Most people go out for new year's eve. Me? I'm at home with my trusty pc. Well it was either this or line dancing. Which would you choose?! Many thanks to all my reviewers. Tina – yep work sucks and it looks like it's staying that way *sighs* Crazy Lunar Maiden – Veborion is indeed Orlando Bloom translated. Yes I'll just cringe to death having admitted how sad I am. And Starbrat – ho ho ho indeed – fortunately the real Santa brought me something other than coal! cheers for all the reviews but I wouldn't say no to more. Hint hint! It isn't mine, Santa forgot to put it in my stocking….

Roses In The Hospital

I had been in Mordor for a few days. Fortunately once the fiasco that was 'Christmas Middle Earth Style' was finally over and the trees with all their pink decorations had been taken down. I considered this to be a good thing. Owen was still with me, proudly showing off his new earmuffs to all and sundry. This proved to be something of a mistake as news travels fast around Mordor.

"Owen Orcenbeast!" A high pitched voice shrieked.

I swivelled my head around to see where the voice was coming from. The Sues that were currently surrounding and admiring Owen's earmuffs seemed to shrink back.

I frowned. Was it my imagination or were the Sues retreating from Owen?

"Owen Orcenbeast!" The voice cried again, this time sounding closer to us. I looked over to the Sues. They were definitely retreating back. I was puzzled. What exactly are Sues frightened of?

Then it or rather (as I later found out) she appeared. And I didn't blame the Sues for being worried. Which was just at the moment that Owen dived behind me and whispered "Save me fangirl!"

***

You remember when Saruman made the Uruk-Hai by crossing Goblins with Orcs? Frightening things in the cinema weren't they? When I say seeing one up close is a HECK of a lot scarier, I'm not exaggerating. Understating the case would be closer to the truth. And I now had one march right up to me and give me a glare that would have shattered platinum. Or, as this is Middle earth, mithril. Just my luck that the creature she wanted happened to be cowering behind me at that very moment.

"Owen Orcenbeast!" She shrieked for the third time, this time right in my ear. "You are a disgrace to the family name!"

I winced, semi-deafened by the creature in front of me. Then I realised what she had said and turned my head in Owen's direction. "'Family name?'"

Owen grimaced, then his expression changed to sheepish. Have you ever seen an orc trying to look sheepish? It's surprisingly effective. Then he said in a very small voice, "Hello, cousin Ursula."

***

Ursula the Uruk-Hai was still glaring at Owen the orc. Part of me pondered whether I had wandered into some really weird children's story with the alliterative first name/species thing going on. I wondered whether I was going to meet a Malcolm the man, or David the dwarf or even Ewan the elf. Then I remembered I was in the middle of what could very well be a nasty family argument and I decided to move.

It was rather unfortunate that Owen had such a tight grip on me when I tried to move away. Particularly as his grip made me lose my balance and I fell onto Ursula, knocking her over. We ended up in a tangled bunch rolling around on the ground.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh" I cried in pain as I rolled away. "Which one of you bit me?!" I examined my shoulder. "It broke the skin!" I declared. "I'M BLEEDING!" I shouted as I noticed the blood dribbling from the wound.

"Hhmmm" Owen cleared his throat to get my attention. "Sorry," he murmured.

"Sorry?" I queried, glaring at Ursula who had obviously to my mind committed the crime.

"I'm afraid that was me." Owen calmly stated. He saw my look of disbelief. "Old habits die hard y'know."

***

I left Ursula and Owen arguing. Turned out Owen was a disgrace to the family name of Orcenbeast in that he hadn't followed in his family's plans for him. Nope, not the whole hunting and killing thing that orcs usually do, Ursula was unhappy because Owen hadn't joined the family business. The family business of interior decorating.

I sat down on a rock a little way away from the two cousins. "No wonder he knew where to get pink tinsel." I observed aloud. I glanced around and noticed a lovely little rose bush near me. I don't know what possessed me to speak to it but I did.

"Hello there little rose bush." I said smiling at the beautiful plant.

"My name is Gina." Said a voice indignantly, "And I'm not little, for my breed I'm rather tall. And if you don't have anything sensible to say then I suggest you remain quiet."

I sighed. "Dear Valar, is there anyone on this planet I don't offend the moment I open my mouth?" I asked the sky. "My apologies Gina." I said as humbly as I could, "I didn't mean to offend you."

"Well, no real harm done." Gina the rose bush responded condescendingly "Just don't do it next time."

I paused as the situation sank in. "Hang on hang on!" I said loudly. "I think I'm going insane. I need to clear a few points up here."

***

"So let me get this straight. You're rosebush. You talk and your name is Gina. Correct?" I said ten minutes later after going over the facts with Gina.

"Got it in one. And you are?"

"I'm the fangirl." I stated.

"Really?"

"Yes. Glad we got that sorted." I paused, then figured what the heck? Asking Gina couldn't do any harm could it? After all I was desperate for news on Vebby from anyone and Owen wasn't really much help. "Now I wonder if you can help me, I'm looking for…"
"Mirkwood is that way." Gina pointed one of her branches vaguely into the distance.

"I'm well aware of the location of Mirkwood." I ground out, teeth clenched trying vainly to keep my temper in check, "But I thought I should take err, the more scenic route."

"Ahhhhhh." Gina said as though she understood everything. "It won't be easy you know, searching for what you lost."

"Pardon?" I asked, my head beginning to pound.

Another voice interrupted our conversation. "Gina darling! Where are you dear? Fedarquinyagestarianwen is getting worried about her beautiful little rose bush and her beautiful little roses!"

I cringed. Just what I didn't need. A Sue with possibly one of the worst names I had heard for a while. And I had a headache. Could this get any worse?

"Hide me!" Gina hissed.

Apparently it could. Well what would you do? Could you leave a poor rose bush called Gina to the hands of a creature called Fedarquinyagestarianwen?

Neither could I. I scooped up Gina, roots and all and stuffed her into a bag that I had found conveniently lying on the ground moments earlier. The bag hadn't surprised me, this time in Middle Earth things appeared as and when I seemed to need them. Except Vebby of course.

So now I had an orc, a piece of wood, a lump of coal and a talking rosebush called Gina to help me find Vebby.

Could I fail with a team like that? What could possibly go wrong?

I groaned. Even I knew I was doomed.

Idiot.

***********************

A difficult chapter to write. No idea why. Thanks to Helen for the ursula idea. Anyway R&R please people and of course happy new year!