Chase walked into his house tired from the long emotionally painful week. He could still smell her especially in the bedroom. He walked inside the room and saw her clothes hanging in the closet, a picture of them on the nightstand along with a picture with her with her mother and father. He had bothered her about getting rid of it or at least moving it somewhere else because he always felt like Jack was starring at him from the picture threatening to kill him every time he touched Kim. He turned the pictures over not able to look at them as they brought him even more pain. He had not had time to mourn her lost yet. He had missed her, but he was so busy with Jack, work, and worrying about Angela that he hadn't been able to handle his own thoughts a feeling so he just blocked them out. He wondered if this is what Jack had done after he lost Teri. Chase thought it had to be worse because Jack had no one to fall back on to help him, he had to deal with his own guilt and pain with no one to help him. Chase had most of CTU, his sister, and even Jack in a sad way to help him through. Jack had no one at the time, Kim left shortly afterwards and she had spoken about all the times she had found her father staring at the wall, or at his wrist.
Chase collapsed on the bed smelling her stronger now. God he couldn't sleep like this, but he didn't want to wash the blankets he didn't want to lose her yet. He got up and walked out to the living room. He didn't have any alcohol in the house he had kept a few beers around, but he didn't have any now, and it was to late to go buy some places had long since stopped selling alcohol. He sat on the couch with his head in his hands, Kim's voice going through his mind, her face smiling at him, trying to comfort him, but she wasn't there and she never would be there again. He would never get to see her, or tell her how much he loved her. It broke his heart even more when he thought to himself, maybe Jack shouldn't wake up because it will kill him when he finds out Kim' gone. Kim was all he had left, or all jack figured he had left. Family wise it was all he had left, but Chase had tried to be there for Jack he had wanted to help his mentor out. Chase's eyes were getting heavier as the hours passed and finally around four in the morning the drooped closed only to be opened a few hours later when his cell phone rang.
Chase jumped off the couch expecting it to be the hospital, Jack was gone. "Edmunds." Chases voice holding the note of exhaustion he still felt.
"Daddy are you ok?" Angela came over the phone she had a nightmare that he was like Jack and wanted to call him, had been insistent on calling him.
"Yeah baby. I just stayed at home tonight."
"Can we go see Jack today? It's Saturday and you promised you'd take me to see him this weekend."
"Yeah ok." It was Saturday all ready, where did the time go by Chase thought to himself.
"I colored some pictures for him room, and Aunt Amanda is going to take me to get some new flowers for the room since the old ones are starting to die."
"Great honey. Is your aunt there?"
Angela handed Amanda the phone and she said, "How are you?"
"I'm fine. I'll be around in a few hours to pick her up. I'm sorry if she woke you up."
"it's fine she was just worried about you. But I promised her a toy and some stuff so I better got take her shopping." Amanda said goodbye and left Chase to himself again.
Chase lay back down for a few hours tossing and turning unable to sleep. He got up and went into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror he could see the dark circles under his eyes that made it look like he had two black eyes. God he was tired but he couldn't sleep. He needed to shave badly too. He got into the shower letting the warm water try and calm his tired body. He got out and shaved quickly dressing he was in a rush to get moving, he had to stop thinking it was tearing him apart. He ran out to his car, running from the thoughts the house brought up, he called his sister, "Is Angela almost ready?"
"Yeah we are back at the house now. She got you something." Amanda said smiling she knew he'd like it even if it had come from someone other than Angela.
"I'll be there in a few minutes." When Chase pulled up to the house he saw Angela looking out the window smiling, Chase put on his happy face and walked up to the door which opened as soon as he was in front of it.
"Daddy." Angela said grabbing his legs and hugging them.
"Hey kiddo." Chase said bending down to pick her up.
"I got you somethin daddy."
"Did you." Chase said walking inside.
"Put me down so I can get it." She said smiling still ear to ear.
Chase set her down and watched her run down the hallway to grab his gift. She returned with a box and handed it to him. He opened it and saw a new watch inside. He looked at his sister and couldn't believe it.
"Read it daddy." Angela said trying to get him to look on the back of it.
Chase pulled the watch out and looked at the back of it. He read it, For the best dad in the world. Chase felt a tear in his eye and he smiled, "Thank you very much." He picked Angela and hugged her. He looked at his sister holding back tears, "You shouldn't have."
"Chase just shut up and take the gift." His sister said smiling at him. "Now go see Jack cuz this little woman has been talking my ears off about him."
"Thank you." Chase said lowering Angela. "Get your stuff honey."
Angela ran back to the room and emerged this time with a big bag.
"What's in there?" Chase said.
"Stuff." Angela said laughing. "It's a secret." She smiled at Amanda who just shook her head at Chase. "Let's go daddy. He's probably lonely."
"Yes ma'am." Chase said mach saluting her. She was quiet on the ride to the hospital and when they got there she was almost to hyper Chase thought about not taking her in. When they walked through Brenda was there again and smiled at Angela, "Hello Angela."
"Hi. How's he doing?" Angela said all adult like.
"He's doing good. What's that?" Brenda said noticing the bag she was dragging.
"Some stuff." Angela giggled again.
