Desperately Wanting

Kick them right in the face
Make them wish they weren't born
And if they bring up your name
Well they'll say you won the war.
Baby burst in the world
Never given a chance
Then they ask what went wrong
When you never had it right

"Morning, dear."

Vala stirred. Her eyes fluttered, and beheld the image of Saxon. Not just Saxon, but Saxon carrying a large wooden plank. She pulled herself upright and began rubbing her eyes.

"After your fright last night I thought a breakfast in bed was in order." A smile slipped through as he lowered the tray over her lap.

She rubbed one eye with the palm of her hand and stared at the meal with the other. The bread was toasted golden, the eggs a charming yellow and the bacon a crisp brown; it still sizzled lightly. "You made this?" she asked, sleep disappearing like a milk shake given to a hungry child.

"Oh yes," he answered brightly. The light faltered. "Well, the toast anyhow… I attempted eggs, but after five tries and six ruined pans Goin took over."

"Five tries and six ruined pans?" she asked, an eyebrow raising.

"Apparently you can't use ammonia to clean burnt eggs off a Teflon pan…"

"Why would you use ammonia?" she asked slowly.

"It was in the cupboard?" he guessed.

"Right… Um, it looks very delicious."

"Thanks," he replied with a smile.

She lifted the fork with a hesitant hand, and skewered some eggs. Raising it to her lips, she sniffed, then took the plunge. "Mmm," she nodded approvingly. "Very good."

He smiled sheepishly, and after a few more bites his brow began to wrinkle.

"What's up?" she asked curiously, holding a hand up to cover her mouth.

"Did you know you can't put a grease fire out with water?"

~+~+~+~

Back at Remus', Grant was slowly drawing around to consciousness. He kicked.

"Ow!" Fae answered sharply.

He glanced around, then down at his feet. "Oh… Sorry, love."

She stared at him groggily; Fae had never been much of a morning person. Grumbling, she buried her head in the sheets.

"Uh… Fae? Hate to bother you, but I can't get up with you lying on my legs."

She considered it for one split, tired moment. "Tough," she decided, burying herself deeper. She reconsidered. "Actually…" she moved to let Grant out, then spread across the couch on her stomach. "I could do with a back rub."

"Aww… but I'm hungry, mommy," he pouted.

She looked up at him, her eyes large and pleading. "Please? I'll make you pancakes."

"Chips or nothing," he negotiated.

"Deal."

He climbed onto the couch and straddled himself on her butt; it was never the most charming position, but it was certainly the most effective. He began to work on her shoulders.

"Mmm… Oooh, yeah, right there," she mumbled pleasantly, closing her eyes.

"Fae?"

Her eyebrows drew. "Why does everyone expect me to know everything," she grumbled, in spite of herself.

"Er… You're a Seer?"

"Really." She didn't seem impressed.

"Yes, and you're also demanding."

She twisted her torso around. "What's that have to do with anything?"

Grant pulled his hands back. Fae was a character of many resources and when she was provoked, she fought. Nails, teeth, and wand… You keep your distance and you might have a chance. "Well… I sure didn't tell Remus to go to Vala."

She regarded him for a moment then turned back in place. Grant lowered his hands to her shoulders. "Yes, and?"

"I was going to ask you why he had to talk to her. You are, after all, the one who demanded he did."

"Do you really want to know?"

He took a minute to think; it was a life or death decision and he didn't want to choose wrongly. She sounded pleasant enough. But then, sometimes that was more dangerous. Oh, Fae was a tricky one.

At length, she sighed. "How about I just tell you."

"Okay." That seemed safe enough; it wasn't an eager demand or a reluctant agreement.

"First, Remus has an identical twin brother…" and she told him the entire story, occasionally pausing to remind him to keep massaging.

"He tried to kill her?" he said, aghast.

"That's what I gathered, but I wasn't about to tell Remus that. It is his brother…"

"So? He tried to kill Vala!"

