Chapter 21: Two of a Kind p.2, Welcome, Christina Strife.
A/N: It'll just be easier this way. FF7 is owned by Squaresoft, and LadyTifa26 owns Laura. The end.
"WHAT THE. . .?!" Lucrecia stood before the glowing green tank, broken and empty with shards of glass on the ground. "WHAT HAPPENED?!"
"What is it?" Vincent stepped down into the basement. "Did something go wrong with your experiment?"
"This is all wrong. Something triggered this." Lucrecia was receiving data from the console, and noticed a draft. Her eye caught sight of the opened window up near the ceiling. "I think something broke in. Vincent, if this is what I think happened, tell the others to look around for a strange person, or footprints, or anything, will you please?"
"I knew it was a bad idea to accept their offer. . .", he sighed. "Yes. I shall go."
"Ugh, I hate doing laundry. . .", mumbled Rachel, carrying a basket of it down to the basement of Tifa's house. "Sorting, cleaning, drying, BAH! I HATE IT!" Rachel set the basket down, and went off to see if she dropped anything.
"Erm, uh. . .HEH!" A hand moved out from behind the washer, and took a few articles of clothing from the clean laundry basket, beside the dirty one.
"Here we go. . .", said Rachel, picking up the clean one to take upstairs. "Hmph, that's odd. I remember it being a bit heavier. I'M NOT COMPLAINING, THOUGH!"
"Cloud, have you seen my other pair of boots?", asked Tifa, sitting on the stairs at the front of her house.
"Nope, nothing. . .", he said, drinking some coffee and reading the comics in the newspaper. "But have you seen my comb?"
"Nah, not me."
"ACK!" Laura ran in. "Has anybody seen my Crystal bangle? With the Fire materia at the end?"
"No.", said Tifa. "That's weird. We're all missing stuff."
"I GOT THE LAUNDRY!", declared Rachel. "It feels like some stuff is missing, though."
"Has anybody of you seen some odd stranger?" Vincent finally came to their house.
"No, but we're missing a lot of stuff.", said Tifa.
"And somebody broke into my basement.", said Vincent.
"AW, DON'T WORRY VINCE!", said Rachel. "IT WAS PROBABLY A RACCOON!"
"I hope you are right. . .", sighed Vincent.
"I'll go out and try to find it.", said Cloud. "Laura, Rachel, you go and try, too."
"AWW! BUT I'M SHTILL EATHING!", said Rachel, with a mouthful of bacon.
"MOVE IT!"
"Aw. . ."
"La, la, la, la, la, laaa-
"SHHH!" Laura had to quiet Rachel while searching around the brush surrounding Mt. Nibel.
"HMPH! Sorry if you don't like Peter's theme from 'Peter and the Wolf', by Tchaikovsky!", said Rachel.
"You're being WAY too smart lately. It's creeping me out.", said Laura. "Could you tone it down a bit?"
"Fine. . . Who's that?" There was a girl with long blonde hair and blue eyes, sitting in the tree in the distance, wearing baggy pants, tucked into the top of her boots, a blue shirt with white gloves that went up her arms, earrings, a belt on her right leg and left arm, and two bracelets.
"Um, I dunno. . .", said Laura. "It's not like I have all the answers. . ."
"Hey, I wasn't insinuating that. . .", said Rachel. "Let's go talk to her."
"Stranger than your sympathy, and this is my apology, I hurt myself from the inside out, and now my head's filled with doubt. . .Huh?" Cloud was singing as he searched for the missing items, and had stumbled on a pile of a few of them. "AH HA! I, THE GREAT CLOUD STRIFE HATH FOUNDETH THESE RELINQUISHED ITEMS! COME AWAY!" He picked them up and was about to walk away, when he heard growling behind him. "Who?" A horde of raccoons were surrounding him. "Oh, SHIIIIIIITTTTT! AAAAHHHHHHHH!" The horde of them began chasing him, and trying to bite him for the stuff, and he ran like well. . .a schoolgirl. "AAAAAHHHHH! HELP ME TIFA! AAAHHHHHH!"
"Hey, who are you?", asked Laura to the girl in the tree. Her head snapped to attention in their direction, and she hopped out. She peered around curiously at them, and Rachel and Laura couldn't help but feel. . .uncomfortable.
"Me?", asked the girl. "You? Who are. . .you?"
