Dealer's Choice
Chapter 5: War
A few days later...
"Get OUT of the BATHROOM!"
"Hold on!"
"OUT!" Inuyasha banged on the door, causing what few pictures kagome had hung on the walls to give the place more life, shake.
"WAIT!"
"How fucking long does it take to put your fucking hair in a fucking PONYTAIL?!"
"Use the other bathroom!"
"There IS no other BATHROOM!"
"Then you'll just have to WAIT, WON'T YOU?!"
"HURRY UP! I NEED TO TAKE A GODDAMN SHOWER!" He banged on the door again. This time something happened, albeit not what he expected.
Kagome opened the door, and Inuyasha recieved a Dixie cup-ful of water in the face before the door slammed shut on him once again.
"Bitch!"
"You said you needed a shower!"
The doorbell range, forcing Inuyasha to abandon his post at the coveted bathroom's door to answer it. He swung the door open as he wiped off his dripping features. Behind said door was a rather confused looking man, dressed rather nicely and clutching a bouquet of daisies.
"Um... I'm looking for Miss Higurashi, but I must be mistaken. I'm sorry for interrupting your morning."
"HOJO!" Kagome came barreling up from behind Inuyasha, who was just about to reply to the man with a particularly scathing remark, and knocked him to the side to hit the wall painfully.
"Bathroom's open," She hissed before turning a brilliant smile in Hojo's direction, "What are you doing here?"
Hojo blushed madly, shoving the flowers into Kagome's hands, "I thought that we might be able to car pool to work together... now that you're in the neighborhood and all... if that's okay with you..."
Sniffing the bouquet delicately, Kagome smiled, "That's very sweet of you, but how did you know I moved? I just got here yesterday."
Hojo blushed darker, "I... uh... called yesterday and your mother explained it to me."
Kagome froze mid-inhale. Just how much did her mother tell him anyway? She gave a pointed look to the posies in her hands. Apparently not enough, or Hojo was just that dense. Inuyasha gagged and she kicked him.
"That's nice of you Hojo. I'll be ready in a minute."
"THE HELL IT-" Inuyasha's protest died as his shins met Kagome's foot once again. Hojo cocked his head to the side as he sized up the man who was glaring darkly at Kagome.
"Kagome... uh... who is that... exactly?"
She looked up in surprise, interrupted in her attempting to make Inuyasha's head implode telekinetically. "Oh... Hojo, this is Inuyasha. He's my hu-.. hu-... He lives here with me. It cuts down on rent." She grinned widely, praying to everything holy and unholy that the man would fall for it. 'Come on... come on... housemate... housemate...'
Said 'housemate' snorted, "Yeah, right. More like hus- OW! DAMMIT! WOULD YOU STOP KICKING ME ALREADY?"
She flashed another bright smile at Hojo as Inuyasha hopped around on one foot, clutching his ankle in pain. "Hojo? Why don't you come in for a moment while I take care of these?"
Hojo nodded and stepped inside, taking in his surroundings eagerly. Inuyasha watched him for a moment before excusing himself to follow Kagome's path into the kitchen. He found her there, searching the cupboards.
"What the fuck was that all about?"
Kagome paused, "Oh. It's you." She sighed and continued to rummage through the cupboard, "Nothing. Do you know what happened to the vases? I know there's a few around here somewhere?"
"You call that nothing?"
"You called that thing with Miroku nothing. Here, hold these for me, " She shoved the flowers into his hands, breezing past to begin her search in a new cupboard, and straining to reach the taller shelves.
"Who is that guy?"
"His name is Hojo, and he's a coworker of mine, thank you very much. Don't screw this up for me."
"Oops." Inuyasha dropped the bouquet 'accidentally' into an oh-so-conveniently-placed garbage can, "Heh. Look at that."
Kagome glared at him for a moment, then sighed, putting her hands up in defeat and retreated to her room, gracing Hojo with yet another dazzling smile as she cut through the living room. Inuyasha doggedly followed her; He still had questions he wanted answered.
"Screw what up?" Realization hit as he stood in the doorway to her room, "Oh. You're planning an affair!"
"Shut UP!" She hissed as she pushed past him with an athletic duffel bag slung over her shoulder, "Don't you have to go to work?"
