"Why did you leave CTU?"

"I had a lot of problems because of my job and my family suffered for it."

"That was nice of you. I don't think anyone in my family would ever do that. What is the date?" She asked all of the sudden suddenly remember what month it was and wondering if the day had passed without her remember. That would be a first, and a welcomed first.

"It's the twenty-seventh." Jack said after checking his watch for the date. He saw the sudden change in her demeanor. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Uhm do you mind if I stop off somewhere and make a phone call." Jamie said thinking about the conversation she would have, it was always the same every year.

"Sure. You can take my cell phone. We can find an all night diner and grab some food." Jack said. He didn't want to ask for to much information from her, he could see that she was like him and once he got to many questions in she might shut down and than he would not be able to find out who she was, as he could tell she was a young woman who needed help, and for once he wanted to help someone in hopes that it might help him. He was never there for Kim growing up, and he regretted and while this girl was not his daughter he could tell people had not been there for her, just in her short conversation with him he knew a lot, and could see himself in her.

"Thanks. It'll be long distance are you sure?"

"Yeah. If you don't mind may I ask who you are calling?"

She laughed she knew this would give her age away, "My mother."

"How old are you really?" Jack finally confronted her.

"I'm nineteen." She said.

"Are you telling the truth this time." Jack said a little angry.

"Yes. I only lied to you earlier because you wouldn't have let me come along if you thought I was any younger." She said defensively.

"Can I see your drivers licenses."

"You don't believe me." She said angry.

"Can I see it please."

"It's in my bag. I'll show you once we stop." She said angry wondering if she should find another ride than. But she knew a young girl like herself hitch hiking would not get to far until she ran into the wrong man.

She pulled into the first all night dinner she could find. She found her wallet and handed it to Jack. "See." She said still angry.

"Sorry I just wanted to make sure I wasn't helping you run away."

"I already told you it wasn't anything like that."

"Than what are you running from?"

Jamie wanted to scream, My life, my future, my past, the present, Anthony, myself ,and everyone else who wants something from me. "Nothing." She said with a straight face. "What makes you think I'm running?"

"I know what it's like to run away, and you have all the same traits. If you don't want to tell me fine, just as long as it's not the police or anything like that."

"I'm not running." Jamie said.

"Fine." Jack grabbed his cell phone out and handed it to her. "Here I'll be inside come join me when your finished."

"Thanks." Jamie said her anger lessening.

She leaned against the car looking around through the dark night making sure no one was close. She dialed the number from her childhood and waited for her mom to answer.

"Hello." Her mom's cracked whiskey voice came over.

"Hey mom's it's me."

"Jamie. It's been so long you need to call more often. Where are you?"

"I'm on the road with a friend."

"Your boyfriend Anthony called."

"We're through mom."

"Oh I never did like him. Are you coming home soon?"

"No." Jamie said. "I was just calling to see if you put flowers on dad's grave."

"Why would I do that today?"

"It's the fifteenth anniversary of his death." Jamie already dreaded the call. She wanted to be in Peoria for it just to say hello again to her death father. His grave had always been something she came back for, just to tell him what had happened and just see it so hopefully she would move on, but after fifteen years she still held on to him. He had been an ars hole, but it was her father. She had the same amount of love and hate for him, it was a weird mixture that wouldn't let her move on. She use to try to go a day without thinking about him, but he always came up. She just couldn't let go of him, everyone else already had, but she couldn't. She doubted her brother even remembered it was the day. She looked at the clock it was 1:28 three more minutes and it would be the official fifteenth anniversary.

"Honey are you still dwelling on that. When are you going to get over it. It's been fifteen years. You should have moved on by now. He wasn't as great as you think. You know he beat me and your brother, and would have you if you had not scared him that one time by pissing your pants cuz you were so scared of him." Her mom laughed about the incident over the phone, but Jamie still clearly remembered it and didn't find anything funny about a little girl being so scared of her father that she pissed her pants when he came after her.