"Yes, but there's a certain amount of pride between siblings. Even ones like Romulus and Remus."

"But he tried to kill her!" he replied, thrice and counting.

Fae sighed; sometimes there was no getting through to Grant. With some effort, she turned under him. "Let's pretend for one moment that you have a brother," she said.

"What's his name?"

"I don't know, he's make believe!"

"Well, if I'm to have a brother, he ought to have name," he said stubbornly. "He can't go through life nameless."

"You're impossible--okay, fine… His name is Gene."

"Gene? What kind of name is that?"

"How should I know? Your parents named him," she replied, her maturity level lowering to his.

"How about Havelock?" he suggested, quite seriously.

"Havelock? What is that?" she laughed.

His eyes, a lively olive, dipped a shade. "I rather hoped our first born son would be named Havelock," he replied quietly, looking hurt.

She was taken aback; kids hadn't been on her agenda. Figures, she was the Seer, but Grant was the only one considering the future. Her actions quickly rose to her mind, and she felt a pang of guilt. "Ooh… I'm sorry," she said sincerely, touching his arm. "It's a lovely name."

His arms, which had been loosely folded at his abdomen, unbent and fell to his thighs. He brightened. "So you like it?"

"Yes," she pulled one of his hands into hers. "I love it."

He set his other hand on top of hers.

A reflective moment spent gazing into each other's eyes came and went.

Eventually, he patted her hands and said, "Where were we?"

Her features were blank. "I forget," she admitted at length.

"Oh well, you were probably right." he replied, setting his hands down on either side of her and straightening out his legs. Carefully, he lowered himself and rest his head on her chest. Instinctively, she placed a hand on the side of his head, smoothing back his hair and kissing his forehead. "You're always right," he whispered, closing his eyes.

"Not always."

"Always… but I don't mind. I never mind."

~+~+~+~

"Is Vala in?"

The door-servant surveyed Remus for a moment. "You're her uncle?"

Remus wasn't about to argue. "Yes, I need to speak with her."

"Come right in, sssir."

"Thanks." He stepped under the doorway, and let his eyes adjust from the sunny outdoors to the shadowy hallway.

"Uncle Remus! How pleasant for you to visit us!"

Remus directed his eyes to the source, but sunspots still played across his vision. He didn't have to see clearly to recognize the voice. In fact, he might not have believed his eyes. "Saxon," he greeted. "I daresay it's been awhile."

"Yes," he said pleasantly. "And how have you been carrying on?"

"Well, thank you. And Vala?"

"She's been well…" he stepped closer, his features attempting fellowship, but failing. "She was attacked by a dog late last night--Lucky, I was there to safe the poor dear. I daresay he might have gone for the throat if I hadn't shown up in time."

"How very… convenient." Remus was a considerate enough man. He respected half-breeds and understood werewolves. He wasn't quick to snub or disregard. But he simply did not trust Saxon. Regardless, he'd kept Vala safe for thirteen years, and that was enough to keep him at bay. "Speaking of which, may I have a word with her? I have a few items on my mind." The spots were decreasing.

"Is that so… Well," he stole a glance at the staircase. "I was just with her, and I'm, not sure if she's up to it. I hate to turn you away, but with Vala's best intentions at--"

"Saxon?"

Both turned to the staircase, Saxon much quicker than his opponent.

"Vala!" he strode to the railing. "Are you sure you should be up?"

"I…" she blinked. "Remus? What are you doing here?"

He stepped to the edge of the stairs. "It's time we talked."

~+~+~+~

"We won't be disturbed in here," Vala said, closing the doors to the drawing room. "The house elves are only in here in the early hours of the morning. Holding her hands at the base of her ribcage, she turned to face him. She looked at him expectantly.

"Maybe you should sit down," he offered, wringing his hands slightly.

