While My Guitar Gently Weeps

I don't know how you were diverted

You were perverted too

I don't know how you were inverted

No one alerted you.

Vala pushed Lupin away. "Remus!" she screeched. "I'm married!" She stood upright, rubbing the crease lines across her forehead. "And that's not even half of it! We're like, like--" her hand clasped over her mouth as well. "Holy--Merlin's Beard!"

For a weary minute he thought his cover was blown, but then--

"How long have you had these feelings for me?" she asked shakily, lowering her hand from her lips.

"Er…" he grabbed the crystal and made a run for it. The door slammed behind him.

Vala stood aghast, trembling on the spot. "He's, he's… oh my god!"

~+~+~+~

"Sweet mercy," Fae mumbled.

"What's going on?" Grant inquired, poking his head in.

"I, I," she waved her hands excitably. "I can't--eeeww…!" she cringed and bounced. "Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew!" she repeated in a frenzy.

"Woah," Grant stepped in, "What did you see?"

She covered her mouth, staring wild-eyed at him. "I just saw Remus kissing Vala!" She squeezed her eyes shut. "And there was tongue!"

~+~+~+~

Lupin hastened along the busy Muggle street. Paranoia worked in him like twine in an Easter basket. The crystal was tucked safely inside his cloak, and ducking into a deserted alley he was only half a mile from home. Home. Ha. Had he already started calling the empty room over a Muggle pub home? Amazing. Lupins certainly were a breed of their own. He shook his head, and quickened his stride.

~+~+~+~

"He left in a hurry," Bonnie commented quietly.

Clyde nodded.

"Think it means anything?" she asked, her gray eyes tilting to him.

Turning his head to watch the vacant front yard, he shrugged. Glancing at her, he tapped the side of his nose.

"Yes, yes, I know…" she said wearily, "We're watching out for Black not Lupin." She directed her stare back to the front yard. "That doesn't mean I trust him anymore."

He reached inside his breast pocket, pulled out a small notepad and quill. He licked the quill, scribbled something across the pad, and handed it to her.

"'I thought you liked Black,'" she read aloud. "Yeah…" she said distantly, "But things were different then."

He nodded understandingly, looking away.

After a minute of reminiscence, "Who's taking post after us?"

Clyde smiled and touched first the brim of his hat then the heel of his shoe.

"Oh," she rolled her eyes. "The Kid."

He nodded, smirk in place.

"And after him?"

The smirk grew. His eyes, half-lidded, rolled to her.

"Let me guess--Bob and Charlie."

He had to blink the tears away as he nodded.

"You're horrible," she scorned, though her lips were twitching.

Clyde wiped at his eyes, then stiffened.

"What is-"

He held up a finger, and glanced around. A soft smile crossed his lips.

An American Foxhound leapt between two small bushes and barked.

"Time's up already?" Bonnie asked, reaching inside Clyde's breast pocket and retrieving a golden pocket watch on a chain; it was amazing the things you encountered in Clyde's pockets, but amazingly so, you always found what you were looking for on first grabs. Bonnie had asked him about it before, but after an hour of failed attempts of answering the question they'd both given up in frustration. Now, if questioned about his pockets, he simply shrugged his shoulders and suggested witchcraft. "Guess so," she said, dropping the watch in Clyde's hands, who slid it into his hip pocket.

Billy sat back on his haunches. He jerked his head towards the house.

"Nothing's really happened," Bonnie answered, accustomed to silent communication. "That Lupin fellow left about an hour ago, and Vala's been in there since… Then he showed up again, was inside for a fair ten minutes and nipped out again with something clasped in his hands."

Billy tilted his head to one side.

"Judging how he was holding it, I'd say it was delicate… Of course, he was running so I could be well off."

Clyde nodded in agreement.

"I'm off or it was delicate?"

He held up two fingers, indicating the second option.

Billy sniffed the air. If dogs could frown, this one was certainly frowning.

Clyde tilted his head to one side.

The dog whined twice, Clyde nodded slowly and pensively.

"Sorry, did I miss something?"

The dog's muzzle began to retract as the fur thinned and shortened. The fur on top his head grew and fell around his ears in a mess of blonde curls. His shoulders hunched forward and his shoulder blades slid back. His paws grew and separated as digits were established, the ears lowered and shortened; though they still held that permanent perky and curious pose.

Bonnie smiled at the crouching figure. "Forget your spurs?"

Billy took the mocking with grace, and bent his elbows on his knees.

Clyde tilted his head curiously, watching the Kid's every movement.

Nobody knew quite why, but Billy fascinated Clyde. He was transfixed by everything the Kid did, and it was just as well because the Kid admired Clyde. The secret was, they understood each other. Being an Animagus, Billy was the only one who knew the sorrows of a mute. Luckily, there were other ways of communication. Body language, even for a dog. And as a mute, Clyde knew the sorrows of being underestimated. They were respected by several of their peers, but there was a certain amount of understanding between the two that no one could quite grip. And so, in silence, they were great friends.

