Dealer's Choice
Chapter 3: Crazy Eights
*~*~*~*~*
Immediately after entering, and after much poking and prodding on his mother's behalf, Inuyasha began to explore the house. he heard music coming from one of the guestrooms and went to investigate. He found a very nice surprise...
A state-of-the-art entertainment system!!!
He was drawn to it like a moth to a flame. He just could not resist. It was just so... beautiful...
And so he stood before it, reveling in all of it's electronic glory before reaching out with a trembling hand and pressing a button, causing the currently playing radio to a CD. He recoiled, giggling wildly.
"I was listening to theat."
He blanched, realizing his major slip in control/etiquette, and turned to face his adversary.
A young woman was watching him from across the room with her hands planted on her hips. Her eyes were twinkling with amusement as he swallowed, fighting to regain his composure as the close proximity to the electronic god was making him giddy.
"H-hi..."
"Hi," she countered smoothly. Hey, she wasn't the one with her hand caught in the cookie jar now was she? "Who are you?"
He stuck out his hand, "Inuyasha. I don't think we've met." She shook his hand.
"No, I do believe we haven't. I'm Kagome Higurashi. It's nice to meet you."
Inuyasha nodded as she released his hand and turned back to her obvious unpacking, "So...are you going to set that up in the living room?" he asked hopefully.
"I wasn't planning on it. Why?"
"Well... you see..."
His mother chose this moment to enter the room and immediately laid eyes on the duo.
"You must be my son's new wife!" She exclaimed, bustling up to Kagome and hugging her tightly, "He's so lucky! You seem like a wonderful person; I'm sure we'll get along just splendidly!"
Meanwhile, Inuyasha was turning a lovely shade of burgundy as Kagome attempted to breath around the tiny woman's staggering grip, unable to keep up with her stream of chatter. Suddenly she was released, and her new mother-in-law began to retreat from the room.
"I should leave you to your nuptial bliss now. I'm sure that you'll want to get started right away, and you won't want to be disturbed."
The doomed couple stared blankly at each other for a moment...
...then realization hit...
...And Kagome scrambled after her mother-in-law with Inuyasha hot on her tail, not wanting to be left alone with the thought of what his mother was implying.
"Wait!" Kagome practically flew after the woman, skidding to halt in front of her and grabbing her hands, "Why don't you stay for dinner?" Her frantic grip tightened with the decline, "Tea, then? Anything?" Apparently the woman wasn't that well trained in the art of subliminal messages, or she just ignored them all, because she merely smiled and extracted herself from Kagome's death-grip.
"No, my dear. That's quite alright. But thank you for the offer. You two had better get started! I'm expecting lots of grandchildren!"
Kagome paled.
Inuyasha blushed.
And to add insult to injury, the doorbell rang.
"Look! Guests!" Inuyasha chirped, uncomfortable with the entire situation and incredibly tense, but nonetheless grateful for the distraction. he hurried to the door and swung it open, only to stare dumbfoundedly at their visitors. Souta, Kagome's mother, and Grandpa stared right back at him.
Suddenly, Kagome's mother burst into tears and threw herself into the man's arms.
"I'm so happy for you!" She sobbed, "Take good care of my baby!"
Inuyasha blanched, and held her awkwardly, patting her back in a stiff, mechanized manner. Souta held his spot in the doorway, ogling his new brother-in-law as Grandpa pushed his way past the hysterical woman and plopped a cake-box down on the kitchen table.
"Is that your real hair color?" Souta asked, in awe of all that made up the greatness that was Inuyasha. The object of his affections looked up from the still wailing woman in his arms.
"Huh? Oh... yeah."
"COOOLL!"
Inuyasha's shirt was getting wet, "I guess so."
"Are those contacts?"
"No... it's my real eye color..."
"AWESOME!!"
Meanwhile, everything was still registering in Kagome's mind, and she stood lifelessly, with her eyes glazed over. That is, of course, her mother appeared in front of her out of nowhere, leaving behind a dazed Inuyasha.
"Grandpa got you a cake, Kagome! Isn't that nice of him?"
Inuyasha's mother squealed, as scary as that may seem for the older woman,"That's so sweet! You must be her family! My name's Haruka, Inuyasha's mother."
Kagome's mother responded in like manner, bringing the Apocalypse to near launch by squealing and hugging Haruka, "I'm Aya, Kagome's mother. That's her grandfather, and her brother, Souta," She pointed them out, "I have the cutest baby pictures of Kagome! Here, let me show you!" She began to rummage through her purse, eagerly.
"MOM!"
Another knock on the door, adding to the chaos.
"I'LL GET IT!"
"SOUTA! NO!"
~Insert Slow Motion Clip~
Kagome turned from attempting to stop her mother from showing her baby pictures of doom to face the door. Souta was already sprinting to it, and she ran after him, vaulting over a couch. Unfortunately for her, she was unable to catch him, and only succeeded in tripping over a loose rug, and ending face flat on the floor. The door opened to reveal two women bearing casseroles.
~End Slow Motion Clip~
"Hello! May we come in?"
