Hardest Thing

Chapter Five

Hermione sat at her window, hugging her knees to her chest. She was livid. The impertinent wretch! He'd scared her half to death twice and then he'd kissed her expertly three times. What made her even angrier was the fact that she'd enjoyed it! Hermione berated herself furiously for leaning into him like she had. She was positive that he'd noticed; the self-satisfied smirk on his face when he'd let go of her was enough to tell her that.

But why did it have to be Malfoy? The only boy at school who had always made fun of her mercilessly, insulting her at every opportunity, making a bet about whether or not he could kiss her. He certainly won that one, Hermione thought wretchedly. He didn't feel anything for her, she was sure. He was just using her to get what he wanted. Malfoy had always represented everything Hermione was dead-set against, except of course for that one night on the Astronomy Tower. Maybe that was when her true feelings had begun to surface, with that fateful phrase: I think you're brilliant.

Hermione swallowed miserably as tears welled in her eyes, threatening to spill over. No! she thought fiercely. I won't cry over him. I've done that enough. This is just one more insult to forget about. Still trying to convince herself of this, Hermione dressed for bed and climbed beneath her crimson sheets, pulling them firmly to her chin. She let sleep wash over her sometime later, praying for a dreamless sleep.

............

Malfoy took his time returning to his room. Running into Hermione probably wasn't a great idea. Come to think of it, kissing her probably wasn't too brilliant either. He wondered if she'd run and tell Potty and the Weasel. If they attacked him he could always dock Gryffindor a few points, but somehow, Malfoy almost felt he deserved it. After all, he had started out by using her, and she had no reason to think that he hadn't kissed her for any reason other than the bet.

Maybe it was better for her to think that, the blonde boy mused. It would mean she'd hate him more than ever, and that way he'd never have to deal with the strange feeling that crept over him whenever he thought about her. It meant that no uncomfortable questions would be raised by his Slytherin classmates or his family. It meant that he wouldn't have to question himself or his beliefs. It would be much safer.

............

Hermione was careful to avoid Malfoy as much as possible the next day. She drew the curtains over her window lest she see him flying and she kept her eyes purposely averted from the Slytherin table in the Great Hall whenever she entered it. She nearly encountered him outside of the library in the early afternoon, but ducked into a classroom doorway until he'd turned a corner. The air was scented slightly with his cologne, Hermione noticed. She stood in front of the doors for a moment, trying to hold onto the scent and getting an odd look from a Ravenclaw boy who nearly ran her over as he left the library.

He used you for a bet! Hermione reminded herself.

Yes, argued a small bit of her mind, But that doesn't mean you can't enjoy his cologne. It's very nice cologne.

Shut up! Hermione told herself. Madam Pince was peering at her. Hermione cheeks turned a delicate pink and she quickly surrounded herself with reference books for yet another paper. Two or three hours later, Hermione met Harry and Ron for a walk across the grounds to Hagrid's for tea. Fang greeted them at the door, barking loudly.

"Git down, Fang," Hagrid scolded, letting the students into his hut. "An' how've you three been?"

"Great," Harry answered.

"Fine," Hermione lied.

"Loads of homework," complained Ron. Hagrid chuckled.

"It'll do yeh good, Ron."

"I don't see why I can't just fly off like my brothers did," Ron grumbled. Hermione scowled.

"Yeh don' mean tha'," Hagrid said kindly. "Yeh like it 'ere, I know yeh do."

"Besides, Ron," Harry said smiling, "You can't abandon the team! We've a good chance for the cup this year."

Ron's scowl melted a bit at that, and he seemed to cheer up.

"Any more trouble from Malfoy?" Hagrid asked Hermione, a fierce glint coming into his eyes.

"No," Hermione lied smoothly. "He was following me the other day, buy I set Moaning Myrtle on him and he's left me alone since then."

"Good girl!" Hagrid said brightly, as he set cups out for them all and poured tea. "Rock cake?"

............

She was avoiding him, Malfoy could tell. He pretended not to see her turn around and head the other direction when they nearly met in the Charms corridor before dinner. She must really be angry, he thought, continuing down the hallway. Not that he could blame her, of course, but his heart sank all the same. It felt peculiar to be so... disappointed, and for no reason that he could particularly fathom, either. He had no reason to think about Hermione in the first place, the tall boy told himself firmly. No reason at all.

Malfoy groaned inwardly as Pansy Parkinson sidled over to him on a second floor staircase. She made what she must have thought was an appealing, sexy face, but it made her look rather like a drowning Fwooper. Her voice is a bit reminiscent of a Fwooper, too, Malfoy thought amusedly.

"Hey, Draco," Pansy said, pouting her lower lip.

"Not interested, Parkinson," Draco said firmly.

"Don't play hard-to-get," Pansy said, laying a hand on his arm. Malfoy pushed her away.

"I'm not playing games, Parkinson."

Pansy looked extremely confused.

"Then why won't you meet me anywhere or take me out?" Pansy asked dimly, looking upset.

