Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: The Men

Manly Sleepover

This is a new one. The girls got a "slumber party" so the boys needed one. A MANLY one.

Lee had had so much fun watching scary movies with everyone and had even MORE fun after Neji had stayed the night that he decided that he wanted EVERYONE to come over and enjoy themselves! Of course, he couldn't invite the girls because they were getting at that age where it's inappropriate to have a multi gender sleepover party. After all, Lee's thirteen now and he's a big boy.

He slaved over beautiful invitations and made a set time and date. He counted down the days until it finally presented itself and, luckily enough, everyone was able to come! YAY!

So he waited and waited and waited. His house was stocked with chips and dip and soda up the WAZOO! Yes, he was just throwing this party for no reason at all. It wasn't his birthday or a special occasion. Just a nice get together to remind everyone that they're friends. At least, that's the way Lee sees it.

The first person to arrive was Naruto!

"Happy birthday Lee!!" said Naruto as he handed Lee a present.

"It's not my birthday, Naruto." Said Lee, looking puzzled.

"…It's not?" Naruto said in a confused tone.

"No." Lee said.

"Wait…you DID send this invitation, didn't you?" Naruto said, pulling the invitation out of his pocket.

"Yeah!" said Lee. "I just wanted to have another little party."

"Oh." Said Naruto as he took the present back while eyeing Lee. "Then I'll be taking this back…"

Shikamaru and Shino showed up at roughly the same time. They didn't say anything particularly interesting upon arrival so everyone waited around for a little while longer until Chouji was suddenly at the door.

"Wow!" exclaimed Chouji. "Shikamaru! You're here before me!"

"Fancy that." Said Shikamaru.

"Hey, who else is invited to this party?" Naruto asked as Lee brought a bowl of chips into the room where they were hanging out. "Not Sasuke I hope!"

As Lee opened his mouth to answer, the doorbell rang again. So Lee opened the door and Sasuke was standing there.

"Why did you invite HIM?" said Naruto, glaring at Sasuke.

Sasuke only looked at Naruto with a face that definitely said, "I'm better than you."

"The only people left on my list are Neji and Kiba." Said Lee.

Then the doorbell rang again.

"I bet that's them!!" said Lee as he flung the door open only to see a random pizza delivery boy. "Oh. That wasn't done nearly as awesomely as Sasuke's entrance."

"Of course." Said Sasuke. He didn't hear the entire sentence or the context in which his name and the word 'awesome' was used to describe him or something he did, but he wasn't about to disagree with it.

Lee paid the pizza man and took the pizza into the kitchen.

"What kind of pizza did you get?" asked Chouji.

"Well…I didn't exactly know what kind of pizza everyone likes." Lee said. "I mean, I knew what I liked and I also just so happened to know what Neji likes."

Sasuke opened one of the boxes to see what LOOKED like a pizza, except it was lacking everything that would potentially make it a pizza. It was just a slab of cooked dough in the shape of a pizza. "What is with this bread?" he asked finally after being in a stupefied state for a moment or two.

"Oh, that's Neji's pizza." Lee replied.

"This is BREAD." Said Sasuke.

"I know." Said Lee. Then the doorbell rang and Lee ran over to open it. When he returned the kitchen, he was accompanied by Neji!

"This is pretty awesome pizza, Neji." Said Naruto sarcastically.

"And?" Neji said. "I don't like cheese or sauce or any of the toppings."

"That's obvious." Said Naruto. "You should have just brought yourself over a loaf of bread instead of making Lee pay for it!"

Neji only glared his evil glare just as the doorbell rang again and Lee was out of the room in a flash, returning a moment later with Kiba! "Sorry I'm late!" Kiba said loudly. "Akamaru couldn't find his sleeping bag and he refused to leave without it!"

Everyone stared at each other.

"Oh!" said Kiba. "Pizza!!"

Then they remembered the pizza! So everyone went for the pizza. No one went for Neji's lame-o pizza though. Only Neji did.

