Disclaimer: Duh.
*~*~*~*~*
Dealer's Choice
Chapter 2 : Speed
*~*~*~*~*
"I'M NOT DOING IT!!" The door slammed.
"Inuyasha!" His mother tapped delicately on the now closed door, "You're being childish. Now, come out of there and let's talk about this!"
"There's nothing to talk about!"
"I'm sure he means well-"
"Means WELL? You think he means WELL?!? Ma, the man left home when I was FIVE! Then, now, years later, I get a package in the mail that says that I'm married to some woman he won in a POKER GAME, and, OH, he's SORRY he never kept in CONTACT with me, here's fifty bucks to make up for all the BIRTHDAY CARDS he never SENT!! And you say he means WELL?!?" He roared.
"Don't use that tone with me, young man! Now come out of there this instant!" She waited expectantly.
Slowly the door opened, and Inuyasha came out sheepishly. He crossed his arms.
"Feh."
"That's better. Now, we'll go downstairs and have a nice long discussion with a piece of cake. I don't feel like bickering with you in the hallway, and I know that you've been eyeing the cake sitting on the kitchen counter hungrily for quite some time now."
"Fine."
*~*~*~*~*
Recliners are comfortable. It is led to believe in many social circles that somewhere out in the great wide universe, a law was passed requiring recliners to be at their peak in comfort and supportive existence. So, naturally, after the "discussion" Inuyasha flopped into the tired, old, broken-in recliner that was situated in front of a television in the den. Unfortunately, the poor chair did not meet up to his standards and expectations. Example being the ability to swallow him whole and deposit him in an entirely new dimension so he didn't have to deal with whatever crap his father saddled him with this time.
He settled for grabbing the remote and channel surfing viciously. If you can call giving the shows in question motion sickness because of hitting buttons so fast.
The conversation with his mother did not carry well. It basically consisted of his constant protesting, her motherly persuasion, more protests, until she finally took matters into her own hands and packed a duffel for him, informing him that she would take care of hiring a moving company to pick up the rest of his belongings. So now here he was, sulking and making images fly past his eyes so quickly it was all a blur, as a tiny woman packed his things, gung-ho to carry out with her missing husband's wishes. It was all his father's fault, anyway. It was his fault for everything.
Dammit.
Rugrats melded into The Naked Chef melded into Changing Spaces melded into Family Matters melded into Smurfs.
Why, of all people, did he have to be the one with a father who seems to have handed him hell on a platter?
Smurfs transformed into Power Rangers melted into Nova changed to the News switched into Martha Stewart Living turned into Invader Zim. He left it.
"I'm gonna sing the Doom Song!"
'Yes.' Inuyasha thought, uncharacteristically. 'Sing the song of my life, you dog-bot freak thing.'
Now, I know what most of you are thinking. But it's okay. He's distraught. Allow him a little out-of-characterness.
It was just as he said before. That his rat-bastard of a father of his disappeared. Leaving him and his mother alone. Genetics and all.
He flipped the channel once again. It landed on Labyrinth.
"Such a pity." Jareth remarked.
Inuyasha scowled again. Stupid coincidence. Kicking in just as he was in the swing of feeling bad for himself. Gah. A strand of milky white hair drifted in front of his eyes. He brushed it aside, aggravation building.
However, all of his carefully constructed sulking composure was stripped from him as a nice little old lady entering the room, turning off the television manually, grabbing him by an ear, dragging him out to his truck and shoving him in.
"We have to get to your new place before dark. I can't WAIT to meet your new wife!! I'll be following you to make sure you don't try to go to one of your little friend's houses. Here's the address," She shoved a piece of torn notebook paper into his hands, and he studied it as she retreated into her own car. He started the truck and backed out of the driveway, carrying out his mother's wishes like a dutiful son. Of course, one always knows that what is seen on the outside doesn't necessarily mean that it resides on the inside, too.
'Stupid, mucking, snaggart, fornemul, cratchmu...'
*~*~*~*~*
'Where is this place?!'
Inuyasha was getting irritated. It seemed that the bloody house was on an entirely different planet! In his rearview mirror, he watched his tailgating mother sing along to the radio. From what he could lip-read, it must have been 'Footloose.' Feh. He hated that song.
And lo! his deliverer arrived! In the form of a cheesy ring tone to the tune of 'Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' that was now emanating from his cell phone. Feh. Shippo must have reprogrammed it the last time he was over, the little troublemaker.
Signaling, he pulled to the edge of the road, irate mother close behind. As he fumbled for the elusive phone, his mother got out of her car and approached his. She tapped on the window, and he rolled it down, phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Yash! Buddy! Pal!"
He rolled his eyes, "Whaddaya want Miroku?" Then he placed his hand over the phone so he could speak to his mother, "Go on ahead. I'll catch up."
"You better. Or you'll have to explain yourself to me!"
"Yes, ma. WHAT?" He missed what Miroku just said.
"I SAID what are you doing tonight? I got a lead on a possible double date!"
The maroon Grand Marquis pulled away and disappeared into the highway horizon.
"No can do. I get to meet some chick."