"Took the day off," He answered in a brusque manner, irked by the fact that she was planning on cheating on him, even though they couldn't possibly stand the other's presence without dealing out threats like candy on Halloween to children.
Kagome quickly ushered Hojo out of the house and to his car, cutting whatever scalding remark that Inuyasha had poised to dive off the tip of his tongue to miss the pool and hit the concrete.
He scowled. Something was going to have to be done about those two.
"Hiya, Ms. Higurashi! Hiya, Mr. Fatuous"
Kagome waved and turned back to her conversation with Hojo. He had insisted on walking her to her class, and so here they were, chatting lightly. Soon they reached the door. Bidding Hojo a good day, Kagome pushed the door opened and flicked a switch. AS the lights slowly came to life, she surveyed the empty gymnasium. Time for the fun to begin.
====
"Put that over there. Yeah. That's good. Thanks."
Inuyasha had been playing traffic-control for the burly men, but now he merely waited for them to clear out. Yes, he had indeed taken the day off from work, but at the moment, he almost wished he was back. There was something depressing about moving into a house that was acquired by shady means.
As soon as they had all gone and the truck was safely away, he made a beeline to a large box labeled 'Tetsusaiga'. He tore at the packing tape in a near blind panic, digging into the box and sending packing peanuts flying. Carefully, he drew out a computer monitor.
"Hello, doll," he cooed, "Did you miss me?" He looked around his room, "Now, where should we put you?"
"OVER!"
The volleyball arced high over the net and hit the floor, causing the kids to cheer.
Kagome blew her handy-dandy whistle.
"Good game everyone! Head on in, you have eight minutes to change!"
She watched as they ran to their respective locker rooms, some slightly disappointed at their loss, others chattering excitedly about their win. She smiled. She loved her job. The respect. The mentoring. Changing a life....
Meanwhile, as she drifted in her thoughts the bell rang, releasing chaos to reign in the hallways. She checked her watch. Lunch.
"Gurgle, gurble." Her stomach said.
Ergo, Kagome made sure that all the equipment was properly taken care of, waved at a few lagging students, and made her way to the teacher's lounge. Hojo found her first.
"Kagome! I'm glad I caught up with you!"
Kagome smiled warmly at him, "What's the hurry?"
"Did you hear? There's a party today. I can't quite remember what for though."
By now, they made it to the refuge o' teachers, and were immediately armed with cups of punch and a sight that neither would have expected.
Sesshoumaru Inuyouki, the man renowned for making math peak at it's most miserable, therefore dubbed 'The Dread Teacher', was standing on a chair in the middle of the room with colleagues milling about, and looking entirely too pleased with himself. The fact he was even smiling was enough to make Kagome's hackles rise. Something was up.
Sesshoumaru raised his punch glass in the air, others following suit, "Here's to my useless, brain-dead brother finding some poor wench to marry him! To Inuyasha!"
Kagome's cup fell from nerveless fingers.
====
"ACHOO!" Inuyasha sniffled, then crawled out from underneath the desk he had set up. The computer sat quietly on it's surface, a testament to all electronic kind. It was time for the final test. As he hit the power button, it quietly whirred to life. Inuyasha threw his arms upwards and yelled triumphantly to the ceiling.
"IT LIIIIIVESSS!"
"W-what?"
"How wonderful!" Hojo beamed, "We should give Sesshoumaru our congratulations to pass on to the lucky couple."
"Uh- Hojo, I don't think-"
"Oh, come on! It's the least we could do! Look at how happy he is!"
Truthfully, that's exactly what Kagome was worried about. Hojo, however, didn't let her protest as she was dragged to her previously-unheard-of family member. To say her head was spinning would be an understatement. It felt as if someone had detached her head, put her body on a roller coaster, and stuck her head in a clothes dryer all at the same time. Up was down, down was up, and Left was 'W'. Just as she had settled into some semblance of normality, this just had to happen didn't it? Whomever was pulling the strings had a twisted sense of humor. Tee Hee.
Ahem.
"I couldn't help but have the need to congratulate you, Sesshoumaru. You must be very happy for them." Kagome could have shot the man next to her as he grabbed the math teacher's hand and pumped it up and down vigorously, "Give the couple my sincerest congratulations and that I wish them the most of the best."
'Did that even make any sense?...' The distraught woman shook herself out of her stupor as Sesshoumaru grinned eerily at Hojo with an evil glint in his eyes.