"Eat up, everyone!" said Lee. "I don't want to have any extra pizza hanging around the house for long periods of time!"

"I don't think you have to worry about the pizza being finished." Said Shikamaru, gesturing towards Chouji. Chouji cut out a slice of pizza and then picked the rest of the pizza up out of the box and put it on his plate, leaving the single slice behind.

"Hey, save some for us!" said Kiba who was genuinely offended.

"There's plenty!" said Chouji.

Everyone ate their pizza contently.

As Shino started on his second slice of pizza, he started to wonder what he was doing there. He tried to remember what possessed him to RSVP to Lee and tell him that he would be able to come instead of making up some sort of crazy excuse like…he had to clean stuff. But at least he got free pizza out of the deal. Otherwise he would have just been sitting at home all alone. And cleaning stuff.

"I thought I was boring." Said Shikamaru, looking at Neji who was now eating his bread with a fork and knife. "I at least eat my pizza with sauce and cheese on it."

"Is anyone else going to make fun of my pizza?" Neji said, dropping his fork and knife.

"Leave Neji and his pizza alone!" said Lee.

"That is NOT pizza." Said Kiba who was genuinely offended by this as well.

"HEY!" yelled Naruto suddenly, slamming the cover of the pizza box down on Sasuke's hand. "What do you think you're doing?!"

"Getting another piece of pizza?" Sasuke said with a raised eyebrow.

"What makes you think you can have a THIRD piece while I'm still on my second piece?!" Naruto demand.

"I eat faster than you do?" Sasuke tried.

"Sasuke, we each only get TWO pieces of pizza until we know there's enough pizza for everyone!" Naruto decided.

"I think there's plenty." Said Lee.

"Besides, Chouji's already broken that rule." Said Sasuke. "I think he's had two pizzas already."

"So?" said Chouji.

"I think Akamaru is only going to have one piece." Kiba said. "I doubt he'll even finish this one." Akamaru barked at Kiba. "What are you talking about, Akamaru?! You NEVER finish your pizza! What makes this time so special?!"

"Fine…whatever." Said Sasuke, leaning back.

"You can have another piece." Said Lee. "I think everyone's had at least two pieces by now."

"I'm done." Said Shikamaru, putting his napkin on the table after finishing two slices.

"Oh Shikamaru!" said Chouji. "Don't you think you can eat just one more slice?"

"Not if Naruto is going to yell at me for it." said Shikamaru. "Besides, I'm full anyway. Two is enough for me."

"Hey Lee, is there anything to drink?" Kiba asked.

"Oh right!" said Lee, slapping his forehead so enthusiastically that it looked like he was right out of a silent film. "I forgot all about the drinks! I'll be right back!"

He got up from the table and went to get some soda. Then he brought it all to the table. After that, he went back to the refrigerator and pulled out bottled water and a juice box.

"Here's your water, Neji." Said Lee.

Shikamaru looked at Neji with a questioning expression as he unscrewed the cap and placed it next to his slice of bread. "What?" Neji said, taking note of the fact that Shikamaru was STARING at him.

"You eat bread and water for dinner?" Shikamaru said. "At a party?"

"Yes." Said Neji. "Why are my eating habits bothering you?"

Shikamaru shrugged. HE didn't even know why he was so bothered.

"Lee, do you have any more of those juice boxes?" Sasuke asked.

"Sure, why?" Lee asked.

"I don't like soda." Sasuke answered.

"Okay!" said Lee as he frolicked back to the fridge and pulled out another juice box.

"Wow!" said Kiba. "Soda! Right in front of me!"

He grabbed the biggest cup he could and filled it up to the very top. Akamaru barked at him.

"Shh..." said Kiba. "Be quiet, Akamaru! Don't TELL them! Here, I'll give YOU some too." He poured another glass for Akamaru. Akamaru looked, at first, conflicted, but then he drank it anyway.

"What's that all about?" Shino asked.

