Writing this whilst in work. Bad bad bad me. The fascists have taken away all the privileges. Do they really expect me to work? Hah! More fool them...
Anyway - usual spiel. This isn't mine. If is was I would be sunning myself on my own private island. Instead I'm stuck in an office doing work I wouldn't even give a slave. There should be a law against this stuff....
Movin On.
So we set off. Yet again. Me,
a rose bush called Gina and an Orc named Owen. Vebby would be found come hell
or high water.
We'd only walked for about 5 minutes when we came to the edge of a forest.
"This had better not be Mirkwood." I commented sourly.
"No dear. Whatever gave you that idea? We are looking for your Veborion not going back there." Gina answered.
"Shhhh!!!!!!" I hissed. Too late. Owen had overheard. "Errrrr...."
"Now fangirl." He started.
"Look it's not like what it sounds..."
"Did you really think that..."
"Honest I mean I just wanna find him, see if he's ok - then back to Mirkwood pronto!" I lied. If Owen discovered that I'd lied to him to get me out of Mirkwood I could end up in deep trouble. Those teeth were very sharp.
"Honestly!" He exclaimed. "I'm not really that dense you know. Everybody knows you came back for him."
Really? "Really?" I asked, "Then why are they so eager to marry me off to Thingy then?"
"I'm afraid I can't tell you."
"WHAT?! They want to marry me off and you can't tell me? Why the hell not?!" I demanded.
"Well..." He paused and looked a little embarrassed. "Because I don't really know."
"Oh." Well that answered that then.
***
"So where are we anyway?" I asked.
"Lothlorien." Came Gina's answer. "The Golden Wood. I have a cousin here. Very snobby plant. Always thinks she's better than me."
And on those words we entered the wood.
***
"So what's this cousin of yours like then?" I asked as we passed through the trees.
"Snobby."
"And?"
"Snobby."
"Okay... Anything else?"
"Snobby... And short."
"Does she have a name?"
"Rose."
"Rose the rosebush?" I hazarded.
"No Rose the Lily! Of course she's Rose the Rosebush!" Gina answered acidly, waving her branches around showing her agitation. "All rosebushes are called rose. Don't you know anything?"
"Obviously not." I answered. "And if that's the case why are you called Gina?"
"Because I didn't like being called Rose. It's HER name!"
My mind went blank. What do you say to that? "Fine. Whatever."
***
I felt it first when we passed by a tiny stream. Like someone had stepped on my grave. I shivered. Then....
"Fangirl."
A voice called. I whipped my head around. Nothing.
"Fangirl of the fanfic world."
I spun my head again. Still nothing. Then I remembered the film.
"Fucking Galadriel. Stop messing with my head you silly blonde bint." I muttered
"You bring great evil here..." She paused for effect. "Rosebearer."
"Fine." I said aloud. "Rip off the book and make it into an inferior film if you must, but please don't let the canon speak the film dialogue!"
The voice in my head shut up rather abruptly.
"Good. Get out and stay out."
And with those words I managed to wind up one of the most powerful elves in Middle Earth.
Idiot.
************
Hmm. A work chapter. Chapters are gonna go very slow at the moment. Am real stressed with work. R&R to encourage me!!!!!