"I better go mom." She said hanging up the phone. She noticed the tears in her eyes, no one would ever understand the need to hang on she knew it, and she knew it wasn't healthy but she could abandoned him everyone always had and she just couldn't do it.

Jack watched the event from the diner and he wanted to walk outside and put his arm around her and try to console her. He was not attracted to him, he wasn't one of those middle age men who went for the young women, he was more of a protective figure. He didn't really know her but he already felt like he had to protect her and help her.

He thought about when he was her age. He had been in the Army in some third world country protecting his country. The only thing he ever saw were other people his age on the other side he was suppose to hate and kill. He had no problem them killing them, they were going to kill him so it was not a hard choice in the end. The effects hit him later after his friends started dying. It all came crumbling down when he lead a mission where he thought all of the men had died. He later found out one survived and was tortured for almost three years until he finally escaped or got away some how. Jack felt the guilt take over and he was no longer hungry. He waited for Jamie to enter but she never did.

He paid the bill and walked out to the SUV. He opened the driver door because he saw her in the passenger side. Her hands buried in her face. That's when he heard, she was crying. He got in and said, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She did, she wanted to air our her soul tell him everything, but she still held on to the wall. She didn't know him, and the people she did know she never trusted, but she had to let it out. "I am running." She finally said through the tears. "I'm running from life, and everything else. Today is the anniversary of my fathers death. No one cares about it but me. I have this guy Anthony after me. He's my ex-boyfriend. Of course I had to follow my mom and fall in love with the drug addicts. If he finds me he'll kill me. I left college this year. I lost my last best friend from my childhood, and I couldn't handle it anymore. Everyone had expectations. Those around me expected me to be the same happy Jamie, who always did good in school. Those who weren't around me expected me to fail like everyone else in my family. Either way I couldn't meet their expectations. Both sets were asking to much or to little of me, and I know I'm suppose to just worry about myself but I can't. I have so much to prove that sometimes I just feel overwhelmed and I now I started late in the race and I can't catch up. The quicker I run the more stuff thrown at me, and the faster everyone else goes." Jamie starts to sob not feeling any better after telling a complete stranger her problems.

Jack was not sure how to help her. He understood everything all to well. "I'd like to say it's going to get better, but the truth is it'll get worse before it gets better. I lost my wife a few years ago. I thought that was the worst thing ever and sometimes I'd lie to myself and say it could only go up from there, but it didn't. I was never their for my daughter who is a stranger to me now, she left with her boy friend to live in New York or somewhere. Just last year I had to do a lot of things to save L.A. from a virus that haunt me. I've killed people in war, or doing my job and they all haunt me at night. And yet everyone expects more out of you. And sometimes I go to far to give them their expectations. I can't tell you what to do other than live through it, it has to get better eventually otherwise everyone would be unhappy."

"Life sucks than you die right?" She said as she had so many times before with her friends.

"I'm not sure it's exactly like that. Life does suck but there is always something good you just have to try hard to find the good." Jack said sprouting stuff he didn't believe himself but he could see the lost look in the girls eyes he knew all to well from his own.

"Now you think I'm crazy don't you? That's why I should just keep my mouth shut. No one really cares about anyone else. Everything we ever do is to help ourselves, even if that is not the conscious reason, unconsciously we are patting ourselves on the back for the good deed, and we need that more than the deed itself." She began to speak of what she had learned from her first year of college. The professor didn't teach it that way, but that's what she got from all the lectures.

Jack was unsure of what to say. He was partly trying to help her in an effort to help himself. She was probably right in the end there are no such things as selfless acts.

"So what about you Jack? You know what I'm running from why don't you share a little so I don't feel so damn stupid?"

"About the same as you."

"You have any family, a wife, ex-wife, ex-wives?"

"I have a daughter. I had a wife she died."

"I'm sorry." Jamie said as she had always gotten when she talked about anyone she knew who died, everyone would always say their sorry. She usually guessed and now knew it was because there was nothing else to say. "How old is your daughter?"

"I think twenty-two."

"You think?" She said.

