Chapter Special: Into the Guardian

A/N: Ugh. Okay, there is some perspective switching during this epsiode, so PLEASE try not to get confused. It switches from the normal first-person to third-person POVs, so, keep up. Squaresoft owns FF7, LadyTifa26 owns Laura, and reviewers own all the rest.

Hi. This is me. Who is "me", you ask? I am his. . .

Surka was sitting in an alleyway, dark, and gloomy, as Sephiroth rested in the corner. A very pensive, yet angry look was on his face, even as he slept. She was forced to be guard. Or more like, it was fate. . . She turned around to look at his back, as he slept on the cold stone ground, and on her face, covered with some dirt, smiled, and then resumed looking angry about something. But she returned to her post.

His guard. That's right. I'm his guard. It's useless to ask why. It's rather hard to say. . .

Her mind flashed to a month ago. Feet moved across a floor, carpeted by miscellaneous items. The feet plopped down, on an unmade bed, and she sighed. Surka, was obviously, VERY depressed.

"AND DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO SNEAK OUT!", called her mom. She moved her hand away from the window above her she was trying to open, and she scowled.

"Wench. . .", she mumbled. Angry, she buried her face into her pillow, muttered a few more curses, and fell fast asleep. Her hand fell on a print out of something on the ground.

"Sara? SARA?!" Surka, or rather, Sara, was gone.

"Huh. . .?" She awoke, cold, and looked at herself. When did she get so many piercings? She had about four in her ear, three were studs, and the center one was a gold ring. And her clothes? AND A TATTOO?!

Finally, her mom would flip. But as if that was hard.

"What in hell. . .?" She was at the northern crater. She quickly stood up, and saw something. Boy, it was cold. It was covered with frost. She put a gloved hand on this glowing blue thing, and found she couldn't remove her hand. Damn. WAS IT FROZEN ON?!

Thank God it wasn't her tongue.

"Jesus. . . HOLY SHIT!" She found him. The man in crystal. "What freaky dream am I having? What have I been smoking? Oh. . .that. . . Wait no. That's not it." Glowing an awkward color, the chamber she was in began to shake. Roots on the ceiling moved back and forth uneasily, and the ground was shifting right under her. She tried to run, but her hand. . . It was still stuck. Well, that sure as hell isn't good. The rock cracked, and her hand was released. She scrambled to the back, but it was shut. No way in, no way out.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" An ungodly cry echoed throughout the cave.

"AAAHHHH! MOMMY!", yelled Sara. "OH SHIT! THE ONE TIME I KNOW YOU'D SCARE THIS THING OFF, IS THE TIME I'M GONNA DIE!" The light faded. The cry died to silence. A man was unconscious, and fell to his knees. "Hmph. An unconscious, naked man. In crystal. Did God answer my prayer?"

"Urgh. . ." The man had but one possession. The sword, held in his hand. "Who are you. . .?" His eyes had opened, and saw the blurry image of Sara, sitting on the ground.

"Uh. . .S-s. . ." She couldn't get over this.

"Thou hath released me. . .", he said. "What are you, that could break my bonds, and yet I could not?"

"Uh. . ."

"I thought. . .only a Cetra could release me. . ."

"UH. . .Dude?"

"Address me as. . . AWK!" He didn't have enough strength to get up. "The formal general."

"DUDE?!" She was WAY freaked out by now. "You might want pants. . ." She held her hand out to him, and took hold of his wrist. His body glowed with an unnatural green, that enveloped his body. "OKAY! I GET THE POINT! I'LL NEVER TOUCH ANYTHING AS LONG AS I LIVE!"

"Huh. . ." He was in his normal garb. "That was the work of the Lifestream . . . You. . ." He picked up the sword, and she was already against the wall. She began searching for an exit. None. "You can manipulate the Lifestream?"

"Look dude, I just got here.", she said. "AND WHAT THE HELL PLACE IS THIS?!"

"Welcome, to my private hell.", he said. "The northern crater."

"Damn, that sure sounds familiar. . .", she said. "Wait. . . Hot man in crystal, Lifestream, northern crater, Cetra. . . Is this Australia?"

"This world is called-

"THIS IS FF7!", she realized. "WOW! COOL! And I just happen to wake up to the baddie of them all. . . SEPHIROTH!"

"You have heard of me.", he said. "Did you live in a village I burned? Of so, drop dead. Or shall I assist you?" He picked up his sword, but he was still very weak.

"Take it easy. . .", she said. She was about to touch him again.

"GET AWAY!", he yelled. "I don't need any help. . ."