"Oh, um, if you want our names, I am Laura, and this is my dimwitted cohort, Rachel."
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A DIMWITTED COHORT?!", yelled Rachel. The girl took a step back from her yelling.
"YOU, because, YOU, are scaring her off with your violent yelling!", said Laura. "Now, who are you?" The girl paused for a moment.
"I am. . ." She continued to pause.
"You are. . .?" Rachel was resorting to hand signals.
"STOPPIT!"
"I am who you think I am.", said the girl.
"Well, then we shall call you 'strange'! OW!" Rachel was slapped over the head.
"No, um, how about we give you a name?", asked Laura.
"That would be. . .fine." The girl seemed to struggle with her words.
"Okay, how about. . ." She thought about who this girl resembled the most. "Christina?"
"That would be all right. . .", said the girl. She had a very soft spoken manner, and seemed a bit timid. And her eyes seemed to give off an odd glow.
"HEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPP!" Cloud was running in their direction. "THE RACCOONS! AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" The girl's eyes narrowed, and ran towards him. He continued to run, but the raccoons stopped. She made a few facial gestures and clicking noises, and the raccoons ran off.
"UH BUH?!", went Rachel. "I KNOW A BETTER NAME! SHE WHO SPEAKS WITH RACCOONS! OW!" This time, Cloud hit her over the head.
"That, is the DUMBEST name you could scar a person with."
"No, there's Melvin.", said Laura.
"Good point. But where did you find this girl?"
"Over there.", said Rachel, pointing to a tree. Christina came over, and just stared at Cloud.
"Um, what's her problem?", asked Cloud.
"I don't know. All I know is that she speaks to raccoons, doesn't really know her name, and doesn't say much."
"Well, I found our stuff.", said Cloud. "We can go now. And what was her name?"
"Christina.", said the girl. Her eyes had the same MAKO shimmer as Cloud's.
"Um, well then Christina, will you be coming back with us?" She looked at Laura, who had an approving look, then at Rachel, who was slowly trying to grapple Cloud's arm.
"STOPPIT!", yelled Cloud.
"Okay then.", said the girl, looking rather blank.
"Have you seen them?", asked Tifa.
"YEP! WE GOT 'EM!", said Cloud. He dumped the contents on the table.
"ACK! THIS IS THE LAUNDRY!", said Tifa.
"So? That's some of the stuff that was missing, right?"
"MY BRA IS IN HERE! DON'T LOOK YOU PERV!"
"But I've seen them dozens of times.", said Cloud. "Each and every one."
"GET AWAY!", said Tifa.
"Oh fine. . . OH PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PUH-LEEEEASSE CAN I SEE THEM?! I'M DESPERATE!"
"AWAY!", she yelled.
"Aw. . ."
"Aren't you coming in?" Laura was asking Christina if she was, but she stayed outside. "Is there something wrong?"
"She's probably afraid of wailing banshees.", said Rachel. "OW!" Tifa hit Rachel over the head. "Sorry. . ."
"Lucrecia, is this the person you were asking about?" Vincent walked over with her. Lucrecia examined her briefly, and came to her decision.
"It can't be.", she said. "We're looking for a Tseng look-alike. She doesn't look at all like Tseng. But tell, me. Where are you from?" This girl looked about the age of fifteen, and her demeanor was rather quiet.
"There." She pointed to the woods.
"The woods? I think she means Rocket Town or some other place in that direction.", said Lucrecia. "Nobody could live in that forest."
"She talks to raccoons.", said Rachel. "That's one hell of a national language if that's what you mean."
"But I don't believe this is the person.", said Lucrecia. "I found some footprints, and they're not hers. But. . ." She looked at Cloud, then the girl. "They bear a strange resemblance, wouldn't you say?"
"Aw, she's cute, but she doesn't really look like me.", said Cloud.
"Cute.", said the girl. "You.", she said. "Who are you?"
"Um, I'm Cloud. . .", he said. "Cloud Strife. Do you have a last name?"
"My last name was Christina.", she said. "Do I have a new one now?"
"Um, that's not what I meant. . .", he said, moving his arms rather nervously. "I mean, do you have a name that goes with that?"
"I LIKE 'STRIFE', TOO!", said Christina, with a happy smile. "Can I have that one?"
