywhere, the technical difficulty screen came up.
"CAT FIGHT! CAT FIGHT!" All the men in the audience were cheering as they watched Tifa try to beat the hell out of Yuffie. "TWENTY GIL ON THE BRUNETTE IN THE BLACK MINISKIRT!"
"Well, THAT was embarrassing. . .", said Laura, the only one besides Aeris who kept her sanity.
"Ow. . ." Yuffie was on crutches with a broken arm and a neck brace when she came out of the studio.
"I feel good.", said Tifa, stretching, looking much more pleasant. "I did NOT put my neck on the line to save the world so somebody could take the credit."
"So, how do you plan to pay me?", asked Rachel. "THAT WAS AN EXPENSIVE PAINT JOB!"
"It feels drafty.", said Cloud, walking out in his boxers. "Does anybody have any pants?"
"I'm using mine right now.", said Vincent.
"That sounds almost gay.", said Cid.
"Shut up, spike ass.", said Barret.
"You really should give credit, where credit is due, Yuffie.", said Aeris.
"I feel like I was flattened by a steam roller. . .", she moaned.
"Reeve, what were you telling me?", asked Tifa. "You sent me an e-mail."
"Ah, yes. . .", he said, straightening his tie. "My New Year's Eve party. You are all invited. But, due to the fact that there was an assault on a government official, I will have to relocate for security measures. And so, I need another place to host it. YUFFIE. . .?"
"What?"
"You owe us. You are hosting the party in your palace."
"You better pay for my medical costs. . .", she said. "Godo is gonna go nuts. . ."
"I can he-
"NO.", said Reeve, denying Rachel's assistance. "I assure you, I will be fine with Yuffie's servants. Each of you, bring an escort. EACH OF YOU.", he said, shooting a look at Rachel.
"WHAT?!"
"So far as I know, you couldn't get a date if your life depended on it."
"Can I just not come?"
"NO!"
"Meanie. . ."
"So, each of you need an escort. Okay? I shall see you all at eight."
"Oh yay, I need a stupid escort. . .", said Rachel. "STUPID FORMAL PARTIES!"
"Yeah, as if I have an escort.", said Laura.
"Pfff, you've got Vincent."
"No, Lucrecia does." Rachel was walking into her room, when she spotted some guys sleeping on Aeris' bed. "Um, Laura. . .?"
"What?"
"What the hell is that?"
"I dunno. . .", she said. "Wanna poke it?"
"Aeris. . .", the guy mumbled. "You didn't answer my question. . ."
"Let's."
"AAAAIIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!"
"What the hell was that?", asked Tifa.
"Sounded like a monkey dying. Do you think Rachel is trying to tame a monster again?"
"OWWW!" The man came running downstairs. "I NEED ANTISEPTIC!"
"YOU DON'T POKE HIM WITH YOUR SWORD!", yelled Laura.
"Sorry. . .", apologized Rachel.
"OW! Huh? Oh, hi Aeris. . ." Zack was still here.
"WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!", she said.
"Um, you never answered my question. . .", he said.
"First of all, could you answer mine?"
"Shoot."
"Where have you been sleeping for this entire time?!"
"The shower."
"That explains the black hairs clogging the drain. . .", said Tifa. "That took me an eternity to clean out. . ."
"Hey Tifa, hey Aeris. . .", said Cloud, walking in. "Hey Rachel, hey Laura, hey Zack. . . HUHWHA!?!" He did a double take. "ARE YOU HERE TRYING TO STEAL AERIS?!"
"STEAL?! SHE WAS MINE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"
"NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!"
"HOLD ON!", shouted Aeris. "Please, I hate your fighting. Can we just get along already?"
"SHE'S MINE!"
"NO, SHE'S MINE!"
"QUIET!", she yelled after they began arguing again. "Look. I don't want to be put on the spot, or as some sort of prize-
"EXCELLENT IDEA! A PRIZE!", yelled Zack.
"NO! NO PRIZE!", yelled Aeris. "I'M NOT GOING TO BE A PRIZE! Look, I need an escort to the party. Since Tifa has no experience with being with Zack, I'll go with Zack, and Tifa can go with Cloud."
"WOOHOO! FIRST IS BEST!", shouted Zack. Cloud looked crushed.
"B-but. . .", he said. "I CAN'T LET ZACK WIN YOU OVER!"