"In case you haven't noticed, you can barely stand. . .", she said. She took his arm, and helped him stand. She was amazed at the warmth of his body. "Damn dude, for a guy stuck in a rock, you're pretty warm."

"Shut up. . .", he said. "We must find a way out. Use your sword."

"Sword?"

"DON'T BE DAFT, WOMAN!", he shouted. The place shook again. "The one on your back." She reached back, and she grasped at something cold. As she pulled it, the icy ring of metal echoed throughout, and she saw her long sword, made of steel and gold, with a blue jewel in it. Sweetness.

"OOH! COOL!", she said. "So. . ." She took the sword, and nudged it a bit at the wall.

"Idiot. You won't get anywhere-AAAHHHHH!" She shoved it in farther, and the wall cracked, then fell.

"WOW!", she said. "NICE SWORD!"

"Wow, how long has it been. . .?", she asked, breaking out of her memory.

He named me Surka. In the Cetra tongue, it is meant to mean, "Guardian". I didn't like the name "Sara", anyway. He's always been stubborn, and all he's ever given me was a name. And somehow, I think that's enough. I've never seen him smile, except when it's at death, and because he is still weak, I must fight for him. I have to find the food, and the shelter, and he yells at me sometimes. I haven't had a bath in a week. I'm thirsty, I'm hungry, I'm cold, I'm. . .content. I. . . could learn to like this guy.

Or maybe, I already have.

"SURKA!", he shouted, waking up. "WHAT TIME IS IT?!"

"It's 4 AM.", she said. "What is the problem?"

He has this problem. Every night, he wakes up, because of one thing or another. It's this dream. I don't know what it is. He won't tell me. Or maybe his pride won't let him. It started about a week after I met him. He thinks I'm a Cetra or something. I'm no Cetra. I'm just lucky.

"We will start again.", said Sephiroth. "We have already killed Palmer. Heideggar is next."

"Gladly.", said Surka, standing up.

"SIT BACK DOWN!", he yelled. She quickly dropped to the ground again. "We aren't done resting."

"I. . .I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"You OBVIOUSLY didn't.", he said. "Keep watch."

He fell back to sleep. Stubborn. He's got the head of an ass, I swear it. He's been like this, always. He'll always be like this, too. When will the traveling be over? AND WHEN AM I GONNA GET SOME FRIGGIN' SLEEP?!

"And get some sleep, while you're at it.", he said. "You don't deserve it, but you'll be even MORE useless without it. If possible."

Don't get the wrong idea. He's really a sweet guy. If you got rid of the ego, the pride, the anger, and the insults, he'd be the perfect guy. That, and if he'd share the damn blanket. . . It's so cold. . .

"And here's the blanket." He threw her a blanket, catching her by surprise.

See? He's really sweet.

"SHUT THE HELL UP!"

"I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!"

He had already fallen asleep after his statement. Figures. I might as well get a good night's sleep, if only for an hour. Good night. . .

"Damn girl. . .", Sephiroth mumbled. "Useless, wretched. . .she'd be completely useless if she weren't a Cetra. . ."

Morning. It couldn'tve been brighter, even for such an early hour. He of course woke me up, yelling. Not out of the ordinary. I don't mind. I was always treated like this, even from my parents. They didn't give a damn. Nobody did. At least this way, I'm free. Freer than I used to be, at least.

"So, I suppose you are ready?", asked Sephiroth.

"Of course.", said Surka. She wiped off a bit of dirt off of her face with her white sleeve. Sephiroth scowled.

"Well then, we don't want to make any bad. . .impressions. . .", he said. "Go. Wash up."

"What about you? And where the hell am I going to wash up?!"

"Over there." He pointed to an empty beach cabana, above a bar of singing drunks. Apparently they were in Costa Del Sol. "It's very much empty. They don't come in winter."

See? SEE?! Okay, so he still seems like a jerk. At least he's cute, right?

"Argh. . .", grumbled Sephiroth, sitting on the couch, listening to the sounds of Surka taking a bath. She was obviously singing in the shower, something by some rock band, and screwing up on the lyrics. Something about ramen soup? His eyes shifted to examine the room, and keep entertained. The TV held no amusement for him; watching tiny dots of light refused to captivate him. He tired of books after reading an entire library, and there seemed to be no point. He hated discussion. He looked at the ground near the TV, and found something. He had a sadistic grin.

"Ahhh. . ." Surka finally emerged from her shower. She walked out in a towel, as her clothes were being washed, and she was drying her hair, when she saw him on the couch.