"NOOOOOO!", said Rachel. "ONLY I CAN HAVE THAT ONE! ISN'T THAT RIGHT CLOUDY!"
"GET AWAY!", said Cloud. "Fine, if it pleases you, you can have Strife as a last name. RIGHT RACHEL?!"
"Right. . .", she sighed.
"HOLD ON!" Lucrecia grabbed Christina's right arm. "I remember that this must be there in the first place. There it is." On her right wrist, there was written "02". "But this is impossible. She would have to look like Tseng. TO THE LAB!" She ran off, with Christina's arm still in hand, and was forced to run off with her.
"Are all scientists this easily excited?", asked Laura.
"I guess you must be. . .", replied Rachel.
"Here is the data. . .", said Lucrecia, pulling out a long list that trailed to the floor. "This isn't the formation of Tseng's DNA. Which I suppose figures to why she doesn't look like him. . ." Laura was trying to get her crystal bangle off Christina's neck.
"HISSSSSS!" Christina made a succession of angry noises that you'd get from an animal, and Laura backed off uneasily.
"Woo boy. . ."
"What the. . .?!" Lucrecia was examining the tube that was broken, and found a single blonde hair. Cloud looked around nervously. "WHO'S IS THIS?!" They all pointed to Cloud, the only original blonde there.
"OKAY! SO I WAS CURIOUS! BIG DEAL!" Lucrecia scanned Cloud's hair, and then a skin sample (painful), and a blood sample (hates needles), and a urine sample (not at all painful, but. . .odd), and came back with her results.
"Can I take off this paper gown. . .?", asked Cloud, embarrassed.
"Gives you a good view of back here.", said Rachel, sitting in a chair propped up against the wall, with her feet up and a bag of popcorn.
"WHERE DO YOU GET THAT POPCORN?! DO YOU CARRY IT WITH YOU?!"
"I dunno. I just find it."
"Whoops, sorry. Bad habit. I drop those everywhere because I like it so much.", said Lucrecia. "Yeah, you can put your pants back on, but it's useless to do so."
"Why? I'm sure it'd stop the draft that's blowing it up.", he said.
"Um, no. That's me. . .", said Rachel, with a fan. "I think I'll stop now. . ."
"YEAH, YOU DO THAT!" Christina was smiling all the time they were fighting like that.
"Does she like. . .him?", asked Christina, struggling with her words, but able to get it out.
"You bet. . .", said Laura nervously. "Perhaps TOO much. . ."
"AHEM!" Lucrecia readjusted her glasses, and stood up straighter, as she picked up her clipboard. "Okay Cloud, here are the results. . . Um, how should I state this? It's almost like uh. . ."
"What?"
"She's like your daughter. . ."
"WHAT?!", he yelled.
"You see, after all these tests, I have proven that the sperm used was, er, yours. . . And the hair was too, so it must have overridden Tseng's DNA, and here's some other odd fact I can prove without running the tests. . ."
"And what is THAT?!", yelled Cloud. "YOU MADE A FLYING PONY?!"
"Calm down. . .", she said. "Now, the thins is. . . There was no ova that they gave me, so I uh, sorta used my own, and that means. . ." She had this extremely nervous look that made everything very not very assuring. "She sort of my daughter, too. . ."
"Well, THIS is another way to get a kid. . .", said Tifa. "Hmph! Congratulations, Cloud."
"ABA BEBO! WHO?! WHAT?! WAIT! NOOOOOO!", he yelled. "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG OR NASTY THIS TIME! AT LEAST GIVE ME THE LUXURY OF THAT!"
"Wow Cloud, I didn't know you liked me so much. . .", said Lucrecia. "Do you LIKE older women or something?" As Lucrecia was teasing him, Vincent was giving him the evil eye.
"I think I'll take the liberty of just giving you a handshake instead. . .", said Cloud, noticing it.
"Good, Cloud. I just HATE killing my friends.", said Vincent.
"Eeeeeepp. . .", went Cloud.
"Whoa. . .", said Rachel. "SOOOOO, this means, that Cloud, is technically Christina's father."
"Yeah. She said that.", said Tifa. "Got it?"
"Just one question. . ." Rachel got up and stood and stared at Christina, who was getting more nervous the longer she stared "Why is she a teenager? The last time I checked, I wasn't born like this."
"And I'm damn sure your mother is happy she didn't have that much of a struggle.", said Tifa.