"So, win Tifa over, Cloud.", said Aeris. "You can't have both of us, so try in one spot."
"But Tifa already dumped me. . ."
"WAH, WAH!", said Rachel, getting a little annoyed. "This sounds like one of those stupid soap operas! Except with less sex!"
"Thank god. . .", said Laura.
"Just go on with it.", said Rachel. "Besides, I don't think Tifa would mind."
"Actually, I have a long list of numbers that accepted.", said Tifa, closing a little black book.
"YOU CALLED THEM ALL, AND THEY WERE WILLING TO TAKE YOU?!", shouted Cloud.
"Yeah. So?" Cloud whined.
"NOW I NEED A DATE!"
"Fine, I'll go with you. . .",said Tifa. "You just look so pitiful. . ."
"HAHAHA!", he laughed. "SEE?! I AM LOVED BY SOMEBODY!"
"More like pitied.", said Zack.
"Do'h. . ."
"So, how are you gonna find a date?", asked Laura to Rachel.
"I'm just gonna crash it. I prefer doing that anyway."
"You're gonna crash a party?"
"Sure, why not?"
"Reeve, with his connections to Shinra, he'll probably have it guarded."
"Yeah, but Shinra isn't welcomed in Wutai. Plus, why would an electric company need soldiers?"
"To make it a monopolizing business, and more diabolical. And besides, the president owns it. It's a government thing."
"Stupid government. . . But yeah, I'll probably just crash it. And you?"
"I'm stuck. I'm sure Vincent is taking Lucrecia."
"How do you know?" Laura pointed over to Vincent, talking to Lucrecia.
"So, um, would you like to be my escort?"
"Sure!"
"See my point?", asked Laura.
"Well, now I do. I guess we shall now resort to all the dating losers' oasis! TO AN INTERNET DATING SITE!"
"Dork, dork, dork, dweeb, dork, funny hair. . .", said Rachel, looking over all the candidates. "Yep, this is the UN of all weird looking people. Although I DO like the guy with black hair and the chain necklace."
"Nah, it says here his turn-ons are trees, and hair.", said Laura. "That's a bit unsettling, somehow."
"Ah. Do you like anybody?"
"No, either they're cute with weird turn-ons, or, they're just weird."
"Wanna just crash with me? Or just stay at home?"
"Didn't Reeve say you had to come?"
"He can't make me."
"YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
"OW! Tifa's right, this is way too loud." Rachel clicked on the mailbox, and the e-mail read:
"To Rachel:
COME OR DIE!
Yours eternally,
Reeve."
"He's taking this very seriously, wouldn't you say?", said Laura.
"Very? I don't think so. . . He's kidding, I'm sure."
"YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"
"WHY WON'T THIS DAMNED THING SHUT UP!", yelled Rachel. "Okay, here we go:
"To Rachel.
I AM VERY SERIOUS! I AM NOT KIDDING! YOU WILL SHOW UP!
Sincerely,
Reeve."
"I'm beginning to hate him.", said Rachel, sourly.
"I can see why. . . Well, forget it. No matter how many threats he sends, WE'RE JUST GONNA CRASH HERE!"
"OH MY GOD! HE SENT 6,943 E-MAILS TO US SAYING TO COME!", yelled Rachel, about a couple hours later.
"Hmph, you really think he could be more subtle about it?", asked Tifa.
"Oh sure, you're one to talk.", said Aeris.
"What was that?"
"NOTHING!"
"So, we're going?", asked Rachel.
"NOPE! WE WILL NOT BE BUDGED!", said Laura. "WE REMAIN! LET THE FUN-FILLED NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY BEGIN!"
"Pass the fun-filled popcorn, Laura.", said Rachel, bored, sitting next to Laura, watching a rented horror movie.
"Do we have any fun-filled beer?"
"No. They made sure there wasn't any." Rachel belched, and sunk in lower into the couch. "Wow. What an evening."
At the liqueur store, Rachel and Laura were sitting in the viper, discussing their plan.
"We're both underage, so the older one should go in a disguise."
"So I have to go in?"
"Of course.", said Rachel. "Here, put this on. . ."
"Excuse me, my good sir. . .", said Laura, walking up to the counter with a fake moustache on. "I would like to purchase this case of beer, please." The man peered skeptically over the counter.
"Your license, please." Laura pulled it out of her pocket, and scribbled some stuff on it. She added the moustache, and instead of 17, it said 21, and male instead of female. He just looked at it, and back to her. "This doesn't look like you."