"AHAHAAAAAA! DIE CLOUD!" Hoo boy. He got a hold of Rachel's FF7 disc. On the PS2. . .

"Sephiroth, what are you doing?" He turned around, and saw her glaring at him. In a fuzzy bath towel. Hmph.

"EHEH!", he said, dropping the controller.

"Are you trying to RUN HIM OFF A CLIFF?! Dude, you can't do that."

"The REAL Cloud cannot deny gravity."

"That's not the real Cloud.", she said, sitting down.

"Are you really going to lounge about in a TOWEL?!"

"Why not?"

"It's obscene. . .", he grumbled.

"Well, my clothes are in the wash. Deal with it."

"Uh. . .", he was growing red as he stared.

"What are you looking at?", she asked, becoming nervous under his gaze.

"NOTHING!", he said, moving his scarlet face away.

Well, it seems he never dealed with girls before. I wonder why he tolerated me for so long then. If he wished to kill me, he would've done it sooner. Like right then and there, when he asked for my name. . .I wonder. . .

I wonder if he knows what day it is.

"When the hell are you going to be ready, woman?", he asked, irritated. He lost for the third time in Tekken 4. And in Soul Caliber 2.

"When I beat you for the fifth time.", said Surka.

"This is boring."

"Because you're losing!"

"I AM NOT!"

"THEN WHY DOES IT SAY 'DEFEATED', WHENEVER I KICK YOUR SORRY ASS?!"

"YOU DON'T TAKE THAT TONE WITH ME!"

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU, MY PARENTS?!"

I stormed to the room. The nerve of that guy. I protect him, and he has the right to counsel my judgment? I mean, I normally listen to him, but that's because I'm his guardian. It's my job to look out for him. If I don't. . .

"I see. . ." Rufus Shinra was looking off to the window again. "You guard him, then? Make sure it stays that way. He is too valuable to lose, and I won't make the same damn mistakes as my father. Guard him, or you will be, in a cell."

I shudder at the thought. I won't be crammed in a cell. It's not my style, let's just say. When are my clothes going to be ready? I DO like staying in this towel, and it's much more fun to watch him turn red from looking at me, not from anger after me, beating the crap out of him in a videogame. And why is this cabana so familiar?

"Here are your damn clothes." He opened the door and threw them at me. I caught them, surprised. Didn't he know how to hand things to people? "Use them." After he shut the door, I sorted through this stuff. Yeah, everything, down to my Iron Bangle was there. I was brushing my black hair until he walked in again. "Hurry.", he uttered, angrily again, with a certain blackness to it. What's his problem? Does he have a chocobo shoved up his a-

"DAMMIT WOMAN, HURRY UP!", he shouted from outside the door.

Yeah, I figured he did.

"Tell me, when are you-

"YEEEEEEEEEEEEK!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"GET OUT! OUT!"

Whoops. I guess we hide no secrets now. . . Not at least for me. . .

"PERVERT!" Surka stomped out of her room, red of either embarrassment, or anger. Sephiroth was curled up on the couch, stunned, muttering gibberish under his breath. "WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR PROBLEM, HUH?!" He was still muttering. "ACKNOWLEDGE ME, DAMMIT!" He gave he a small amount of attention, and spoke.

"The last time I did, and I saw a naked girl."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!", yelled Surka. "HAVEN'T YOU HEARD OF KNOCKING?!"

"Haven't you heard of a door lock?"

"THE LOCK IS BROKEN!"

"Then put up a sign. . .", he said. He curled up in his leather cloak again. "Excuse me while I curl up and die now. . ."

"OH COME ON!", she yelled. "IT WASN'T THAT BAD, WAS IT?!"

"On quite the contrary, it was rather nice, you have a cute butt and-

"YOU PERVERT!", she yelled again. "IT WAS NOT NICE!"

"What, do you want me to call an angry girl, ugly? I don't have a death wish.", he said.

"OOH. . ." She was seething. "IF I ONLY HAD MY SWORD. . ."

That bastard! That friggin' bastard! What the hell was his deal? Couldn't he knock?! HAS HE EVER HEARD OF COMMON DECENCY?! And it was even my. . .

"Look. . ." After Surka had shut herself in her room again, he came knocking.

"Now you learn how to knock?", she asked, from inside the room.

"Let me in."

"There's nothing stopping you."

"There wouldn't be anything to stop me, even if there was a working lock." He opened the door, not looking apologetic in the least. "I'm sorry."

"Are you really?", she asked. "Sephiroth never says he's sorry."

"Okay, so what?" I guess he really didn't mean it then. "What will get your ass out of here, so we can kill that fat donkey?", he asked.