"Yeah I haven't really been there for her. And she moved out of town last years. Got a transfer. I think in reality she just wanted to get away from me. Like I said I hadn't really been there for her, and she probably hates my guts for it."

"Jack I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Daughters never hate their fathers fully. There is an unwritten rule that no matter what there is always a little piece of you that still loves your dad no matter how fu(ked up he is or was. That's the hard thing about most of the bad father daughter relationships. You have the daughter who loves and hates her father, and it is a weird mix. It's hard to go on loving someone that you hate too." She thought of her own father. Fifteen years it has felt longer since he had been gone. It hit her like always that she would never get to patch things up with him. She would never get to see him, she had already forgotten what he looked like, the picture faded away, and she could not remember anything but bad things. Every good memory ended in something bad happening. Sometimes when she was depressed she allowed herself to believe his death was a good thing because he didn't get a chance to fu(k her up worse. Though when she came to her senses she knew that that was still a bad deal. She would have rather had him screw her up to the point she was in a mental hospital than losing him. She missed out on so much, and never had those experiences everyone has had with their father.

He friends would talk about their fathers and say how much they hated them, but in the next breath relate a good memory they had. She didn't have that memory. Her father didn't see her graduate in the top twenty percent of her class, he didn't get to see her except her Senior Honors Award, all of her Air Force Junior Reserve Officers awards all 121 of them. He didn't see anything really, and she missed him so much now. Long ago she thought she had gotten over him, but he always came back to haunt her to remind her of all she missed and all she could never have.

"You ok?" She heard Jack say.

"Yeah sorry. I zoned out again."

"How about we get a hotel room for the night sleep some." Jack said.

"Uhm I'm cool to drive."

"No you need to sleep. My treat"

Jack had to practically bother her to accept his buying her a room for the night. She did not want him to spend the money on her, nor did she want to feel like she was in debt to him. But after much debate Jack finally won when he had said it would be as a part of a payment for coming with him and driving. She could handle all of the gas and he'd get the rest of the expenses.

After finding a hotel they both went to their rooms to try to sleep. They had a long day of driving ahead of them and needed to rest. Jack could not sleep he laid awake thinking about all he had missed with Kim growing up. He had not been there and the fact of his not being there hit him harder with every new year. He hated himself for being like his father and not being around, and he hated himself more for not seeing it till she was fully grown.

Jamie lay awake thinking about her father, and her life. She was so tired of it that sometimes she thought she would be so much better off dead. There would be some minor drawl backs to it, but she wouldn't be living in the world of pain that she couldn't escape. Every time she tried to run from the pain it only chased her harder. She learned that even though alcohol helps cover it, it never makes it go away, it always comes back the next day. Trying to turn her mind of so she could sleep a night through she curled up on the bed putting her headphones on. She looked through her CD's till she found one she could sleep to Sheryl Crow.

She listened to the words as she willed sleep on. Unable to sleep, with the ghost of the past haunting her she got out of bed. She had noticed the pay phone down the hallway when they came in. She didn't have change, but she could always call collect. She always laughed when she though about calling someone collect because the only way she ever remembered to spell collect was to sing the song of the commercial 1-800-C-0-LL-ECT. She dialed the number and said her name when prompted too. She knew the person would accept the call.

"Jamie where the hell are you I've been looking all over for you."

"Anthony, I just can't do it anymore. I can be what you need or want. I have to grow up and figure out something. I can't be what we are."

"Where are you? Are you with another man? You are aren't you, you stupid cheating b!tch." He said angry.

"I'm not with anyone Anthony. And you had this coming. I told you I wouldn't let any man hit me ever. I'm not going to turn into what my mom was. I warned you."

"You should have been at home on time. Where are you? You're my girlfriend and you don't need to be out wherever you are. You should be here at home. Now tell me where you are before I get pissed off."