"Couldn't Rachel have another disguise. . .?", thought Laura. "Um, that was when my moustache was thinner, and um. . . squiggly.", said Laura.
"You're awfully short for a man."
"HMPH! INSULT MY POOR GENETICS WILL YOU?!", said Laura, beginning to yell. "I DEMAND THAT YOU SELL ME THIS BEER!" The guy shrugged, and began scanning the label of the case of beer. Laura gave the thumbs up sign to Rachel out the window. But the moustache was tickling her nose. "Ah, AH, ACHOO!" The moustache hung off her face. "WHOOPS!"
"What?", asked the man. Laura hid it with her hand. "Um, my moustache is a bit. . .itchy." The man gave her a weird look, and continued to do his job. "That was close. . .", she thought. "I can't believe how stupid this guy is! HAH!"
"LOOK! THERE'S FRED FLINTSTONE!", yelled the man, pointing out the window.
"WHERE?!" Laura remover her hand from her mouth.
"Wow, you're awfully feminine to be a man.", said the guy, looking at her angrily from the counter. "And you're more pretty than handsome."
"I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. . .", said Laura. "BUT HOW DARE YOU CHALLENGE THE FACT OF MY GENDER?! SELL ME THIS BEER THIS INSTANT!"
"And um, you don't quite have the. . .equipment."
"PERVERT!", she yelled. "I NOW DESERVE THE BEER FOR FREE!" She picked it up, and began to walk away. He grabbed her shoulder.
"I don't think so.", he said.
"Are you sure we shouldn'tve crashed the party?", asked Laura, now back in the viper with no beer,
"I thought YOU were against it!"
"No!"
"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?", asked Rachel with this sinister smile.
"Get the spy gear."
"Too bad Lucrecia got sick at the last moment, Vince.", said Tifa.
"No matter.", said Vincent. "Too bad Laura didn't want to go. . ."
"Huh? What was that?"
"It was nothing, Tifa. . ."
"Yeah, leave lover boy alone.", said Zack.
"THAT'S MY LINE!", said Cloud.
"Beat you to the punch! Again. . .", he said, wrapping his arm around Aeris, who was riding her own chocobo, and he was behind her, in a tuxedo.
"Zack, be a little nicer, please.", said Aeris.
"Whatever you say. . .", he said, looking at Cloud who looked angry, and he decided to revel in it. ". . .baby."
"KNIGHT! ATTACK!" Cloud ordered his gold chocobo to ram into the one Zack was on.
"You wouldn't want to hurt Aeris, would you?", asked Zack, before he could attack.
"No. . . DAMMIT! I HATE YOU!"
"Weren't you two friends?", asked Tifa.
"Not anymore since we're after the same girl. . ."
"Acting like a bunch of hormone stricken teenagers. . .", mumbled Aeris.
"What?"
"We're here!" They arrived the enormous, well-lit palace, in the gardens that were brimming with little, well placed lights that made it look like fairies were there.
"WELCOME!", said a guard of Wutai, in front of the door, while the parking there was valet, so the chocobos would be tagged and taken care of. "TO THE PALACE OF THE FIVE GODS!" A gong sounded, and the doors opened, to a grand ballroom, with tables off to the side, and it was full of people, talking, and sitting down, and dancing and such.
"Whoa. . .", said Aeris, walking in. "It's bigger than I remembered."
"NOW WELCOMING. . .", said some dude who announces who arrives. "THE SAVIORS OF THE PLANET, MR. VINCENT VALENTINE, MS. TIFA LOCKHEART, MS. AERIS GAINSBOROUGH, AND MR. CLOUD STRIFE!" Enormous applause was heard.
"Oh, I've always wanted to see you!", said one woman.
"Ah, the youth have saved us.", said an old man, shaking Cloud's hand.
"It's an honor, milady.", said one man, talking to Tifa.
"I think we're popular. . .", said Cloud.
"You can tell?", said Tifa.
"FEEL THE WIND!", shouted Rachel, stepping on the gas pedal in her viper.
"RACHEL! FOCUS!", yelled Laura, applying black streaks under her eyes, and putting on a black ski hat. "DO YOU HAVE THE BUNGEE CORDS!"
"YEP!", said Rachel.
"HOW ABOUT THE METAL HOOKS?!"
"YEP!"
"AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, DO WE HAVE THE SILLY STRING?!"
"FIFTY CANS, BABY!", yelled Rachel, the adrenaline going to her head. "WOOOOOHOOOOOOOO! PARTY! PARTY!"
"Nice, isn't it?", asked Reeve, walking over to the group. "Nothing can go wrong."
"Awfully fancy, isn't it though?", asked Cloud. "I mean, if you had just a couple cases of booze in a small living room, that would've been a party in itself."
"WAHA! Nice party, Reeve.", said Cid, walking in with Shera.
"You brought Shera as your date?", asked Vincent. "You said she was annoying the last time I heard from you."
"Is that so, Cid?", asked Shera. "Then, I shall be leaving you. Hello there. . ." She was talking to this other guy.
"HEY SHERAAAA! I DIDN'T MEAN THAT!" He ran over to her.
"Well, he never changes. . .", said Tifa. "Now she controls his life."
"You know, we shall be dining in a few minutes.", said Reeve. "Lots of liqueur, fancy food, dinner shows, stuff like that."
"At my expense. . .", said Yuffie, walking over with Kalana, helping her.
"Yuffie, are you sure you should be here?", asked Kalana.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"Okay. . ." Kalana walked off with her husband, the Sephiroth/Cloud look-alike.
"So, mister big shot. . .", said Yuffie. "You're paying for all of this, right?"
"Yeah."
"WELL HURRY UP! Godo said no parties while he's gone. . ."
"WHAT?! YOU MEAN HE DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT THIS?!"
"Um, no. . ."
"You just seem to love getting in trouble. . .",said Aeris.
"I have a knack for it.", said Yuffie.
"HEY! THAT'S THE GIRL WHO STOLE MY GIL THE OTHER DAY!", yelled one of the rich looking guys.
"WHOOPS! GOTTA GO!" She jumped up out of sight.
"For somebody injured, she sure handles her acrobatics well."
"OUCH!"
"Nevermind. . ."
"We're infiltrating the palace of the same person who taught us to be ninjas.", said Rachel. "That's a bit odd, and foolish. I LOVE IT!"
"Ah, but don't you?", said Laura. "WE'RE GONNA SHOW THEM HOW TO PARTY!"
"WOOHOO!"
"So, Zack, did you really come back just for me?", asked Aeris, sitting at a table with him, with the lights dimmed for the dinner show. A man was singing a slow song on the stage.
"You bet.", he said with a very attractive smile.
"Then why did my parents come?"
"Do you think they would trust me with their daughter?"
"No parents would ever trust you with their daughter."
"Then there's your answer. You know, I wonder where they went.", said Zack.
"You mean, you have no idea where they are now?", asked Aeris.
"Um, I think I do now. . .",said Zack nervously, pointing behind Aeris. And sure enough, Gast and Ifalna were disguised, pretending to read newspapers to cover their faces.
"Hello guys. . .", said Aeris, pushing down the page of Gast's newspaper.
"Um, hello. . . Who are you?", he said rather falsely.
"Dear, just forget about it.", said Ifalna. "Hey there Aeris. We can't go back until you make your decision with Zack, so, we just sorta stayed here. . ."
"You could've just told me that.", said Aeris. "There are some empty houses in Nibelheim."
"I told you we didn't have to stay in that tent. . .", said Ifalna.
"WELL WHAT?! LIVING OUTDOORS GETS YOU BACK TO NATURE!", said Gast.
"Whatever, honey. . . So Aeris, have you made your decision to keep him?"
"He's nice enough. . .", she said, peering back at Zack, sitting at the table, twiddling his thumbs. "But. . ."
"You like Cloud.", said Ifalna. "Aeris honey, you can't look to us for romantic advice. Look at what I married. . ." Gast was playing a game on an gameboy.
"YEAH! FIRE EMBLEM KICKS ASS!"
"SHH!" A bunch of people turned around and hushed him.
"Critics. . ."
"I see. . .", said Aeris, nervously.
"But I do love your father, even though he has his little antics."
"Still, it feels awkward because you look way too young to be my parents. . ."
"You'll get used to it.", said Ifalna. "To be honest, it feels weird sometimes because you look too old to be my daughter. But you know, just go with what your heart tells you. I did."
"But you married him. . .", said Aeris, looking at her father who was now using two of his forks and put them in two dinner rolls, moving them back and forth like feet, like in that Charlie Chaplin silent movie. Ifalna giggled a little.