She could feel the nerves flowing from him. Emotionless, she strode to the window. Too many things had happened in too little of time. She didn't know how to respond to Saxon's turned around attitude or Remus' spin around actions. Had he tried to kill her? Surely not. If so, let him take me, she thought, closing her eyes painfully. I did it for you, don't make me regret it.

"He's back," he said.

She opened her eyes, but still found it too hard to face him. Silently, she watched the gardeners weed the flowerbeds and spray the grounds. When Remus didn't emphasize, she bit. "Who's back?"

He stepped forward, not too much closer, but enough to be noted. "I don't know how to tell you this…" he began, struggling slightly over his words.

She spun on her heels, and threw her arms back to the window-ledge. She leaned back. "Say it then," she said. "I'm not a child anymore. You don't have to protect me."

He took a step back. "Fae told me I-"

"What has she got to do with this?" she snapped, pushing herself from the windowsill and moving in.

"Do you remember when I kissed you?"

Her eyes widened and she dropped back. She bent her neck and shielded her eyes as she turned away. Her back facing him and her arms crossed tightly across her fragile chest, a huff crawled up her as a deep blush spread across her cheeks.

"That wasn't me, Vala. I never kissed you." He bowed his head in embarrassment. "It was Romulus. He's been posing as me."

Slowly, she swiveled to look at him, her arms lowering to her sides and her eyes squinting. Her back arched forward a bit. "Romulus?" she repeated weakly.

"Yes, my brother."

"I know who he is…"

Their eyes locked.

"Oh, Remus," she cried, falling forward and catching him in a hug. "I'm sorry. Oh Merlin am I sorry," she quivered, crying into his shoulder. "I knew it wasn't you. I just knew it wasn't… I'm so sorry."

Remus held her, patting her comfortingly. In general, Remus wasn't very good with emotions. He could never handle other's strong emotions or even express his own. But comforting Vala came naturally… A part of it was awkward, a part that seemed like an older sibling, but that was the same part that made it so easy to deal with it. He'd never felt like that before--where everything and nothing was in his reach.

"Vala…"

"Yes?" she sniffled, calming again.

"Saxon mentioned a dog…"

"Yes, a big black one."

"He said it tried to kill you," he continued, slowly beating around the bush.

"It didn't," she replied, pulling back. "It saved my life."

"Really?" He looked shocked, though he wasn't in the least.

"Yes," she sniffed, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand. "Romulus aimed a curse at me, but the dog pushed me out of the way. I got pretty dirty, but there's not a scratch on me."

"So it saved your life," he summed up.

"Yes, Saxon was wrong about the dog, but I do believe he saved my life as well."

"Oh?" he kept his thoughts to himself.

"Yeah, the dogs scared Romulus, but I think he would have finished the job off had Saxon not arrived."

~+~+~+~

Romulus only hesitated for a moment. He breathed deeply and turned the doorknob. "Ares," he greeted confidently.

But Ares did not look up immediately. He sat with his fingers steepled and his head bent forward. Slowly, his eyes titled upward. "Take a seat."

Against his better judgement, he did.

He straightened the parchment on his desk. "What have you got to say for yourself?"

Romulus received a flashback of his past; one involving a broken lamp and his mother standing sternly over him with a frown and hands placed on her hips. He blinked. "I can do better?"

"I should hope so."

"It was the dog--I wasn't prepared for a dog," he explained.

"And why is that?"

"Because you didn't tell me about a dog."

Ares looked taken aback.

The tension was now raising to unbelievable heights.

Romulus stood. "I will take care of the girl, you take care of my expenses. Now if you don't mind, I have more pressing matters at hand." And bowed out the door.

"Yes," Ares said coolly, seemingly to himself. "I can see your hands are quite dirty--and getting dirtier by the day."

(A/N: Sorry for the hold-up… Ren's birthday was the 8th, and I spent the night over at her house… Then I spent all last night writing this chapter and all tonight writing the next chapter. I would have posted this one yesterday, but I like to stay a chapter ahead in case I need to change anything.)