"Oh, I will, Hojo. I will." Chills ran down Kagome's spine. Sesshoumaru turned his gaze to the now quiet woman who was staring at him in a dazed, wide-eyed manner, "Can I help you, Ms. Higurashi?"
"How? - but- He-" She stammered, slowly turning a lovely shade of maroon, "He didn't tell me he had a brother!"
Kagome clamped her hands over her mouth in horror as Sesshoumaru's eyes lit up with glee and the creepy factor shot off the charts. He chuckled lightly, the sound of it appalling coming from his throat. It didn't fit him to be so jolly. Santa, he is not.
"So you're the one my idiot brother conned into wedlock. Amazing," He leaned closer, grinning ferally, "Tell me. Which one of you was unconscious at the time?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Ah. So you were drunk then."
"Huh?"
"Everyone!" Sesshoumaru boomed throughout the still buzzing lounge, grabbing Kagome's shoulder and spinning her to face the crowd of her peers, "Another toast!"
Kagome buried her face in her hands, refusing to see the broken look on Hojo's face as Sesshoumaru's voice dominated the silence. 'No no no no no no...'
"TO MY SISTER-IN-LAW!"
Inuyasha was still packing the boxes and bubble wrap away into a closet in the basement when fury incarnate stormed in through the front door. He listened to the stomping taking place and the sound of something slamming shut. He shrugged and continued to neatly store the empty boxes for possible future use. Soon he heard someone happily storming down the stairs.
"INUYASHAAAAA!!"
The owner of said name cringed and the containers that he had stacked on the top shelf of the closet came a'tumblin' down upon his head.
"Oww, dammit!" He spun around to face his arbitrator, and was met with previously said fury incarnate.
"You didn't tell me you had a brother!" Kagome growled, armed with glowy red eyes and a spork. Why a spork? 'Cuz they're dangerous I tell youse!
"What are you talking about, wench?"
The wench approached in a menacing, dangerously slow manner, "Your brother? The one who teaches math? Ring any bells?"
"Sesshoumaru?"
"BASTARD!" Kagome launched herself at the now smirking openly Inuyasha, trying to take out those lovely golden eyes with the spork.
Inuyasha deftly grabbed the girl's wrist and twisted painfully, forcing her arm around to be trapped behind her back. Tears began to rise in her eyes.
"Let me go."
"We need to talk."
"Let me GO!" Kagome managed to wrench herself free, and glared at him in a watery manner as she cradled her abused wrist before storming back upstairs.
"Shit," Inuyasha raced after her, a thousand things running through his mind, most of which were excuses for his behavior. He came upon a closed bathroom door and the sound of sobbing penetrating the air. He jiggled the knob, proving that it was indeed, locked. But did he really expect anything less? Of course not.
"Kagome?" He gently rapped on the door, "Open up."
"No."
"Come on, Kagome. We need to talk!"
"Why? So you can ruin my life even more than it is?"
"No. We just need to get some things straightened out, Kag."
The sniffling slowly calmed and after a few minutes a red/puffy eyed Kagome emerged from the bathroom's spooky depths.
"You called me Kag," She murmured quietly, studying a particularly interesting floorboard, "No one has called me that in years."
Inuyasha flushed slightly, dusty pink spreading across his nose. He coughed.
"Yeah..well... you were in hysterics... and... I couldn't just... I mean... FEH!" He eloquently cut off the stream of babble flowing from his mouth.
====
And now, we find the inevitable couple for if they don't end up together in the end, the world dies, sitting in their living room, eating ramen and conversing in a semi-friendly manner.
"Okay, let me get this straight. You're in this because your mother is still dedicated to your father, who disappeared when you were five, leaving behind you and your half-brother from his first marriage, with your mother, with no attempts at correspondence during all that time until a week ago when you found out you were married, and your mother held you to it because she's still faithful to him and his decisions even though he left you all those years ago?"
"Basically."
"Wow. And I thought I had it bad," Kagome sipped at the steaming broth, "It's almost romantic."
"Feh," slurp "So what's your deal? Permanent PMS?"
Kagome shot him a dangerous look and then sighed, basking in the couch-ness of the couch, "I really am sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me lately. The stress and surprises are getting to be too much." She chewed thoughtfully on the noodles, staring forward and not concentrating on anything really, just thinking. She continued.