"QUIT IT!", yelled Rachel.
"You see, I found a way to speed up, and slow down, the aging process.", said Lucrecia. "Aging is also the way a cell reacts to chemicals in the body. Like in smoking or something, you look older, but that's only because the moisture is being taken out of your skin."
"And THAT is why Cid looks older than he is.", said Rachel.
"Exactly.", said Lucrecia. "But chromosomes effect aging, as well as those chemicals. Chromosomes can dictate how a person ages, and how sensitive they are to the aging chemicals. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO ASK ME THESE QUESTIONS!" She began pulling down a screen, and pulling out a movie projector.
"So Vincent, you really like these perky girls?", asked Laura.
"WHO?! WHAT?!", he yelled. "But. . . You. . . HMPH!" He just tightened the grip on his cloak and looked away.
"Hey, I didn't mean to get you angry. . .", she said. He didn't respond. "Fine, fine, just when I was beginning to like you again. . ."
"WHAT?!"
"KIDDING!"
"YESSSS!", said Lucrecia, tears of joy coming from her eyes. "THIS IS SOMETHING I ASSEMBLED MYSELF! THIS IS YOUR GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING EVERYTHING I DID TO MAKE THIS GIRL WHO SHE IS!" She grabbed Christina's arm, and pulled her up. She had no idea what was going on. "YES! MY DAUGHTER! I AM SO PROUD. . ."
"You're proud of your test tube child?", asked Rachel.
"DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!", yelled Lucrecia. "The early years can be SO impressionable. . ."
"She's what? Fifteen?", she asked. "I don't think-
"SLIDE'S DONE REWINDING!", said Lucrecia. "LET'S PLAY IT!"
"Your guide to CHROMOSOMES!", said a voice you'd here in a sex ed. class in the fifties. "Chromosomes can dictate who you are, and what you are good at! Such as chromosome O, and chromosome S. O means that you are particularly good at strength, and S means you are good at speed. Chromosomes are responsible for many things. . . Now! As for the aging process, the reaction to chemicals in the cells, and how the chemicals react to the chromosomes already in the body is very important. Certain materials age the body, while some preserve its state! YES! THIS IS THE FASCINATING WORLD OF DNA!"
"Yeah. I now I KNOW she assembled this. . .", mumbled Rachel.
"If the chemicals age the cells, their growth and development will change more rapidly, and if deprived, they will remain youthful.", said the voice. "But alas, the body succumbs to old age. It is a process all too familiar. But chemicals can change this! Even today, people are living longer lives, because of these chemicals. So, body changes are affected by these natural chemicals. But let us discuss the aging of these cells. When a cell is exposed to a certain chemical, the cell may reproduce itself faster than it would, making development faster, or it will start the growth of another formation, yet to be there due to growth. One example is a baby being born without kneecaps. They don't normally come in for a few months, but when they start developing, BABY DO THEY GROW! Since animal cells lack a cell wall, and thus, they tend to help anything that can be, across its cytoplasm. ANYTHING. Even a virus! They cannot tell apart right from wrong, so anything will be absorbed. That explains why they will accept the chemicals. Let us call this one Chemical Y for a moment. Let us say Chemical Y is accepted, and it's a growth chemical. This means, the cell will age, and it cannot tell that is bad. That in itself, is pretty much a summary here. And-
"THAT'S ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!", said Lucrecia, flipping off the projector, and the lights on. "SO, I PUT A CHEMICAL IN THERE TO ASSIST HER AGING, BUT AS SOON AS SHE LEAVES THE TANK, THE CHEMICAL IS REMOVED FROM HER BODY! THIS MEANS, HER DEVELOPMENT WAS ASSISTED UNTIL HER AGE NOW! And nothing looks broken. . ." Lucrecia was examining her "daughter" again. "I AM SOOOOO PROUD!" She was hugging Christina happily, and Christina was just standing there, unsure what to do. She figured she'd just copy this strange woman's actions. So, she hugged her back. "AND SHE IS SOOOO SMART! THAT'S MY GIRL!"
"Cloud? Cloud?" Rachel was waving her hand in front of his blank face. "I don't think he's handling fatherhood well. . ."
"Can you say 'mommy'?", asked Lucrecia.
"Don't baby her. . .", said Vincent. "She doesn't even understand your behavior."
"Mommy?", said Christina.