Angela walked into Jack's room and saw a woman standing over him. "Who are you?" Angela said looking up at her almost with a glare worried she was hurting Jack.
"I'm a doctor. Who are you?" The woman smiled at her.
"I'm Angela."
Chase walked into the room when he heard Angela talking to someone. The woman smiled and held out her hand, "Hi you must be Chase I've heard about."
"Yeah." Chase said shaking her hand slightly confused. "What happened to the other doctor?"
"He's still his doctor. Once Jack wakes up I'm going to be his physical therapist help him get back up and moving again. I just came in to check on his progress." She said smiling at Chase.
"Oh." Chase said a little embarrassed.
"Well I leave you to visit. It was nice meeting you Angela." The woman left the room looking back once at Jack who still lay in the bed.
Chase pulled out his briefcase he had been carrying and pulled out the laptop and started working while he listened to Angela talk to Jack about everything she had done. He watched her pull some of the contents of the bag. A few pictures she had colored, a few coloring books, some crayons, and than a small box.
"What's that baby?"
"What?" She said trying to look innocent at her father.
"What's in the box Angela?"
"A gift for Jack when he wakes up." Angela said looking at Jack, "If the sleepy head wakes up he can have his gift. Aunt Amanda and I thought he might need something to wake up for, and what better than a gift."
"Remind me to talk to Aunt Amanda later."
"Ok daddy. Can you hang the pictures up for him." Angela said holding up the two colorings she had. One of the U.S. flag that had been poorly colored, but what could he expect from a two year old, Chase moved her out of the way and reached over the bed hanging the picture up above Jack's head. "How's that?"
"Good daddy. Now go back to work." She was laughing again.
Chase smiled and went back to work. After a few hours of work he set the laptop down and rested his head against the wall tired. He fell off into a sleep and Angela giggled as she saw him fall asleep. She kept quiet for awhile.
She was coloring when she looked up and saw tears coming out of Jack's closed eyes. She climbed up on the chair and than worked the guts up to climb onto the bed. She made sure not to touch any part of him that had the white wraps around it, like her father had warned earlier. She tried not to touch him at all. She kneeled on the bed next to his arm and wiped the tears away, "Don't cry Jack everything's going to be fine. Kim is looking after us now." Angela sat there for awhile just wiping the tears out of his eyes trying to reassure him everything was fine. Finally she curled up putting her head lightly on his arm and falling asleep as it was way past her nap time.
Chase woke up with a jolt he hadn't heard Angela and started to worry when he looked over in the chair she had been in and she wasn't there. He looked at Jack and saw her sleeping next to him.
Chase for a second panicked thinking she might be hurting him when Brenda was in the doorway and said, "Don't worry she's not hurting him. S he's clear of all his injuries." She could tell by his face what he was thinking. "Cute isn't it."
"Yeah" Chase said smiling wondering what had got her to climb onto the bed.
"He must have been crying or something, not completely unusual and a good sign he might be coming around soon. She was in here telling him everything was ok." Brenda stood in the doorway amazed by the child's innocents wishing she could go back to that time, Chase was wishing with her. Everything was always simple when you were a child, there were no responsibilities you had to worry about and everything was pure.
Chase almost jumped when he looked back up to see Jack's eyes open. Jack was studying the room his vision blurred, he could barely see anything and his chest hurt, he moved his eyes down, not even contemplating lifting his head, if he was this dizzy lying down he didn't want to chance lifting his head up. He saw a little girl curled up lying on his arm. He tried to figure out who it was, it wasn't Kim, Kim was to old. But before he could figure it out he fell back asleep.
"Did you see that?" Chase said excited.
"Yeah." Brenda said smiling. "I'll let the doctor know. He'll probably be in and out of consciousness for awhile, and probably confused." She said smiling still almost ear to ear she was so happy for Jack and Chase who had been there faithfully every day.
Chase yawned and stretched a new energy about him. He sat there for an hour waiting to see Jack open his eyes again. He almost jumped when Angela woke up. She looked at her dad scared at first as she noticed she was still on the bed with Jack, scared he'd be mad at her.
"Hey baby." Chase said smiling. Angela climbed off the bed and moved over to her father, "daddy I'm hungry."
"Ok babie." Chase said not wanting to leave Jack incase he woke again, but than he had to deal with his daughters basic needs. Chase stood up and was trying to find a solution when Brenda walked in the room with a McDonalds bag.
"You guys have been here all day I decided to grab someone a happy meal when I went to lunch." Brenda said handing Chase the happy meal.
Angela giggled at the joke, "What did you get me?"
"Oh you yeah." Brenda yanked the happy meal out of Chases hands and handed Angela the happy meal. "I hope you like chicken nuggets."
Angela smiled, "I love them. Thank you." Angela grabbed the bag and moved over to the chair. She ate them watching Jack who was asleep still.
"Thank you." Chase said when she handed him a bag with a sandwich in it. "How much do I owe you?"
"Nothing. It's for making my shifts so interesting." Brenda said standing next to Chase.
Chase stood up and said, "Take a seat ma'am. It is your break after all."
"Where are you going to sit?" Brenda said looking around the room without any more chairs.