"You're not my type," Malfoy answered her coldly. "Now, If you'll excuse me." He swept off down the corridor at the bottom of the staircase, hoping fervently the girl wouldn't follow him. Pansy stood on the staircase, staring after Malfoy. At first she felt a bit disturbed by his frankness, but the feeling passed.

Huh, she thought, turning around to go back up the stairs. Bloody Ferret. I didn't like him that much anyway. She paused. Then, That Zabini fellow, she mused. He's quite fit... Pansy hurried off, feeling cheerier now that she had a new mission.

Later in the Great Hall, Malfoy swept past the Gryffindor table, making sure to elude any eye contact. He spoke to no one during the meal, although he was relieved to see Pansy Parkinson attaching herself to Blaise Zabini at the far end of the table. He left the room as quickly as possible, making a beeline for his room. To his dismay, Peeves the Poltergeist popped seemingly from nowhere just in front of him somewhere on the fourth floor. He produced several small balloons that appeared to be filled with something a lot like glue. Malfoy pulled out his wand and pointed it at Peeves.

"Get out of the way, Peeves," Malfoy ordered.

Peeves stuck out his tongue and hoisted one of the balloons, ready to heave it at Hogwarts' Head Boy.

"Protego!" Malfoy flicked his wand. The glue-filled balloon hit something invisible and solid in mid-air, sending it back at Peeves, who zoomed away, laughing madly. The balloon hit the floor some ways down the corridor and exploded, making a humongous, sticky mess. Malfoy disposed of it with a scouring charm and continued on his way. Hermione was just entering her room when he approached, and he stopped moving as she looked up, her expression unreadable. Without a word, she looked away again and stepped inside her room, closing the door in one smooth movement. Malfoy entered his own room then, and feeling rather dejected, he went to bed.

............

Hermione sat at her window again. How did he do that? Malfoy always seemed to turn up at awkward times. Moments ago in the hallway as she'd been opening the door, she'd heard footsteps and looked up, straight into Malfoy's silver eyes. His eyes had been dark and guarded, and with his hair falling in his face, he'd looked so.... So what? Hermione thought, pulling her knees to her chest. You despise him, remember?

...

No matter how hard Hermione tried to stay put of Malfoy's way, they seemed to frequent the same places. It was frustrating. She said nothing to her friends and they were all completely ignorant, or so Hermione thought. On Saturday afternoon, however, Hermione was sitting with Luna Lovegood in the library, studying for Ancient Runes when Malfoy stalked in. She watched him from the corner of her eye, but whenever he looked her way, she was always conveniently buried in one or another of her charts. Luna watched all of this with interest. Once Malfoy left again, Luna cleared her throat. Hermione looked up.

"What happened between you two?" she asked in that strange voice of hers.

"Who are you talking about?" Hermione asked, playing dim.

"Malfoy," the misty-eyed girl answered.

"What makes you think something happened?" Hermione asked, looking back at her books.

"It's rather obvious," Luna said. "To me, anyway," she added a moment later.

"Some stuff happened on the Astronomy Tower. It's nothing, really."

"If you like him," Luna said with touch of amusement, "You ought to do something about it instead of just staring at him all the time."

"I didn't stare at him!" Hermione protested hotly. Luna just examined Hermione as though she were an interesting painting.

"You ought to figure out what you really want, Hermione," Luna said after studying her friend for several minutes. "I have to go now. I need to owl my father... I've been doing research for his article about the Horned Snogglebrute." She gathered her things slowly and drifted out of the library. Hermione sighed and stared blankly at the neat pieces of parchment. Maybe the younger girl was right. She gave up on studying and collected her belongings. Her journey back to her room was accompanied by anxious thought.

What exactly did she want? She wanted to know what made Malfoy so attractive to her. She wanted to know why he couldn't kiss her because he wanted to and not because of some juvenile bet. She wanted to talk to Malfoy... really talk to him and ask him the questions that surfaced in her mind every time she saw his face. Hermione was sitting in her favourite armchair reading a novel when an idea struck her. Her eyes lit and her cheeks turned slightly pink at whatever she was thinking. This was going to be good.

............

Malfoy met Hermione in Filch's office later that night. He departed for the fourth floor feeling rather apprehensive, but Hermione said nothing. She didn't even look at him for all that he could tell. As dull as patrolling round was, it was better than sitting alone in his room al night. When the pair of them reached the entrance to the Astronomy Tower, Hermione stepped aside and gestured that he go first. Malfoy did so, speaking not a word, and climbed the stairs two at a time. When he stepped onto the tower, the blonde boy walked straight to the wall and looked over, enjoying the feel of the cool night air against his skin. He heard Hermione step onto the tower and then, the unmistakable sound of the door shutting behind her. And locking.

............

Hermione stood in front of the Astronomy Tower door and waited as Malfoy turned slowly around. He stared at her for a moment before speaking.

"Granger," he said calmly, "Did you just let the door shut?"

"Yes," Hermione answered simply. She crossed the tower to stand next to the tall Slytherin boy.

"Why?" Malfoy asked coolly.

"Because we need to talk," Hermione responded, "And this is the only way to keep you where I want you long enough to do so."

"And what do we need to discuss so urgently?"