"Ah. Since when did you actively enter the dating scene?"
"I didn't. We're married."
"WHAT?!? When did you tie the knot?"
"I didn't."
"But-"
"Don't ask. It's a long story and I don't have the patience to tell you."
"Okay, but I expect an explicit description of the honeymoon. Wedding night preferably."
"Shaddup." Click.
And there he sat. Watching cars go by, floundering in self-pity, and still processing the fact that he was now a married man. Well, he'd better get going if he didn't want his mother to tan his hide.
Wait a sec.
His mother wasn't following him anymore.
No one knows where he is.
He could just...
...leave.
...
RHODE ISLAND HERE HE COMES!!!!
To an innocent or not-so-innocent bystander, it would've seemed that the driver of the nice forest green pickup truck had lost his grip on sanity. Thus, with a roaring engine and maniacal laughter erupting from the open window, the truck peeled off the side of the road with screeching tires, pulled a u-turn and sped off in the opposite direction of where he was originally heading.
Little did he know of the unknown eyes that watched his every move and followed his explosive departure. It's mysterious presence was brought to Inuyasha's attention by the sound of a siren, and some flashing red and blue lights that blinked in his rearview mirror. Muttering curses, he pulled over. Again.
The cop followed suit and got out of the car, calmly approaching the driver's window. Inuyasha looked at the officer and scowled.
The recipient of the scowl grinned, "Hello."
"God dammit, Myoga! What the hell do you want, you bastard?"
Myoga grinned harder, "I'm under the direction of your mother to make sure that you get to this address." He held up a piece of paper with what Inuyasha identified as his mother's handwriting scrawled across it.
"When the hell did you talk to her?"
"When you were on the phone. Now I'm afraid you'll have to turn around, or I'll be forced to ticket you."
"FOR WHAT?!?"
"I'm not sure, but I'll think of something."
"Bastard."
*~*~*~*~*
Inuyasha grumbled as he pulled into his new driveway and parked. He jumped out of the vehicle and walked over to where his mother was waiting for him diligently. Shows how much faith she had. She waved at the cop car that drove past.
"Now isn't this lovely?" She exclaimed, eyeing the house appreciatively, "I'm sure the inside is even better!"
"Says the wolf as he views his prey," Inuyasha muttered under his breath, opening the front door for the older woman. He gazed longingly at his truck before shaking his head and entering his new home after her, closing the door quietly.
Welcome to hell, boys.
*~*~*~*~*
A/N: No I didn't die. Sorry that I didn't get the chap up sooner, I was held captive on a family vacation. *shudder* Hopefully, things'll turn out a little sooner with posting. Until next time!
~ Shi no Miko ~
Dealer's Choice
Chapter 2 : Speed
"I'M NOT DOING IT!!" The door slammed.
"Inuyasha!" His mother tapped delicately on the now closed door, "You're being childish. Now, come out of there and let's talk about this!"
"There's nothing to talk about!"
"I'm sure he means well-"
"Means WELL? You think he means WELL?!? Ma, the man left home when I was FIVE! Then, now, years later, I get a package in the mail that says that I'm married to some woman he won in a POKER GAME, and, OH, he's SORRY he never kept in CONTACT with me, here's fifty bucks to make up for all the BIRTHDAY CARDS he never SENT!! And you say he means WELL?!?" He roared.
"Don't use that tone with me, young man! Now come out of there this instant!" She waited expectantly.
Slowly the door opened, and Inuyasha came out sheepishly. He crossed his arms.
"Feh."
"That's better. Now, we'll go downstairs and have a nice long discussion with a piece of cake. I don't feel like bickering with you in the hallway, and I know that you've been eyeing the cake sitting on the kitchen counter hungrily for quite some time now."
"Fine."
Recliners are comfortable. It is led to believe in many social circles that somewhere out in the great wide universe, a law was passed requiring recliners to be at their peak in comfort and supportive existence. So, naturally, after the "discussion" Inuyasha flopped into the tired, old, broken-in recliner that was situated in front of a television in the den. Unfortunately, the poor chair did not meet up to his standards and expectations. Example being the ability to swallow him whole and deposit him in an entirely new dimension so he didn't have to deal with whatever crap his father saddled him with this time.
He settled for grabbing the remote and channel surfing viciously. If you can call giving the shows in question motion sickness because of hitting buttons so fast.
The conversation with his mother did not carry well. It basically consisted of his constant protesting, her motherly persuasion, more protests, until she finally took matters into her own hands and packed a duffel for him, informing him that she would take care of hiring a moving company to pick up the rest of his belongings. So now here he was, sulking and making images fly past his eyes so quickly it was all a blur, as a tiny woman packed his things, gung-ho to carry out with her missing husband's wishes. It was all his father's fault, anyway. It was his fault for everything.
Dammit.
Rugrats melded into The Naked Chef melded into Changing Spaces melded into Family Matters melded into Smurfs.
Why, of all people, did he have to be the one with a father who seems to have handed him hell on a platter?
Smurfs transformed into Power Rangers melted into Nova changed to the News switched into Martha Stewart Living turned into Invader Zim. He left it.