Chase walked over and lifted Angela onto the foot of the bed. She giggled and almost spilled her drink on Jack. Chase took her chair and ate his food starving. Angela was looking at Jack when she screeched, "He's awake again daddy."
Chase looked over at Jack who's eyes were open again. "Hey Jack." Chase said smiling at him.
Brenda walked over and leaned over him, "How do you feel Jack?"
Jack tried to speak, but his throat was to dry and he was still so tired why was he so tired, and he felt a slight pain in his chest. He fought to keep his eyes open longer than the last time, he saw the little girl again this time she towered over him looking down smiling at him. His foggy mind thought about who she was and finally it clicked it was Chase's little girl. Jack looked around the room he didn't see Kim. Where was Kim? Why was he there again? IN an extremely weak voice that only Angela heard he asked, "Where is Kim?"
"What was that Jack?" Chase said not hearing him.
Angela answered Chase, "He asked where Kim was. Why doesn't he know she's with God and the Angels?"
Chase saw the pain on Jack's face instantly understanding what Angela meant. Chase almost broke down as he saw Jack start to cry. Jack tried to sit up and was getting ready to rip the IV out of his arm. Chase grabbed Angela off the bed and quickly pushed Jack down before he hurt himself. Chase made sure to steer clear of the gunshot wounds.
Jack thrashed weakly in the bed trying to get free of Chase ignoring the pain he was causing himself. Brenda ran out of the room to grab a doctor and some sedative. The doctor walked back into the room and saw Jack's emotional state and asked, "Can you keep him still?"
"Yeah." Chase said holding Jack down with a little more force. The doctor inserted the needle into Jack's IV and pushed the sedative in. Chase held Jack down until the sedative kicked in and Jack relaxed tears streaming out of his face still. "I'm sorry Jack." Chase said looking away in shame it was his fault. "I'm so sorry."
Angela sat in the corner scared not understanding what was going on. Chase heard her crying and he turned around, "Oh come here baby."
Angela walked over to him crying almost as hard as Jack had been, "Why doesn't he like me daddy?"
"Oh baby he does. He was just upset about Kim. He misses her."
"So do I daddy."
"So do I baby. So do I." Chase looked down at Jack who had drifted off to sleep again.
Amanda came by the hospital a few hours later just to check up on them when she walked in the room Angela was asleep in Chases arms and she could see Chase was fighting to stay awake to watch Jack. She walked in the room and said, "You want me to take her again?"
"If you would please." Chase said.
"When are you going to start being her father again?" Amanda said not really annoyed but worried for her brother.
"What do you mean? When did I stop being her father?"
"Chase you've spent every waking hour either here, or at work for the past two weeks."
"It's going to change soon. Jack woke up today. He just found out about Kim too. I want to be here when he wakes up again to answer any questions he might have." Chase said trying to contain his anger. "I'll keep her don't worry about it." He said almost childishly.
"Chase don't act like this."
"NO it's fine I'll be her father. She can stay here with me tonight."
"Where is she going to sleep Chase?" Amanda said controlling her anger.
"She slept in the bed with Jack earlier why not again." Chase said knowing he wouldn't let her, but he could find a place for her.
"Whatever Chase." Amanda said walking out angry.
Chase put Angela down gently on the chair pulling the other over so he set up a small bed for her. He leaned against the doorframe and watched Angela and Jack both sleep.
He felt a hand gently touch his back and he thought of Kim and how she use to touch him. He turned around to see Brenda standing there. "You look tired you should get some sleep."
"I don't want to leave him if he wakes up again."
"He'll probably be out the rest of the night." Brenda said, "So why don't you take Angela home and get some real rest for once. You can't help him if you are sick when he wakes up."
"I'm fine. I can't leave him. It's all my fault." Chase said almost in tears.
"No it's not Chase. I don't know what happened, but bad things happen and no one is to blame for them. They just happen. If you don't want to go home the room next door is open why don't you get some rest. I'll watch him and her."
"Don't you have to work?"
"I'm off for the day now." She said she had worked overtime the past few weeks because of the patient or more like the patients visitor who she clearly could see needed help. "Come on." She said pulling on his arm. "I'll watch them. Come on."
Chase gave in letting her pull him into the other room. She grabbed a blanket out of the closet and covered him up. Once he hit the bed he was out. She took his shoes off for him and turned the light off closing the door as she walked out. The doctor noticed this and smiled, "Finally got him to rest."
"yeah. Sorry he wouldn't leave so I just put him in the other room." She said hoping she wouldn't' get in trouble as that was not normal procedure.
"That's ok. At least he's resting. I've never seen someone so loyal to a non family member. How are you holding up? You seem to be getting attached." The doctor said trying to not make her mad by the question.
"I know I am." She said looking inside the room.
"Just don't let yourself get hurt Brenda. You are really good at what you do."
"Thank you sir."
"I better continue my rounds. Beep me if he wakes up again."
"Yes sir." Brenda walked into the room and leaned against the wall. She looked down and saw Angela shaking slightly. She grabbed a blanket from the main desk and covered her up gently pushing the hair out of her eyes. Brenda walked over and stood over Jack studying him. She pulled back the bandages and looked to see if they were healing well.