"No. Bye." She said hanging up feeling the tears run down her face as her heart was once again filled with fear. She knew it was stupid to call him, but she had hoped maybe he had changed or at least seen what he had done wrong and would aplogize, but he didn't even do that. She knew he would catch up with he eventually and than nothing could save her. It wouldn't be that bad, would it? She thought to herself. It wasn't like she would be killing herself. She knew he would kill her, but she wouldn't be doing it with her hands. She put the thought out of her mind. She went back to her room. She turned the Discman up:

I would of given you all of my heart

But there's someone whose torn it apart

And he taken just all that I have

But if you want to try to love again

Baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest

Baby I know the first cut is the deepest

When come to being lucky he's first

When it come to loving me he worse

She felt the tears coming down her face quicker. She hated the song but at the same time it always brought back good memories. Most people would think she was naive to think that she at her age could have found her true love, but she knew she had. She had been in love with the same person for almost seventeen years of her life. When she was two she had her first crush on him. Even through the stage of not wanting boys she still had loved him. He had said it was the same and they were going to go to college together and than after they both got in the career they wanted if they felt the same they were going to get married. That is if she wanted it, she had said she was never the marrying type, but she would have seriously of thought about it for him.

That all came to an end, she thought bitterly. It had been late one night and he was out driving, he always did so when he had to get away from everyone. He didn't see the stop sign or something like that because he pulled out in front of a semi and was killed. She still remembered the funeral she had been such a big part of. She gave the eulogy and made most of the other arrangements with his parents. She felt her heart go when he died. She seriously had nothing left to live for. How does a person go on after they lost their soul mate. Her mother thought she was crazy for thinking she could have a soul mate so young, but she knew it was meant to be between them. It had always been that way. They were inseparable and they shared so much pain and happiness together. She could not possibly think of ever loving anyone else. She had to settle for someone else, and she settled for the no good Anthony.

She tried to sleep the rest of the night, but sleep kept evading her. She got to the point she was so desperate to sleep that she was willing to down a bottle of sleeping pills if she thought it would help. The last time she slept good was when she was drunk, and she didn't enjoy that too much because she always woke up tired still. She laid in bed willing sleep to come on.

Jack looked at the clock on the night stand it was early in the morning. He was tired, but he still could not sleep. He knew he needed sleep, but his mind just would not shut off. He sat up in the bed when he saw the first ray of light shine through, another sleepless night he thought to himself. He looked at his cell phone taunting him to call Kim or any one for that matter he had not heard or spoken to any of them in awhile. He took the cell phone and dialed Kim's number.

The phone rang three times before someone picked it up. A gruff male voice said, "Hello?" Cleary having been woken up by the phone call.

Jack didn't know what to say. He knew who it was and anger ran through him to think he would be over at Kim's house over night. Jack didn't say anything to upset to open his mouth, and he knew if he did it wouldn't help his situation.

"Hello. Who is this?" Chase said angry. "You know what time it is. You stupid punks." He slammed the phone done angry. Kim turned over, "Who was it honey?"

"Some stupid kids making prank calls. They didn't' say anything on the other line."

Jack finally turned his phone of a minute later. Mad at himself for not saying anything. He sat in his bed thinking about what to do next, it was no use in trying to sleep now. He got out of the bed and went into the bathroom. Turning the water on he got undressed to take a shower.

Jamie sat in her room and heard the water turn on next door where Jack was staying. She felt a rush knowing that they should be leaving soon, moving on again, running from the demons. She followed in Jack steps taking a shower. When she got out she walked outside and sat in the plastic chair outside the hotel. She watched the sun as it moved across the sky rising to bring morning into full effect. She missed the days of watching the sun and having no worries. She missed the pond at her college where she would sit late at night watching the stars thinking about nothing but what it would be like to actually see a star up close or even just be anywhere else. She enjoyed when her friend would come along the game anywhere but here. They would dream up the perfect place to be, anywhere but where they were at the time, or their home town.

Jack walked outside and saw Jamie sitting. "Ready to go already?"

"Yeah I couldn't sleep." She said tired, but knowing sleep would not come.

"Me neither. Let's hit the road I figure we could grab something to eat along the way." He said walking up to her.

