Next chapter. I'm on a roll. With a salad! Go me! Still ain't mine.
Elevation.
"Nonononononononononononononononooooooooooooo!"
"Hmmm hasty you are I see."
"Fuck me! Fucking hell. You! You're a fucking Ent!" I cried pointing at the creature that was towering above me. "NOOOOO! This cannot be happening to me. Okay? Not again. If I'm back in Middle Earth I wanna be back at the Palace, with all the creature comforts – none of this trudging across anywhere nonsense. I've done it before – I'm NOT doing it again. YOU HEAR ME?!" I shouted up at the sky.
"Very hasty you humans are."
I rounded on him. "Hasty? HASTY?! Look Mr TREE I happen to be here under VERY stressful circumstances; I have a hangover and quite possibly PMS. DO. NOT. GET. IN. MY. WAY." I punctuated every word with a jab of my finger at him. He visibly wilted.
***
After some time I discovered that I was near the border of the forest of Fangorn and I was talking to Treebeard. As you do. Part of me wondered whether this was just some sort of really weird hallucination brought on by too much alcohol and too many daydreams of my elf. The other part decided not to question my good luck and just thank my lucky stars that I was finally back in Middle Earth, even if it wasn't quite where I wanted to be.
"Look Treebeard," I said interrupting his rather boring story about entwives and possible places they could have ended up, "That's really nice and all but I really need to get going towards Mirkwood. Can you err point me in the right direction?"
"Mirkwood? Mirkwood. Hmm." He pondered. "It's not Mirkwood anymore you know." He commented.
I sighed exasperatedly. "Trust me to bump into the one creature in this world whose idea of directions is to stand there and ponder whilst I wither and die." I mumbled beneath my breath. I would have said it aloud but I figured it probably was not a good idea to get on the wrong side of something that was much, much bigger than me.
"its called Eryn Lasgalen now." Treebeard continued oblivious to my impatience. "And it's that way." He pointed off into the distance.
"Cheers mate." I said before turning abruptly away and marching off towards what I still called Mirkwood. "Just cos it's got some fancy name don't make it any different." I muttered aloud. "Probably still full of orcs and spiders and valar knows what else. Hmm. Better pick up some sort of weapon before I go into the wood itself. Ah well, plenty of time to get one of those." I commented and made my way towards my destiny with a large smile on my face. After all I'd done this before so I knew what to expect. Nothing could go that wrong this time. Right?
Idiot.
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*snorts* and we're off! Finally! Hooray! R&R please!