She placed the bandages back and leaned against the wall tired herself, but she promised she'd look after them.
When the doctor came to make his rounds he saw Brenda sitting on the floor next to where Angela was sleeping sound asleep herself. He smiled and closed the door gently. He looked in on Chase who was still asleep and than went on with his work.
Chase awoke the next morning in the other room. He got up fixing his clothes and putting his shoes on. He walked into Jack's room to find the room empty all besides Jack who was asleep still. He felt his blood run cold until he heard Angela down the hall. He poked his head out to find her talking to an old woman with Brenda. Brenda smiled at him as he approached.
"Good morning ladies." Chase said smiling at them. The old woman looked up at him and winked at Brenda, who immediately turned bright red. Angela said, "Mrs. Muller was telling me about when she was a child. She got to wear this really pretty dress and everything. Daddy can I get a pretty dress?"
"Sure baby." Chase said smiling at Brenda. "Thanks for looking after her."
"Oh nonsense she's a little angel." Mrs. Muller chirped in. "Why don't you two go get some coffee and bring back the little one some food I can watch her until Herald gets back from his test."
"Oh no I couldn't ask you to ma'am." Chase said.
The doctor from the night shift came in and said, "You two go get some coffee you both have been working your butt off. Me and Mrs. Muller will watch Angela here, and" Before he could finish Chase heard a pained groan coming from Jack's room. Everyone rushed over to find Jack pushing himself to a sitting position.
"Jack what are you doing." Chase said rushing over, but being gently pushed away by Brenda and the doctor.
"Mr. Bauer please lay back down before you hurt yourself." The doctor said gently pushing on Jack's shoulder.
Jack laid back down exhausted and in enormous amount of pain. "What happened?" Jack said looking at Chase his eyes full of pain. "How did she" His voice was weak and cracked but Chase could understand. He looked at Brenda and the Doctor who decided to leave the room to let them talk. Brenda said, "Angela and I will be in the cafeteria."
"Thanks." Chase said looking at her breaking from Jack's gaze. Chase pulled a chair over and sat down.
"Please tell me she's not really."
"She is. I'm sorry jack. I tried to find you and her. Saunders he killed her and Michelle. Shot Tony, but Tony escaped custody."
A primal scream came out of Jack as he felt the tears flood again. Why was he still alive, he had nothing to live for.
"I'm so sorry Jack." Chase said looking away his own tears threatening to come out but he had to be there for Jack. "I'll get them I swear I'll track them down and kill every last one of them."
Jack didn't speak again for awhile. When Brenda returned with Angela she asked Jack a few questions and got simple yes or no answers. Angela smiled at him and climbed up to the bed sitting next to him trying to cheer him up. "Look I colored this for you Jack." She said showing him the many pictures she colored, but Jack could care less as he felt his heart shattering still. He tried to pay attention, but it was hard. Angela noticed the indifference and was hurt by it. She remembered the present and she grabbed it off the night stand next to the bed, "We got you this it's only a picture of what we got you because Aunt Amanda said you wouldn't need it for awhile."
She handed the box to Jack and he opened it. Inside was a picture of a walking cane and it was a beautiful redwood color. "Thank you." He said looking up to Angela with tears in his eyes.
"Don't cry Jack. Everything's going to be fine. I know you miss Kim, but she wouldn't want you to cry. That's what Aunt Amanda said. She said Kim wouldn't want us to cry she'd want us to look out after each other and help each other remember the good times with her. She's looking down on us all now. She's with God and the Angels she's probably an Angel herself. So don't cry Jack." Angela wiped the tears out of his eyes and kissed him on the cheek.
Jack felt like crying more but he held them back for Angela. He wanted to sit up so bad right now, but every time he tried his chest hurt and the doctors yelled at him. He saw the nurse in the door way and asked in a weak voice, "is there anyway we can move the bed up?"
"Sure." She said walking over grabbing the remote and pushing it so the bed raised some.
"Thanks." He said not making eye contact with her he wanted to cry right now, but Angela was there and he had to hold it back. Kim was gone, he would never see her again, it was his fault, all these thoughts ran over and over in his head each time threatening to break the loose grip he had left on himself. What would he do now? Kim was gone he had no one left? Nothing was left for him here, why did he live? Maybe he could die now he had nothing left to do.
Chase looked at Brenda and asked, "Could you take Angela out of the room for a little bit. I need to talk to Jack on his own." Chase wanted to talk to Jack, but the information he was ready to talk about would be something Angela did not need to hear.
"Sure. We'll go get some food for Jack. I'm sure he's hungry and the doctor gave the go ahead on some solid food." She smiled. Angela ran over and grabbed her hand following her down to the cafeteria.
Chase could see the pain in Jack's eyes, "I'm sorry I didn't want you to find out that way." Chase said quietly.
"Does it matter how I found out?" Jack croaked his voice still very weak as his body was still very weak.
"I'm so sorry. I failed you Jack and I'm sorry. I failed everyone." Chase slumped into the chair next to Jack's bed. "I tried I really tried."