"I mean, it's just that... well, It's not everyday that you find out you were married because of a bet in a poker game..."
"It wasn't poker."
"What? But I thought?"
"So did I."
"So what-"
"Don't ask."
"Anyway, having Sesshoumaru show up out of nowhere like that, and things were going so well with Hojo..."
Kagome continued on, but her words fell on deaf ears. Inuyasha glowered slightly, no wife of his was going to have an affair on his watch! He tuned back into the conversation as the unfortunate creature's name was mention once again.
"...maybe when this is all sorted out, we'll have another chance."
"No."
"What?"
"No."
"I don't understand."
"You are NOT hooking up with that sniveling rat."
"Excuse me?"
"I won't allow it."
This did not bode well.
"WHAAAT?!"
The house shook in an earthquake-style manner, windows rattling, picture frames trembling, floor shaking, random strategically placed objects dancing, at Kagome's outburst. Outside, two men who looked strange and out of place like they stepped out of a black-and-white movie, and didn't get visited by the Technicolor fairy ran past yelling, "It's a twista! It's a twista!"
Inuyasha, however, was unaffected. He calmly slurped at his bowl of ramen, finishing it off. When all had returned to a semblance of normality, he boldly made eye contact as no man has made eye contact before, "You heard me," then as an after thought, "Wench."
"You have NO right..."
"I have every right."
"Says who?"
Inuyasha merely pointed to an official-looking paper that was currently taped to a dart board, a few darts sticking out of it for good measure.
"So?"
"To honor and OBEY, wench."
Kagome snarled at him, "You're not my keeper."
"I don't care. You're not seeing Popo again." This developed into an all-out, no-holds barred glaring deathmatch. After about five minutes, the point where their gazes met fairly crackled with energy. Then Kagome dealt the decisive blow.
"Your fly's unzipped."
Inuyasha's eyes widened considerably and his gaze shot downward to verify this information as Kagome used the distraction to slip away quietly. Best to avoid the inevitable confrontation. Yeah. Right.
"OI! Wench get back here!"
"You can't tell me what to do or who I can see Inuyasha!" She called back from the kitchen, dialing the wireless phone, and rinsing out their bowls in the kitchen. Someone picked up.
"Hello?"
"Hi! Hojo?"
"Yes, this is."
"This is Kagome, I was wondering- DAMMIT INUYASHA!"
Hojo blinked from his side of the phone as the sounds of a scuffle came through, "Hello? Kagome? What's going on?!"
A gruff male voice came on the line, "Sorry, wrong number." click
Kagome glared at the man who now held the phone. He glared back, and slammed the phone down on the counter.
"What part of 'no' do you not understand?"
"I think it's the negative part," she sneered.
"Kagome..."
"No."
The bickering continued for a while longer. That is, until the phone began to ring.
"You'll see him over my dead body!"
"That can be arranged!"
Ring!
"Wench!"
"Idiot!"
Ring!
"Fool!"
"Jerk!"
Ring!
"Bitch!"
"OOOh!" Kagome stormed away and Inuyasha angrily picked up the phone.
"WHAT?!"
"... I know what you did last summer..."
His brow furrowed, the voice was familiar, "Huh?"
"... Seven days..."
"Miroku, you ass, what do you want?"
Miroku sighed, "You're really no fun, you know that?"
"Feh."
"Anyway, I was merely inquiring as to whether you are going to grace me and the guys for a few games of cards at my place."
"Who'll be there?"
"The regulars, of course. But Royakan said he was bringing one of his buddies."
"... I'll be there." 'I gotta get out of here...'
"Cool." Click.
Now began the astronomical task of locating his keys. Rather sadistic if you ask me. He was currently attempting to fit his head under the couch in when he was interrupted.
"What are you looking for?"
Startled out of his wits, Inuyasha turned to face his 'attacker'. Kagome stood behind him, wearing a comfy pair of flannel pajamas. He eyed her innocent stance warily.
"My keys."
Kagome calmly crossed the room and entered the kitchen, disappearing for a moment and returning with the item. He accepted them from her.
"I knew that." He quickly made his way to the door when she stopped him again.
"Where are you going?"
"Out."
"Oh."
At this point, Kagome padded lightly after him, grabbing a jacket and handing it to him, "Here. It's starting to get chilly."
