Hey! Another chapter! Woohoo! Go me! Still not mine…
Keep On Movin.
I groaned. My head was pounding, body aching and my clothes were all damp.
"Hang on a minute…." I mumbled into my carpet. "Damp?" I opened my eyes. And realised something. I was lying face down – but not on my carpet. At least – not unless my carpet had suddenly become a carpet of grass.
"What the? Grass? How'd I end up outside?" I groaned and forced myself into a sitting position, noting two things. I still had chocolate in one hand and a bottle of vodka in the other. And I was outside. I groaned, winced and wondered how the hell I had managed to get out into the garden considering the state I was in. Then my vision cleared slightly and I realised something else. I was not in my garden. Not unless my garden had lost one major feature, i.e. the house I lived in at one end of it.
"Ok ok, focus, stay calm. I've just wandered somewhere from my house. And ok I know I've never done that before in my life – but hey – there's a first time for everything. And ok, I'm lost – but the sooner I get moving the sooner I find out where on earth I am. Ok then, legs! Get moving!"
***
"Ah such enthusiasm." I muttered half an hour into my walk away from where I had woken up. "Now I'm still lost, still got a killer hangover and I'm still in a bad mood. How the hell did I manage this? God I get myself into some states I tell ya." I commented aloud. "Not content with upsetting all the relatives yesterday I manage to wake up in the middle of nowhere. Last thing I remember was telling Sarah that I was in… Awww shit!" I exclaimed. "I went and told Sarah I was in love with an elf. Well done." I muttered sarcastically. "Now having alienated a good proportion of my relatives I'm gonna wake up from this really weird dream and find myself in a straitjacket. Brilliant. Superb. Sometimes I amaze even myself."
"Amaze hmmm?" A voice said behind me.
I turned slowly, a sense of dread building inside of me. Something deep within me was telling me that turning around was really not a good idea. Not if I wanted to keep my sanity. I turned anyway.
"Oh. My. God."
Idiot.
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R&R you know you want to!