Jack felt his own pain at the same time he could see himself in Chase. Chase was the same way he had been after he lost Teri, maybe not as bad, but Chase wasn't as selfish as he was Jack thought to himself. Chase was holding it together for everyone, Jack could see that and it was hard to do, even Jack couldn't do it. He would do it now though, he had failed Kim, he wouldn't fail again. He would mourn in private, "What happened?" Jack needed to know that much.
"I'm not sure exactly what. I found you in the warehouse. Kim and the others were already gone." Chase paused at the memory of how he found Jack. He had to squeeze his eyes shut to block out all the blood that pooled around Jack. "I was on my way to where we had traced Kim and the others."
Jack interrupted he was devoid of emotion even his eyes, which sent a cold chill down Chase's spine, "How did you track them?"
"Michelle was wearing a tracking device when she came back to get Kim and whatever else Saunders wanted she grabbed a tracking device she didn't tell anyone till she was out of the building and well on her way. We didn't know she took Kim till than." Chase looked down ashamed he had failed so badly, and it had cost him and Jack so much. He felt the tears in his eyes and scratched at them to wipe the tears away without letting Jack know they were there. "Like I said I was on my way to track them when Chloe called. They had found them, and were rushing them to the hospital. Michelle died on the way there, Tony was injured but alive, and Kim was badly injured. She lived for a few hours after the surgery, but she just couldn't withstand all the damage." Chase couldn't hold the tears back as he looked at Jack and saw nothing in Jack's face still.
Jack was struggling so much that he wasn't listening to Chase the entire time, to busy hiding what he felt, he had to be strong. "What did he do to her?" Jack said his voice cold, some emotion of hatred behind it.
"Jack you don't need to know." Chase protested.
"Tell me!" Jack said glaring at Chase moving to make a point only sending pain through his body.
"He shot her in the head." Chase said looking Jack in the eyes, he saw the pain rush through them and he started to let the tears fall freely from his own face as Jack had stopped holding his own back, "I'm sorry Jack. I failed her and you."
"No it's not your fault Chase." Jack said angry at himself it was all his fault. Everything went back to the one damn stupid mission. Everything went back to Kosovo. "It's not your fault there was nothing you could have done Chase." Jack knew what it felt like to live with the guilt and he wouldn't let Chase do it. "Where is Tony now?" Trying to change the subject wincing as he moved his hand to clear the tears away.
"He escaped." Chase said looking down that had been his fault too.
They were interrupted when they heard Brenda and Angela coming back. Angela talking Brenda's ear off about some TV show she was missing. Angela walked into the room carrying a trey with her. Brenda moved the small table that slid over the bed over and Chase grabbed the trey from Angela setting it on the table for Jack. Brenda moved the bed up a little more, slowly as to not hurt Jack so he could eat. Angela climbed into her fathers lap and smiled, "I picked it all out for you."
Jack smiled applesauce, jell-o and pudding. Brenda explained, "The doctor doesn't want you on hard solid food yet, and I didn't think you'd enjoy a hamburger milkshake."
"EWWWW!!!" Angela said giggling in Chase's lap.
Jack smiled at her, "These are all great choices." He took the spoon in his hand that shook slightly. He slowly ate every movement causing a twinge of pain that he blocked out from his expressions. When he finished Brenda returned to take the trey. Angela giggled as she saw her father was asleep she smiled at Jack and said, "Can we watch TV?"
Jack looked around to find the remote and when he did he told her, "Go ahead." She ran over and grabbed the remote. She turned the TV on and flipped through the channels until she came up to a cartoon. She giggled it was the smurfs and she climbed back up on Chase who was sound asleep and watched it. Jack ignored the cartoon as it had brought back memories of Kim, so did Angela. Kim may not have been her biological mother, but Angela had the same way about her as Kim had.
He watched her until he felt his own exhaustion take over. He continued to watch her giggling at the cartoon thinking of Kim as his eyes slowly closed. Angela giggled when she saw he was asleep again, but she was also scared, would he not wake up like earlier? She climbed onto the bed and touched his face she saw him flinch slightly and felt sure he would wake up soon. She lay down again next to him and watched her cartoons listening to him slowly breath. She was interested suddenly in what was under the bandages. She looked around making sure no one was looking, she knew what she was doing was probably wrong, but curiosity won out. She pulled back on the bandage gently. She looked around before pulling them off more no one was around and her father and jack were both soundly asleep. She looked under them and skewed her face at the sight of all the holes. She quickly placed it back down, but not before Brenda cleared her throat.
Brenda whispered as to not wake the two men, "What are you doing?"
"I'm sorry I just wanted to know what was under the bandages. What are they?" Angela said trying to play innocent. "Did I hurt him?"
"no you can't hurt him by doing that." Brenda said giving in to Angela's innocent look. "Jack was hurt by someone and those are bullet holes."
"I don't understand?" Angela said confused.
"Someone shot Jack with a gun."
"And he got that many holes in him?"
"They shot him a few times."
"Is he going to be ok? Are those holes going to be there the rest of his life?"
"He's going to be fine." Brenda smiled, "And no the holes will heal over and leave a scare."
"Like the one daddy has on his hand?"