"Feh." Shrugging into it, he made to leave, but instead turned to look at her suspiciously, with one hand on the doorknob. "Why are you being so nice to me? I'm still pissed at you."
Kagome smiled sadly, "I'm your wife. It's my job."
He studied her coldly for a moment, and roughly jerked the door open. When he finally replied, his voice was dripping with venom.
"I'm not your obligation."
After that, he left.
Kagome stood in shock for a moment. He was never that unfeeling towards her before. If anything, he would just attempt to suffocate her in her sleep, but otherwise they could be comparable to just a couple of roommates. But for some reason, that hit home.
Slowly she moved towards the door and slid the locks into place. Then she smirked at a small piece of metal she held in her palm.
Oh well.
The game itself was well underway, Inuyasha leading by a hefty amount when all heck smashed untied. Unfortunately, Inuyasha was too absorbed in his hand to notice.
"Hey guys!"
Miroku greeted the newcomer brightly from where he sat, "What took you so long, Royakan?"
"Long story," The burly man pulled up a chair and motioned to his friend to sit as well, "Hojo, guys. Guys, Hojo."
The 'guys' made mandatory noncommittal grunts of welcome, except for a certain 'you-know-who'. His eyes snapped upwards and he glared steadily at this unfortunate creature by the name of 'Hojo'.
"Hi," Hojo responded politely, not noticing the man silently willing his head to implode. When he finally did, however, that opened up a whole new can of worms. Fly, fool, fly!
"Hey! You're Kagome's housemate!"
Inuyasha narrowed his eyes at him, "I'm actually her husband."
That mere four words caught everyone's attention.
Nobunaga cleared his throat, "When did you ever find time to tie the knot?"
"Shut up."
"Yes, sir."
Hojo was majorly bewildered, "But... that can't be right. She told me that Sesshoumaru was joking. We're going to the movies together on Saturday."
That elicited quite a response from Inuyasha. I.e. causing him to lunge across the table in a flury of playing cards to grab Hojo's collar and yank him towards him. They stared at eachother, eye-to-eye, and nose-to-nose, Inuyasha producing what could only be described as a growl, and Hojo looking as if he was about to wet himself.
"Keep the hell away from her."
"Hey, knock it off," It was Royakan to the rescue, "Jeez, Inuyasha, what's gotten into you?"
"Or who have you gotten into?" Miroku leered. That earned him a blow to the head by Nobunaga.
The recipient of the question merely grunted and shoved his victim away from his person to fall gracelessly back to his seat. Hojo stared at the livid Inuyasha, disturbed by the unnatural gleam in his eyes.
"... Perhaps I should leave..."
Royakan studied him, then the one who was currently threatening Hojo's very existence on this wonderful green earth.
"I guess-"
He didn't even get to finish. One could hardly tell that Hojo had even been there to begin with. One second he was there, then there was a blur, and then an empty seat. Amazing what a bit of motivation can do, ne?
Miroku threw a couple of cards into the pot, "So she's your woman huh?"
"My... wooh..." That last comment warranted a surprise visit of Mr. Fist to Miroku's Cranium, "Don't ever say that again!"
"Owww..." The victim rubbed his head, glaring at his attacker, "Dammit! I didn't need that!"
"Then don't tempt me."
Jinenji spoke up from his spot, cowering behind a ficus tree plant in the corner, for the first time in this fic, "Is it over?"
"Feh." Inuyasha began to shred a nearby napkin, still infuriated.
Everyone quickly moved all sharp and pointy objects out of his reach. He scowled and rose from his seat, grabbing the jacket Kagome had handed him earlier in the process.
"I'm outta here."
====
Kagome had been right. It did cool down fast. Inuyasha could actually see his breath as he hurried to the door. Upon verifying that the door was, indeed, locked, he fumbled for his keys, only to notice a small object taped to the window from the inside. His eyes widened.
It was his housekey.
====
Meanwhile, Kagome was sleeping soundly when the cry of a male species when issuing a challenge split the night.
"BITCH!!!"
She smiled.
Disclaimer: Nope.
A/N: Yeah, Yeah. I suck. I apologize for the extreme delay. That's what happens when life catches up on me. Heh. Heh. Unfortunately, I cannot offer any guarantees on when the next posting will be. Sorry.
5h1 n0 M1k0