"I was saying," Billy said at length, "That it seemed two, and not one, men have visited the flat."

"Two?" her brow furrowed. "But," she turned to stare at the house, "We only saw Remus."

He shrugged. "I'm only telling you what I smelled."

"Well, couldn't you follow one of the trails?" she asked, sounding slightly uneasy and desperate.

"I could," he said, "But what would be the point?" He waved a hand, "Forget I mentioned it." A bit restless, he picked up a stick and examined it. "'Sides, Clyde here says he'll bring it up with Na-"

"Shh! Someone could be listening!"

He lowered the stick. "Yes, I suppose they could," he grinned. "But they'd have a trip covering their trail."

Clyde tapped his nose.

"That's right, buddy," Billy approved, "Foxhounds are great at following scents."

Bonnie tsked. "We don't use these ridiculous code names for fun, you know," she muttered.

"No, I suspect you use yours because you're embarrassed of your real name, Isa-"

She waved a finger under his nose, "Don't you even dare!"

"Come now, it's a beautiful name!"

"It's a horrible name," she scowled, folded her arms against her chest and looking away. "What fools my parents must have been…" and now she seemed to be talking to herself. "A ridiculous first name and an even worse middle name, what they were thinking…"

Billy perked. "Middle name? Now I've never heard that."

"Oh no, as if I'll tell you that!" she snapped moodily.

"Aw come on, I won't tell anyone. Besides, it can't possibly be worse than my middle name," he shuddered.

"Somehow I doubt that," she said darkly, her eyes downcast.

He caught a glance at Clyde, who shrugged.

"Well," he clapped his hands. "You two ought to leave. Any idea who has next watch?"

Clyde silently coughed into his fist, a suspicious action in itself.

"Bob and Charlie Ford," Bonnie announced, standing and shaking the dust from her long gown; her outfits varied with her mood. Today she was feeling classy, but she suspected within another hour she'd slip into some bondage pants, a safety pinned top and buckled boots; she was beginning to feel irritated and reckless. Maybe she could escape to a bar later that day; she wasn't due for another shift until the next evening.

"What?" Billy was in a state of shock. "They're keeping watch after me? What are the James thinking?" He threw up his hands in exasperation. "Yes, lovely! Throw it to the dogs!"

Bonnie motioned for Clyde. "Loved to stay, but we have business elsewhere."

Billy fell back against a tree and huffed in irritation.

"Get in contact if anything goes wrong, or something fishy is stirring up."

"Yeah, yeah…"

She patted his head. "Good doggy. Now take care." Hooking arms, the couple vanished with a faint POP.

Billy crossed his leg over the other, and glared through the trees at the house.

"Bloody Fords," he cursed.

~+~+~+~

Vala anxiously shoved her shoes on, grabbed her wand, and hurried from the flat. Running a hand through her hair, she streamed down the walkway and unto the road. When a particularly unpleasant thought entered her mind, she shook her head. Her hands trembled feverishly as she entered the woods, and in her haste, half-galloped down the well-known path.

In her hysterics she failed to notice the foxhound traveling at a distance.

~+~+~+~

Billy yawned and lied down. Vala had been inside the Malfoy Manor for several hours and he had late afternoon shift. The Fords weren't due to arrival until sundown. Pawing the ground a bit, he sighed. Drawing himself up, he looked over his shoulder. He stared at the enormous dog, even more bear like in his current condition.

A series of barks and growls followed. You've been on my tail all afternoon, what's the deal?

The dog trotted alongside the foxhound and sat back on his haunches. I intended on asking you a similar question.

It never was easy to fool another Animagus. And luckily, as dogs, they had a way of communication.

That's my own business, Billy replied, watching the manor stubbornly.

The dog tilted its head back and peered at the manor. Did you smell that on her?

Yes, Billy answered, staring at the house.

Fear's thick in the air… I suspect she'll be distancing herself from Remus. And the black dog stood and turned his heels on the scene.

I suspect we'll meet again, Billy predicted, Sirius Black.

(A/N: Figures my favorite Beatles songs are written by George Harrison, bless his soul. You know, I'm taking a liking to Billy. Even if he is a little high-strung from time to time. Gives him character. +smirks+ Ah yes, I nearly forgot. Starting chapter 30 I am renaming the title of this fan fic because… let's face it, this one is horrible and lame and I only intended for it to a be substitute only I thought of a better one. I hope you like the new one, though I'll admit myself that anything would be an improvement to the last. Even--"Snuffing Pixie Sticks Sucks 'Cause Your Bogeys Get Sticky" or "Eating A Whole Bag of Starburst Might Sound Good At the Time, But the After Effects Are Not Fun" --to which Ren can testify.)