Brenda hand never noticed any scares on Chase's hands, but she had never really studied his hands. "I'm not sure." Brenda said walking over looking at Jack who was sound asleep.
"He is going to wake up right? Not like last time."
"Yes. He's just tired he is still healing." Brenda answered her questions patiently. "You want to help me I need to clean the wounds out for him."
"I don't know they are kind of grouse." Angela said seriously.
"Ok than get down so I can do it." Brenda said getting ready to grab her off the bed.
"Can I watch?"
"Sure." Brenda smiled she found Angela to be very intelligent and attentive for someone her age and did not want to put a damper on her curiousty. Angela watched as Brenda pulled the bandages off and walked into the bathroom to get a basin of warm water to add to the disenfectent she had on the night stand.
Jack woke when he felt the water on his chest. It took him a second to come around but when he did he flinched as he felt the warm water hit the wounds. He growled when Brenda started to wipe the blood away.
"You are hurting him." Angela said looking at Brenda.
Jack heard her and wanted to scream as he wanted to be able to cry, but he couldn't' with her around and now he couldn't even react to the pain of whatever the nurse was doing. "No I'm fine Angela." Jack said in a hoarse voice making Angela jump on the bed and Jack reacted by groaning louder as his battered body reacted to the sudden movement of the bed and Angela's hands grasping his arm tightly. She almost cried when she saw him like that and he smiled at her through the pain and said, "It's fine."
Brenda smiled she knew it was far from fine, and she was so taken by how he treated Angela even when she knew he had to be dying inside because of his daughter. She looked at him and respected him more than she had any other patient. She finished up saying, "This is going to sting now."
Angela watched her as she poured the disinfectant on his chest and Jack closed his eyes to hold the pain in. Brenda rebandaged the wounds and said, "Your physical therapist will be by tomorrow morning."
"When will I be able to take an actual shower?"
"If all goes well tomorrow." Brenda said smiling at him.
Chase woke up and looked around the room wondering how long he had been out he saw Angela on the bed with Jack again, he was shocked by how much she had taken to Jack. The first time she meant him she was terrfied of him, at least the first time she was old enough to know who he was. Chase smiled and grabbed her off the bed she giggled and he said, "Have you been talking Jack's ear off?"
"No he's been sleeping like you daddy. You two sleep too much."
Chase checked his watch, Brenda noticed the scare on his hand a bullet wound and than she noticed a thinner scar that barely showed under the watch, "Speaking of which it is past your bed time. We better get home and let Jack rest some." Chase said looking at Brenda noticing her staring at his hand. She noticed he noticed her staring and she felt embarrassed automatically. Chase smiled at her and said, "Will we see you tomorrow Brenda?"
"Of course. I live here it seems like." She smiled.
"Good take care of him and watch him he's a trick bastard he'll start whining to leave soon." Chase joked smiling at Jack who was staring at the wall off in his own world, taking Chase back to the pain of losing Kim. What was he doing he had been flirting with Brenda since after the funeral. How could he forget Kim and move on so quickly? Was he that horrible of a person? "See you tomorrow Jack." Chase said Angela screamed as they walked out of the room, "Bye Jack."
Once they were gone Jack closed his eyes he felt the pain of losing Kim come tumbling down on him again. He felt the tears well in his eyes and he kept them close even as the tears fell down his cheeks. Brenda noticed this and decided to give him some time on his own. She would check on him in a few hours. She walked out of the room closing the door behind her.
The next morning Brenda was getting ready to make her rounds when Daisy grabbed her. Daisy was the woman that would be Jack's physical therapist. "I've seen you working a lot recently."
"What can I say I'm addicted to my job."
"Or a certain patient."
"Who?" Brenda played dumb.
"Uhm let me think, Jack Bauer maybe?"
Brenda smiled it wasn't Jack that kept her coming around, "No. Not him."
"Than maybe that other guy that always seems to be around. What is his name again?"
"Chase."
"So what is Bauer's story I've heard some of it in the newspapers but you can't always believe what you read."
"Talk to you about it over lunch?" Brenda said checking her watch.
"Sure let's go out though."
While over lunch Brenda filled her in on everything she knew, "From what I've gotten out of Chase and eavesdropping and Angela, Chase's little girl. Chase was going with Kim, she was Jack's daughter."
"Was as is no more?"
"Yeah the same people who did this to Jack killed Kim."
"God."
"Yeah and it gets worse according to Chase this was the last family member he really had left. His wife had been killed a few years back by a co-worker and some of this stuff was done by another co-worker. Both of these co-workers being people he had trusted."
"Ouch." Daisy said thinking about it seriously.
"Yeah. So now here he is. He's going to be a hard one too. From what I understand he is pretty much giving up. He puts on a good face for Angela, but once she's gone he's a wreck again."
"God why do I always get the hard ones."
"Because you're good at your job. Take care of him he seems to be really kind and caring."
"Sure have you heard about his past?"
"Somewhat." She said looking away. "We better get back." Brenda said looking at her watch they had been gone for an hour.
Brenda and Daisy walked into the unit and went directly to Jack's room to find him standing beside the bed holding himself up with his hands breathing heavily, clearly in pain. "What are you doing?" Brenda snapped.