"But those are those cute little things he does to make me laugh. He can space out like that, it's true, but it's those little quirks that made this marriage last this long. About 22 years."
"And the fact we never get older from the day we died.", said Gast. "Really comes in handy in the long run. You know-
"Stop right there. . .", said Ifalna. "I'm pretty sure our daughter would be traumatized to know about our, erm, love life."
"I agree. . .", said Aeris, looking really nervous now. "I'm just gonna go before my mind becomes plagued with the. . .images. . ."
"You do that, dear.", said Ifalna. "And remember, just go with what your heart tells you."
"Cloud, put the binoculars down.", said Tifa.
"If he lays one stinkin' hand on Aeris. . .", mumbled Cloud. "He gets my sword up his ass. SHE'S LAUGHING!"
"Okay, so she's laughing. That's a good thing, right?", asked Tifa. "I mean, happy is good."
"Not when it concerns HIM. . .", said Cloud.
"Aeris is right. You really are acting rather juvenile."
"Juvenile?", said Cloud. "JUVENILE?! Oh, you haven't seen juvenile. Trust me, I haven't hit that low yet."
"Yeah, you're just crazy. You know, people are wondering why you're using binoculars. You look like a stalker."
"Aeris, I SWEAR YOU SHALL BE MINE!"
"Thank god I don't like you anymore, otherwise I'd be insulted. . .", said Tifa.
"WHAT?!", said Cloud. "YOU DON'T LIKE ME?!"
"Forget it Cloud, I'm over you. . ."
"Aww. . ."
"Aeris. . .", said Zack. "Do you think we would be together now if I didn't die?"
"I don't know Zack.", said Aeris. "Maybe. But then, you and Cloud would've been in business together like you discussed, and it would've been totally different. You know, I don't think Cloud would be the way he is if you didn't die. I really wonder what he would be like if he hadn't mistaken his memories for yours. He was really just continuing your life. Don't get me wrong, you can be very charming, but. . ."
"You love him.", he said. "I know. I just thought I had another shot at it."
"Hold on Zack, let me finish.", she said. "I like you, too. Just give me tonight to think about it." He gave his jaunty grin.
"You won't regret it."
"Okay, the string is here, right?", asked Laura, from a ledge on the ceiling.
"Yep.", said Rachel, pulling out a bag. "This'll be fun. . . How do we rig it?"
"Leave it to the master. . ."
"Now he's smiling. . .", said Cloud. "I don't like it Tifa. I don't like it at all. . ."
"Then do something about it, Mr. Suave.", she said. "Nothing will get done if you don't go for it."
"Okay then.", he said, standing up. "Would you care to dance?"
"Me?", asked Tifa.
"You heard me. Would you?"
"If you'll shut up, sure.", she said. "Let's."
"Hey look, they're dancing. . .", said Aeris, watching a few couples get up to dance.
"Well then, milady, would you?" Zack stood up and held out his hand, and smiled.
"Zack, I never took a dancing lesson in my life."
"All the more reason to learn now.", he replied. "Come. Just follow my lead."
"Is she getting jealous?", asked Cloud, looking over at Aeris and Zack.
"Ugh, I don't know.", said Tifa. "Just ask her to dance. She's not somebody who gets jealous very easily."
"That is true. . .", said Cloud. "BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?!THAT'S ONE REASON I LOVE HER!"
"SHHHH!" People behind him were growing annoyed at his manner.
"Sorry. . ."
"Hmm, they look good together, really.", said Aeris, watching Cloud and Tifa slow dance. Tifa was resting her head on Cloud's shoulder, but before Aeris could look any longer, Zack gently moved her head to face his.
"And you know, I bet we'd look even better.", he said softly.
"And what, you have a mirror?"
"No, just a good guess. Wow, you really can't dance, can you?"
"Two left feet.", said Aeris, removing he right foot off of his. "But it would have been more romantic if you said something other than an insult."
"So what, you want me to say you're beautiful?"
"It's true, there is no girl in existence that wouldn't want to be called beautiful. . .", said Aeris.
"Yes, but there is no point in repeating to a girl what she already knows.", replied Zack.
"Nice retort.", said Aeris with a smile.
"But isn't it?", he said, returning the look.
"DAMMIT!", hissed Cloud. "They're smiling again!"