"YES! YES! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!", laughed Lucrecia.
"She's really enthusiastic. . .", said Laura.
"You noticed?", asked Tifa.
"It's one o'clock. It is STILL too early to know how to age cells.", said Rachel, leaning against a tree. Laura was sitting with her, and so was Christina, where Lucrecia was teaching her things.
"Now, this is how you graph a plot using equations.", said Lucrecia. "All you have to remember is y m x b. . ."
"Are you sure she even knows algebra?", asked Laura.
"When proving a theorem every step must be justified by an axiom, a definition, or a previously proved theorem. Such as to define subtraction, the theorem is this, to prove this is true for all real numbers, a, b, and c.
c(a - b) c(a (- b)
ca c(-b)
ca (-cb)
ca - cb", said Christina. Rachel just stared.
"WHAT?! ARE YOU SPEAKING ENGLISH?!"
"She's very smart. . .", said Laura.
"Arigatou.", said Christina.
"Okay, NOW she's not speaking English.", said Lucrecia.
"Sugoi!" Christina was looking at Rachel's Titan bangle around her neck.
"Um, yes, that is mine. . .", said Rachel.
"And she STILL has my Crystal bangle. . .", said Laura.
"Before she says anything else, can you tell her to speak English?", asked Rachel.
"Christina, habla inglés.", said Lucrecia.
"Okay.", said Christina.
"SHE KNOWS SPANISH?!", asked Laura.
"Yeah. I know Spanish, Latin, Japanese, English, and the British colloquialism known as "Cockney", said Christina.
"Her speech is better. . .", said Rachel, gradually getting a mental overload. "My head hurts. . . Too much math. . ."
"She learns quickly.", said Lucrecia. "I'm surprised she has any bit of Cloud's DNA when it comes to that. . ."
"HEY! I HEARD THAT!", yelled Cloud, back in town.
"BUT THAT SIDE MUST BE FROM ME!", said Lucrecia. "She's like the perfect daughter. . ."
"Thank you.", said Christina. "That's very kind of you to say."
"SEE?!"
"Oh boy. . .", Laura sighed.
"So, you found a girl?", asked Aeris, sitting at Tifa's table with a cup of tea.
"Yeah.", said Tifa.
"And when do you think he is going to get over the shock?" Cloud's head was lying on the table, still unconscious.
"As soon as he can accept it.", said Tifa, opening the newspaper. "Hm?" Inside the paper, was a man who looked like Tseng, shaking the president's hand, but on his wrist, it had a tiny, "1" on it.
"I think we have a problem. . ."
AN3: Wow Cloud, you're a daddy.
Cloud: ::spaced out drooling::
Lucrecia: I don't think he's taking it too well. I HOWEVER LOVE MY DAUGHTER! ::hugs Christina::
Sephiroth: WAHAHAHHAAAAAA! HE'S A FATHER!
AN3: And YOU are gonna settle down with a WIFE. . .
Sephiroth: DAMMIT!
AN3: NOW! THE RESULTS OF THE SECOND ROUND! THE NUMBERS ARE. . . 10. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the numbers had to be 1-12, so the number are gonna be weird, because some are not what they picked. 10 is. . . Meagan.
Meagan- ::crossing fingers::
Konoshi- ::paying homage to any god that will listen::
AN3: 6. That is Konoshi. 7. That is Meagan. 1. Konoshi. Monotonous, isn't it? Okay. . . 5. MEAGAN! OH MY GOD! FATE IS TOYING WITH YOU PEOPLE! TWO MORE TRIES IF THIS CONTINUES! 11. Hmm. That's Meagan. That means that Surka wins. . .
Meagan: ::doing happy dance with Surka::
Konoshi: I DEMAND A RE-ROLL!
AN3: UHEH! Sorry, rules are rules. . .
Konoshi: ::charges with her halberd::
AN3: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! runs away like little school girl she is
Laura: Um, see you next time on Alternate Earth!
Sephiroth: I marry my protégé. Oh my god. . .
Rachel: And I do recall Meagan saying she only had a 1:7 chance, she didn't have enough luck to do this a second time, and many, many other negative words. I'm gonna try this. . .
Konoshi: BLLLLLAAAAAAAAARRRGH!
AN3: ::screaming::
Vincent: END THESE NOTES ALREADY!
Thank you.