"Cool. Let's go." She followed him to the car after checking out. She sat in the passenger seat thinking about asking him the question that had been burning on her mind, but not sure if she should ask it. It was harmless, but at the same time it said so much about her, that she didn't want to reveal to anyone. Finally irritated with herself she asked, "Do you think a person has only one soul mate? If you believe in that stuff." She said trying to act as if the answer meant nothing to her.

Jack thought about the question. If he believed in the one soul mate than he was setting himself up for a life of misery and loneliness because there was no doubt in his mind that Teri was his soul mate, but at the same time would that be right? "I think there might be more than one out there. If not than what about people who loose their soul mate early on?"

"Have you ever lost anyone?" Jamie asked not remembering about his wife.

"I lost my wife a few years back."

"Oh I'm so stupid." She said remembering it and annoyed with herself for not remembering. She hated herself at times because it felt like she always thought about herself and no one else when reality it was the direct opposite. She cared more for others than herself, and would do anything for most of the people she knew, even those she disliked. "If you don't mind me asking how did she die?"

Jack put his head back as he drove he would relive it again in hopes of helping the young woman sitting next to him. He knew she must have lost something recently something or someone that meant a lot to her, and now she was out trying to find it, and he would try to help her so she wouldn't go down the road he went. He began from the beginning how he had just gotten back with her, how they separated, he continued for a half an hour till he finished his story of how he got to where he was.

Jamie listened feeling like she had no right to feel bad about her life, it hadn't been half as bad as his. When he was finished with the story she looked at him and said, "You lived through all of this and you are here to tell it. I wish I had half your guts." She said sadly really meaning what she said, it wasn't enough for what she felt, but it was all she had to offer.

"Well I've told you my story what about yours?" Jack said trying to get her to open up to him to tell him something. "This is how I see it Jamie. We are two strangers and after this trip we'll probably never see each other again so what's the harm in opening up cuz no one will ever know." Jack prodded.

Jamie didn't know where to begin. So she told him, "I'm not sure where to begin."

"Childhood good bad ugly fun?" Jack questioned.

"Typical bad. My dad was a drug addict he wasted most of the money he and my mom made on beer and drugs. He would abuse my mom and my brother. He never really hit me much, mostly because I never talked out of fear. He and my mom split when I was young and than shortly after he died in a car accident. My mom went out after that got drunk whenever she could. She wasted most of her life with him so she was going to live it than. My brother and I raised ourselves and each other. Our house was the major hangout in the neighborhood, most of the other children in the same situation we were in. Except my friend Staci. Her mom and stepfather were there all of the time for her and me even. They had another child and never treated him different from Staci or myself. I made it through everything. Went to school got diagnosed with a learning disability that was suppose to keep me from being able to be like most children. I over came it with the help of a great teacher and now here I am reading and writing just as good if not better than some of my peers. My friend Staci killed herself and I walked in afterwards when I heard her mom screaming. I never talked to them again, her mom stepfather or brother. I felt responsible because I was going through my own problems and was not there for her. I went through high school had some rebellious times and found my friend who lived down the street most of his life asked me out. We started to see each other and had been really serous about marrying after we each go into our career of choice. He died in a car accident. Than I settled for another friend Anthony and it didn't work out."

"Is that who you are running from?"

"Sort of. He's a little possessive and I just can't be with him anymore. I want to be alone for awhile and figure out who the hell I am and if I can even make it in this world."

"What about your mother?" Jack could see himself in the girl and so much more pain in her.

"She's still around. She meant my stepfather, he's really her boyfriend they've been together since I was five so it's been awhile, but she won't remarry. They live with each other in the house I grew up in. She's means well, but she's to damn controlling and I'm to easily controlled so I stay away from her. Sometimes I think she's trying to make up for not being there when I was younger." Jamie stopped done with her story.

"You've been through a lot for someone so young. You are strong. Even if you don't see it yourself you are strong to have survived it all." Jack said not sure what to say.

And so began the uneasy silence between them. Neither of them sure what to say to the other.