"How perceptive. . .", said Tifa. "Just go and ask her. My feet can't take it, with you tripping all over them." She left him to it, and returned to their table.
"H-hi Aeris. . .", he said, looking a bit nervous.
"Oh, hi Cloud!", she said, happy as ever.
"My, my, isn't that Aeris and Cloud?", asked Rachel, looking down from the ledge. Laura squinted.
"Yep, pretty sure.", said Laura. "We only have a little more silly string to rig, so hurry up!", she urged.
"AYE, AYE, CAP'N! WOOHOO!"
"So, what is it Cloud?" Zack began to scowl a little, as Aeris talked to him.
"I was just wondering if, you would, um, like to-
"ALL RIGHT EVERYBODY!", shouted a man onstage. "IT IS TIME TO START. . .THE MAMBO!"
"What?!", shouted Cloud.
"WHAT?!", shouted Laura. "But Cloud can't dance!"
"How do you know?"
"I've seen him, dancing at home in his boxers when he thinks I'm out.", said Laura.
"Oh, lovely. . ."
"GRAB A PARTNER, AND WE SHALL BEGIN!" The band struck up a fast Latin song, and people picked up the pace. Tifa and Vincent walked on to watch Cloud's progress, and Cloud was swept up into the flurry of feet, as did Aeris and Zack.
"WHOAAAA!", shouted Cloud, suddenly being pulled away.
"AHHH!", screamed Aeris.
"AERIS!" Zack was separated from her, and stepped off to the side to try and find her.
"OW! OW! OW!", yelled Cloud, being thrown everywhere. "OOF! SORRY! OW! SORRY! SORRY ABOUT THAT! SORRY FOR STEPPING ON YOUR FOOT!"
"CLOUD!" Aeris made her way out to the opposite side of the dance floor of where Zack was standing, and called him over.
"So Vincent, what do you think of the odds he makes an idiot of himself?", asked Tifa.
"Most likely, he'll make such an idiot of himself, he'll be in his room for a month without seeing her.", said Vincent, taking the lead in the dance.
"I think I'll lead. . .", said Tifa. "For once, in my life. But I don't know. . .", she said. He watched Cloud catch up to her, and they walked off together. "It looks like he knows what he's doing. For once, in his life."
"Isn't that a bit harsh?"
"The truth can be harsh."
"Good point."
"So, what was it Cloud?", asked Aeris, out on the balcony.
"Well, I was gonna ask if you'd like to dance, but I don't think I'll be wanting to commit suicide. . .", he said, watching the others dance.
"A bit sudden, wasn't it?", she asked.
"You noticed?"
"Of course, Cloud. I always try to keep an eye on what you're doing. Nice binoculars.", she said, walking to the ledge. He hid it behind his back and blushed.
"Well, you can't blame me."
"For being a stalker? I bet I can.", she said. "But it's soon to be the new year. Want to change all that?"
"If I could change events in my past, maybe I would.", he said. "It was never easy, but you know. . ." He walked over to her, and looked her straight in the eye. "When we met, I know now, that I would not have traded any event in my past, that could have led up to that. I've lived my life regretting these things, but knowing now, that if those never happened, I wouldn't know you. And I'd never trade something like that."
"HEY! HEY!", shouted Rachel. "WHERE'D THEY GO?!"
"I think they went out onto the balcony.", said Laura. "Just wait and see Rachel, she might be stealing his heart."
"NOOOOO! CLOUDY! NOT YOU!", Rachel yelled.
"PIPE DOWN!", said Laura. "They'll hear you. I'm rigging the last one. Prepare for the show."
"Oh yeah, Cloud's heart isn't the only one being stolen.", said Rachel. "Tifa is down there, dancing with Vincent."
"Big deal.", said Laura sourly.
"Your attitude about him changed all of a sudden.", said Rachel. "Why?"
"You know, I never want to be second best. I refuse to be just some other person, playing second fiddle to Lucrecia. You know, I really do like him, but, it's just that, I have a feeling I tend to be just a replacement. Sure, he likes me too, but at Christmas, I had this feeling, that just because Lucrecia wasn't there at the time, it made me the one his affections went to. If I am the one he'll be doting on, I want to be the first he thinks of, not second. Do you get what I mean?"
"That was. . .pretty.", said Rachel. "AWWW! LAURA LEARNED A LESSON IN LOVE!"
"And you can't get a date if your life depended on it.", said Laura, a little annoyed.
