Notes: This chapter is different from other chapters in that it is written in first person from Shindara's perspective; I hope that doesn't confuse anyone. Mind you I haven't written in first person for quite a long time (read years) and there may be a few mistakes!

Thanks for the reviews and I hope that I updated fast enough this time around!

Honor and Loyalty

Chapter 9: Night watch

Shindara's point of view---

It had been over a day since Yukimura had joined the Mibu Clan and Shinrei had ordered them to follow his movements carefully to be certain that he didn't betray the Clan. That was the reason why I stood here now watching the crowd around the village thin, as the night grew darker and more threatening.

I moved carefully down the hill I had been stationed at and watched the tree line, making sure that none of the Juyushi are nearby. I didn't wish to deal with Saizo's criticism tonight; I only came to make certain that Yukimura wasn't plotting.

My black cloak hung around my shoulders and I carefully adjusted it ever so slightly. I took the back alleyways into the village hoping that no one would stray into my path. Some of the drunkards were stumbling around the open streets and a few stray people still wandered aimlessly as if seeking something. I ignored them and instead headed for the last house that I had seen Yukimura near.

Looking into a nearby window I calmly shook my head when I saw a pair of children sleeping peacefully in their blankets. I moved on to the next house going by the windows with only a mere glance until finally I found the ink black hair that I had been looking for.

There was a single candle lit to fill the room that Yukimura resided in with a golden glow. I saw him lying on a blanket already occupied, pressed against a shadowed body, with an arm slung around a waist and his head resting on a bare shoulder.

Another one of his whores, I thought absently sighing to myself, as I got ready to leave. After all there was no reason to stay when all my former lord was doing was sleeping around with the locals, but something stopped me and I looked back curiously, focusing my eyes more clearly on the two figures in the room.

Yukimura was deep asleep lying beside the other figure and still fully clothed and looking closer I noted the person beside him was male. Though this didn't surprise me much, what did was the bandaged shoulder and upper chest that was lying open above the blanket. I slowly began to identify the person asleep beside Yukimura as Saizo when I saw the bandana that tied his long dark hair in place.

I marveled at how strange it was seeing them sleeping so close and wondered if Saizo even knew their position.

Earlier that day I had heard that one of the Mibu had followed Yukimura and had incidentally injured Saizo. Not that I cared about him anymore. Not since I left the Juyushi...

Do you remember, Saizo? You and I used to sleep beside each other much like Yukimura is doing now. When you had a nightmare or couldn't sleep you would come to me. You were still so young back then.

You told me your dreams, you told me your secrets, and you told me your deepest fears.

You always were so open and honest, I envied your innocence. So unmarred and human, so different from me and perhaps in a way it was this envy that drove me to hate you...and eventually love you.

You lost your sister and killed your former lord, but you were no murderer. You and I were always so different in that retrospect. I knew how to kill and that was that, but you learned to cherish life more.

Do you know why I chose you to become a Juyushi, Saizo? It wasn't just because we needed another person to fill the empty seat of one of the Juyushi. It was because I had heard rumors of the strange ninja who had actually gone against his lord. I saw the grave, Saizo...I know where you buried your sister.

When I went to ask you to join I had known that it would be difficult to sway you. I'm usually not so determined to get a new recruit. I usually give up after the first try. You realize that I pretty much pushed you into joining don't you, Saizo?

I look through the window again watching the candle light work along the side of your face and over Yukimura's back. Do you know that one of your arms is wrapped around your lords' shoulders, Saizo?

I sigh in frustration as I remembered you curled up beside me recounting your dreams to me. Our relationship, if that is what you wish to call it, was never sexual in nature. It was simply the comfort that two people can find in each other's presence and I cherished it while it lasted even if I acted unconcerned by it.

You told me once that your grandfather had told you the legend of the wolves in the past and had described them to you as sleek beautiful creatures with sharp teeth and fur coats.

They had frightened you remember?

You told me one night about them and I had told you that you reminded me of a wolf. I had been telling the truth, although you didn't believe me.

Wolves are known for their loyalty and pride. You were always loyal even during your younger years, I could see it in the way you would follow Yukimura even when I told you not to and in the way you would constantly voice your concern for his safety. You would willingly give your life for him, of that I'm certain.

As for pride...you always did say whatever was on your mind without any second thoughts. I'm sure you've given Yukimura plenty of headaches with that mouth of yours, and you still have a tendency of jumping with both feet into danger even if you aren't needed, though I guess you could call that recklessness too.

I was surprised during one of the nights that you slept beside me when you told me that your greatest fear is of losing Yukimura. I thought at first that your reasoning around that was your remorse for killing your former lord, but after awhile I began to wonder.

The way you would watch over him from afar with a strange look on your face as if you longed to be by his side. It wasn't me, but Kosuke who finally voiced what I had known all along, you loved him.

So obvious, so very obvious, I wondered why I didn't figure it out sooner. Kosuke was the one who first thought that you should tell Yukimura about your feelings. I was the one who stopped you, but really I don't think it would have mattered if I hadn't said anything, you seemed content just to watch from afar even as Yukimura took another young girl nearby.

I wondered sometimes what you were thinking about at those moments. Did you imagine yourself being held in his arms like that or did you think it an impossible feat. You were quick to admit to me that yes, you loved him, but you were calm about it as well. You didn't jump up and down trying to get Yukimura's attention as I had imagined you to.

In all actuality you were the one who appeared to be most immune to Yukimura's charm. I'm sure that part of that was because of your pride. The pride that made you hold back any confessions and glued your mouth shut when Yukimura would tease you. Perhaps it's not such a great thing to be so proud?

I thought that the incident with Mizuki was also part of the problem. Your own mind telling you that it wasn't right to take the kind girls place at his side and at that time you were probably right, but Saizo think of how many years its been now, perhaps it would be worth it to try?

You could push those other whores away if you wanted to, you know. I don't believe that Yukimura would let go of your heart; you are one of his Juyushi after all and you've known him far longer than most of the others. I know you don't notice him watching you, oblivious as you are to such things, but even if you cannot see it, I can.

So that's why recently I decided to push the two of you at each other. I started speaking to you, because I could still see that look in your eyes and alongside it was a strange pain that must have lodged its way into your mind over the last few years, as you saw chances slipping away like water through your hands.

I don't know if I'm making a mistake, I don't know if I'll be able to change anything. Maybe this image of you and Yukimura is merely a figment of my imagination and even if it isn't, Yukimura will probably die soon, but you'll die first, won't you, Saizo? Your selflessness was always your downfall.

Fate...

The markings that cover my body now and the prophecy that Tokito gave me; this is the only thing driving me now. We will be deadly enemies the next time we meet, Saizo. I am Shindara the undying of the Juunishinshou, I'll kill anyone that gets in my way, even you.

Thrown out of my reverie, I pull away from the window as a soft breeze makes you stir ever so slightly, but you only turn to the side resting your head against Yukimura's.

I suspect that your lord probably drugged you into your deep sleep because even a low level ninja would be able to sense me so close, but I refuse to take my chances and I have already dawdled here long enough.

I bid you farewell Kirigakure Saizo and pray that we do not meet again as inevitable as the request may be.

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Originally this was going to be a separate story from Honor and Loyalty that's why this is from Shindara's point of view, but I found that it was easier for me just to tie the two fanfics together.

Oh and yes, I know the wolf thing has been overdone in the last few years, what with the lone wolf statement, Wolfs Rain and what not all ever else, but I really think that Saizo resembles a wolf in his characteristics.