Naruto Primer Lost Chapter: Asuma
Nothing Can Be Done
Because of a labeling error on our part, some people somehow ended up reading Kakashi's chapter. We're so embarrassed! Here's the REAL Asuma chapter...
Asuma is an easily excitable fellow. You all can only imagine what Asuma's reaction was to suddenly find out that Shikamaru was the only one in the entire exam to earn his chuunin vest. Now, since that reaction is not expressed or illustrated at any point in time, we can all just assume that Asuma ran around town kissing babies and dancing with random women he stumbled across in the street. Shikamaru was the underdog of the exam and, because the planets were aligned in a strange way that day, he was now the coolest guy in the world. No, not Shikamaru! I'm talking about Asuma!
Frequently, the other jounins used to ridicule Asuma for having a "lame" team that was lazy and couldn't fight for beans. But the whole time Asuma knew the truth; that Shikamaru was actually a super genius! Simply telling people didn't really give them the right idea… and showing them never seemed to work either!
Then he got his chuunin vest. Asuma could then walk proudly around the town, now believing that people owed him something.
"Asuma," said Kakashi as Asuma walked by.
"YES Kakashi?" Asuma said eagerly.
"I want to congratulate you." Kakashi said like a good sport. "I heard that Shikamaru became a chuunin."
Asuma nodded and then handed Kakashi a bottle of sunscreen.
"What's this for?" Kakashi asked.
"I wouldn't want you to get a sunburn while basking in my omnipotent glow." Asuma answered as he strutted arrogantly way.
At first, everyone let Asuma have a little fun. They all assumed that they would have been just like him if their students had become chuunins as well. But once a few weeks passed by and slowly turned into a two months and Asuma was STILL obsessively talking about Shikamaru being a chuunin, something had to be done about it or they all would surely go crazy.
They tried reasoning with him, but he would have none of it.
They tried beating him up, but his ego would not be bruised.
They tried insulting his mom, but he said this was about Shikamaru and not his mom.
They tried to remind Asuma that they were much cooler than he was, but he just told them that his student was cooler.
Apparently, Asuma was undiscourageable, a new adjective we made up just so we could describe Asuma perfectly. His tenacity (that's a real word) when it came to telling everyone for the ten thousandth time that Shikamaru was a chuunin seemed unbreakable.
Unshakeable.
Unchangeable.
And completely unbelievable.
The only thing the people of Konoha could do was learn to accept that this was now going to become apart of their lives. They tried not to let the constant reminders of Shikamaru's chuuninhood get them down. They also tried not to hold anything against Shikamaru since he himself also appeared to be getting a little tired of it.
Nothing could be done. And nothing can ever be done.