"Don't rub it in. . ."
"LET'S GO!"
"HELLOOOOOOO, EVERYBODY!", said a voice from the ceiling. Everyone looked up. The spotlight focused on Rachel, coming down on a bungee cord. "I WOULD LIKE TO INTRODUCE MYSELF!"
"RACHEL! GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!", yelled Cid.
"OKAY, WELL I GUESS YOU KNOW ME! AND THIS, IS LAURA!" The spotlight moved to her. "AND WE, ARE GONNA SHOW YOU HOW TO PARTY! LAURA! THE REMOTE IF YOU PLEASE!" Laura took out a remote with a large red button. "PRESS THE BUTTON!" The rigged all the silly string to release after the button was pressed.
"WAIT!", yelled Vincent. "HOLD ON!" Cloud and Aeris didn't know what was happening, because the door to the balcony was closed.
"WOOOHOOOOO!" Laura pressed the button, and nothing happened. "What?" People started laughing. "OOOPS! NO WONDER! WRONG REMOTE! THIS IS FOR YOUR CAR! HERE WE GO!" Silly string exploded from the ceiling, covering the walls and people around them. "OH YEAH! THIS IS MORE LIKE IT!" BANG! Vincent shot his gun, and cut the ropes from the ceiling that kept them suspended. "Whuh, oh. AHHGGHHGHGHGHGHHGH! OOF!" Vincent caught Laura, but Rachel landed face down on a table.
"M-my head. . .", moaned Rachel. "O-ow. . ."
"What do you think that was?", asked Aeris, who had heard the screams.
"Meh. Probably just a magic act or something."
"WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!", yelled Vincent. He grabbed Laura by the arm, and walked to a separate balcony, a few away from Cloud's and Aeris'.
"I thought I'd have a little fun. What, is that against the law?" Laura had this angry look on her face.
"Look. The people in there are fine, because silly string is easy to peel off. Everything will be fine when it's all cleaned up, but tell me, WHY DID YOU CRASH THIS PARTY?! YOU COULD'VE COME!"
"Well Vincent, maybe I just didn't feel like it." She refused to look him in the eye.
"Why? You don't have an escort? Well, I don't either. Lucrecia is sick."
"Then stay home with her, if you love her so much.", said Laura.
"Why are you being so difficult all of a sudden?"
"Why are you being do nosy all of a sudden?"
"Don't play games with me.", he said, his temper running short.
"Then don't with me." She was about to walk out the door, when he grabbed her wrist.
"Aww. . .", said Rachel, forced to clean up the mess, with Reeve watching her. "This sucks. . ."
"DAMMIT!", yelled Vincent. "GIVE ME A LITTLE RESPECT WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!"
"It's not like this was your party.", said Laura. "And what's with you? What's eating you all of a sudden? I mean, really, Vincent getting angry? That's like, one of the least likely things I ever expected to see."
"I just don't want you to get into trouble. . .", said Vincent.
"Wow, you really care.", said Laura. "I'm touched."
"Please, stop being like this. . .", he said, retreating to the darker side of the balcony. "You're, you're not the one. . . just. . ."
"What is it?", she asked. "The great Vincent lost for words?"
"You're not yourself right now. This isn't the side of you that I'm used to."
"Shows you I'm not one dimensional.", she said, leaning on the railing of the balcony.
"Who said I thought you were one-dimensional?", asked Vincent, staying on his side of the balcony. "I never thought you were one dimensional. Ever since I saw you try and brighten Tifa's mood, and lord knows when she gets angry, you should head for the hills, I stopped to think about that."
"Think what?"
"That you weren't just some crazy fan girl with a crush.", he said. "I may be eleven years older than you, but that doesn't mean we're too far apart on some emotional basis to be so completely different that we cannot venture and take a glimpse of each others' thoughts, or feeling, or lives even."
"That was sure a long sentence.", said Laura. "And it's lovely to know that you acknowledge my existence but. . ."
"Laura," he said. "Would you like to be my escort?"
"Stupid Reeve. . .", mumbled Rachel. "I PAID A LOT OF GIL FOR THIS SILLY STRING!"
"Good.", he said. "Now you can clean it up."
"Aw. . ."
"That's nice, Cloud. What you said, you know.", said Aeris, putting her hand over his. "But even if you didn't appear then, I have a feeling we would've known each other. I'm just lucky I got a chance to live again."