"I'm gonna sing the Doom Song!"
'Yes.' Inuyasha thought, uncharacteristically. 'Sing the song of my life, you dog-bot freak thing.'
Now, I know what most of you are thinking. But it's okay. He's distraught. Allow him a little out-of-characterness.
It was just as he said before. That his rat-bastard of a father of his disappeared. Leaving him and his mother alone. Genetics and all.
He flipped the channel once again. It landed on Labyrinth.
"Such a pity." Jareth remarked.
Inuyasha scowled again. Stupid coincidence. Kicking in just as he was in the swing of feeling bad for himself. Gah. A strand of milky white hair drifted in front of his eyes. He brushed it aside, aggravation building.
However, all of his carefully constructed sulking composure was stripped from him as a nice little old lady entering the room, turning off the television manually, grabbing him by an ear, dragging him out to his truck and shoving him in.
"We have to get to your new place before dark. I can't WAIT to meet your new wife!! I'll be following you to make sure you don't try to go to one of your little friend's houses. Here's the address," She shoved a piece of torn notebook paper into his hands, and he studied it as she retreated into her own car. He started the truck and backed out of the driveway, carrying out his mother's wishes like a dutiful son. Of course, one always knows that what is seen on the outside doesn't necessarily mean that it resides on the inside, too.
'Stupid, mucking, snaggart, fornemul, cratchmu...'
'Where is this place?!'
Inuyasha was getting irritated. It seemed that the bloody house was on an entirely different planet! In his rearview mirror, he watched his tailgating mother sing along to the radio. From what he could lip-read, it must have been 'Footloose.' Feh. He hated that song.
And lo! his deliverer arrived! In the form of a cheesy ring tone to the tune of 'Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini' that was now emanating from his cell phone. Feh. Shippo must have reprogrammed it the last time he was over, the little troublemaker.
Signaling, he pulled to the edge of the road, irate mother close behind. As he fumbled for the elusive phone, his mother got out of her car and approached his. She tapped on the window, and he rolled it down, phone to his ear.
"Hello?"
"Yash! Buddy! Pal!"
He rolled his eyes, "Whaddaya want Miroku?" Then he placed his hand over the phone so he could speak to his mother, "Go on ahead. I'll catch up."
"You better. Or you'll have to explain yourself to me!"
"Yes, ma. WHAT?" He missed what Miroku just said.
"I SAID what are you doing tonight? I got a lead on a possible double date!"
The maroon Grand Marquis pulled away and disappeared into the highway horizon.
"No can do. I get to meet some chick."
"Ah. Since when did you actively enter the dating scene?"
"I didn't. We're married."
"WHAT?!? When did you tie the knot?"
"I didn't."
"But-"
"Don't ask. It's a long story and I don't have the patience to tell you."
"Okay, but I expect an explicit description of the honeymoon. Wedding night preferably."
"Shaddup." Click.
And there he sat. Watching cars go by, floundering in self-pity, and still processing the fact that he was now a married man. Well, he'd better get going if he didn't want his mother to tan his hide.
Wait a sec.
His mother wasn't following him anymore.
No one knows where he is.
He could just...
...leave.
...
RHODE ISLAND HERE HE COMES!!!!
To an innocent or not-so-innocent bystander, it would've seemed that the driver of the nice forest green pickup truck had lost his grip on sanity. Thus, with a roaring engine and maniacal laughter erupting from the open window, the truck peeled off the side of the road with screeching tires, pulled a u-turn and sped off in the opposite direction of where he was originally heading.
Little did he know of the unknown eyes that watched his every move and followed his explosive departure. It's mysterious presence was brought to Inuyasha's attention by the sound of a siren, and some flashing red and blue lights that blinked in his rearview mirror. Muttering curses, he pulled over. Again.
The cop followed suit and got out of the car, calmly approaching the driver's window. Inuyasha looked at the officer and scowled.
The recipient of the scowl grinned, "Hello."
"God dammit, Myoga! What the hell do you want, you bastard?"
Myoga grinned harder, "I'm under the direction of your mother to make sure that you get to this address." He held up a piece of paper with what Inuyasha identified as his mother's handwriting scrawled across it.
"When the hell did you talk to her?"
"When you were on the phone. Now I'm afraid you'll have to turn around, or I'll be forced to ticket you."
"FOR WHAT?!?"
"I'm not sure, but I'll think of something."
"Bastard."
Inuyasha grumbled as he pulled into his new driveway and parked. He jumped out of the vehicle and walked over to where his mother was waiting for him diligently. Shows how much faith she had. She waved at the cop car that drove past.
"Now isn't this lovely?" She exclaimed, eyeing the house appreciatively, "I'm sure the inside is even better!"
"Says the wolf as he views his prey," Inuyasha muttered under his breath, opening the front door for the older woman. He gazed longingly at his truck before shaking his head and entering his new home after her, closing the door quietly.
Welcome to hell, boys.
A/N: No I didn't die. Sorry that I didn't get the chap up sooner, I was held captive on a family vacation. *shudder* Hopefully, things'll turn out a little sooner with posting. Until next time!
~ Shi no Miko ~