"First off, I want to know why you treat me like something lower than pond scum," Hermione said, meeting his eyes squarely.

"Because you're a Mudblood," Malfoy answered flatly.

"So what?"

"I'm a Pureblood."

"Why does that matter? Do you think that makes you better than I am?" Hermione wanted to know?

"Yes," Malfoy said, but he didn't sound as confident.

"And who gave you the right to judge that?" Hermione demanded, fist clenching.

Malfoy didn't have an answer.

"That's what I thought," Hermione said, smugly. "Now, how about that bet. what were the terms?"

"If I could kiss you, I'd get something from Blaise Zabini," Malfoy answered, looking away across the dark castle grounds.

"So why try twice?" Hermione inquired, keeping her eyes fixed on Malfoy's face.

"He tripled the result."

"Which was?"

"Originally, one Transylvanian opal. The second time, three."

"Where was he planning to get them?" Hermione pressed. Transylvanian opals were very powerful in magic work and also very hard to get.

"His father trafficks gems," Malfoy told her, still gazing over the wall.

"What were you going to use them for?" Hermione asked curiously.

"A spell." Malfoy's expression was entirely closed.

"Did you collect after last Saturday night?" Hermione wanted to know. She tensed in anticipation of his answer.

"No."

Hermione was admittedly surprised.

"Why not?" He probably hadn't had time, she thought. But Malfoy shrugged.

"I don't know."

Hermione examined the boy's profile, for a moment, then spoke.

"I don't believe you."

Malfoy turned sharply to look at her. "You don't." A statement.

"No."

"And why not?" Malfoy tried to sneer, but failed.

"Because I have more faith in you than that," Hermione answered softly, meeting his eyes. "I think you felt bad about it. I think you wanted to kiss me." She was bluffing, of course, but it threw him off guard. He looked away.

"What do you know about it?"

Hermione blinked. Could she be right? No, it wasn't possible.

"Look, can't we be friends?" she wanted to know.

"Too many complications," Malfoy answered, a tad too quickly. Hermione thought for a second. This situation correlated rather nicely with a Muggle romance she'd read once. If she'd used her wand, it couldn't have happened more perfectly... the line from a song she'd heard once began to play in her mind.

"...if you wanna know if he loves you so..." But she couldn't do that, could she? It would certainly be unlike her normal self, but she'd been longing to break free of her confining little box. Hermione smiled to herself before grasping Malfoy's shoulder firmly and turning him to face her with surprising strength. He looked at her again, but there wasn't any of the coldness she was used to seeing there. Her heart pounded in her chest and she could feel her cheeks getting pink. It was now or never.

Before she could loose her nerve, Hermione slid her hands around his neck and pulled his face towards hers. When she kissed him, he responded, slipping an arm around her waist and pulling her closer. A few moments passed and the need for air became too great an obstacle to overlook. The broke apart, Hermione looking impishly up into Malfoy's rather startled face.

"What did you do that for?" he growled, displaying a trace of his usual manner.

"I needed to test a theory," Hermione answered, brushing the front of her robes smooth.

"I hope your experiment was successful. Do you mind letting me in on the thing?" Malfoy asked, making an attempt at nonchalant-ness. Hermione smiled sweetly at him and walked back across the tower to the door. Pulling a key from her pocket, she fitted it into the lock and split-second later, the door swung open. Hermione pocketed the key and looked back at Malfoy who stared at her, stunned.

"Something wrong?" she inquired. Hermione kicked the doorstop into place and descended the stairs, leaving a very confused Head Boy behind.

............

She'd kissed him out of nowhere, and he had no clue as to why. This was too unnerving for poor Malfoy's taste. Worst of all, he'd been caught off of his careful guard and reacteded to the touch of her lips on his by pulling her even closer. There was no way she'd missed that, and he was sure she knew what it meant. He leaned against the wall with his head in his hands. This was a bit too much to take all at once. Did this mean she didn't hate him, or was she just toying with him? Was she even capable of toying, he wondered. What was she going to do next, and what was he going to do about it? As he stood there, leaning against the cold stone, an idea came to mind. He wasn't in Slytherin for nothing, after all... He just needed a bit of time.

............

A/N: Right... sorry it took so long! My computer kept deleting bits of it, the crabby old thing. Electronic devices can be so temperamental. Let me know if you find any typos, please! I hope you like Miss Granger's newfound feistiness... heh heh.

IMPORTANT What I meant by that line in the sorting hat song (which, by the way, is in fact my own personal work) about not being prideful of your house means only that one should never set oneself above others because of the house they're in. Remember in the first book where everyone's saying they wouldn't want to be in Hufflepuff but Ravenclaw wouldn't be too bad? Hermione says something about Gryffindor sounding "by far the best", and of course the Slytherins are all full of it. All the houses have equal strengths and equal faults. Remember that not every Slytherin goes bad... just most of them. :0) I'm so a Hufflepuff. But I look terrible in yellow.

Thanks for all the reviews, you guys. waves I appreciate the support.

As always, thanks to my betas, Kerichi and Aindel S. Druida. You rock!

I hope your day is strictly mint. :0)