"No. . .", said Cloud. "No way. That moment in time, is way too rare. And you know, moments that are that precious, are just as rare. Right?"
"Cloud, stop acting.", said Aeris. "You're no romantic."
"Finally got it then, huh?", he said, putting his hand behind his head. "I'm just not good at it."
"No, you were fine.", said Aeris. "It's just not you."
"FIVE!", chanted the people, counting down to the New Year.
"You prefer me to be the unromantic being that is Cloud Strife?", he asked.
"FOUR!"
"I like you, for who you are. And when you are ready to show me just the person you are. . ."
"THREE!"
"What? What?" He didn't understand.
"I don't think so, Vincent.", said Laura. "I won't be second in your heart."
"But you're. . ." He faltered. "You're not. . ." She turned around and smiled, as she reached for the handle to the door.
"You're a really bad liar. Tell me, when you'll tell the truth."
"TWO!"
"I'll be ready to accept you. . ." Zack was looking through the glass door, and so were Gast and Ifalna, crowding around him, prying into his business with huge grins. "No matter who you are, or choose to be. Really."
"ONE!"
"That's nice to know. . ."
And to spare you, the reader's constitutions, I think you know what they did next. Yeah, that's right. They kissed. AND IF YOU THOUGHT OTHERWISE, YOU ARE EITHER STUPID, PERVERTED, AND WRONG! Heh! My kind of people.
"See you later, Vincent." Laura closed the door.
"HAPPY NEW YEAR!" The fireworks exploded in huge blossoming bursts, while the people of Wutai had festivals in the streets, and set off even more fireworks for themselves. Vincent looked up to them, and merely smiled.
Well, she had a point.
"I think. . .", said Zack, putting on his scarf. "That it's time for us to go."
"Aw, do we have to?!", asked Gast.
"Honey, it's for the best. . .", said Ifalna. "She's happy, we can return, and the dead don't belong in the living realm anyway. We'll visit some other time."
"In time for the Super Bowl? YEAH! GO ICICLE INN BANDERSNATCHES!"
"Whatever. . .", said Ifalna, sighing. "They're at the bottom of the league, though."
"Don't remind me." Zack took one last look at Aeris, and then back at the other two.
"See you later, Aeris. I think I know your answer. No." And in a blue mist, he and the others vanished.
"MY GOD!", shouted Rachel. "I HAVEN'T EVEN CLEANED HALF OF THIS PLACE!"
"Put your back into it. . .", said Reeve.
"Ow. . ."
"Where've you been?", asked Tifa.
"Ah, nowhere.", replied Laura. "Just outside, talking to the shadows."
"You can get help with that?", said Tifa, implying the joke.
"Ha, ha, not very funny.", said Laura.
"What do you think Godo will do when he sees this mess?"
"WHAT THE HELL?!" Godo walked into his court, and began cursing in Japanese. "YUFFIE!"
"Uh, RUN!", shouted Laura.
"GOTTA GO!", said Rachel, speeding off.
"WHY IS MY BALLROOM COVERED IN SILLY STRING?!"
"SEE YA'!"
AN3: ::tired and exhausted::
Aeris: YAY! A HAPPY ENDING!"
Rachel: Although, pretty much every chapter has a happy ending.
Sephiroth: Except at the end, WHEN I KILL YOU ALL!"
AN3: Aw, shut up. Give the evil a rest, already, will ya'?
Tifa: Wow, you seem annoyed.
AN3: This, is THE WORST chapter. EVER!
Laura: Aw, it wasn't THAT bad. . .
Keo: Yeah, it only sucked a little. . .
AN3: Yeah, thanks, I feel MUCH better NOW. . .
Konoshi: Does that mean AE is done? FOREVER?!
AN3: Hell, I dunno, do you want it to end?
Mike: Well. . .
Sadie: Um. . .
Sephiroth: YES! YEESSS!
AN3: I'll leave that up for you to decide. If it does continue, the chapters will probably be shorter because there are no holidays soon. Don't ask, I feel like crap now. Excuse me while I curl up and die in a corner. walks off
Rachel: Uh, YEEEAAAAAH. . . I guess she's wondering if this is a complete waste of time, and whether it's worth it. Anyway, um, I guess that's it. . . I'll go comfort her now. Um, Happy New Year's from the cast of Alternate Earth?
Cast: waving, exchanging odd looks We're just gonna go and insure our future. . . SEE YA'!