"I want you, to give me more respect."

"You already get more respect than you deserve, because you're a girl."

"SO IT'S MY GENDER THEN?!", Surka was shouting. "THIS CREDIT AND RESPECT IS FOR MY GENDER?! THEN WHAT DO YOU TREAT GUYS LIKE, IF I'M ALREADY LIKE SOMETHING YOU SCRAPE OFF YOUR SHOE?!"

Guys are totally weird. They'll treat girls like crap, and then say they like them. When it's like that, they're just BS-ing. They just don't want to get beaten up by a girl. At least, that's what I think.

"You're not something I scraped off my shoe.", he said.

"Too big then, huh?", she asked.

"No.", he said, softly, yet sternly. "I am thankful, that you had-

"Sephiroth isn't thankful either."

"I AM THANKFUL. . .", he continued, despite her contradictions. "that you had saved me. I wouldn't have survived otherwise. Now, can we leave?"

He didn't realize a single thing. He didn't care, I suppose. I can't blame him. He hated me. He still hates me. He will always hate me. And although I hate him now too, I know I will love him again. He is still, really sweet. He is still, my Sephiroth.

We leave.

"Are you done crying now?" It was dark. I had left, and he had told me where Heideggar was. He was here, in Costa Del Sol, undoubtedly on the tab of Shinra. It was my job, that this would never happen. Not ever again.

"Hey Heideggar, remember me?", asked Sephiroth, stepping out of the blackness.

"You. . .you don't exist! I'm seeing things! YES! YES, THAT IS IT!" He was obviously blabbering again. I took a step forward. We were really a good team, though. He, the master, and I, the protégé. But of course, in that relationship, there is no relationship. Just business.

"Shall we end these delusions for you, Heideggar?", I asked. Drawing my sword, he was drawing deep breath. The only type of way you breathe when you see death in its face. I was that cause. I was that death.

And he just happened to meet it.

"Nice.", said Sephiroth, as the cops were coming. We knew. They always come, and we always leave, fifteen minutes before they arrive. We just stick around somewhere else to watch. "I thought I would be the one to do it, as usual, though."

"You are not well, still.", I said. "I am your guardian, nothing more, so I shall fulfill that task, until you need me no more. But I want to ask you. . . What will happen when I am of no use anymore?" He didn't seem to have an answer, or an expression to return. He merely stayed indifferent. "Will you discard me?"

"You. . .have uses.", he said. "Even when you cannot be of your guardian purpose, I will find a way. That is, if that is what you wish."

Of course I wished that. I had nowhere to go, anyway. I jumped out of the window, onto another house, and he followed me. I wish I could lead him like this forever. But what the hell was I thinking? Nothing lasts. And I'll be damned when anything does.

"I do wish that. Do you remember. . .?"

"What?"

"Never mind.", I said. "It's not pertinent to the task at hand."

"Do me a favor.", he said. "Speak like you normally do."

"THANK GOD!", I shouted. "I WAS GETTING SICK OF FORMALITIES! Although, it does make me sound threatening." He smiled.

That was it. Today was complete.

"Better.", he said. "It suits you more."

Back at the cabana. I liked it here more than on the street. Of course, who wouldn't? I was sitting in front of the door actually, as he sat inside. I was the guard, and he is what I protected.

In short, sitting out here sucked ass.

"Hmph. What's with you?" He opened the door, and gave me a solemn look.

"That's what I was about to ask.", I said. "Tell me, what is today?"

"Today. . . is Friday.", he said. "Why? Do you need a calendar?"

"Forget it. . .", I sighed. He wouldn't get the point, and he'd never get the point. But that was sort of cute.

"Get some rest, in few hours. Make sure no cop comes asking questions.", he said. he turned a cold shoulder toward me, and before he closed the door, I heard him say, one last thing, that finally made this day good. "Happy birthday."

Meh. Good enough for me.

Surka: . . . WHAT THE HELL?!

AN3: Sorry. . .I took a more serious approach.

Sephiroth: See that it never happens again ::puts masamune to throat::

AN3: GOTCHA! ::sweats::

Rachel: Hmm. . . Why was this written a lot like your original fic? Except in first person perspective?

AN3: I dunno, I was probably desperate.

Tifa: This is you desperate? Well, I guess that figures. . .

AN3: HEY! I WROTE THIS IN 2 HOURS!

Surka: opens a six-pack That figures, too. BEER IS ON THE HOUSE!

Everyone: YAAAAAAAAAY!

AN3: SEE YA' NEXT TIME ON ALTERNATE EARTH! HIC JA NE!