"Leaving." Jack said determined to move more, even if it killed him he hoped it would.
"You can barely stand Jack how do you expect to walk out of here?" Brenda asked with an amused smile which only got anger out of Jack.
Jack let go of the bed and moved a few steps when he felt himself going down to the ground crying out in pain as the gunshot would to his leg broke open.
Brenda rushed over to him and said, "You are too stubborn for your own good. Come on let's get you back in the bed." Daisy walked over and helped her lift Jack up and back into the bed. Daisy looked at his leg and said, "It just needs to be redressed otherwise it'll be fine."
"Who are you?" Jack asked in a rough voice caused by the pain.
"I am your physical therapist and I think we've done enough for the day." She said smiling at him.
Jack lay back in the bed tired from the little movement, "When can I leave this place?"
"It all depends on how quickly you heal. I think it's pretty safe to move him down to a normal room, if the docs ok with that." Daisy said looking him over not being able to look away from his blue eyes that held so much pain, emotional pain. She felt them bore through her as she looked at him. She blinked and looked away feeling like he had just read her or something. "I'll come back later." She said walking out to finish her rounds.
Daisy returned to the room a few hours later to find Jack perched in the bed watching TV with Angela. Chase was sitting in the corner working away on a laptop and Angela was giggling on the foot of the bed watching some nickelodeon cartoon.
"Good news. We are moving you to a standard room no more intensive care. Since you are up and doing good. Which means you can take a bath." She smiled at him.
Angela giggled and joked, "Finally you stink."
Jack smiled at her, but only because he didn't want to hurt her feelings. He didn't want to smile, but he knew he had to act like everything was fine around her and Chase and anyone else for that matter.
Daisy noticed the look on Jack face and said, "Let's get you. Um Chase could you come back later he's going to busy for awhile."
"Sure. Just call if you need anything Jack." Chase said closing up his work and grabbing Angela. "We'll come back tomorrow." Chase and Angela walked out of the room Angela came running back in the room and kissed Jack's hand, "See you tomorrow."
Jack smiled and went back to his normal frown after she left. Daisy got the wheel chair out of the hallway and pushed it in. She unhooked all the machines and IV's and said, "Ok let's get you moving." She helped him up Jack supported himself mostly on the bed trying not to fall or have her help him. He growled because he was trying to keep her from helping and hurting himself in the process.
"Jack you got to let me help you some." She said knowing he was going to be a hard patient. Once she got him in the wheel chair she wheeled him to the elevators and than down a few floors. She pushed him into his new room which was like the old one without all the machines. "I think they brought you some clothes we forgot upstairs." She ran back up to the old room and found the clothes Chase had brought for him. She entered the room to see him wheeling himself toward the exit.
"Come on let's go get you cleaned up." She said walking behind and taking control of the chair, "Jack I know it's hard for you, but if you just give me a chance we could get you back and moving in no time. The more you cooperate with me the quicker you'll get out of here."
Jack didn't answer her, when Angela was not around he gave everyone the silent treatment except Chase occasionally he would answer his questions.
She pushed him into the room that had a contraption already set up in the shower for him to sit one and shower with. She pushed him in the room and started to help him undress.
Jack said, "I can get it." He said it softly. He stood up with her help and used the wall to support himself his muscles sore and weak from weeks of lying around and not being used, on top of the wounds and drugs. He removed the paper clothes, as he referred to them as and didn't take the boxers off. He was uncomfortable with her in the room.
"Are you sure you are ok?"
"I'm fine." He snapped he hated being in this state, why wasn't he dead.
"Just take it easy ok." She said walking out hearing a cry of pain a minute later. She walked back in to see Jack sitting back down with his eyes closed. "Are you ok?"
"Yeah." A weak soft voice again.
"Come on. I'll help you. You just have to take it easy that's all. Slow and easy. It's going to hurt some." She moved over to help him and he let her. She closed the shower curtain and stood in the room waiting for him to finish. When she heard the water turn off she reached through the shower curtain and handed him a towel.
Jack moved slowly not wanting to cause the pain he felt earlier. He wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped out slowly. He sat in the chair slowly the wound on his leg throbbing. She pushed him back to the room and helped him dress putting on a pair of boxers and flannel pants. Once he was situated in the bed she sat down next to him in a chair. "I thought I would outline what we are going to do over the next few weeks to get you out of here. I know how much you don't want to be here. We are going to start out easily. Just getting you slowly moving around. Simple stretches you're your legs to get the muscles back the wound on your leg took some muscle away and nicked the bone. It's going to be painful at first and I'll keep you on the pain killers for awhile. But I am going to try to wean you off them slowly. Once we get you some of the muscle back you can move onto a walker. I know what you'll think of it, but it will be necessary the better you do on that the quicker we can move you over to a cane. You'll probably have a slight limp after all is said in done."
Jack didn't answer her she wasn't even sure if he was listening and she was starting to loss her patience with him. "Jack I know you lost your daughter, and I know you are hurting inside, but don't waste my time. It's valuable."
