Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: The Teachers

First Dibs

This is a new idea that was sparked after writing "Teacher Evaluation".  We never really wrote it.  But now we have!  Yay!

"All right…" said Iruka as he looked at the names of the students in the class.  He had nine more students that he had to separate and three of his familiar friends to give them to.  Sitting alone in his empty classroom, he was absolutely stuck.

That's exactly when Asuma, Kurenai and Kakashi came in the door.

"Iruka!" said Asuma.  "How've you been?"

"Good." Said Iruka.  "I swear, the hardest part about being a teacher in the academy is having to separate the students into their three man teams.  I mean, this could entirely determine the rest of these student's lives as ninjas!  I don't want to mess it up…"

"We'll help you." Said Kakashi.  "Do you have any left?"

"Well…there's Uchiha Sasuke." Iruka said.  "Number One in the class.  Aburame Shino, Number Two in the class.  Inuzuka Kiba, partner fighting with his dog.  Akimichi Chouji, from the Akimichi clan.  Nara Shikamaru, second worst in the class.  Uzumaki Naruto… worst in the class."

The teachers waited.

"There are three remaining girls in the class as well." Iruka went on.  "Yamanaka Ino, the best female ninja in the class.  Haruno Sakura, the smartest in the class.  Hyuuga Hinata, heir to the Hyuuga Main House."

"Hm…puzzling indeed…" said Kurenai.

"How should I split them up?" Iruka wondered.

Kakashi cleared his throat.  "Dibs." He said.

"Dibs?" Iruka said curiously.

"Dibs on the Uchiha." He said.

"Hey!" said Asuma.  "That's not fair!"

"Dibs on the second best!" Kurenai said.

"You guys can't just call dibs!" said Iruka.  "These are the students we're talking about!  Though…this will make it easier to balance the team strength out…we COULD try it out…"

"Then I get the Uchiha?" Kakashi said.

"We could try…" said Iruka.  "But you know, if you have Sasuke who is the best in the class, you automatically get Naruto, the worst in the class."

"I know, I know." Said Kakashi.  "But If I get the worst in the class, I demand to have the best girl in the class."

"You can't have the best boy AND the best girl!" Asuma yelled, slamming his hand down on the table.

"You're just mad that I called them first." Kakashi said.

"Remember I already called dibs on the second best!" said Kurenai.

"I know." Said Iruka.  "So Kakashi's team will be Sasuke, Naruto and Ino.  Kurenai has Shino."

"If Kakashi's going to have the best girl ninja, I want the smart girl!" said Kurenai.

"Sakura?" said Iruka.  "I have to warn you, she can't really do much else."

"That's okay." Said Kurenai.  "We'll compensate."

"Guys…you're leaving me with the worst ones…" complained Asuma.

"You have to be quicker when you're calling people." Said Kakashi.  "Like me."

"Fine!" said Asuma.  "Iruka, out of Kiba, Chouji and Shikamaru, who's the best fighter?"

"Kiba." Iruka answered.

"Then I'll take him!" said Asuma.  "HA!"

"Okay…since Asuma is going to take Hinata because we need to have at least one girl on each team, only Chouji and Shikamaru are still up for grabs." Said Iruka as he wrote down all the names.

"I'll take Chouji." Said Asuma.  "I don't need a loser last place on my team."

"He's SECOND to last." Iruka corrected.

"Whatever." Said Asuma.

"Okay, so Kakashi has Ino, Sasuke and Naruto…" Iruka said.  "Kurenai has Shino, Sakura and Shikamaru…and Asuma has Chouji, Hinata and Kiba."  He paused and thought about this.  "The teams…aren't really that fair…"

"I call Sasuke!!" yelled Asuma.

"No, Sasuke's MINE." Said Kakashi.

"Kakashi, you have too much power on your team." Said Iruka.  "You have to give up either Sasuke or Ino."

"Ino." Said Kakashi.  "DUH."

"I should get the best girl in the class!" said Asuma.  "Because Kakashi has the best, Kurenai has the second best and I have NO ONE!"

"That sounds reasonable." Said Iruka with a shrug.  "Kakashi, you have Hinata now."

"I'm keeping my team the way it is." Said Kakashi.

"I'm still going to look at them…" said Iruka.  "Hm…Kurenai, you have absolutely no taijutsu on your team.  At all.  And Asuma, your team has no brains at all."

"I thought you said that Ino was the best girl in the class!" whined Asuma.

"But you have Kiba and Chouji to cancel her out." Said Iruka.  "So I'm going to switch Kiba with Sakura."

"Hey!" said Kurenai.  "I want the smart girl!  Now I have all guys on my team!"

"And I have two girls!" said Asuma.  "I don't want two girls!  That's lame!"

"You can have my girl, Kurenai." Said Kakashi.

"Okay!" said Kurenai.  "Um…which one is it?"

"The Hyuuga." Kakashi asked.

"Okay then." Said Kurenai.  "Do you want…Shikamaru or Kiba?  I'm keeping Shino so don't even try."

"Kiba I guess." Said Kakashi.  "I don't need the two worst in the class on my team even if I DO have the best."

"I don't know if you want to have Kiba and Naruto on the same team." Advised Iruka.  "Especially with Sasuke on that team too.  He'd probably kill them if you don't kill them first."

Kakashi sighed.  "Fine, I'll take Shikamaru." He said.  As long as he had Sasuke, he didn't really care.

"Wait, I still have two girls on my team!" complained Asuma.  "And my team is so unpowerful!"

"Then you can take Shikamaru or Naruto and I'll take Ino." Kakashi said.

"No, Ino's my keeper!" said Asuma.

"Besides, if you have Sasuke you HAVE to have Naruto." Said Iruka.  "We've already been through this."

"So I have to trade the smart girl…" said Asuma.  "But if I trade her for Shikamaru then I won't have any brains on my team anymore!"

"No, Ino's smart, remember?" said Iruka.  "Besides, Shikamaru and Chouji are friends so maybe it would be better if they were on the same team.  Actually, come to think of it, Shikamaru, Chouji and Ino's dads were on the same team back in the academy…"

"I don't care!" said Asuma.  "I don't want to have a pathetic team just because they're parents are on the same team!"

"Well now I HAVE to put them on the same team." Said Iruka, ignoring Asuma and writing down the NEW team names.

"I don't want Shikamaru!!" Asuma yelled, throwing a temper tantrum.

"So the teams stand as thus." Said Iruka.  "Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto on Kakashi's team.  Shino, Kiba and Hinata on Kurenai's team.  Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji on Asuma's team."

"It's not fair…" cried Asuma.

"I'm happy." Said Kakashi with a shrug.  As we said before, as long as he had Sasuke he would be happy.

"I'm indifferent as usual!" said Kurenai.

"And I'm finally rid of all of them." Said Iruka with a sigh of relief.