Hooo boy did this take its time. Errr. Excuses??? Urmmmmm. Work, College and University? Sorry folks. Been very busy indeed. And right at this moment in time I should be doing coursework. Bad bad bad me.

A Little Respect

Of course, every once in a while people can really wind me up. What I discovered was that elves can wind me up even more. I was under the impression that Vebby was one of a kind when it came to glaring. That was before I met the oh sooooo delightful Galadriel.

Thought she looked like nice elf in the film did we? Well let me just say that's a reflection on Cate Blanchett not Galadriel. Galadriel, or Gladders as I had mentally termed her, did not live up to her name. And of course, when she realised I had mentally renamed her she was less than impressed.

Plus the whole thing where I had upset Legolas' wedding was also playing on her mind. To say that she wasn't happy to see me would have been an understatement.

She glared. I quailed. Gladders, is after all very powerful indeed.

"Stop that!" She thundered. Even Celeborn jumped.

"Errr...."

"My name is Galadriel!" She declared icily. She turned away. "Remove them from my sight." She commanded.

A blonde elf stepped forward, grabbed my arm and hauled me off. Well, I thought, that went well.

***

It never occurred to me that Lothlorien possessed dungeons. Well it does. If, of course you can call a cell halfway up a giant tree a dungeon. Whatever. But there I sat, a rose named Gina and an orc named Owen as my only companions. I wanted to escape. This time, however, I couldn't burn down my prison.

"Dammit!" I shouted. "Let me out! I'm claustrophobic!"

"It won't work you know." Owen stated wearily.

"It might." I said stubbornly.

"It didn't work the first 50 times. Yes, I have been counting." He said before I could interrupt. "So why should it now?"

"Well, I thought I might wear them down a bit." I answered lamely.

"Look fangirl, the only place we're going is back to Mirkwood. You know it, I know and they definitely know it."

I glared. Dammit I hate it when other people are right.

Could things get any worse?

Then the singing started.

***

Now normally I don't mind a bit of a sing-song. But when you end up enduring a whole night of elves singing songs that all sound the same when you're trying to sleep on the floor of a dungeon your temper tends to get a little frayed.

Having shouted "Shut up!" for the last six hours I was now seething. What made it worse was Gladders laughing in my head.

"Fine." I muttered aloud. "If I can't get them to shut up.... Well." I paused, an evil glint in my eye. "You know what they say, 'If you can't beat them. Join them'."

I racked my brain for what I needed. Five minutes later I knew I had it. I spoke one word.

"Erasure."

And began.

"I tried to discover,


A little something to make me sweeter,


Oh baby refrain,


from breaking my heart.

I'm so in love with you

I'll be forever blue

That you gimme no reason

You know you're making me work so hard

That you gimme no, that you gimme no that you gimme no

Soooooooooooul, I hear you calling

Oh baby pleeeeeeeeease!

Give a little respect…

Tooooo hooo hoooo hooo MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! I sang at the top of my lungs. Several windows shattered. Part of me regretted it, but then something really surprised me.

***

And if I should falter" Began Owen,

"Would you open your arms out to me?" Queried Gina.

"We could make love not war." Owen continued.

"And mmm mm mmm mmmmmmm." Gina 'mm'd in a way that everyone does when they don't know the words.

"I'm sooo in loooove with yoooooooooooouuuu." I joined in.

"I'll be forever blue." Owen rejoined

"What religion or reason can drive a man to forsake his lover?" I asked.

"Don't you tell me no," Sang Owen,

"Don't you tell me no" Gina cut in.

"Don't you tell me no." I repeated.

"Don't you tell me no." We all sang.

"Soooooooooooul, I hear you calling… ohhh baby pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease," We chorused. "Give a little respect TOOOOOO HOOOO HOOOO HOOOO MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

To this day I have no idea where the synthetic 80's pop music came from. What I do know is that every single elf in Lothlorien is not into 80's synth pop. Well, they did choose Gladders as their leader – you can't expect them to have good taste now can you?

I think it was Toni Basil's 'Hey Mickey' that finally did them in. Owen, Gina and I grabbed our belongings and escaped as one elf had finally had enough and opened the door to our little prison. He told us to leave, as he couldn't take it any more. Ironically of course in my opinion, we had just got to the good stuff and I didn't really want to leave.

"Noooooooo! I wasn't to stay!!!!!" I yelped as Owen tried to prise my fingers off the doorframe to our little cell.

"Fangirl, we have to leave NOW!" Owen hissed as he pulled harder.

"But I don't wanna." I whined. "I LIKE this song!"

"Tough!" Owen said. "Gina! Do it!"

Gina stretched out one of her branches and poked me in the eye.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHH!"

We left Lothlorien within minutes.

***

"So," I asked after rubbing my eye for the millionth time as we walked away from Lothlorien. "Where are we going now?"

"Rivendell." Owen answered.

"Errrrr." I stopped. "Excuse me? Did you just say Rivendell?"

"Yes." Came the answer. "IS there a problem?"

"Ohhh. No problem." I said calmly. "After all it's not as if Elrond I going to turn me away now is it? I've ruined his daughter's wedding, called his mother-in-law names, deafened a large part of the elven population of Middle Earth… But I haven't done anything to him." I paused. "At least." I took a breath. "Not yet anyway."

Gina grinned. "We're doooooooooooomed!" She declared cheerily.

Oh how right she was.

Idiot.

****************************

There in the end – finally at least! *Grins* not sure how long this is going to take to finish – I'm going through a stargate phase at the mo sooooooooooo. R&R as usual in your masses please!

And Erasure rule. But not as much as the Pet Shop Boys do – ok?