Jack did look at her but he said nothing. Daisy walked out of the room clearly pissed off. She didn't know why she was pissed off she knew he was going to be a hard patient Brenda had warned her, but it still just made her angry the way he treated her. She was at the nurses station when she saw someone she didn't know enter his room. She watched curiously they had been warned to look for anyone suspicious because whoever did this to him might still be around. Once he was out of the ICU they took the guards off him by order of someone at CTU. She watched and listened.
"Hello Jack." The woman said in the cold voice.
Jack looked at her the pain clear in his face, his chest clearly showing all of his wounds as they had not been bandaged again after the shower, which he felt better after having it. "Carol." He croaked. "I'm sorry." He had tears in his eyes but he pushed them back. He could see the anger in her face and the pain.
"Don't even start because you being sorry isn't going to bring my sister or my niece back." Carol said in a cold voice. "How can you live with yourself? Kim told me all about what you have done. The drugs, the women, what would Teri say now if she were alive. I came to tell you not to call ever. I don't want you to even visit their graves. You have no right Jack. And the day you die, hopefully soon I hope they just burn you and throw your ashes in the garbage because you don't deserve to live. They did, they died because of your mistakes, your faults, and that is all your fault. I hope it kills you inside so bad that one night you take a gun and do the job yourself. Or maybe you'll just overdose one night." Carol had tears streaming down her face she didn't care how much Jack was in pain, she was in worse pain and she wanted him to be as bad off as she was. She had lost her entire family because of him, and she hated him for it. She thought about finishing him off herself. She walked out of the room as soon as she had entered.
Jack waited a few minutes before he let the tears escape his eyes. He closed his eyes trying to block them away as he heard someone in the doorway. When he opened his eyes Daisy stood in the doorway looking in on him. She walked over and took his hand. "Go ahead Jack." She tried to encourage him to let it out she had heard every word the woman said as had half the hallway.
Jack shut down quickly not crying anymore, but Daisy could see the pain in his bluish green eyes. She found herself staring a little to long in his eyes, "I'm sorry if I snapped on you earlier. I'm the last thing you need. It's just you have so many people left that care about you Jack. I've seen that little girl Angela she adores as much as she adores Chase. She worships the ground you walk on. And Chase Brenda told me all about how he never left your bed side, she had to practically threaten him with a baseball bat to get him to leave your bedside. And I didn't know your daughter, but I am sure that she wouldn't want you to feel this much pain. They care for you Jack and they will be there for you no matter what, and yet you treat them badly. I know it's because you are in pain, but I promise with time it gets better."
Jack snapped his pain from Carols words finding a target, "How do you know?"
Daisy swallowed hard she had never told anyone this before, and he was a new patient and this was going way paste any patient boundaries, but she wanted to help him because he reminded her of herself. "I was in your position before. My husband was a narcotics police officer. He went undercover to bring down a Mexican drug ring. He wasn't able to bring them down. They found out about him somehow, the police never told me how. But one night I came home from work and I saw his car in the driveway. I was so happy to see him home finally I had missed him so much." She stopped he didn't need to know the next part she thought to herself, "I woke up a few weeks later in the hospital and found out he was dead." She said softly. "That was a few years ago now. Each day it gets better you have to work at it though." She got up and left the room slowly as to maintain that it got easier everyday, but the day replayed in her mind. Sometimes it snuck up on her and played out in her mind, and she never could block it all out.
Brenda saw her coming out of the room and rushed over to her noticing how she looked once she cleared the door, "Come with me." She took her arm and pulled her into an empty room, "What's wrong?"
"What are you doing down here?" Daisy asked deflecting the question.
"Came to check up on Jack."
"Aren't we getting a little attach?"
"I'm way past attach." Brenda said looking at her still worried. "What did he do?"
"Nothing at all. I'm fine." Daisy said smiling weakly to back it up.
Brenda stared at her for a few more minutes before she said, "Ok."
"So you really like this Chase guy?"
"Yeah, but I feel bad because he just lost his girlfriend and all. I know he does at times I can notice because one minute he'll be all buddy and the next he's cold. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was Jack's son and the girl was just his girlfriend." Brenda said really believing it.
"I better get moving on got a few more people to see." Daisy said walking out of the room.
Brenda walked to Jack's room and found him sitting in the bed staring at the wall, "Hey."
Jack looked over at her his eyes bloodshot. He said in a low quiet voice, "hey."
"What did you do to Daisy?"
Jack didn't answer her, but his face conveyed some sort of guilt.
"You want some decent food?" She asked noticing the guilty look on his face.
"Decent food in this place I didn't know it existed."
"It doesn't. I'll be back." She said walking out of the room. She returned twenty minutes later with a bag of TACO BELL. She handed him a few taco's and said, "I didn't know what you'd like so I picked up taco's."
"Thank you." Jack said sitting up slowly grimacing.
"Take it easy the doctor will kill me if he finds you eating this crap." She said grabbing out her own food. "Is Angela your granddaughter?" He looked a little young to have grandchildren, but than he looked to young to have Kim as a daughter too.
"No." Jack answered. "She is Chase's daughter."
"Oh." Brenda felt bad when she saw the slight twinge in his facial expression.