"Uh..." Souta looked first at his sister, who was twitching on the floor, and then to his mother, who motioned him to let them in, "...Sure."
The two scurried into the building, carefully stepping over Kagome's body and followed Souta into the kitchen. Kagome got up off the floor.
"Why me?" She lamented as she followed the group.
The women quickly placed their dishes on the table and turned to Inuyasha, who was standing near a doorway, waiting for a reason to bolt, and Kagome, who was just entering the room.
One of the women, who had her hair cut short and was wearing glasses, introduced herself, "My name is Rumiko. This," she motioned to her companion, who had her long hair pulled up into a ponytail, "Is Midoriko. We're your new neighbors!"
Then, all together...
"WELCOME TO THE NEIGHBORHOOD!!"
Inuyasha flinched at the volume as Kagome quickly reverted to her shock mode, eye twitching slightly.
CRAZIES! She was surrounded by CRAZIES! All she ever wanted to do was have a car, a nice little apartment, and maybe a cat. She had been THIS CLOSE until Grandpa had his way, but STILL! She didn't need overzealous neighbors like this! And what happened to her MOTHER?!? One minute she's worried for her, like a good, caring mother, and the next she's gung-ho about it working, and is showing her 'husband's mother pictures of her playing in the toilet! CRAZIES!! Kagome snuck a glance at Inuyasha.
He wasn't faring much better.
'Okay. I can handle this. I can handle this. I can... Who the hell am I kidding?' His eyes darted around the room, looking for a potential reason to leave. His eyes landed on a glass of water that was sitting on a counter. He began to inch towards the door.
"I.. Uh... I .uh. Have to go to the bathroom... BE RIGHT BACK!" He darted out of the room, sprinting down the hallway, vaulting into said bathroom and slamming the door behind him. Locking it securely.
Souta watched his exit with wide eyes, "Wow. He musta really had to go."
"INUYASHA!!" His mother was quick to follow him. Leaving Aya, Souta, and Grandpa, to converse with Rumiko and Midoriko. Kagome was busy trying to figure out why Inuyasha felt the need to run off like that. Besides the obvious.
"INUYASHA! NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BEHAVE LIKE THIS!"
"I DON'T CARE"
"IF YOU DON'T COME OUT OF THERE THIS SECOND, I'LL DRAG YOU OUT!"
"FINE!"
CRASH!
"AHHH! I'M COMING! I'M COMING!"
A few minutes later, Haruka triumphantly came back to the kitchen, a defeated Inuyasha trailing obediently behind her.
While all the drama was taking place, Grandpa had opened the cake-box and carefully removed a lurid orange cupcake. Next out of the box was a cheesy bride and groom statuette that he delicately balanced on the orange frosting. Last out of the box came an oversized butcher knife that glittered dangerously in the lighting. This came crashing down, ending the statuette and cupcake's short, little lives with one fell swoop.
The accompanying 'BANG!' caused everyone to jump, before the old man grabbed one of both Kagome and Inuyasha's hands, dragging them to the severed sweet, handing them each half.
Kagome stared blankly at the artificially colored mess in her hands, then looked to her mother, "I thought you said he got a cake."
Her mother shrugged, "Slight mistake. Go on."
"Go on, what?"
"Feed it to him, of course!"
Kagome blanched and grimaced at the orange goop plastered to her fingers. Inuyasha had thankfully missed the exchange by being preoccupied with sniffing, then poking at the cupcake, determining if it was even edible.
Kagome sighed and raised her hand up to Inuyasha. He gave her a funny look. She motioned again. He shook his head. She did it again. He shook his-
"Would you two hurry up already?"
This resulted in a double-whammy Glare O' Death from the couple.
"Do you want to do this, Souta?" Kagome challenged.
"No. I'm just sick of staring at you two. I wanna go home!"
Kagome was about to retort when Inuyasha took advantage of the distraction to loop his arm around hers, enabling him to eat his own cupcake. At first, she was confused. Then she understood and followed suit. Swallowing, her face turned a sickly shade of green.
"That was so DARLING!!" All the older women in the room exclaimed collectively, then rushed the two to give them their congratulations and to wish them luck.
Inuyasha and Kagome looked at each other as excitement coursed through their guests. Their thoughts became one.
'Oh, hell...'
Thus was the beginning of a beaUTIFUL relationship.
... We hope ...
A/N: I have the ever so annoying urge to justify myself. Huh. Therefore, I might as well do a couple shout-outs, ne?
yosei/amber eyes: Nooooo! You have cracked the evil code!! *cries* ....wait... You really want me to be that bland?
Ithilwen K-Bane: I plan on clearing that up in the fourth chapter... heh...
Bremusa: Yeah... yeah... The first chapter was really rushed. Just like the rest of the fic probably will be. I like to think that it adds to the feeling of confusion and hopeless. I mean, things were happening so fast, Kagome didn't get to even think!
Renangel: ...I think you have me confused with someone else...
Any who, not that that's all over, stay tuned for the next chapter of Dealer's Choice : Slapjack!