"I'm not supposed to have soda." Kiba whispered but everyone could hear him anyway.

"Neither am I!" said Lee. "It makes me hyper active and I can't get to sleep after I drink just a little bit!"

"That's the same reason I can't drink it!" said Kiba. "I swear I'm going to be up all night after I drink this cup and the many more after that I am ready to pour myself. Who's with me?!"

"Kiba, give that to me." Said Shino, leaning over to take the cup since he was sitting across from Kiba.

"Your mom, Shino." Said Kiba as he scooted back in his chair so he was out of Shino's reach.

"Is there any pizza left?" Chouji asked, licking his fingers.

"You ate it all?!" Lee exclaimed.

"No, he didn't eat Neji's dumb pizza!" said Naruto.

"Yeah…" said Neji, opening up the box only to find that it was empty. "Hey! He DID eat it. I didn't even get a second piece!"

"That's what you get for eating your pizza with a knife and fork." Said Shikamaru.

"I was HUNGRY!" said Chouji.

"Well…there's no more pizza…but there's plenty of chips!" said Lee. "Do you guys want to finish the Disembodied Head that Ate People as we eat the chips? You guys never saw the end of it!"

"Oh yeah!" said everyone.

"I don't want to watch it." said Naruto. "That movie was dumb."

"And there were too many continuity errors." Shikamaru added.

"If Shikamaru doesn't want to watch it, we shouldn't!" Chouji said. "He's a chuunin after all and he could kick our butts if he doesn't get his way!"

"The plot was boring." Said Sasuke but it was all a front! The mere thought of the movie was making him sweat.

"We saw the end already, Lee." Said Neji.

"Instead of chips, can we have popcorn?" Shino asked.

"Is that the movie with the head and the guy?" Kiba asked as he poured himself another cup of soda.

"I'll take that as a collective no!" said Lee. "So what should we do?"

"Well, since the girls always spy on ME when they have their sleepovers, we should spy on THEM!" said Naruto.

"They SO do not spy on you, Naruto." Said Sasuke.

"You don't KNOW that!!" yelled Naruto.

"Yes I do." Said Sasuke. "Because they are too busy spying on ME."

"You WISH, Sasuke!" said Naruto.

The night continued onward like that. They played a few rounds of 'Dare' and then went outside and sparred for a little while. After that, they played a few random relay races to try to figure out who was the best among them. Finally, it was about nine o'clock, some people's bedtime's.

Sasuke was wearing his Uchiha fan pajamas that matched his Uchiha fan sleeping bag. Shino's pajamas looked exactly like his clothes and for all everyone knew, he just went into the bathroom and walked back out without changing. Lee had on his green sleepers with the feet and the bunny tail and the hood that had bunny ears on them. Naruto had on his pajamas that you see him wearing in the show. Neji had on his pajamas that would fit no one else for they were measured out to be exactly his size and made by only the best Hyuuga tailors that were in the Branch House. Shikamaru was wearing his lumberjack pajamas. Chouji also had sleepers but they didn't have the feet or the bunny attributes or anything crazy like that. As for Kiba, he decided that since he was staying up all night, he didn't NEED to change into his pajamas!

Everyone dreamt very manly dreams. The next morning, they were awakened by the sound of pots and pans being banged around. Everyone crept upstairs ready to smite an intruder who may have been trying to molest them as they slept only to find Kiba there!

"I'm making everyone breakfast!" he announced. "You're all pussies and went to sleep at nine o'clock but me and Akamaru stayed up ALL NIGHT! Actually, Akamaru went to sleep at around two but I stayed up all night!"

He hardly finished that sentence when he suddenly let out a loud snore and sprawled out across the table, sleeping.

"Oh well!" said Lee. "Let's all get changed! Your parents will be here to pick you up soon!"

"OKAY!!" yelled everyone as they punched the air and the screen froze and they all turned into a drawing but their laughter continued into the beautiful morning.